Prologue:
Campbell Apartment, May 2012
Dan cannot keep the ridiculous smile off his smile as he buttons up his shirt. Sex with Serena was always good, but it had been so long since he felt this kind euphoria. He'd been with a few girls since her, but nothing really compared. He felt so relaxed and happy. Normally, he was left feeling bored or empty. What was it that the French called it- le petit mort? It meant a small death and there was always this strange feeling of emptiness that he felt after he came, but with Serena it was different. He felt like a giddy teenager and he wanted more.
"Don't act so surprised. We were always good together," Serena said as she looked at him with a satisfied smile on her lips.
Dan sighed and said, "We were. Weren't we?"
He finished buttoning his shirt, reached for his jacket and said, "Come on, let's go get something to eat."
"What about Blair?" She asked.
"You were right. I didn't love her and she certainly never loved me. We were a mistake."
Serena grinned at him and slipped her dress back on and turned for him to zip her up. They walked outside with Dan's hand grazing her waist. The air between them was sparkling with energy. Serena could feel the shift, but she was afraid to trust it; to trust him. It was one thing for them to have had sex, but he still chose Blair and that was not something she'd forget quickly. They walk into a diner on the upper east side and slide into a booth together. Dan waves over the waitress and orders himself a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. Serena orders a hamburger platter and he knew that she was sure to follow that with dessert. "Hungry?"Dan asked jokingly.
"I'm always hungry," Serena said as she bit her lip.
"It's amazing that you don't weight 300 pounds with the way you eat."
She looked at him with lust in her and eyes and said, "well I worked up an appetite tonight." Dan licked his lips in response and they sat there staring at each other. Dan didn't know what to say or how to express how he was feeling. How did things shift so quickly? He thought if he told himself to love Blair that it would make things easier, but it wasn't. The truth of the matter was that the reality didn't match what he had imagined. The sex was mediocre at best and she didn't understand him not the way Serena did. He didn't think anyone got him like she did. Dan knows he's hurt her, but maybe this was his chance for a fresh start; a chance to make things up to her. "I think we need to talk about um what happened earlier? Dan mumbled.
Serena looked at him and was about to say something when the waitress arrived with the food. "We'll talk, after we eat."
Dan smiled and watched her pack away more food in one sitting than most girls ate in a whole day. He loved her healthy appetite. One of the things he missed about being with her was the sheer pleasure he got from feeding her. She was a girl who appreciated a good meal. "What?"she said with a mouthful.
"Nothing."
"That's not your nothing face. Spill Humphrey!"
"I just missed this. I missed us."
That was about as much talking as they did that night. A few hours later they were stumbling into the apartment as Serena pulled the jacket from his shoulders and he fumbled with the zipper on her dress. They couldn't get enough of each other. Dan should have known that once he got a taste of her, he'd simply want more. She always had this ability to pull him in no matter how hard he tried to push her away. She was his Achilles heel; his kryptonite. Serena threw his jacket aside and stepped out of her dress as he led her to his bedroom. The small twin bed had been replaced by a larger full-sized one, but everything else remained as she remembered it. She sat on the edge of the bed as he looked down at her with desire pooling his eyes. She pulled him down to her and kissed him like she could grant his every wish with her lips.
"You're gorgeous," he whispered in between kisses. She knew that they should talk, but all she wanted to do was feel him. He had this ability to make her feel like no one else ever could. The fact that he was mooning over her bestfriend a few hours earlier was still nagging at her, but she refused to listen to that voice. He was here with her now. He wanted her.
But, for how long?
Serena didn't care. She was willing to take any part of him she could get. It may be sad and a little desperate, but she was in love with him. What she didn't realize that Dan never stopped loving her. Those walls he had erected were slowly crumbling with every caress.
One Week Later
Dan slipped out of bed and got dressed as quickly as he could. He had an errand to run. He hailed a cab and found himself at his agents door. "What are you doing here Dan?"
"I need you to do me a favor?"He asked.
"It's 8am. Are you insane?"
Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her with pleading eyes. "I know its early, but I need that extra ticket."
"You're flight is tomorrow dan. This is cutting it a little close."
"I want Serena to come with me. I need you to notify them that she'll be coming with me and to arrange a ticket for her."
Alessandra looked at him with surprise. "Serena? What happened to that uppity brunette?"
"Blair. That was a mistake. Just do this for me Alessandra,"he asked.
She shook her head and watched him walk away. The kid looked happy and that was nice to see.
Dan placed the bag full of donuts and the two coffees he bought at the café around the corner on the counter. He peeked into his bedroom to see if Serena was awake. Dan kissed her softly on the lips and watched as she stretched lazily. "Why are you already dressed?" Serena said as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.
"I had an errand to run."
She pulled him onto the bed and said, "Come back to bed. It's early." He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "As tempting as spending another day in bed is, I bought us some breakfast."
"Bring it here."
Dan sighed and went into the kitchen and brought back the donuts and coffee. He handed her a coffee and the bag of donuts as he sat cross-legged on the bed that they'd been sharing for the past week. He smiled as she dug into the bag and pulled out a donut. "Chocolate crème! My favorite," she said with glee. He drank his coffee and simply watched her. It was moments like this that he missed. He knew that they needed to talk, but he wasn't sure what he was going to say. All he knew was that he felt like a man who had woken from a deep sleep and was seeing her for the first time. Serena could still make her feel joy like no one else could and while that was scary because losing this feeling; losing her had been the most painful thing he'd ever experienced, he had no desire to run anymore. His feet were tired.
"We should probably talk,"Dan said.
Serena looked at him and swigged a bit of her coffee and sighed. She was hoping to put this off, but she knew it was coming. The sex was great, but a little over a week ago he was in love with her bestfriend.
"I know."
"I mean we went from being friends to being more and I know how you feel, I just need to explain."
Serena leaned over and put her fingers to his lips. "Don't say it. Don't say you're story. I don't think my heart could handle it."
Dan grabbed her wrist and lowered her finger. "I'm not sorry. How could I regret us? I know I haven't treated you the way you've deserved to be treated and that we have a lot of things to talk through, but I want us to try. I want us to try again."
"But, but you're going to Rome and what about the Blair thing?"
"The Blair thing was a mistake. As for Rome, I want you to come with me. We can figure this out; figure us out while we're there."
Serena looked at him, searching his eyes for what she wasn't sure. There was nothing she'd like more than to spend the entire summer in Rome with Dan, but a part of her was afraid that he'd just break her heart again. Another chance. Isn't that what she'd wanted all along? Now, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was happening to fast. He held her hand and looked down at her with that crooked smile on his face and she knew she'd like nothing more.
"On one condition."
"Name it!"Dan said.
"Cut your hair. It's awful."