'Can she have children? The woman you're having an affair with, can she have children?' Shelagh asked suddenly.
'What?' Patrick gasped dropping the plate he was drying onto the counter, both of them ignoring it shattering.
'Is she pretty? What's her name? No, wait don't tell me. I don't want to know.'
'Shelagh...I... I'm not having an affair!'
'I wish I could believe that. I really do.' She sighed turning slightly to face the far cupboard as he averted his eyes.
'Why would I lie to you about that? Why would you think that?'
'Because you can't look me in the eye and say you aren't. Because you can't even look at me at all. Because every time I try to get you to look at me you look guilty. Because you've barely spoken to me since the adoption interview and our fight no matter how times I've tried to apologise and make up for the harsh words I said. Because you come home late everyday smelling like another woman. Because I found lipstick on your collar last week in a colour I would never wear.. Because you haven't kissed me for 34 days. Because every time I try to seduce you or even hug you you turn away from me and claim you've had a long hard day. Because we haven't made love in a month and a half. Because ever since I handed you those forms for the adoption society you've barely touched me. Because I know you haven't been at the surgery because I've popped in to see you on late nights to learn you left early again looking rather dapper and wasn't you with her at some swanky hotel? Because you've suddenly started dressing smarter all of the time. Because Mr Taylor in the jeweller's shop asked me if I liked the necklace and watch you'd bought me for my birthday 2 weeks ago...my birthday was 5 months ago. Because I love you and I miss you and I can't stand not knowing anymore. Because I'm thinking of leaving you and I need to know whether I should file for divorce under infidelity or something else.' Shelagh said through the tears that began streaming down her face, pacing as she revealed her torment.
'You want to divorce me?' He asked weakly dropping into a chair shocked, unable to stop his legs from shaking. He felt sick to his stomach. She knew! She knew something had been going on. He thought he had hidden it well, managed to cover his tracks and yet here they were.
'Of course I don't want to divorce you Patrick. I love you desperately but I refuse to live a sham marriage. It wouldn't be right. That wouldn't be fair to either of us or to Timothy. You can keep custody of him of course. I'd never dream of taking him away from you. I'm just his stepmother. I'll never be a real parent no matter what he calls me. No matter how much I love him. I thought I was close but evidently I wasn't good enough and for that I apologise. I just hope your new lady treats him as well as he deserves. I know it's hard not to love him, believe me I've fallen head over heels for him. Just let me see him every other weekend or something. I can't stay around here of course. I can't stay in Poplar, not with everyone knowing I couldn't even make my marriage last a year. Oh and let me come to the school productions and sports days please. I can survive the stares for those. I would endue every torment of earth to see those. I want to still be a part of his life in whatever capacity you want. I'd understand if she wouldn't feel comfortable with anything more than that. I don't want him to lose another mother even if it's only a stepmother. I don't want to lose my son. I love him so much. I love both of you so much. That's why I'm going to step aside. I'll leave quietly. You can tell everyone that I was the cause, I wouldn't want to sully your professional reputation. I'll let you marry her and she can give you children and Timothy can have the little brother or sister he always wanted. I won't make a fuss. Just promise me she'll treat the two of you right. Promise me that she'll remember that when you say you don't want sugar in your tea you mean you want 3 even if you don't realise it. That she'll remember how to cook eggs just the way you like them. That she'll teach Timothy how to treat a lady. That she'll show Tim how to dress properly. That she'll practise dancing with him when he has school events. That she'll dance with him at his wedding. That she'll go camping with you like I said would. That she'll tie your ties for you when you're eating your toast as you run out the door because you overslept again. That she'll be a wonderful mother to all your children. And oh those kids will be beautiful. They'll be so lucky to have you as a father. She'll be so blessed to have you as a husband. Just as I was. Never let her forget that. The past year has been the best of my life. Being your wife for the last 8 months is my proudest achievement. I'm sorry I have to go.'
Shelagh sobbed, hand to mouth, as she ran out of the house leaving Patrick standing dumbfounded in the kitchen, rooted to the spot in shock for considerable seconds before the reality of the situation and this new twist of events hit him like one of the cargo crates he'd seen not 30 minutes previously. Shaking himself out of it he ran out after her but couldn't see her anywhere. Quickly scribbling down a note in case she returned before he did he picked a direction and began running faster than he ever had done. Where might she go? He wondered. Nonnatus House? No she wouldn't want to face Sister Evangelina and admit our marriage was over. Not that it is over. But Sister Julienne would be there. That would be incentive enough. But she'd be at work. Maybe the docks? Chummys house for help from her main married friend? Possibly The Monks? The park? Shelagh had been known to go to the park when life got overwhelming in the past it's as good a first try as anywhere.