DISCLAIMER: All copy/publication rights to JK. Rowling.
PART 1, Chapter 1: Of Hangovers, Barking Watering Pots, and Best Man Speeches.
The sun's rays bled into the open garage door, reflecting in the rearview mirrors of my motorbike. The mirrors flashed a striking white light into my eyes, making me squirm against the leather seat.
A colourful array of curse words left my mouth, as I tried to focus out the painful discoloration and tears on the brim of my eyelids blocking my sight.
This wasn't the first time I was running away from home while blind and cursing. Not too long ago, 16 years' worth of belongings were hastily thrown in my trunk in a span of 16 seconds in the middle of the night. In the pitch darkness of the Black household, my anger guided my feet out the door, while I hollered every curse word known by pureblood, half-blood, muggle-born, troll, goblin, and werewolf.
I should also note that when I got to James' house and opened my trunk that night, none of my socks made a pair, my so called vintage band t-shirts were substituted for dressing robes, and the textbooks gathered could have been used by a second year student. Merlin knows how my good knickers made it out with me.
When I had left 12 Grimmauld Place for the last time, I was a fool to believed that the pureblood mania was past me. By stepping out that door, I had rejected the incestuous marriage arrangements, laundered inheritance, and limited occupational choices (Death Eater, or politician), so technically speaking I had nothing left to do with my primeval family.
But here I was again, less than a year later, being sent away from my home, because of them. While my mates would be off fighting Death Eaters, and recruiting members for the Order of the Phoenix, I would gallantly spend my time blindly traveling through uncertain circumstances to find my destiny…
I am not bluffing, that was exactly the poetic bull Dumbledore tried to feed me last week when he said I had to leave. Merlin knows what he had spiked in his pumpkin juice to come up with that. But clearly I needed what he was drinking if I wanted to keep hold of my sanity.
As I adjusted my grip on the handlebars of the bike, sharp pain shot out of my skull. Firewhiskey for dinner was not Peter's brightest suggestion, but it seemed like a good idea last night.
The pain alluded to blurrier vision and a wave of nausea boiled in my stomach, throwing me off my motorbike. I fell to the floor, landing on—to my convenience—a bewitched watering pot, which started showering me of its own accord. Water sprayed out from all directions, ruining my tousled hair and prized leather jacket, as the metal pot jumped up and down like an angry dog whose tail had been stepped on. The pot endlessly refilled itself, and continued washing over my limp body and an entirely new range of curse words left my mouth. When the water was getting dangerously close to my motorbike, I silenced the mutt with my wand before it could do any more damage. Leather bike accessories aren't cheap.
If I were one of those glass half full types, I would probably be thankful that the water had woken me up, and reduced the pain in my head. But then again, I wouldn't be attacked by a watering pot if I wasn't forced to leave.
One day when I'm old and grey, and James's grandchildren ask how I started my courageous journey, I'll be sure to tell them that I was blind and hung-over, while wrestling a dog-like garden utensil.
"Padfoot if you wanted a last minute wash, the swamp in my backyard is just itching to swallow up something good," said James' voice nearby. A chime of laughter followed, which sounded like Remus and Peter.
I turned around to see my friends standing in front of the garage doors, for who knows how long, laughing at my graceful antics.
"Prongs out of bed before noon," I countered, "Lily made you sleep on the couch again?"
This earned me a laugh from everyone as they entered the small room. Even in the dim light of the garage, they weren't much to look at with their sleepy faces, and disheveled clothes from the night before. Then again, this time of day was equivalent to the crack of dawn for them, and none of them were known for being early birds.
Come to think of it, after how pissed everyone got the night before, Merlin knows how they all got out of bed.
"Shut-up you prat. Why you taking off without saying good-bye?" he asked fixing his lopsided glasses to get a better look at me.
"Besides, you're doing a lousier job of it than when Moony tried to get away on full moons in first-year" Peter's voice boomed in.
"Hey I was discreet while making those trips," Remus argued, "and if you lot weren't so nosy and followed me around, it would have probably been a long time before you found out…"
"Moony, you kept a calendar labeled with "Sick Days" on 30-day transition schedule" I interrupted, "What were we supposed to do, believe you were a seer predicting your female cycles?"
"Yeah, first year wasn't my brightest," he added sheepishly, which made everyone break into a hearty laugh. Their laughter was quickly replaced by anxious expressions, and they each exchanged glances between themselves.
I deliberately tried leaving at dawn to save any last unnecessary 'don't do anything stupid' speeches from Remus, or more crying from Peter. And I definitely didn't need the repeated 'you'll be back in a month' advice from James, which he said in-between breaths every day for the past week.
"You know the whole point of running away, is to do it without being noticed." I pointed out before any of them could get a word in.
"Stop being so dramatic Padfoot," Remus tried to joke, but his face still held worry, "You're not running away, you're just... going into hiding."
"Tomayto, Tomahto" I muttered under my breath.
All I'm saying is that it wasn't very Gryffindor of me to abandon my friends and the Order in the middle of a war.
"Who the hell says Tomayto?" Peter whispered
"Americans," James whispered back, as they followed me into the garage like lost puppies.
The first time I left home, I didn't even admit to myself what I was doing until I was halfway out the door. I was so angry that my arms automatically started gathering my things,as silently as peter in animagus form. I think at the time, I feared being jailed in my room with protective wards from my overprotective mother, or even chained to the leg of our house-elf Kreature by my concerned father.
That behaviour wasn't unexpected of them, especially when I was their eldest son and heir to the Black family. Having knowledge of crimes that could have sent them both to Azkaban definitely didn't have anything to do with it.
I knew The Marauders weren't remotely like the Blacks. Even though I envied all of their freedom, and their worries overbearing, the the least I could do was let them give me a proper send off.
"So let's hear it. What do you lot have to say to me that woke you up despite being totally pissed from last night. I mean, we all said our good-byes yesterday,"
"To be honest Padfoot, no one remembers the good-byes from yesterday, so I think we owe you this much" Remus said as he took a small parcel out of his pocket.
"Awe Moony feeling emotional? That had better not be an engagement ring, because I'm not making any promises there."
"They're muggle stamps you arse. It's the safest way of communication wherever you're going, so you had better get used to them" he said tossing them towards me. As I looked at the worry lines on his forehead and the lectured glare he held, my chest began to feel heavy. This was the feeling I wanted to avoid most.
"Take care of yourself Moony," I whispered shoving the package in my pocket. He came up to me, gripping my shoulder before embracing me into a small hug. The thoughts of not being there to sneak money into his wallet, or rant about the senseless anti-werewolf laws, came into my head. And although James and Peter and Lily would still support him, he would still be my biggest concern of all my friends.
"Bye Padfoot, he said with a nod. Peter came up next with actual tears in his eyes. I tried to hold a smirk back, as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and started sobbing.
"Off with it Wormtail, no need to get emotional. It's not like I've enlisted in the Ministry Army...unless that's Dumbledore's idea of keeping me safe." This wasn't ideally his idea of a joke, and brought louder wails from him.
"Quit scaring him Padfoot," James chimed in.
"Wanted for questioning by the Ministry, targeted by Deatheaters, and now its not even safe enough for you to stay with the Order! How do you sleep at night?" He said with a quivering voice.
"Come now Wormtail, what would your mother think if she saw you crying like this?
"I'm going home to take care of her," said Peter shaking, "I'll write to you whenever I can,".
"I expect a letter every week Wormtail," I said in a hoarse voice. I felt a lump forming in my throat as he started backing away. Remus told me about Peter's situation the night before. He was also leaving the Order to deal with family issues. But coincidentally he was going to take care of his family, not runaway from them.
James was next, giving me the "you'll be back in a month" expression. But before he could say it for the millionth time, we were graciously interrupted.
"BOYS!" came the sweet voice of James' girlfriend which sent even the strongest of birds plummeting down the near by trees.
"WHY IS THERE FIREWISHKEY BOTTLES LINED UP ALL AROUND THE PORCH?" she continued walking up to us with the same volume. She was known for talking loudly to aid those who had trouble hearing...usually caused by previous conversations with her.
"YOU KNOW WE HAVE TO PRACTICE SOBRIETY AS ACTIVE MEMBERS OF THE ORDER, SO IF DUMBLEDORE COMES BY I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU RIGHT AWAY AND…"
"Oi, Evans, you are no longer Headgirl, so get that pin out of your arse and use it on James for later!" I yell back to save my mate from a near death experience. Her flaming red hair matched the colour of her skin, and she clutched onto a small paper bag. James was shaking behind me while he tried to interject.
"Well sweetheart, Sirius is leaving and so last night we had a little celebration to…"
"Oh save it Potter, ill deal with you in the house." She snapped striding towards me.
"Yes dear." He said in the same voice Peter used moments before.
"Prongs in his finest moment," coughed Moony.
"YOU" she started shoving the bag into my hands, "Just because you're leaving, I'll forget what you said about my arse and I wont hex you into oblivion." Lily pointed her finger a lot when she spoke, someone really ought to tell her how rude that was.
"Now give me a hug you buggering idiot," she muttered and I wrapped her around my arms while laughing into her hair.
"Is this a BLT? Oh did you put extra mustard in it?" I teased her, but really I felt touched that she would go through the trouble.
Mocking Lily used to be one of my favourite pass times at Hogwarts. We never saw eye to eye, but after growing closer to James, she grew a possessive mother bear instinct over the rest of the Marauders, making sure there was food in the fridge, and reminding us to do our laundry before we ran out of clean clothes. She also deflated James' head a good few inches and it fit nicely on his head by the time we graduated.
"Of course I did! Now listen, you need to be careful," she said in my hair with a softer voice, "If you need anything, send word and we will somehow get it to you. Also is it really necessary to travel by this attention seeking joyride, because if you ask me I think its…"
"Yes mother, I will do my best" I interrupted breaking out of the hug.
I put my lips to her ear and whispered, "And if he gets down on one knee before I come back, for the love of Merlin, say yes Evans. I don't think my attention span could take his constant moaning of rejection all over again." Lily gave me a small laugh, while also holding back tears in her eyes. It was almost a sweet moment-until her face distorted into a nagging expression once again.
"Oi, you lot help me clean the mess you so kindly left outside!" She instructed to the Marauders, and Peter and Remus followed her out.
"Go help them," I said to James who stayed behind. Avoiding his gaze, I got onto my bike and put my gifts into the back compartment.
"And I swear Prongs, if you say I'm coming back in a month one more time, I'll go outside and tell Lily all about our little run-in with the muggle police in London," I warned him when he didn't leave.
"I guess you're going to have to use this for two months then" he suggested holding up a small item wrapped in cloth. He never failed to make me smile.
I took a good look at James who absent-mindedly ran his hands through his hair, as he walked up to my bike. I still pictured the lanky, pointy-faced boy I met so many years ago on the Hogwarts express. And as he still had the same proud smile, unruly hair, and lame humour, I knew he would never change. James placed the item inside one of the pockets of my leather jacket.
"What is that anyway?" I said as he turns to see me. His infamous smirk appeared once again.
"Remember the two-way mirror Fitch confiscated in sixth year?"
"You got it back! How did you even get into his office?" I snapped my head up in excitement.
"Believe it or not, Ms. Lily Evans, got it back on a dare from me when doing rounds," he said proudly.
"Prongs, if you don't marry her I will!"
We both laughed once again, looking out the garage doors. Lily was happily bossing Peter and Remus on the porch, making them pick up broken Firewhiskey bottles from the night before.
When our laughter died down into a comforting silence, I felt my throat closing in. Since I was eleven years old, I have never been separated from James Potter. We spent all our time at Hogwarts together, the holidays were always at his home, after I turned sixteen…well I would've been out on the street if it weren't for his family.
"Listen to me," I said clearing my throat, "I wrote a will. Its in the second drawer of my dresser… incase…. you know…"
"There were better ways of wasting your time," He said putting a hand on my shoulder "shooting flies with your wand, finally reading the History of Hogwarts, honestly mate the possibilities are endless". However, James' lighthearted words didn't read his face.
"Look, you're a survivor. I know if anyone can get through this its you" James said in all seriousness. I didn't know how to respond to that, as we rarely had serious conversations.
I took my time putting on my helmet and gloves, letting his words simmer in my mind. I shouldn't have had to be going through any of this in the first place.
Turning on the ignition of the bike, the engine let out a rambunctious sound. It must have been heard by the entire neighbourhood, as even Lily halted her yells outside.
"I'll send word as the first sight of him," James yelled over the engine. "He's the wanted man here Sirius, not you"
James followed me out onto the driveway, squinting from the beaming sunlight. The sun was now above the distant trees, and the sky was clear and bright blue. Back at Hogwarts, this was ideal weather for Quidditch, or taking a dip in the Great Lake. I couldn't picture what the ideal weather for running away was.
My eyes started absentmindedly tracing my route through the stream of clouds heading east. I slowly drove my bike onto the end of the property, James walking alongside me in silence.
"Then why am I the one leaving?" I delayed my question for as long as I could. We both knew the answer. But even now, with my muggle stamps, BLT, and two way mirror, it still seemed surreal.
"Because you have something to come back to." His words made me pull the breaks. I took off my helmet and started at him in awe, wondering when James Potter became so wise.
"Sirius, I know you're angry. But you gotta stay focused, because we need you back alive. I'm not getting married until I'm sure you've prepared a god-awful best man speech, and Lily already said if you don't do it, then she's going to …"
I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him from talking. I didn't need to say anything to James for him to understand how I was feeling.
"Give Evans a hard time while i'm gone for the month," I said quietly.
"I'll make sure to cause enough havoc for two months," he laughed. "And in the meantime, just turn into your animagus if you feel uneasy," James' eyes lit up with the idea.
I pulled on the levitation lever and the bike started hovering up towards the sky
"Is that what you do when Evans starts bickering at you?" I yell over my shoulder as the bike gained height. He flung his head back with laughter, and I was grateful it was the last memory I had of him before I left.
The motorbike gained height until it was fifty feet in the air, and I allowed myself to turn and look below. The Potter manner shrunk into the size of my thumb, as my ant sized friends were jumping up and down waving up at me. Pulling on the acceleration lever, I tried to focus on the journey ahead of me.
James was right. I had to come back to them in one piece, or else the best man speech would probably be written by Lily Potter.
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This story is basically my first-born, and like all new mom's, idk wtf I'm doing! I need your support to guide me through it! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE, to read your thoughts/comments on the chapter! You have constructive criticism or advice? EVEN BETTER!
I'm a long time fan fiction reader who recently found the courage to publish my own work, after reading endless cliches and overdone story lines. If you think my story sounds promising (and originial) please stick around, I tried to make this as unconventional from most Sirius Black fanfictions as I could without breaking canon