Forgive me, my friend.
A wave of dizziness hit Jim hard as he staggered towards the ship's warp core. The one thing keeping him going was his determination not to let what Scotty had said be true; "The ship's dead, sir; she's gone!"
No, Jim thought, I'm not going to let that happen! Not to my ship!
Jim stumbled into the warp core chamber and looked up at the misaligned housings; every now and then, they would faintly glow for a moment, then flicker out.
"Alright," he sighed, "now comes the hard part."
Painstakingly, Jim climbed up towards the core pieces, biting down the occasional wave of nausea that would hit him. Scotty's words echoed in the back of his head as he got closer; "That door is there to keep us from being irradiated; we'd be dead before we made the climb!"
"Well, albeit I'm half way there," he grunted as he reached the warp core, "but at least I'm not dead."
Jim grabbed the bar above his head, swung backwards, and kicked the misaligned piece. When nothing happened, he continued to kick it again and again. All the while, two things kept going through his head. The first was something he had told Spock the last time he saw him; that was one of the reasons he was doing this; "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do; I only know what I can do." The second was what he heard Spock say when he was trapped in the volcano; "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." That was the other reason he was doing this. Then finally, with one last kick, the warp core popped back into place, sending out a wave of radiation energy that sent Jim flying backwards into the wall, knocking him out cold. He wasn't sure how long he was out for when he woke up, but even with his vision blurring in and out, he could still tell that the warp core was back in place; his ship was hopefully safe.
"I've gotta get out of here." Jim panted as he began to crawl his way out of the warp core chamber. As he got closer to the exit, he could faintly hear Scotty's voice in the distance.
"Engineering to bridge. Mr. Spock."
"Mr. Scott?" Spock's voice said, undoubtedly over the ship's comm. system.
"Sir…you'd better get down here…better hurry."
Spock's on his way down. He thought. At least I'll be able to have one friendly face to talk to.
Every movement Jim made wreaked havoc on his radiated skin. He could feel his body slowly shutting down as he got closer to the way out, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to get out, even if he made it. But the thought of seeing his first officer one last time and of what he had to say to him spurred Jim to keep going. As he crawled through the last set of doors before the exit, he looked through the glass and could just make out what looked like an officer arrive wearing an unmistakably blue shirt.
Looks like I made it just in time. Jim thought as he leaned his weakened body against the glass, taking a moment to vainly try and catch his breath. When Spock rushed over to the glass door, Jim looked up at him, half expecting his first officer to be looking back at him with disapproval or annoyance as he always did, but instead saw in his face shock and horror.
"Open it." Spock said, looking over, probably at Scotty.
"The decontamination process is not complete; you'd flood the whole compartment." Scotty replied, a clear tone of defeat in his voice. "The door's locked, sir."
That reminds me… Jim thought before readjusting himself so he could close and lock the blast door to accelerate the decontamination process. But he knew it wouldn't help him; he was dead either way. He looked back at Spock, who had crouched down to his level, and asked him the one thing he wanted to know;
"How's our ship…?"
I may be the captain of this ship, he thought, but Spock's still in charge right now; at the moment, this ship is both of ours…And soon it will be his.
"…Out of danger…" Spock answered, what sounded like despair and regret on his voice.
"…Good…" Jim nodded to the best of his ability
"You saved the crew."
You say that as if what you did was nothing. There was no way Jim was going to let that thought stay to himself.
"Y…you used what he wanted against him;" he couldn't help but smirk at his first officer's actions and weakly nod again. "…That was a nice move…"
"It is what you would have done." Spock replied.
"…And this…this is what you would've done…" Spock looked away from him as if wishing it wasn't true. "It was only logical…"
Jim thought he felt a tear slowly fall down his face. Almost immediately he realized why, and upon doing so, he felt his will, his pride, everything that made him who he was, break.
I don't want to die! The second that thought came to him, the one emotion Jim wanted nothing more than to seal away forever boiled over against his control.
"I'm scared, Spock…" He whimpered. "…Help me not be…How do you choose not to feel?"
If anyone can help me not feel anything in death, it's Spock. Jim had thought. But when he looked into his first officer's dark brown eyes, he could have sworn he saw something in him break as well before he shook his head slightly.
"…I do not know…" Spock both looked and sounded on the verge of tears. "Right now I am failing…"
Jim could feel his heart beginning to slow down. He knew his death was about to come; but there was still one thing on his mind he had to tell Spock before that happened.
"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die…" He whispered. "Why I went back for you…" At that moment, Jim's vocal chords had shut down and the answer was stuck in his throat.
"Because you are my friend." Spock answered for him, a single tear falling from his left eye.
…So you knew all along. Jim thought. Which means you really are breaking because of me. He mustered up his remaining strength and placed his hand on the glass. I'm sorry, Spock. It's my fault that you're feeling anything right now; I never meant to do this to you…Forgive me, my friend.
At that moment, Spock placed his hand on the opposite side of the glass where Jim's hand was, forming a Vulcan salute. Jim used what little strength he had left to mirror him and weakly smiled.
Thank you…good bye my friend. With that last thought, his vision went completely black and all the pain he was in was gone. As he slipped further into the abyss, Jim thought he heard Spock's voice behind him, screaming in the distance one word filled with hatred and rage;
"KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!"
If you think I'm going to end it there, you're dead wrong (no pun intended). I only did this from Jim's point of view; but what was Spock thinking at the time? Don't worry, you'll find out.