Well this is my new(well kinda old now) baby. It has a total of 15 chapters.
I hope you like it...
Chapter 1:
Bringing your baby one is supposed to be one of the best days of your life. It's the beginning of a new chapter, a new life. You're now a parent, all on your own, to provide and care for that child until it's time for him or her to go their own way.
Things don't always go that way though. Or well, Addison didn't feel that way. She was tired; she wanted to sleep and to be left alone. She was overwhelmed, people coming over to visit, her still unnamed baby crying all the time.
Around two in the morning, Derek came into their bedroom with the baby in his arms. "I think that she's hungry." Derek told her sleepily.
Addison sighed and sat up. "Okay, let's see…" She took the baby in her arms and raised her shirt. Derek's affirmation was true because the baby immediately latched on.
"Do you mind if I go back to sleep?" Derek asked her cautiously. He was really tired, but he knew that she hadn't really been adjusting well to having a baby at home.
Addison rolled her eyes. "Sure, why don't you go to bed while I take care of her, it's not like I'm tired too."
"I'm sorry, I'll just…watch." Derek offered.
Addison sighed and looked down at the baby. "No it's fine, I'm sorry."
Derek smiled thankfully. "Sure?"
"Yes." Addison nodded. "It's not like you can help me or anything."
"Thank you." He kissed her cheek. "I'll wake up next time."
"Thanks." She smiled as much as she could. The baby finished soon after that and she put her back in her crib. "I love you…" She whispered softly, her throat blocked by tears.
The baby looked at her mommy for about a minute before she fell back asleep. Addison went back to her room and tried to sleep for a few hours, praying God that the baby wouldn't wake too soon.
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The next morning, Addison woke up to a silent home. She looked around her room and saw that Derek was no longer in bed. She got up slowly and made her way to the kitchen, where she found Derek and the baby cooking breakfast.
"Hey." She greeted him. "Why didn't you wake me up? Wasn't she hungry when she woke up?"
"She was." He nodded. "But I used one of the bottles in the fridge. You looked too peaceful."
"Oh, thanks." She looked at the baby in his arms but couldn't bring herself to smile. "We should probably find her a name soon; she's been home for two weeks now."
"We should." Derek agreed. He put the baby in her carrier and placed the food on the table. "There you go, you should eat a little." Derek knew Addison hadn't been eating too well recently, if she ate anything at all.
"I'm not really that hungry…" She lied. She wanted to lose the baby weight, she wanted to look like she used to.
Derek looked at her worriedly. "You have to eat though."
"I guess." She picked her fork and picked on her pancake. "So, do you have any name ideas?"
"Well I loved the name we first picked, but it just doesn't fit her." Derek looked over at the baby and shook his head. "Nope, it definitely doesn't fit her."
"I agree. She isn't a Kayla. I don't really have other ideas at the moment, nothing seems to fit her."
"We will have to find her a name eventually Addie, we can't go around the issue every time we speak about it. She's human and humans have names." Derek told her cautiously. He wasn't so sure on how she would react to that.
"She's just a baby; she doesn't need a name yet." She replied flatly.
Derek looked at her and studied her face. She had been like that since they had gotten home. She didn't really seem interested in the baby, he didn't want to push on the issue but it was starting to worry him. "Addison…someday you'll have to realize that she's there, and she won't go away."
"I'm not stupid!" She snapped. "I'm 20, I'm too young to stay tied down with a baby for the rest of my life. It's not what I want; it's not what anybody would want."
"Addie…"
"I love her, I really do." She told him sincerely. "She's my daughter and I want to be a perfect mother for her, but I can't. It's summer Derek, our friends are all out partying and having fun while we are stuck here, changing dirty diapers and waiting for her to cry."
Derek shut his eyes and sighed. "Addie, the first weeks are always hard, but we both know that it'll get better. I know what our friends are up to, but they don't have what we have. We are smart, studying to be what we believe is the best job in the world, and we found each other and had a baby, a wonderful baby, a baby who deserves to be loved."
"She is loved! I love her, why can't you understand that!"
"It's kind of hard to understand with you acting that way! She can feel it you know, she can feel that you're annoyed by her and that you don't really want to be around her." Derek told her softly, taking hold on her hand.
Addison yanked her hand back and looked at him furiously. "Don't rub the fact that I'm a bad mother in my face, it's not going to help things."
"You are not a bad mother!" Derek exclaimed, a little too loud because the baby started crying. Addison got up and went to pick the baby from her carrier. She tried to comfort her but nothing seemed to work.
"See, she hates me." Addison told him dully, after about five minutes of having the baby cry in her arms.
"She can feel that you're stressed." Derek repeated his previous statement simply.
Addison passed the baby over to Derek. "You're right; she doesn't want to be around me right now. Take her somewhere with you, I want to be alone now."
"Addie, it's not what I meant…"
"No Derek, just for an hour or something. Take her somewhere; I just want to be alone."
"Stop crying." Derek wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. "We could all go together; maybe it would be good for you to go out too."
"I don't want to go out." She shook her head. "Just go please, make her stop crying. I can't stand having her cry, it breaks my heart."
"That's not a bad thing, you know…"
"I'm used to being perfect at what I do." She interrupted him. "But I can't seem to do this, being a parent, and I feel like I'm failing. It hurts, I hate the feeling."
"If you tell yourself that you're a bad mother, it won't help things."
"Please…" She whispered. "Take her somewhere."
Derek sighed and kissed her forehead. "Okay."
Addison looked down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have this huge breakdown."
"It's okay." Derek brushed it off. "Don't worry, we'll go out and take a walk. We can bring you something back from Starbucks if you'd like."
Addison wiped her left over tears away and smiled softly. "That'd be nice. I'll just take a shower and clean a little."
"That's fine." He nodded. He took the baby carrier and placed it on the stroller in the living room.
"Don't forget to take diapers and milk with you."
"I won't." He smiled. "See you do have the mommy instinct."
"I guess." She sighed. "I'm probably just tired."
"Yes, you probably are." Derek agreed. "Relax okay, I'll show her what New York looks like."
"You have fun." She pecked Derek lips and then looked at the now sleeping baby. "You have fun too." She rubbed a finger over the baby's chubby cheek.
"Bye Addie." Derek pushed the stroller out the door and closed him behind himself.
Addison looked at them leave and let out a sigh a relief. Alone, she was finally alone.
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