Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
20 Ways to get Crucioed
1. Ask Voldemort to name five movies where the evil side won in the end.
2. Giggle loudly whenever Snape and Lucius Malfoy talk
3. Imply there is something else behind Voldemort's Harry Potter obesession.
4. Offer to redesign the Death Eater uniform. Leave sketches of wetsuits and togas lying around.
5. Hum the Imperial March every time Voldemort enters a room.
6. Ask Voldemort whether hypocrites are bad. When he answers yes, ask what happened to his muggle father.
7. Invite the Death Eaters to your Teddy Bears' Picnic.
8. Refer to Voldemort as 'The Riddler'.
9. On the way to dinner, sing The Batman theme tune.
10. Give Crabbe and Goyle Sr a laptop and its instruction manual.
11. Tell Lord Voldemort that he needs to go back to school, but Hogwarts won't have him.
12. Reenact Harry Potter's killing of the Basilisk five times a day.
13. Go into Voldemort's bedroom at three in the morning, singing 'Monster' by The Automatics at the top of your voice.
14. Walk up to Voldemort and go "Aren't you Lord Voldemort? Do you think you could get me Harry Potter's autograph?"
15. Encourage 'Circle time'.
16. In the middle of a Death Eater meeting, walk up to Voldemort and sit on his lap, glaring at the nearest Death Eaters.
17. Ask Crabbe Sr for help with your homework. Ask random questions about Logarithms and Inverse Trigonometrical Functions.
18. Question Draco's sexuality in front of Lucius. With diagrams.
19. Whenever Bellatrix is in the room, refer to yourself a 'Mrs Riddle'.
20. Point out to Voldemort that if he'd managed to kill Harry Potter when he was a baby, he wouldn't be having all this trouble now.