Chapter 1: Warp Fuckery

It was a peaceful day/night in the Immaterium, where monstrosities roamed and humans and aliens ran in insanity.

The Warp is a dimension made of pure psychic energy with a corrupted landscape. It attempts to infect the mind with twisted thoughts and desires. Most of the inhabitants of the Warp are loyal to Chaos, a collection of daemons and humans who worship the ruinous powers of the Chaos Gods. While the rest are either being enslaved or struggling to survive a few hours in the hell opposite of the material realm.

The Immaterium has another purpose other than being a place worse than Hell. And that purpose is for psykers.

Psykers are psychic individuals who are more connected to the Warp than others and can use their minds to do amazing powers. These can vary from shooting lighting from their fingertips to exploding millions of minds with a simple thought. But, not all aliens have psychic potential. Some species simply have no presence in the Immaterium, making daemons less likely to try to invade their minds. An example of a species with psykers are the Humans of The Imperium of Man.

There is one alien race however who's psychic powers grow as their kind increase in number. A society where might makes right, and that the strongest may survive. With technology that cannot even follow the simple physics of reality and instead works for it is believed that it works. A race whose people grow like weeds, growing a never ending tide of death and destruction. These aliens are named the Orks.

Gork and Mork are the twin gods of the Orks. Gork is brutal but cunning and Mork is cunning but brutal. In simpler terms, Gork will hit you with the strong swing of a club while Mork would hit you with a spiked bat while your're not looking. These two gods are believed to be the creators of the WAAAGH!, an Ork gathering in which an Ork Warboss, the biggest Ork in the planet, gathers up the nearby Orks and starts a galaxy-wide campaign of destruction in which multiple planets can be annihilated by the Orks. Though most WAAAGH!s have been stopped many times before.

The Orks themselves are always numerous and never ending. This is because all Orks are a combination of Animal and Fungus which makes them somehow resilient and powerful. They grow by spores, making the entire species asexual. The Orks are bioengineered to have specialists in their society called Oddboyz who have a specific role other than fighting. These Orks consist of Mekboyz, Painboyz, Runtherds, Weirdboyz, Herdas, and Pigdoks. The information for these types of Orks are engineered into their DNA, making them intelligent and even more dangerous. The only way to get rid of an Ork infested planet is to burn the planet of all life so that no spores may grow.

The average Ork is a subspecies of Orkoid, with Gretchins, Snotlings, and Squigs belonging to the same species. Gretchin are the Ork servants and do all their chores and being the guy who gets kicked 50 yards when an Ork is bored. The Snotlings are an even lower rank than Gretchin who cultivates the Orkoid spores and herds the Squigs that might possibly eat them.

The Squigs are breed by Orks for food, war, and possibly out of boredom. The most common being the Attack Squig, a two legged mouth with an appetite for an unfortunate being's face. Sometimes Ork might breed Squigs to become a Squiggoth, a giant squig that can vary from the size of an elephant to a small titan. These beats are seen at the front lines stomping and eating any enemy that gets close.

Like most races, the Orks have masted FTL (Faster Than Light) travel. Though instead of going through speeds unimaginable, you instead must traverse the Warp to get your destination quickly. The Imperium of Man have created the Warp-Drive to traverse the Warp and invented the Gellar Field to protect themselves from the Immaterium and it's Daemons. The Orks however looted the Warp-Drive and created a Warp-Engine, defying the laws of realspace and somehow going into the Warp. But since Orks like fighting so much, they decided it was a good idea for them to never have a Gellar Field and traverse the Warp whilst fighting Daemons.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Immaterium…...

On a specific Space hulk, a giant wreckage or massive cluster of a starship, an Ork crew has settled on the Ship and is currently going through the Warp with no signs of daemons yet.

"'Ey boss wen are weez gonna go lootin'? I need sum more skullz fer mi necklace!"

"Shut yer yap ya grot, it's gonna take awhile fer dim Spikey Kaos boyz ter show up. Weeb jus' got 'ere a few 'ours ago."

Chadunga Dekka Bozz is a Death Skulls Ork Warboss who found a Spacehulk while in the middle of a WAAAGH!. He had a thousand Mekboyz to snazz up the ship for him and and the rest of his nobz and boyz.

Death Skulls are an Ork tribe who is notorious for looting and stealing from others. This also includes stealing from each other. The tribe has the most Mekboyz and looted vehicles made Orky.

"So... why are weez owt in da Warp again boss? I thoght weez woz gonna scrap and go lootin' more o' dem 'umies?"

"Weeb're owt 'ere koz der's more Space 'ulks ter go around. An der more 'ulks weeb ab, da more boyz weeb kan carry! An be qwiet! If ya keep chatterin', i'll shove a gretchin down yer arse!"

"Sorry boss."

Wazgrukh RokSplitta is an Ork 'Ardboy, a better armored Ork boy but not quite a Nob yet. He was chosen by the Warboss to be his right-hand man when he killed 20 Orks with only two pieces of a split rock. But he is even better at killing when he wields a Shoota. Most Nobz are jealous since a small Boy like him was able to gain the Warboss' favor

Wazgrukh wore a rusted helmet, with a skull ornament to decorate the visor. A necklace of three human skulls went around his neck and a tattoo of the Death Skulls symbol shown clearly on his left arm. He wore a blue vest with a tank-top in an even lighter blue. His boots were steel-toed and had a the pauldron of a Blood Raven Space Marine he looted from on his right arm. He also has a weird device stuck in his chest saying "Ork Anti-Spore Device: Do not take off." He has his own private room in the ship where he keeps all his loot in one big chest. Since he steals from most of the crew and the the battlefield, he decided that his stuff was more important than anything.

After a few more hours Wazgrukh was getting bored so he went to Mekboy Krug Zappa, a famous Mek for frying 10,000 Tyranids when was trying to make a functioning toaster.

"Well look who it iz! It's mi favorite loota! Werr ab ya bin Wazgrukh?"

Krug was very fond of Wazgrukh since he was the best looter in the ship. One time he received a Leman Russ in perfect condition. Wazgrukh found the Guardsman guarding it asleep and drove the loud machine out of the base undetected.

"Nuffin yet. Ab ya figgered owt da weird gubbin dat's stuck in mi chest?"

"Oh dat fing? Nope, ab no clue. I've bin workin' ona nyoo klaw fer mi missin' 'and."

"Whadappeneded ter yer 'and?"

"I was makin' a Shokk Attack Gun an mi 'and was blown up. Probablee got teleporteded ter da warp. Maybe I kan find it floatin' around sumwhere! 'Ahahahaha!"

"'Ehehehehe, dat's a gud wun, Krug!"

They talked for a few more minutes until Wazgrukh decided to go back to his room. It was essentially just an empty room with one big chest in the middle acting as the bed.

"Welp, time ter git sum shut-eye."

He then fell into a deep sleep…

Meanwhile in the Warp…...

In the Warp you may find many space-faring ships going in and out. Most of these ships make it safely and others malfunction and make the crew stuck for eternity, become taken over by daemons, or horribly destroyed debris.

This time something different occurred.

A blue, swirling portal opens. Its size is immense and is decorated with four runes circling the ridges. And this portal happens to open near a certain Orky Space Hulk.

Meanwhile on the Space Hulk

BWAAAAAAAAMMMMMM

BWAAAAAAAAMMMMMM

"WOT DA ZOGG WAS DAT?!"

Wazgrukh was rudely awakened from his dreams of looting an Imperator Titan. He woke up to loud footsteps in the hallway and the Ship's alarm horn. When he opened the door he saw many boyz running to their stations and preparing to defend the ship. He quickly ran to the command center where Chandunga was located.

"Boss wot's 'appening? Are we gonna scrap sum Kaos boyz? Did we find anodder space 'ulk?!"

His boss said nothing, but instead he was looking at a blue light. Wazgrukh finally looked where Chadunga was staring at. What he saw was astonishing.

"'Oly Gork an Mork, whats dat?!"

After the Warboss' silence, he finally said something.

"I don't knowz... it's bootiful. Neva in mi life ab I ebur thoght I wuud see a portul loike dis..."

Soon many orks were in the command center, staring in awe at the giant blue portal, swirling like a sea of water.

"I uhhh... kinda feel loike i wan ter go in dere. It's bloo an bloo means lucky roight? Weeb kan probablee find sum gud loot! Wodda ya tink boss?"

The Warboss thought of what to do. If he went in the portal he could find some good scrap to loot and use since the portal was blue. And blue was the color of luck. He also could get into a good fight with whoever is on the other side. For a few minutes he sat and thought. Until he finally made the decision.

"YA KNOWZ WOT!? WEZ GONNA GIT LOOTIN' BOYZ! WAAAGH!"

Wazgrukh and the others replied heartily.

"WAAAGH!"

Chadunga grabbed his radio and screamed for everyone in the ship to hear.

"ATTENSHUN AWL ORKS AN GRETCHIN, WEZ GONNA GO IN DA SHINY PORTUL. AN WEZ GONNA GO IN DER KOZ ITS BLOO, AN BLOO ALWAYS IZ LUCKY! WAAAGH!"

The whole ship yelled for all the Warp to hear. Yelling the cry of the WAAAGH!

"'ERE WE GO BOYZ! FULL SPEED!"

Chadunga pressed the big red button that is connected to all the ships thrusters. The engines sparked to life and aimed towards the portal. The ship shook and tumbled as it sped towards the anomaly.

"GIT READY BOYZ DIS IZ GONNA BE DA BESTEST WAAAGH! ANYONE AZ EBUR SEUN!"

As the Orks were done entering the portal, it vanished before any daemons could get through.

One will pray they won't get killed off by the Orks and their Greentide.