She had been avoiding the former Grand Enchanter.
It wasn't that she necessarily thought she had done the wrong thing. In truth, in the scheme of things, she thought it was the right thing - if you took everyone into consideration. She didn't agree with the Chantry, with the Circles, but she had to work alongside those who did. It was a compromise, and like so many compromises, it might satisfy many but in truth it pleased almost nobody. There was judgement on all sides for anything and everything she did.
A Dalish apostate leading an Inquisition ordained by the Divine, called the Herald of Andraste when she didn't even believe the woman had been Bride of the Maker - the whole set up was a mess. Of course the actions they took would never be clear.
In truth, she was uncomfortable with their direction at times, their actions, even when they were led by her - the last thing she wanted was to be questioned. To force to face her own doubts. But it had to come one day.
"I didn't expect your decision".
Still facing the books, Maiele lowered her head slightly, her whole stance attentive and listening even if she did not turn around yet.
"Of course, it is different for you. You were never in the Circle. Never imprisoned". The emphasis on that last work needled at her - exactly what she suspected Fiona had intended. "You can't imagine what it's like to have your freedom taken. To be trapped inside stone walls and watched, always watched. The Dalish respect their mages...which is why I thought you might show us some respect".
All right. That did it. She whirled round, her hands curled into fists, her eyes dark, the lines of her face tense with angry. Flushed with fury like this, the pale lines of vallaslin, the proof she had never been a Circle mage, showed up more clearly then ever.
"Do you honestly think that's why I did it? That because I don't know what it's like, I don't care, I never imagined? That I have no sympathy for your cause? I've always known, and feared, the fate that would have befallen me if Templars had taken me? I might not know but I can guess. I had sympathy for your cause. More sympathy than you know".
"So why conscript us? Like slaves! This alliance is no better than what Tevinter offered us!"
"And it's precisely because you took what they offered that I had to do this! The Inquisition is here to rebuild order! That is our remit, our goal, that is the only thing binding us together. We want to fix things - everyone here has a different idea of how! There's no plan, only compromise. I can't afford to be too idealistic, too favour one group too highly over another. And I've seen what your vision cost people. Mage freedom - you voted without a care for how normal people felt. How fearful people were after Kirkwall. I travelled the Free Marches. People were whispering of Meredith's cruelty, the midnight raids, the civilians caught in the crossfire. People were sorry for mages - and one of them ruined it all by demonstrating why it is they keep the likes us locked up! I might not agree with Vivienne but she had a point - Thedas feared mages and you demanded that sanctions be lifted, you demonstrated how you care for your freedom over all things! And you - you did it again! You allied with Tevinter!"
"I did what I had to!"
"You did what you chose to! You demonstrated you'll prize the freedom of mages over all things! Over the safety of everyone else, anyone else, that you will ally with an enemy people fear if it means you can be free! I know why you did it - I know why you made that choice. But it was a choice, and it made you the enemy of Ferelden. I could not invite the mages in as allies without souring the Inquisition's relationship with Ferelden and the Chantry further then it already was! If I cared nothing for the cause of mages, I could have gone to the Templars. I came for the mages, and I was too late. You had made your choice and I had to make mine taking your action into consideration. I have given you safety, you are protected by the Inquisition banner this way. What will happen afterward I cannot say. But I know you took Alexius' barbed offer, knowing yourself it was a poor choice, and I in return had to make a decision that reflected that. That did not condone your rebellion too much lest I sour Inquisition relations further".
She was hot, her voice was anger, they spoke in hushed tones but the force of each word had still been clear. It was a conversation she had been rehearsing, knowing it would come - yet she had said nothing of what she had planned. Too much emotion. Hot-headed - red-headed, after all. Her Keeper had told her she must learn to cool her emotions, to temper her heart so she could act fairly and rationally - it was a lesson poorly learned. She had not been ready to lead a Clan yet, so how could she be ready to lead an Inquisition? Fiona had riled her temper and she had misspoke, she knew it - but words cannot be taken back.
Unless you're a spirit trapped in this world. Sadly she did not share Cole's ability to be forgotten.
The two glared at one another for a long moment, like two cats, hackles raised staring each other down, waiting for one to back off - but they both acquiesced in the same second, both looked away, their shoulders dropping, fury replaced with resignation which crept over them as their postures slumped.
"I made the best of a bad situation".
"As did I".
A beat of silence.
"If I have a say in the future, after the Breach is healed...I will speak for the Mages. And I hope my word will be heeded. I will support more freedom. But I have to work with many parties, not just you. I cannot always be guided by my ideals. We all have to work together".
"So you say. Let us hope others are willing to compromise, and it will not be my people who make the sacrifices every time".
As Fiona walked away, Maiele sighed. If only the Mark was as helpful for the breaches among her ranks as it was those in the Fade.