A/N: Genderswap, for Day Three of Huntbastian Week 2013. Not everyone's thing, I know, and I was going to skip it, but this idea got in my head and wouldn't leave. Enjoy.
Dude Looks Like a Lady
Written for Huntbastian Week 2013
Day Three: Genderswap
Sebastian Smythe woke on that fateful Saturday morning earlier than he normally would. He stretched, rolled over, and then his face was attacked by his hair. He had been growing it out, but had it really gotten that long? He brushed it out of his face. It definitely hadn't been that long last night. Sebastian sat stick straight up in his bed. Everything in the room was as he'd left it the night before. His hair fell about his… shoulders? He looked down at it, then screamed. He jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. He screamed again. There he was – in the boxers he'd been wearing the night before – except he wasn't a he anymore. Breasts! What were these? He'd never liked breasts, even when they were on other people!
What fresh sorcery is this?
Help. He needed help. His first thought was Hunter, but then he immediately quashed that idea. He hoped he never had to explain this to Hunter. He'd left early for his morning run anyway. Sebastian dashed back into the bedroom and grabbed his phone, calling the first person that came to mind.
"Hello," Nick answered.
"Nick, thank God, I need help!" Sebastian cringed. Even his voice sounded different.
"Sebastian, is that you?"
"Yes, it's me. Get over here, I need help. Bring Jeff," Sebastian snapped before hanging up. He rummaged in his drawers for a black Hummel Tires and Lube t-shirt that had once belonged to Blaine (Blaine had left it here on accident one day, and Sebastian had kept it because it smelled like him), and pulled it on before Nick and Jeff were knocking on the door. He let them in.
"What's the emergenc–" Jeff stopped talking, seeing Sebastian. "Oh, what fresh sorcery is this?"
"Help!" Sebastian begged.
"How?" Nick asked. "Do I look like a wizard?"
"To be honest, I was hoping," Sebastian admitted. "This is a disaster." Suddenly his eyes got wide as a thought occurred to him. He felt his crotch, then, panicked, looked in his boxers. "Noo!" he yelled, falling to his knees.
"Alright, so you're a girl," Jeff summarized. "How is that different, really?"
"Excuse me?" Sebastian asked, looking up at Jeff.
"I mean, really, you were already into men, what's the difference?"
"If you didn't look so much bigger than me today for some reason, I would so hit you," Sebastian warned. He stood up and walked back to the mirror. Judging from Nick and Jeff, Sebastian had shrunk almost a foot in height, and was somewhere in between 5'3 and 5'4. He was thin, probably a size 3 or 4, and it's not that he was unattractive, it's that he wasn't supposed to be a girl. No one could know. He'd never live it down.
"Well," Nick sighed. "You're going to need some clothes. First things first. We'll take you shopping."
"Nooo," Sebastian protested. "Noo, no, no. I'll just go back to bed and hope this is a dream."
"Do you really want Hunter to come back and see you?" Jeff asked. Sebastian sighed and opened his dresser again, pulling out his workout clothes. They might fit. Maybe. Once he was dressed, he allowed Nick and Jeff to walk him to the parking lot, stuff him in Jeff's Nissan, and drive him to the mall.
"What do girls wear?" Nick asked Jeff. Jeff shrugged. "Alright, bare essentials for a few days until you can get back. Underwear, socks, something to wear to class–"
"Oh, God, I cannot go to class," Sebastian moaned. "We go to an all-boys school! What did I do to deserve this fresh hell?"
"You're lucky you're cute. Stop making a scene," Jeff said.
"You could transfer to Crawford Country Day," Nick suggested.
"I'm a boy!" Sebastian insisted.
"Sure you are," Jeff agreed, pressing a kiss to the top of Sebastian's head. "A very cute one too." Jeff took Sebastian's hand and pulled him into Victoria's Secret, then American Eagle, then virtually every other shop in the mall.
Many hours later, Sebastian was back in his dorm room, wearing a white button down with two buttons undone, Dalton tie loosely tied, underneath Blaine's old Dalton blazer which Nick had confiscated and fortunately fit him, and a pleated skirt in the same color as the Dalton uniform's pants. On his feet, hilarious navy knee socks and black Mary Jane's.
Fuck, I look like Rachel Berry.
He pulled his brush through his hair and sighed. At least he was hot. (Unlike Rachel Berry.) He sighed again, and suddenly keys jangled in the lock and Hunter was walking in the door behind him. Sebastian whipped around to see Hunter staring at him.
"Hey, d-bag, eyes up here," Sebastian ordered, snapping. Hunter's eyes immediately snapped up to Sebastian's face, then he cleared his throat.
"Hello," Hunter greeted.
"Just in case your brain can't keep up, it's me, Sebastian," Sebastian said.
"I see that. Nice. Thinking of sneaking into Crawford Country Day?"
"Considering transferring, but I couldn't really leave the Warblers here alone with you, could I?" Sebastian remarked, absentmindedly twirling his hair with his finger. "It's not a disguise, I really am apparently a girl. Go ahead, check. I dare you." Hunter declined.
"How… are you a girl?" Hunter asked.
"If you find out, let me know," Sebastian replied. "At least I'm hot. Plus now I can bang all the guys I couldn't get before."
"I'll pass," Hunter grunted. Sebastian laughed.
"That was a joke. Like I even want to think about sex in this body."
Warbler practice was awkward. They all asked stupid questions like what and why and how but Sebastian didn't know. He just glared.
"This is just adorable. Sebastian was the tallest, now she's the shortest!" Thad said.
"To be clear, I'm still a he and you may refer to me as Sebastian, or your majesty," Sebastian growled.
"Let's just get to business," Hunter sighed. "It's Nick's turn to pick the warm-up song."
"I know exactly what we're going to do today," Nick said, teasing evident in his voice. "Hit it, Beats!"
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Uptown Girl!
She's been living in her Uptown World…
By the end of the song, Sebastian was glaring at all of them.
"Duval, when I can once again see over your head, I am going to kill you," Sebastian said.
"Now who has height issues?" Nick asked, sticking out his tongue. Sebastian had always teased Nick because he was the one in their foursome under six feet.
"He's adorable. Even more miniature than Blaine!" Jeff exclaimed.
"I'll kill you all."
It was awkward at first, but eventually everyone kind of got over it. Sebastian got date offers from almost every guy in school, but shrugged most of them off. He agreed to two, but it was weird. The guys thought of him as a girl, and Sebastian just didn't.
"I, uh, I have a proposition for you," Hunter said.
"Is it going to be weird?" Sebastian replied. He was lying in bed doing homework, wearing his (Blaine's) Hummel Tires tee and a pair of pajama bottoms he'd gotten at Victoria's Secret.
"Probably," Hunter admitted. "Semi-Formal is coming up–"
"No," Sebastian said, immediately.
"Please," Hunter pouted. "You might as well go with me, Bas, you're not going to get a better offer."
"I should be offended by that statement, but I'll let it go, because I'm not going to Semi-Formal," Sebastian replied. "It's stupid. The dress alone would be an enormous waste of money."
"You're rich," Hunter pointed out.
"I don't want to go."
"Okay, how about dinner?" Hunter asked.
"No."
"I know you must be going through a hard time and I'm just trying to be your goddamn best friend!" Hunter yelled.
"Fine. I appreciate the offer, but no," Sebastian replied.
"Is that your new favorite word? No?"
"Maybe."
"One meal. Breadstix. Thursday night," Hunter asked.
"Thursday is when I watch Grey's with Nick and Jeff." And yes they did it before he was a girl.
"It's a rerun, I checked," Hunter said.
"Will it shut you up if I say yes?" Sebastian asked.
"Most likely."
"Fine. Dinner."
"Crisis situation!" Sebastian announced to Nick and Jeff. "I need something to wear on a date. Stat!"
"You agreed to a date?" Nick asked, incredulously. "I thought you said you were done with dates. Is it with Jeff?"
"Scuse me, I only have eyes for you, Nicky," Jeff retorted.
"It's not with Jeff," Sebastian said, waving away the subject. "I need a dress or something. And shoes. And so help me I think I'm getting girl-brain."
"Or Jeff-brain," Nick said. "When's the date?"
"Thursday night."
"That soon? Girlfriend, we need to hit the mall, stat!" Jeff announced, seizing Sebastian's hand and dragging him out of the room.
Thursday night had Sebastian dressed in a little black number, revealing as hell, and heels that must have been at least four inches tall, which still didn't put him anywhere near his old height.
"Wow," Hunter said, seeing his date waiting for him. Sebastian smiled nervously.
"Hi," Sebastian said. "Is it too much?"
"Um, no," Hunter said. "Just made me wish I had dress whites." Some military thing. "You look good, I feel underdressed."
"You should. I'm wearing eyeliner, for Christ's sake," Sebastian hissed. "I got waxed in places I didn't know existed. I don't know why. Jeff took me shopping."
"You look amazing," Hunter cut him off, offering him an arm. "Shall we?"
Hunter drove them into Lima. They chatted about the Warblers, well, Hunter did. Sebastian really wanted to talk about shoes. Upon entering Breadstix, Sebastian noticed Blaine and Kurt in one of the booths.
"Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Sebastian said, hiding his face and attempting to turn around and leave.
"Bas, come on, they won't recognize you," Hunter said.
"This is all on you," Sebastian said. Blaine suddenly spotted Hunter and waved at him.
"Hey, Hunter!" Blaine exclaimed. "Come over here!"
"I will kill you, swear to God," Sebastian hissed in Hunter's ear.
"Hi Blaine, Hi Kurt," Hunter said, sliding into the side of the booth opposite them. Sebastian sat beside him, holding his breath for when they recognized him.
"Hello," Kurt replied serenely.
"Who's the lovely lady?" Blaine asked.
"Oh, where are my manners?" Hunter exclaimed. "Blaine Warbler, Kurt… NotWarbler, this is my girlfriend… Sophie." Hunter was quick on his feet, thank God for that.
"Nice to meet you," Sebastian… Sophie? said, holding his hand out to shake Blaine and Kurt's.
"You too," Blaine said.
"Pleasure," Kurt said. Kurt was staring at Sebastian like he saw right through him. Sebastian fixed his dress surreptitiously.
"How's life at Dalton?" Blaine asked.
"It's good," Hunter said. "You know how it is, mostly just schoolwork and the Warblers."
"The Warblers are a full time occupation," Blaine laughed.
"Tell me about it," Hunter said, laughing as well. "Gearing up for Regionals now, still trying to decide on a set list. Nick and Jeff want one thing, Sebastian wants the opposite, the usual."
"How is the meerkat, anyway?" Kurt asked. "Haven't seen him around lately. Thought he lived at the Lima Bean."
"He's been busy," Hunter said. "The Warblers, Lacrosse, and I think someone told him there were coffee shops in Westerville." Both Blaine and Kurt laughed.
"Well, we were just finishing," Blaine said. "Enjoy your date." He tried to wink at Hunter, and failed. "Bye Hunter. Nice to meet you Sophie."
"Bye Blaine," Sebastian said, softly. Kurt was definitely looking at him funny still, but then they were gone. "By the way, girlfriend? I am no such thing."
"Well, that depends on how dinner goes, doesn't it?" Hunter asked.
"Hunter. You're straight. I'm not a girl," Sebastian said.
"I'm kidding, sheesh," Hunter said, throwing his hands up in surrender.
The non-date turned very suddenly into a date after they got back to Dalton. On the threshold of their dorm room, Hunter caught Sebastian, preventing him from entering their room, then pressed their lips together softly. It took Sebastian longer than he should have to pull away.
"You're straight, and I'm not a girl," Sebastian repeated.
"That doesn't matter to me," Hunter replied. "I'm still attracted to you."
"I'm attracted to you, too," Sebastian admitted. "But we're friends."
"Even better," Hunter said.
"No, Hunt," Sebastian said. "I appreciate the offer to cheer me up, but no. And I shouldn't have agreed to dinner, I'm sorry." He pushed passed Hunter into their room, leaving Hunter standing in the hall. After taking a few moments to compose himself, Hunter followed Sebastian into their room.
"I'm sorry," Hunter finally said. "That was over the line. I shouldn't have assumed. Please forgive me."
"Hunt, it's me," Sebastian said. "Do you forget who's in here? We're best friends."
"To that effect, then, would you please accompany me to Semi-Formal?" Hunter asked. "As best friends?"
"I will," Sebastian agreed. "Because you're my best friend, and you'd look pretty damn pathetic if you went stag."
"Ignoring that," Hunter said. "You won't regret this."
"I already do."
"Red," Nick said.
"Navy," Jeff said. "You look good in Navy."
"I look good in anything," Sebastian said. "I could be a model. Pick a freaking dress!"
"Navy," Jeff said at the same time Nick declared, "Red."
"Jesus Christ," Sebastian sighed. "Hunter?"
"Hmm?" Hunter asked from the next aisle, not really paying attention.
"Which dress?" Hunter turned around to look at his choices.
"The red," he decided. "Even though you look great in everything."
"God, with the way he talks, you'd think he'd actually forgotten I was ever a guy," Sebastian said quietly to Nick and Jeff so Hunter wouldn't hear. "It's only been… how long has it been?"
"Six weeks, I think," Jeff said. "That's a long time, Bas. Do you think you'll ever change back?"
"I don't know," Sebastian admitted.
"Do you want to?" Nick asked. Sebastian bit his lip, looking over at Hunter, who was dancing around the store to the beat of the mall radio.
"Yes."
"Breadstix, you and me, Nick and Jeff, dinner before the dance?" Hunter asked.
"Sure," Sebastian agreed. He'd been in the bathroom all day, trying to get his hair to do something. Jeff had been helping, but Nick had stolen him to get ready. "Well, that's about as good as it's gonna get. How do I look?"
"Stunning," Hunter replied, smiling.
"No, stop that. We're just friends, remember, I'm a guy?"
"Yeah, I know." But it didn't seem like he knew. Closing the gap between the two of them, Hunter brushed a stray hair from Sebastian's face. "You're beautiful."
"Thanks, you're not too bad yourself," Sebastian replied.
"Shall we?" Hunter offered his arm to Sebastian. Sebastian took it.
As was incredibly predictable, who might they run into at Breadstix, but Blaine and Kurt. Why isn't Kurt in New York? Don't know. Do they live at Breadstix now? Don't care. They didn't say much and kept to their own table, but Kurt's stare still pierced Sebastian into his very soul. There was no way he didn't know.
After dinner, Hunter held his hand for Sebastian to take, which Sebastian did, reluctantly, then pulled Hunter away so they could talk privately.
"You are my best friend, Hunter," Sebastian said. "I never want to lose you. That's why I don't want to be anything more. You're straight. I'm not a girl. When I turn back into me again, all this will go away. I don't want to cloud your judgment with my breasts, however fantastic they may be."
"Can you guarantee you'll ever be a boy again?" Hunter asked.
"No," Sebastian said. "But odds are I will eventually. And when will that be? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? They day after we get married when it's too late to change anything? You don't want to do this, Hunter."
"Tell me you don't want me as much as I want you," Hunter said. "Tell me you don't feel the same way, tell me you haven't liked me since we met." In response, Sebastian reached up and pulled Hunter's lips to his own, heatedly.
"That should answer every one of those questions," Sebastian said. "But mark my words, you'll regret it. You're straight, and I'm not a girl."
"You're my best friend," Hunter replied. "To hell with what you look like."
Semi-Formal was uneventful, unless you count several more kisses, getting awkwardly named Semi King and Queen, and the frantic rush for a hotel room.
"Wait," Sebastian said, his high heels already on the floor with Hunter's tux jacket and bowtie. "We can't do this."
"Why not?" Hunter asked.
"Because I don't know how," Sebastian mumbled.
"I do," Hunter said, reaching a finger to turn Sebastian's chin so their eyes locked. "If you want to, that is." Sebastian looked up at Hunter and let out a long breath, then nodded. Hunter leaned down to capture the other's lips slowly and sensuously, before subtly unzipping the dress, letting it fall to the floor. Hunter, the perfect gentleman, picked up Sebastian's petite frame and laid him on the bed, kissing various parts of his body at random.
"Why haven't we done that before?" Sebastian asked. "This is great!"
"Glad you liked it," Hunter panted. "You're pretty good yourself."
"Thanks, I try," Sebastian replied.
"If I asked you to be in a relationship with me, would you say no?" Hunter asked.
"What kind of relationship?" Sebastian asked. "Boyfriends? Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies?"
"Boyfriend," Hunter said. "I want to be your boyfriend."
"I want you to be my boyfriend too," Sebastian replied.
"Good," Hunter smiled. "Night Bas."
"Night Hunter."
Two weeks later, Hunter and Sebastian were going strong, the Warblers were gearing up for Regionals. Sebastian picked up his phone and looked at his text messages. Blaine. Again. Wondering where he was, how he was doing, did he want to get coffee and catch up. Sebastian sighed and texted back: I'm sure Kurt wouldn't appreciate that. No response. Sebastian shrugged it off.
That afternoon, he found out why. Halfway through Warbler practice, who should show up but one Blaine Anderson. Every Warbler was excited to see him – except Sebastian.
"Come back for another number?" Hunter teased. "I'd be happy to hand you the reins."
"Nah, not this time," Blaine said. "Gosh, it's been forever. How are all of you?"
"Even better if you were transferring back," Trent said. The Warblers laughed and eventually cleared out, leaving just Hunter, Blaine, and Sebastian, who was sincerely wishing he could disappear.
"Good to see you, Bas," Blaine said, holding out his hand. The way Blaine said the nickname never ceased to send chills down Sebastian's spine.
"How'd you know?" Sebastian asked.
"Kurt," Blaine smiled.
"Damn him," Sebastian smiled softly at Blaine. They were almost exactly the same height; Sebastian had taken to wearing heels everywhere he went. "It's good to see you too. I've changed a little, but you sure haven't."
"Yes, you have," Blaine said.
"Hunter, could you excuse us?" Sebastian asked. Hunter jumped and scurried away.
"What happened?" Blaine asked. Sebastian shrugged.
"Don't know," he said, plopping very unladylike into a couch. "It just did, you know."
"Is it different?"
"It's a little different," Sebastian admitted as Blaine sat down next to him. "I'm the only girl at an all-boys school. But at least I'm hot. A lot of things didn't change at all. I'm still the lead singer of the Warblers, somehow, still the best dancer, even in these freaking shoes." Blaine laughed. "But some things are different. I wear strappy little four inch heels all the time, just to not be the shortest person. Showers take almost three times as long with this much freaking hair. I pee sitting down. And Hunter Clarington, formerly straight as a ruler, not even remotely bicurious, ex-military man is my boyfriend."
"Nice. How did you manage that?" Blaine asked.
"To be honest, I think he forgets it's me in here," Sebastian sighed. "He says Sebastian and jokes like we're best friends, but he says girlfriend and he talks to my breasts half the time. He told me he loved me."
"And do you love him?" Blaine asked.
"Well sure," Sebastian said. "But I don't know about the future. We've been together two weeks, and I swear I heard him planning our wedding. I'm still me in here, I don't want to get married or have kids. I certainly don't want to have them like this. I'm Sebastian Smythe, hottest piece of ass to hit Dalton since, well… you, I guess, and I'll be damned if anyone's going to take that away from me."
"Talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll understand," Blaine said.
"He's straight," Sebastian said. "Fuck if I know what I am anymore."
"What will Hunter think when you're a guy again?" Blaine asked.
"He said he didn't care what I looked like, but I'm afraid to find out."
Life went on, as it has an annoying habit of doing. Regionals came and went. The Warblers won easily. It seemed like life was flying by. Three weeks until Nationals. Two. One. Four days. Two. One. They absolutely killed it. A week until graduation. Five days. Three. One. Every day Sebastian woke up, expecting to have been turned back into himself during the night, and every morning he was still distinctly feminine.
Hunter invited Sebastian to come with him to Colorado Springs. Not a word was mentioned to the Claringtons that their son's girlfriend used to be a boy.
Months passed. Hunter and Sebastian traveled to NYC to visit Kurt and Blaine over New Year's. Hunter proposed in Times Square at midnight. Sebastian accepted.
They were wed the next July, big fantastic wedding on the grounds of the mansion the Claringtons had bought for Hunter.
A year and a half, it had been since he'd woken up to find himself a woman. Most of his closet space was filled with dresses and shoes and purses and God knows what other womanish villainy. There was still that one drawer, though, the one that kept his favorite Ralph Lauren polos and Levi jeans from when he was a boy. No matter what the evidence to the contrary, he was convince he'd still need them someday.
It was three weeks since they'd been married, and they were finally out of their honeymoon phase. Sebastian stretched in bed and noticed – his feet hit the bottom of the bed. He sat up, the covers pooling around his waist and felt his body – pecs, abs – well, hello, Richard, how I missed you. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to check in the mirror.
Sebastian Smythe was once again a man. He smiled, looking over all his features, remembering each one fondly. Dancing back into the master bedroom, he opened his secret man drawer, happily pulling on boxers and Levi's and his polo shirt. It felt great, he was tall again. He grabbed socks from Hunter's closet and pulled on sneakers, intending to go for a stroll. That's when Hunter decided to come back in from his own morning run. He stopped dead upon walking into the bedroom. Sebastian cracked a wide smile.
"Good morning!" he announced happily.
"Hey, Bas," Hunter said off-handedly. "Look at you!"
"I know right? I still got it," Sebastian grinned, looking himself up and down.
"Y-yeah, you sure do," Hunter agreed half-heartedly. Sebastian picked up his tone this time.
"You–" Sebastian began, upset. "You promise me. You fucking promised, Hunter!"
"No, Sebastian, calm down, please!" Hunter begged, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around the now-taller boy. "Please."
"You promise me, Hunter Clarington. You promised you'd still love me," Sebastian cried.
"I do, Bas, I do. I promised I would and I do," Hunter vowed. "You just have to give me time. I need – I need to process." Hunter pressed his forehead against Sebastian's. Sebastian pressed his lips to Hunter's. "What will my parents think?"
"Maybe we don't tell them," Sebastian said. "Maybe we move to Pairs and live with my mom. She'd love you and I miss her a ton." Hunter kissed Sebastian again.
"Your lips are the same," Hunter smiled.
"It's going to be an adventure for both of us, Hunt," Sebastian said. "I haven't been me in over a year and a half. I have things to remember."
"I don't… I don't know when I'll be used to you like this," Hunter said. "But I will try my hardest to make it fast."
"It's okay," Sebastian said. "We're married. Anything that happens, we'll be together, right?"
"Definitely," Hunter agreed.
A/N: I realize this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but holy cow this may be the best thing I've ever written. I easily could have turned this into a 50k+ multi-chaptered fic, but meh. A few notes: Seblaine friendship is like the best thing ever. Kurt is a freaking perceptive ball of awesome. I was going to end this with Hunter freaking out and leaving, but I like happy endings, so yeah? I'm working hard to catch up on the days, I'll get all seven done eventually, then I'll get to writing more of my Shittacular Life AU. (WHY AM I SO HOOKED ON HUNTBASTIAN? I thought I was a Seblainer. D: So confused.)
Tell me what you think.
Samantha.