This is just a small work. It's one of my only one-shots. You could say that Nozomu found inspiration in this story… or I found inspiration in the story itself, and modified it for the purpose of the fanfic. The story is told by Nozomu to his class….

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Summer of Despair:

Dazai Osamu.

"That day had been especially bad. Since his studying days, he had wanted to die. There were things that brought it up, and things that made the feeling go away, but today was different. Nothing truly mattered anymore. He would die.

"When he got home, he raided his own drawers. He was sure he had it somewhere…. He found it. Rope. But something was strange about this rope. It had been undone. He couldn't possibly hang himself with this. The rope had come untangled as it had been pushed around in the drawers and scrunched due to lack of space for so many years. It was a failed attempt before it even started. Until…"

"Dazai-san saw his lover standing in the doorway. He looked to confide in her, until he saw the knife in her hand. He asked, 'Tomie dear, why are you holding a knife?' She said, 'Isn't this what you wanted? To die?' Dazai answered, 'But I wanted to die without anyone having to commit sin. That person is burdened by the sin. It will be as if by letting you commit the sin that burdens you by letting you kill me, I was the reason for that burdening sin. I didn't want anyone to go through that for my desire to die, so I wanted to take my own life.' She said, 'I want to grant the wish of the kind person who moved in with me. As a proclamation of love for you…. Because if I did nothing for you before you died, I… wouldn't be able to live with myself…. So please… die for me, please!' She raised the knife.

"Dazai-san ran out of his house. He found his way to the Tamagawa Canal. 'I cannot allow any sin to be committed. My life is meaningless. I'm sorry….' Dazai tossed himself into the Canal. He drowned to death. His lover, Tomie Yamazaki, had seen the gruesome scene. 'Osamu….' She couldn't find the words. She couldn't live without him. She planned to kill herself after killing him, but now that he was dead… she jumped into the Canal. '… I'll see you soon…' Tomie Yamazaki drowned to death."

Nozomu was finishing up his lecture. "And that is the real tragic story of how my favorite author died."

His whole class was confused. Abiru spoke up. "Sensei, it was the rumor that Dazai's lover killed him, there isn't any proof."

"Exactly! It was my intent to drive that rumor down with this story! She tried to kill him…. But that drove him to his successful suicide! Suicide!"

Harumi said, "So he just basically took the rumor and twisted to his satisfaction."

"Fujiyoshi-san, there isn't any proof! If people are going to hear that, we may as well add that she didn't actually kill him at all, she drove him to suicide with her attempted homicide! Then she committed suicide!"

Kafuka seriously found a way to turn this positive. "They may have died, but that Canal was special! They became gods in the next life!"

"Kafuka-san, that's always your excuse for a completely obvious attempt at suicide that couldn't be overturned any other way! So you're saying that they killed themselves so that they could become gods?"

"Yes!"

Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash!

"Zetsuboushitta! The fact that people use excuses over and over again when any situation seems impossible has left me in despair!"

"Hey! The biggest game of the year is tomorrow! Are you ready?" "Um… I think I have hernia!" "Then you wouldn't be on the team! And that's always your excuse!"

"Are you prepared for the ACT's today?" "Um…. Heart Attack!" "You always say that. Then we take you to the hospital and it always turns out that you're lying."

"You wanna hang out?" "I've got the flu." "That's what you always say!"

"I may die, but I'll become a god in the next life!"

"That last one was you Kafuka! See! The author of this fic has only ever seen every episode of the anime and the first couple of manga chapters, but in the Manga, you probably said something else to that effect!"

"Actually sensei, Kafuka said something else about a couple dying and then becoming gods. I forgot where she did, but…."

"Matoi-san! How long have you been there?"

"The whole time."

"But Aha! You see! You use that excuse too much for anybody not to expect that to come from you when you know that you can't win an argument about death!"

Abiru questioned, "But sensei, isn't your excuse for dying because you're in despair all the time? About worldly matters that have nothing to do with you?" (FYI Abiru's view on Nozomu's desire to die has nothing to do with my opinions on the manga or anime).

"Err…. Hypocrisy has left me in despair!"

Nozomu then proceeded to the park to hang himself, and Kafuka and Maria followed to (presumably) stop him.

"Even telling a story leads to his attempted suicide. What's this class gonna do when the school board votes him off the staff?"

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Yeah, I created a story around an author. No Longer Human was Nozomu's favorite Novel, but I wasn't sure if Osamu Dazai, that novel's author, was Nozomu's favorite author. Because I hardly read any Novel's, I could call Osamu Dazai my favorite Novel author, not manga author. I actually found out about Zetsubou-sensei after reading No Longer Human and proceeding to look it up on wikipedia. I saw Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei there because it said that it's main character was "A caricature of the main character from that Novel". They do share some similarities.

Haga: Shouldn't you be working on your primary fic right now?

Don't nag me Haga! I'm allowed to write about an Idea I have…. And I put it in a way that Nozomu would.

Nozomu: Actually, I believe that Dazai killed himself and that Tomie had different emotional problems that had nothing to do with Dazai, and she killed herself along with him.

Okay…. Well, I'd better work on my current fic…..

Haga: You'd better.

Shut up Haga!

Well, Sayonara!