Human After All
By Chocolate Pencil
Summary: A medic nin, the Akatsuki, and her time there.
A/N: Thanks to the ever awesome Flipspring for beta-ing this. Without her help, I would have failed miserably. So if she's reading this- THANK YOU! Anyways, this idea came after I saw the hundreds of 'girl joins Akatsuki and falls in TRUE LUV and stuff like that' fics and I wanted to see if I could write a believable one. Plus, I had tons of fun with revelation so I decided to give it a try. Alternate universe where Tobi does not join the Akatsuki. Feedback would be appreciated :D. Hope you enjoy!
Pairings: There weren't supposed to be any originally, but after some reading over, there could be implied Deidara/OC, Kisame/OC, Deidara/Kurotsuchi, or Sasori/Deidara. I dunno, it's all up to you. There is a lot of implied Deidara/OC, though. I guess that's the pairing?
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
Chiyoko could only wait as the footsteps approached closer to her little dwelling. After two years, two bitter yet free years, they had caught up to her and were finally going to take her away. She could escape, maybe, but she had no fight left. The time she spent hiding and running from the hunter nins had tired her, and she was resigned to what would come.
There was a knock on the door, polite and short. She was puzzled; shinobi who are capturing deflected ninja should not knock. Chiyoko opened the door cautiously, fully expecting a jutsu to immediately bind her. She was greeted by two complete strangers, definitely not Iwa nin, wearing unfamiliar cloaks. So maybe she was safe after all. Chiyoko didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.
"Hello?" she greeted. One of the men- the black haired, younger looking one- tilted his head slightly sideways as if analyzing her.
"Hello. We came here to seek you to join our organization, the Akatsuki. Perhaps you have heard of it?" Chiyoko nodded in shock. The Akatsuki had been used from time to time in Iwagakure, and she remembered being terrified of them.
"So, what do you say?" a blue skinned man cut in. His teeth were sharp and knifelike, and his eyes the eyes of a predator. He reminded her of a hungry shark.
"But- but why, why would you-" she stammered.
"One of our members recently died, so we need a replacement. It seems you excel in medical ninjutsu, is that right?" the first man continued in a flat tone. Without waiting for her reply, he added, "You have no other place to go. You deflected from Iwagakure two years ago due to the fact you were experimenting with medical ninjutsu on yourself. You are being hunted as we speak. When you are with the Akatsuki, you will be protected from such things. So will you join willingly, or shall we force you into it?"
"But why me?"
"You, I believe," the man started, "created and perfected the jutsu that replaces blood with dangerous chemicals found in the body. You are able to implode your opponent's organs inside the body, killing them quickly and efficiently. You are said to be extremely talented and one of the most skilled medical ninjas alive."
Chiyoko stared at them in surprise, shocked at the fact they knew so much. Those were some of her secret jutsus, the ones she tried hard not to use unless completely necessary. She killed all possible witnesses to them, so how did they know?
She took a breath. "Yes. I will."
What did she have to lose, anyways?
xxx
They allowed her to pack whatever little possessions she wanted to take- not very many, only enough to fit a small bag. The distance seemed to stretch on as Chiyoko walked towards something that was feared throughout her days in Iwa. It was made clear that although the dangerous organization was sometimes used, the moment their temporary alliance was over, they would become the enemy. When she was in the Academy, she remembered seeing a man, barely a man, for he had a giant flytrap around his head, and he was divided in half. It was probably one of the scariest things Chiyoko had experienced, and that was her impression of the Akatsuki. The men here were no help, one looked like a shark, and one, while human looking, was infinitely more terrifying than the shark man. It was his eyes, the haunted look they carried. Chiyoko looked away quickly whenever they gazed at her.
They introduced themselves as Kisame and Itachi, Kisame being the blue skinned man, Itachi being the black haired, haunted eyed one. Itachi ignored her for most of the journey, while Kisame occasionally chatted with her.
"Sorry about Itachi there," he apologized. "He's not that sociable and doesn't talk very much."
He also told her a little about the Akatsuki, how she would have a partner to work with- "Good luck with him, he's a lunatic"- the basic goal to capture all the bijuu, how to stay on everyone's good side- "You're lucky Sasori isn't around anymore. That man would have killed you in a second for even disturbing him"- and some other musings and facts that Kisame had stored up in him. None of this really helped Chiyoko because she was too busy wondering if he would bite her head off, or if he was gaining a sense of trust before he attacked. It was most likely her being paranoid. Kisame was just a man with no one to talk to, but the fear rooted deep within her told her he was not human, and therefore he could do anything.
She shivered in the heat of the day, and Kisame didn't comment, but he looked like he could guess what she was thinking, and his face showed that he was slightly hurt. Or maybe it was a trick of the light.
Either way, conversation dwindled after that.
xxx
They arrived in the cave a few days later, next to Amegakure, apparently. They were greeted by a rather annoyed looking man.
"What took you so long, hm? You almost made me feel like Sasori no danna, impatient and stuff, yeah." The man turned slightly to face Chiyoko, and frowned. Her eyes widened in recognition.
"Don't tell me this is my partner. She looks pathetic. A weakling," he scowled, one visible blue eye narrowing. Itachi looked at him indifferently.
"The same could be said for you. This is Chiyoko, and she is your new partner. Orders are from Leader, nothing I can do about it. Perhaps you two know each other, being both from Iwagakure?" he said tonelessly.
Chiyoko did know him, in fact. Deidara was infamous throughout Iwa for his artistic views and most of all, his deflection. She recalled his giant clay bird flying high into the sky and disappearing and all the chaos (and the tears, but no one remembers them except Kurotsuchi and herself) that occurred afterwards.
Deidara shrugged, holding out his hands so Chiyoko can see the mouths on them. The sight of them made her wince. "Don't know her, yeah."
There was a silence as Deidara stood examining a piece of paper in his hands, presumably with her stats and biography on it (how much did they know?), his long blond hair swirling around in the wind as he stared at it. Finally he looked up, and glanced in distaste at her.
"Average in genjutsu, average in taijutsu, average in ninjutsu, talented in medical ninjutsu. Is that the only reason you're here? Medical ninjutsu?" Chiyoko nodded, mildly ashamed now he said it like that, even though they were some advanced jutsus that many medical nins would die for.
"Don't underestimate her, Deidara. She can make you literally puke yourself inside out," Itachi deadpanned. Deidara raised his eyebrows.
"Gory. And it says here you experimented with them in yourself? You're almost as mad as Sasori no danna, yeah," he snorted. Then he held out his hand. "I'm Deidara. Maybe you've heard of me from that bag of dust. He doesn't like me, and I don't like him either. He never did appreciate my art, hm. Said it was stupid."
The outstretched hand went unshaken as Chiyoko stared at it with wide eyes. It was inhuman and ugly. It was disgusting. Were the Akatsuki just a bunch of freaks? She didn't belong here.
Deidara retracted his and his visible eye was cold, and his tone harsh. "You're no different than the rest, then." With that, he led her inside the cave, his words still ringing in her ears.
xxx
"Hey! I'm Tobi! Welcome!" a hyper figure with an orange mask squealed. Deidara glanced at him with scorn.
"That's Tobi. He was originally going to join in Sasori's place, but apparently Leader thought medical ninjutsu would be more useful than whatever crap he can do." Tobi looked slightly hurt at this, but instantly perked up.
"Well, nice meeting you!" Tobi beamed in his bubbly voice. "Have fun!" Deidara and Chiyoko exited the room.
When she turned back to look, she swore she saw the eye behind his one eyehole narrowing and spinning red.
Chiyoko met Hidan and Kakuzu as well. Kakuzu frightened her. His glowing green eyes searched her for something and the stitches all over his body were glaringly obvious. Hidan grinned at her in a mocking way, blood splattered all over his chest.
"This is the Zombie Duo, as dubbed by Kisame. They're immortal." Chiyoko's lips turn down now, everyone here was an oddity, shunned from their old life, and forced here. She simply didn't belong.
But she couldn't go anywhere else, as Itachi pointed out a few days before. She was just going to have to deal with it and add it to the list of reasons why she regretted leaving Iwa.
xxx
"Here's your cloak," Deidara tossed her a smaller version of his cloak, "and your ring." A ring was also thrown her direction. It was a purple ring with the kanji for jewel on it.
"Don't lose that," he told her, "It shows that you are in the Akatsuki. If you lose it, you better start worrying." He raised his eyebrows to demonstrate the point. "And if you ever leave or something, you have to return the ring, because they're irreplaceable, yeah."
Chiyoko nodded to show she understood. Deidara went back to handing (throwing) her stuff over.
"Hm, your hat, and your nail polish." He held up a nearly-full bottle of nail polish and nodded in satisfaction.
"All that really matters is the ring, yeah. Keep it safe, and remember to return it when you leave," he said, as if positively sure she would one day leave.
And maybe she would.
xxx
To be completely honest, not only did their looks frighten her, what was inside scared her the most.
They seemed completely heartless, murdering without a thought and actually reveling in the kill afterwards. Just watching them smirk after completing a mission makes her feel sick. Their eyes are all the same- haunted, lonely, insane. They could- and they would- kill without batting an eyelash or speaking a word. She would never do that. She could never do that.
It wasn't the looks that made them inhuman, although they were a part of it. It was their lack of soul.
xxx
Deidara, Chiyoko learned, was a very irritable partner. He would spend hours on end messing with his clay and would snap whenever anyone disturbed him. He was not easy to talk to and definitely not easy to work with. But somehow, she managed.
Chiyoko still held that grudge that these people weren't human, that they were anomalies and should be shunned. She even saw that plant man of her childhood nightmare- Zetsu; he was called, and was even scarier up close. Her fear made no sense at all, for in Iwagakure they taught that differences were looked up upon because they were extremely useful in battle, whether for fear or for destruction. It must have been a natural, gut feeling, that they were cruel, merciless beasts with no heart at all.
Sometimes, though, they proved her wrong.
"So, why did you deflect?" Deidara asked one night, absentmindedly playing with his clay. Chiyoko glanced up; it was a touchy subject for her, as it was for all members.
When she had discovered medical ninjutsu, it was wonderful. There was finally something that she could do well, something that made her feel superior. But she soon realized the process of making new jutsu and discoveries were painfully slow, sometimes it took months to get something to test on. So she did it on herself. The pain had been mind-numbing at first, but that was easily solved with a few already known jutsu. When they found out, though- the looks of disgust radiated off their faces, her mother, her father. Kurotsuchi begged her to please stop, and she did for a while, but the temptation was just too great.
This is the moment Chiyoko realized- if the other members are inhuman, does that mean she is as well? After all, she wasn't so different than the rest. She might even be worse.
She decided to avoid the question.
"Kurotsuchi misses you," she said quietly. Deidara looked at her in disbelief.
"And that's the reason you left?"
"No."
Deidara squeezed his clay so it's just a giant pancake. "Kurotsuchi, huh? Nice to know someone remembered me at least."
The air was silent as he played with the clay. Chiyoko could only look as she processed what happened.
I told him that his friend misses him, and that's all he does? Kurotsuchi missed him so much.
He lacks a heart.
Deidara's voice cut through her spiteful thoughts. "I made her a bird, once." Chiyoko saw a bird figure made of clay as he moves his arm to examine it. "I don't know if the old nutcase found it or not. " He tossed the bird to her. "Here. Give it to her if you ever see her again."
He lied down to sleep, and Chiyoko's thoughts began to whirl as they contradicted each other- again.
xxx
Kisame wasn't all that bad either.
They sometimes met at the battered up kitchen table, coincidentally, but they met all the same. Kisame would tell her all his woes and stories, and Chiyoko would just listen. He wasn't a bad man after you got past his looks, and just seemed lonely. A little like everyone here.
"Do you miss Iwagakure?" he asked once. The question caught her by surprise.
"I, I- yes, I do miss Iwa." She missed her family, and her friends, and that beat up dango shop she used to go to with Kurotsuchi. She missed the rocky mountains and the many beautiful waterfalls. Silly things to miss, she guessed, but she missed them all the same.
She missed home.
Kisame nodded like he understood her unspoken feelings. "Me too"
Only one with a heart would understand. So what did that make Kisame?
He was human, she guessed. They all were.
xxx
After a while, when Deidara realizes that Chiyoko was moving past her original biased shell, he became a little bit more kind to her, a little bit more open. Only a little, though.
It was him who first decided to do something about Chiyoko's mild ways. It was first started by a speech, which was something he did often. After much observation and some discussing with Kisame, she decided it was because Deidara's previous partner had made him feel inferior, and therefore needed an ego boost, which he found in the form of lecturing Chiyoko on the proper way Akatsuki members did things.
In his first lecture, he told her that being a member meant more than a fancy ring placed on your finger (the ring addressed was pointedly ignored by Deidara, who, for some reason, could not bear to look at it). Apparently Akatsuki members had to be cool under all situations, and calm even when faced with danger. His long winded speeches were usually interrupted by Hidan's jibes on how Deidara was the exact opposite of what he was talking about. Then Deidara would attack Hidan, and Hidan would fight back, and Chiyoko would be hiding in the shadows as they bickered. Deidara's bombs and Hidan's scythe were not things to be messed with. She was scared of both.
The lecture he most often gave to her was about how Akatsuki members do not cower, or act scared, and they are aggressive ("I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know what that meant," Deidara scoffed. "For a friend of Kurotsuchi, you are very cowardly. Brat."). Once, he decided a lecture wasn't enough, and he hinted that something was going to happen. Something bad.
Chiyoko went to bed more uneasy than ever, which was hard to do, seeing how she literally sprang up at the slightest sound every night. She blamed it on her ninja reflexes, but it was really because she was afraid Zetsu would come and eat her head off.
xxx
In the afternoon of the next day, Chiyoko found a bomb tossed her way, burning off the ends of her hair and leaving her face covered in black soot. She put up her arms in defense, hiding her face behind them.
A sigh came from in front of her. "Really, can you not fight back at all? That was my weakest bomb, and you could have easily attacked me with a ninjutsu or something, yeah."
The trend continued for the next week, with Chiyoko only responding with glares, until something in Chiyoko finally snaps and she decides that a giant bomb wiping her off the earth is better than little one randomly being thrown her way at the oddest times.
"Please stop," she said. Deidara smirked at her.
"No, hm."
Her glare would rival Itachi's. But he continued with his smug look, crossing his arms as if to dare Chiyoko to do something. But she only glared.
He stuck out his tongue like a five year old. And that infuriated her. Chiyoko's fists clenched at her side and she felt like she needed to attack him, to rip out his throat and cut his tendons and make it all stop.
"Stop it with your high and mighty lectures. I'm sick of it. You won't let me live in peace," she yelled. "I hate it. I hate it! Stop!"
Deidara's face ranged from hurt to anger. Finally he brightened up a little. "Well, my lessons are paying off at least, just not the way I expected. Good. Continue with the fighting back. It'll save your life someday."
Chiyoko was still in the aftermath of her anger, seeing red flash across her eyes and then disappearing.
Breathe, she told herself. Breathe.
Deidara is just trying to help, she realized, and trying to make her a better shinobi. A monster wouldn't do that, right? Only a human would.
xxx
Chiyoko watched in the flickering firelight as Deidara examined his arm wound. It was fairly deep, cut by the sharp claws of Three Tails. The blood streamed down his arm, dried up brown blood instantly replaced with fresh red streams. The wound was not serious though, a quick healing jutsu and some bandages would fix it nicely. Her arm reached out.
"Here, let me help-" she began, but his injured arm was pulled away.
"I'm fine," he snapped, staring at the blood.
"But if you keep letting the blood flow, you'll die and-"
"I don't care, I can manage."
"It's the least I can do-"
With that Deidara stood up and faced her. "It's not the least you can do, it's the most you can do. You're just some weak little girl who decided who play ninja one day. You can't do anything except medical ninjutsu, and it's not even needed. You're pathetic. Pathetic. Sasori no danna was so much better, arguments about art or not." He stalked away, leaving Chiyoko with the bitter sting of his words, lined with poison.
Later that night, Chiyoko edged nearer to Deidara as he slept. The wound was still unhealed, and the blood was gathering in a tiny pool around it. She summoned her chakra and slowly, the cut healed, leaving only a little opening behind and she wrapped white bandages around it. Deidara woke up at precisely this moment.
She prepared herself for the barrage of insults that were sure to come, but only a rueful sigh reached her ears.
"I guessed those lessons paid off, hm," Deidara said. He sat up and addressed her.
"Thanks you for healing my wound." Knowing Deidara, that was all the apology that she was going to get. He had his ego to take care of, after all. But she saw the tiniest of thankfulness in his eyes, and maybe, maybe a look that said "I'm sorry."
Firelight can do wonders to an eye, though.
xxx
Chiyoko and Deidara were on a mission to retrieve some scroll for some man- she hadn't really been listening, and all she really knew was to destroy the enemy (Deidara's specialty), get the important scroll, and return it to the equally important customer.
Deidara had just killed most of the shinobi guarding the scroll (something about it being completely necessary, Chiyoko decided to listen to him on this one, because, as mentioned before, she hadn't been paying much attention, just staring at the map and trying to plot a route), and the only one left was the one holding the scroll himself.
"Let me do it," she said.
"I have plenty of clay, I can just-"
She shook her head. "If you bomb him," she hissed, "you'll destroy the scroll too. Let me handle it."
Deidara nodded and stepped back. Chiyoko wove her hands into a pattern she herself had invented and sent the jutsu it created flying at the shinobi. He didn't have time to duck or dodge, and it hit near his heart, burrowing deep inside.
They watched as the man turned pale; pale as glass, and after a few seconds, dropped down onto the ground. Chiyoko walked over, slowly and carefully, even though she knew she had nothing to fear. She bent over and picked up the scroll.
"What was that?" Deidara asked; eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Well, it's a jutsu I invented. When it strikes into the bloodstream, it releases poisonous substances already found it the body, and it begins to suck out the blood. The substances already in the body begin gathering into the bloodstream, pushing the blood away. Now, instead of the blood circulating around the body, the substance is, and it kills you quickly and silently, as the substance is extremely toxic," Chiyoko explained.
Deidara hmmed and his features were molded into something like respect.
xxx
Once, Deidara took her to see fireworks.
Not romantically or anything- they were just in the area, and when Deidara heard the word fireworks his eyes lightened up and his smile grew wide and genuine (him at his most human). Chiyoko was positively dragged to a clearing as Deidara sat down and waited in anticipation, staring at the sky almost like a child.
"Why do you like them, anyways?" she asked. His eyes gleamed with flair and he took a deep breath, looking as if he was preparing for a long speech.
"Art is fleeting," he began. "It cannot last forever but while it does, it leaves such an impression that no one will ever forget it. Take the fireworks. They only last a few seconds, but they're beautiful, and they're art." He stops, like no more explanation is needed, but Chiyoko knows he would have gone on longer if the colorful fireworks hadn't filled the air at that moment. She dropped the subject, and gazed along with him as they burst across the murky night sky. They were rather fascinating, now she thought about it.
xxx
Deidara died the way he wanted, in an explosion. Everyone predicted it and no one was surprised. But there was a melancholy air in the hideout afterwards, almost as if everyone was mourning.
Kisame, for once, listened as Chiyoko talked about nothing in particular. She was just trying to cover up the pain, because she had cared for Deidara, just a little bit. His death hit her like one of his bombs, even though it was fully expected to happen (one day, but not that day). He should have been strong enough to take that boy on his own. She had watched the whole time, staying at a certain distance ("it's my battle," Deidara had told her. "Don't get involved.") and knew what if Deidara concentrated, if he didn't let his emotions get the better of him, he could win. But they did, and he decided to reveal (to Sasuke, to Sasori, to Itachi and Iwagakure and Chiyoko, to the world) what he could do. He had especially yelled at her to use another jutsu she invented that would protect one's body from harm for a short amount of time. That one jutsu would use all her chakra, she had told him, and wouldn't it be better for Deidara to use it and for her to just go stay farther away? He had argued he would be fine, perfectly fine, and she had to be around to see his ultimate art. She didn't have time to argue, as Deidara had already rushed back to face Sasuke Uchiha with his last creation.
He went with a bang, she thought wistfully, his blonde hair blowing everywhere and his blue eyes glowing with human emotion.
It haunts her to this day (why didn't you fight back, Chiyoko? Why didn't you tell him no? she thinks).
After all this time, she realized that their souls were still intact, no matter how much they tried to hide it. The coldest bunch of them all- like Itachi- was even sometimes seen to do a kind act, like refraining to comment on touchy subjects or maybe giving a sick member an extra blanket.
Even with all this killing and gore, the most monstrous human was still human, after all.
xxx
She left the Akatsuki soon after. When Deidara died, she became something like a loose cannon, snapping at people and crying (why did she cry? She didn't care, not one bit, she thought, but she was still crying). And once Madara was revealed (Tobi had always scared her, always had, no matter how many conclusions on Akatsuki and human nature she came to) she just couldn't continue working for some madman's dream. And after the original Akatsuki disbanded (they didn't die, they couldn't die, but they all did, in the end) she left, right after the news of Itachi's death came to her, and Tobi's real face was revealed. Now, she lives in a small house back in the Land of Earth, near her old home, with her daughter.
Her daughter is so innocent, and naïve. She believes in the bogeyman and is terrified of the cruel, merciless enemy ninja spoken of in the scary stories villagers would tell (Chiyoko never tells her that she was once part of them herself) will come and kill her in her sleep. Chiyoko would smile wryly whenever her daughter voices this thought. They had hearts, of course, and were above killing children in their sleep. Chiyoko should know.
But her daughter (with her bright blue eyes and sweet, sweet smile) is young, and will learn in time.
She keeps the memories of her journey in the Akatsuki carefully wrapped in old sheets and kept deep within the drawer near her bed. A jade ring (and a memory of one arrogant blond telling her it didn't make her immediately a member, she had to earn that title. She couldn't bear to return that ring, with all of its memories, and Madara wasn't really paying attention anyways) and a clay bird (she never did get to see Kurotsuchi again. But it brings back the memories of that first discovery-that maybe even a heartless killer has a heart as well).
Today, Chiyoko carefully takes out the ring and the bird and wipes them clean with a cloth; reliving every word that was ever said while she wore the ring, every moment she went through. Her daughter comes along and points to the ring, and the bird.
"What's that, Mama? They look fancy."
Chiyoko gently smiles and wraps them up again. "They just remind me of things. It's not important." (What a lie that was.)
Her daughter looks curious but drops the subject and they head out to watch the fireworks.