Who was she? This girl-no, women staring at me with those heavily lidded violet eyes tinged with madness? Not my sister, that was for sure. In that moment, she was much of a stranger to me as Andromeda had become, pulled from us by her respect for those muggle-borns. Bellatrix smirked down at me, her wild beauty somehow contradicting with the cruelty in her eyes, and I felt the urge to look away, get away while I could.
"Narcissa…" she drawled, hissing out my name like a snake. "Why so silent? Shouldn't you be pleased? It is such an honor." She gently caressed her left forearm, a gesture that almost made me gag. An honor. Is that what she thought? Truly, is that what she thought? She looked at me, expecting an answer. I gulped.
"I don't- I mean- how-how long?" I looked down, ashamed of my- what? I did not know. Bellatrix could do that, make you feel ashamed of anything, some small weakness of which you knew not.
"How long, Cissy? You really want to know?" did I? "Well then….since my first year. That was when he began training me."
"So long?" before I was in school, even. That's a strange thought. Now I knew where she had been all those empty nights.
"Does that bother you, Cissy?" she smirks, and I silently shake my head. "And what about you dear sister? I'm sure Lucius would require a certain amount of…involvement from his wife in his chosen cause."
"If I am to become his wife, it will be because mother says so."
"Always the dutiful daughter, Narcissa." She leers, and I refrain from saying that she too, would wed the Lestrange boy-or any other from a 'respectable' pure blood family, if mother willed it.
" Making a good pure blood marriage is a first duty of a Black, Bellatrix. You know that."
" I know that I know that. But that's not what I was asking now, was it. What about you, is what I said. Will you be joining the cause anytime soon?" she smirks at me like she already knew the answer.
"No, not me."
"Why ever not? Perhaps you are going the same way as dear Andromeda…." She murmurs her name like a forbidden pleasure, and its with a shudder that I think of my other sister, asleep in her room, unaware of the multitude of secrets Bellatrix knew.
" You know I'm not. You know I'd never communicate with a-a mudblood, but I'd never join. If Lucius and I are to be wed, I will support him in whatever cause he joins. It if it is this, fine. But it is none of my business what he-or you does."
"You are such a good girl, Narcissa. Such a good, obedient girl." That should have been a compliment, would have been if coming from someone else, but it wasn't. Not from Bellatrix, who had never been 'a good, obedient daughter.', Who had defied my parents at every turn, But still, I knew that with her to, like with me loyalty toward the Blacks would take the precedent. Because that is the rule.
"I see, Narcissa. You will be a good society wife, but that's not what I want. I will not sit at home waiting for my husband. I will be out there-fighting for what I believe in." her voice is strong, her eyes bright. I believe her. She knows what she wants. She's not afraid to get it. And she is so confident, so powerful. I know that she will get what she wants. But I know that I will too. Like my sister, I know what I want. I know how to get it, and how to keep it, because it is what I have been working towards it my whole life. I will wed Lucius, and I know that I will grow to love him, and he will love me. If he chooses to serve the Dark Lord, then it is not my business, but I shall assist him in every way I can. We will have children, because it is our duty to carry on the line. One day, our child will go to Hogwarts, and doubtlessly follow his father in the cause. I know that my decision in that will not matter. I will be a good wife to him, a good mother to our child. He is rich, and so am I. doubtlessly, we shall live in a big house, with servants that obey my command, and much money at my disposal. I will be beautiful, powerful, with a family I love and a world that respects me. That is what I want. And I will get it, I must get it. That is the only way for me to rise, to be listened to, to be in command. Nothing can hold me back from my dream, not even Bellatrix, with her dark passions and powerful dark magic. I raise my chin at my sister, gracefully arching my eyebrows.
"I shall be a good wife, Bellatrix." I hear coolness in my voice, unfamiliar. If I am to be the wife of such an important person, I shall learn to control my feelings, to be above reproach. Because everybody shall be watching us and that is the way I want it.
"I do not doubt it." She says. Her long fingers caress her arm, sighing with pleasure at the mark on her skin, a mark that ties her to him as strongly as her bloodrite ties her to us. She is his now, I think with a slight pang. "I do not doubt it." She repeats her gaze boring into me.
"You have no reason to doubt it." I say, somewhat harshly. She does not answer, just nods absentmindedly. Her mind is not on me anymore, if it in fact ever was. She is at the window, gazing into the weak moonlight, her face illuminated, radiant with joy. She will go out this night, I am sure. To kill, spy torture, whatever it is He wants her to do. Andromeda will be out with that mudblood. And I will be there alone, as I always have been. I better get used to it. I think, as I silently leave my sister to her fantasy's. I shall always be alone. That is the way it must be. I roll back my shoulders and smooth my hair, take a deep breath. I am ready for whatever awaits me.