Paradise
Kagome rolled around her small cot so uncomfortably. Pulling the blanket Sango made her for her birthday around her tighter, her mind forced her to replay the events of the day. She just wanted to forget.
Tears had long since started to fall down her cheeks, making her face red and puffy.
"Damn you Inuyasha!" Kagome muttered, finally rolling on her back to rest. The ominous day that Kagome had for so long dreaded, came way too quickly. It was just like a nightmare.
Inuyasha was made to choose between Kagome and Kikyo.
He chose Kikyo.
A feeling inside left Kagome to know that he would always chose this path, but that didn't stop the small hope she dangled. It was this hope that had kept her by his side for over two years since she reawakened him. Questions floated in her mind, and she could feel herself trembling.
How had he so easily chosen between?
Did he feel nothing AT ALL for her?
Kagome's mind laughed bitterly. She knew she was a strong human- not nearly as strong as Miroku or Sango, but strong enough. Then why was she not strong enough to let her heart go?
To simply finish the jewel and return to her time?
Why couldn't she just be as cold as Inuyasha? Or as bitter as Kikyo? It would make life easier, and she would never get hurt again. Kagome sobered up long enough to realize that she NEVER wanted to be like Kikyo. Images of how Inuyasha's face filled her mind. He had not even looked her straight in the eye when he rejected her.
Fresh tears burst up, and she curled into a little ball.
Why did she still care for Inuyasha, even if he had broken her heard into more shards than there were left of the jewel? Why did he have to be so cruel to her?
Why did she still love him?
Kagome's eyes fluttered open, only to revile light was shining in her eyes. A bird chirped off to her right somewhere, and she could here Sango discussing something with Miroku. Her body felt numb, and she felt like she wasn't even alive.
A bit of humor had struck her; she hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep.
She had truly fallen asleep with tears in her eyes. She would have never guessed that Inuyasha would push her to actually do that. The name Inuyasha made her freeze. She didn't feel she had the strength to cry.
Standing up, she changed silently.
Walking out of the hut, no emotion showed on her face. She stood in a stupor, and didn't even respond when her companions gave her half-hearted 'Good Morning's.'
Nothing about this morning was good, everyone realized that.
Kagome didn't have to look around to know that Inuyasha wasn't there. He tended to cower off when things he couldn't handle presented themselves. A 'morning-after-betrayal' was one such situation.
Kagome's eyes filled with tears, and she tried very hard not to drop to her knee's and cry. Kagome tried to get her mind off of the heart-breaking train of thought.
"It's such a beautiful morning, no?" She started, looking at the sky. "The sun is shining, and you can tell summer is coming very soon. The warm breeze is rolling in from the south, and the rainy season has finally stopped-"
A tear left Sango's cheek as her friend ranted about the weather. Kagome's voice would crack every-so-often, and she looked like she was in so much pain to just be standing.
Everyone knew Kagome had cried herself to sleep the night before.
Sango had witnessed how Inuyasha had dropped Kagome like a bag of rocks, and left her bleeding heart to wither away to nothing. When Kagome had walked out of the hut that morning... it looked like a part of Kagome had died.
"Kagome-chan, would you like to take a bath with me?" She asked softly, putting an arm around her broken friend, trying to calm her, and get her off her rant. Kagome, against the odds, gave a soft smile.
"Of course, Sango-chan."
Inuyasha sat in the god tree.
His stomach grumbled slightly, but he was far to humiliated to go to Kaede's. He knew how the humans, and Shippo, would react to him.
They would glare at him, and snarl at him.
He knew the full length of his actions when he chose Kikyo the day before. For once he wished Kagome would just run away back to her time, and leave forever. It would be easier for him that way.
His mind bitterly wondered what the hell he thought he was doing.
Hurting Kagome like that was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life. To not even glance at her, he was sure he heard her heart break. The salt smell of her tears filled his nose, and he had not been able to sleep.
His heart broke when he put his arm around Kikyo, proclaiming he loved her forever. What a lie. What a straight out lie.
A warm breeze rustled leaves through the sky and they past Inuyasha's vision. Sakura blossoms were blooming, and he knew that Kagome loved the Sakura blossoms of the feudal era. He could see her smiling and telling him, "Inuyasha, all the blossoms in my time are not natural, they are breed to last longer, and it just ruins the whole point of the festivals. I love the feudal era blossoms!" God- All he could think about was Kagome.
"I have to be Cruel to be Kind." He whispered to himself, trying to convince himself that what he had done was right.
"Just keep telling yourself that." The voice of a certain monk called up to him. His voice held a hated tone Inuyasha had never heard. A tear pricked Inuyasha's eyes, and he found himself staring at a very pissed monk.
"Like you even know what your fucking talking about!" Inuyasha snarled, the threat behind his words dissipating when his voice cracked.Kagome nuzzled her head into her knee's and silently inhaled the warm, musty air of the bath's. Sango and herself had been sitting silently, watching Shippo making bubbles happily. Shippo didn't even know what happened.
"Kagome?" Sango finally asked, breaking the silence with her cracking voice.
"H-hai?"
"Are you alright?" Sango knew very well the question was stupid, even before it had left her lips, but she really couldn't think of what else to say. Kagome noticed this nervous edge and she tried to smile for Sango.
A smile showed she was alright.
"No, I don't think I am."
Sango looked into her eyes. A sudden change in emotion surprised Kagome. Instead of pity and sorrow, Sango looked angry, and ready for revenge. "Inuyasha never deserved you!" Sango yelled.
Kagome sat silently, before muttering, "Than why do I still love him?"
Sango's eyes softened. Shippo looked at her.
"What is wrong momma?" He asked, paddling over to hug Kagome's naked body. Kagome hugged Shippo as if her life depended on it. Tears fell down her cheeks, and sobs once again raked her body.
Sango had to look away, because she felt her own heart break at the sound of her best friend's heart dying. How could that bastard have done this to her? She loved him to death, and he chose the corpse!
Kagome had helped Sango through so many times, she had even stuck by her when she stole Inuyasha's sword to get Kohaku back. What had happened to the Kagome that had always brought ease to her heart?
The Kagome who now sat before her now, sobbing loudly... was not who Kagome was. "Damn You Inuyasha!" Sango cried, diving to hug Kagome.
Miroku stood looking at the angry, and obviously close to tears half-demon. He would have pitied Inuyasha had he not been so angry at him.
"How could you do that to her? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO KAGOME!" Miroku yelled, his voice losing it when he remembered what Kagome's eyes had looked like that morning.
He knew that his lover, Sango, was off somewhere trying to calm Kagome. And well she did that he was going to make Inuyasha regret his decision more than anything.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Inuyasha bit again, his fists clenching. He glared at the monk, his teeth clenched also.
"I don't know what you filthy mutt! That you chose a fucking clay pot over a girl who loves you more than anything! That you broke Kagome's heart, and betrayed her WORSE than when you were betrayed!"
Inuyasha's glare faltered.
"Look what you have done Inuyasha! You broke her! Are you happy now? Are you?" Miroku was so angry with him by this point, he continued without giving time to speak.
"Why did you do it? Was she always just a game to you? Just some bitch that you could toy around with and play with? After you played with her a little, you could always just dump her down the well and be rid of her, right? I'm right am I not? ARENT I RIGHT YOU FUCKING BASTARD?" Miroku finally spat. He stepped towards the tree and gave Inuyasha a hateful glare.
"I DID IT BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HER!" Inuyasha finally boomed, louder than he had intended. He jumped down the tree and stood before the monk. Miroku looked surprised, but held his footing.
"I can't be with Kagome! I have too many promises to fulfill with Kikyo! Do you have any idea how hard it was too straight out lie like that to the one I love the most? I had to pretty much tell Kagome I hated her, when all's I ever wanted was to make her smile, and be with her!"
Inuyasha's face was full of so many emotions that Miroku took a small step back. He could see Kagome and Sango walking down the path behind Inuyasha, but he seemed to passionate about his rant to even notice.
"I love Kagome more than life itself but I can be with her! Kikyo came first and she DIED because of me. I've wanted to be with Kagome before you and Sango even came into the fucking picture! And I never, NEVER, wanted to hurt her, but if she kept thinking she had a chance, I would love her more, and when the actual judgement day came, the blow would be worse than now!"
Kagome stared at the back of Inuyasha, her tears had dried up. Did he know she was there? She doubted it because he just continued ranting at Miroku.
"You will never fucking even begin to understand why I did it-"
"But now Kagome does." Miroku finished for him, making Inuyasha freeze.
Very slowly he turned around and froze when he saw Kagome, Shippo, and Sango staring at him. Kagome wasn't crying, and that he was glad for.
He stared into her gray-blue eyes for what seemed forever, both of their hurt shown like open wounds. Finally, Inuyasha did the only thing he felt was right. In three long strides he came up to Kagome, and put his arms around her, holding her like she was his lifeline.
Surprisingly- Kagome did the same.
They stayed like that for a very, very long time.
Miroku and Sango had left, taking a curious Shippo with them back to camp. Kagome and Inuyasha had fallen to their knees and they both cried silent tears. To some it would have been a strangely beautiful thing, to other's a very odd picture.
A hanyou boy and a human girl hugging each other like something in them would die if they let go. A small rain began to fall, more of a mist as the sun fell beyond the horizon. Summer bugs chirped for the first time since last summery, and the waning moon showed in the sky.
Kagome was the first to talk, her speech surprisingly soft and steady.
"I can't stop loving you. I just can't."
Inuyasha kissed the top of her head, before standing and pulling her arms off of him. She looked at her hands silently.
"I must be cruel to be kind. I have my promise, and you have yours."
:Once upon a year gone by, she saw herself give in, Every time she closed her eyes she saw what could have been...: