Oh my, I really shouldn't be posting a new story so soon but, this is a oneshot collection for SasuNaru goodness! So I'm allowed to do that, right? RIGHT! Onwards then! Ahem, welcome to my first SasuNaru oneshot collection. After a lot of thought, I've decided to make this collection feature both freestanding and oneshots for the Akatsuki Cosplay Cafe Universe. So if you haven't read ACC, I recommend you read it only because I feel like you have a good life ;D. But if you decide to read my oneshots on the side, I don't think you'll get too confused, honestly. Like this chapter, for instance. I'll warn you if you should read ACC or not ;D. But that should never stop you from reading it anyways 8D.

I am open for requests whether they are freestanding or not. I'll write freestanding SasuNaru and any oneshot you want from the pairings in the ACC Universe. So don't be shy ;D Send in a plot and I'll show you some looove 8D. Either PM me or leave it in a review, please!

Now then, on to the important stuff-fa-fa!

Pairing(s): SasuNaru (main) ItaixHidan (side) - they're the only two to make their appearance in this shot if I remembered correctly ;D

Background info: Just something from the ACC Universe. You don't really have to read ACC but you can! You won't be confused if you don't though. A cute and furry little member decides to enter into Sasuke's and Naruto's lives one day... ;). Oh the mayhem!

Warning: Some smutty goodness, though I'm such a tease ;).

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

Enjoy :)

The Cosplay Conspiracy

Puppy Eyes

"Pleeease!"

"No means no Naruto. What part of that are you not comprehending?"

"The 'no' part obviously!" Naruto replied in a matter-of-fact way. "Come on! It's adorable! You know you wanna keep it."

Sasuke frowned considerably when said 'adorable creature' was shoved right in his face. A small, chocolate brown lab they had happened to pass by in a cardboard box Naruto insisted they had to bring home. When the blonde wanted to he could be one hell of a debater. And that's why Sasuke was finding it harder and harder to say no to his lover...

"I know I want that thing as far away from me as—ACHOO!" Did you know Sasuke has dog allergies? Yeah, go figure.

"Eew! Don't sneeze on the puppy, you jerk!" Naruto berated, narrowing his blue orbs towards the sniveling raven before softening them to look at his soon-to-be-in-his-dreams puppy. "I'm sorry Sasuke is such a big, ol' meanie! He's normally a lot better than this. Who's a cute little puppy?" Naruto's eyes were beaming with adoration as he lifted the small puppy in the air, laughing as the dog barked happily and wagged its stubby little tail in the air. "You are! That's right! You are!"

"That baby talk is annoying, Naruto." Sasuke sniffed, glaring at the obnoxiously cute puppy that was barking up a storm in Naruto's arms. Great, a yapper. Sasuke could already see where this situation would be heading if he actually relented and let Naruto have his way... again. 'A lot of sleepless nights ahead...' Sasuke thought with a shudder. "Drop the beast and let's get to work. You know what Itachi's going to do with your pay if we're late... again."

Naruto pouted, shooting the raven a stare that meant: 'Try and make me'. "You know I'll never understand why I'm the one in trouble every time we get in deep shit together." It sucks even more that when Sasuke gets in trouble for something it's Naruto that ultimately pays. Hmm... is that Naruto bashing going on? Nah, that would never happen in the cafe. Of course not... pffft.

Moving right along, then.

"It's because you're an easier target to attack." and you being the manager's younger brother automatically takes you off the map, Sasuke? Hm, who would have thought? "Oh don't pout like that. You're face will freeze that way." and speaking of freezing...

"Oi! Bastard! Don't go snapping my picture like that!" if Naruto didn't have a cute little puppy cradled in his arms at the moment he would have lunged for the camera. Instead he settled on a nice glare followed by a sad attempt of giving Sasuke the bird. Ahhh... failure.

"You were cute. I took advantage." Sasuke smirked like he was the king of the world. Which he was, in a sense. Naruto's position was really too cute. He was crouched on the ground with the puppy in his arms and his blonde bangs framing his face. His hair had grown longer over time and now it was becoming about as long as his father's, Sasuke noticed. 'His dad does have some nice hair...' his inner pervert smirked, 'Can't wait to run my fingers through all of that when Naruto grows his hair out.' has it been mentioned yet that Sasuke has a hair fetish? Oh my, we're learning new things as we go along!

"I hate you, Sasuke."

"Don't lie in front of the beast, Naruto." Sasuke deadpanned.

"It is not a beast! It is an adorable creature waiting to be loved by the right person! And we're bringing him to work with us."

"Sounds good," Sasuke replied instantly, to the surprise of Naruto. The raven could clearly see the shock written out on Naruto's face and it was so entertaining to watch...

"Y-You mean it?" Naruto asked somewhat hopefully, thought there was doubt hidden in his tone. "You're not being a sarcastic prick are you?"

"Of course not." The raven mocked pouted, pretended to be offended that Naruto would think so less of him.

Naruto beamed like a child on Christmas and ran for Sasuke, wrapping one arm around his neck and planting a sort kiss on his lips. Screw it that they were in the middle of Tokyo surrounded by a sea of people. All Naruto cared about was the fluttering feeling building up in the pit of his stomach. And, oh yeah, the puppy.

"Oh I knew you'd see it my way, Teme! It was only a matter of time!" Naruto pulled back with a wacky grin on his face, bouncing on the balls of his feet. The puppy in his arms barked appreciatively. "Now all we need is a name for it..."

"How about, 'Lunch'?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly, though on the inside he was laughing like a mad hyena.

"That's original but nah, Lunch sounds way too—wait, what?" Naruto whirled around and shot an accusing glare Sasuke's way. A glare Sasuke easily shot down with a mighty smirk.

"Well I thought it'd be appropriate since we'll be bringing him to the cafe for Tobi after all. I heard he's been looking for a dog to make this special cake..." he let his voice drift off at just the right time for that hint of mystery and anxiousness. The brutal no sex for a week and possible punch to the face Sasuke was going to get from such bullying would be totally worth it because he got to see Naruto's face look so... so... comically devastating.

"Nooo! He can't eat Beebo! I won't let him!" no way would he let Tobi get his filthy little paws on his little Beebo who he had just named in the spur of the moment. At a speed that would surely put Usain Bolt to shame, Naruto dashed to the cafe in hopes he could somehow stop Tobi from eating the dog in a form of a delicious chocolate cake. How running towards the cafe rather than away from it solved the situation, Naruto didn't know. But his stupidity surely makes for a hilarious chapter to ensue.

Sasuke watched as his blonde lover disappeared into the crowd, an eyebrow raised proudly in the air. "Of all the names he could have picked, why Beebo?"

Good question, Sasuke.

+Akatsuki Cosplay Cafe: Let's Reek Havoc+

Beebo was cute, adorable, and fluffy. So at first everyone – yes, everyone even included Itachi – was cooing and playing with the-soon-to-be-maybe new addition to the family. But even cute, adorable, fuzzballs of chocolaty goodness have a dark side...

It all started when Itachi had the sudden urge to dress up as Chichi again and went for the closet. He was fully expecting to step into a world full of designer dresses and outfits that ranged form formal, to fantasy, all the way to freaking lewd. However, when he opened the door he did not drop into the rabbit hole of such a wonderland.

What he entered into was Itachi's version of Hell on Earth.

"What the fuck happened here? And... is that mongrel peeing on my gloves?"

"I'm sorry, Itachi! I thought Beebo was taking a nap!" Naruto rushed into the Cosplay closet just in time to stop Itachi from strangling the living daylights out of the 'innocent' puppy. "Come on, it was an accident! You know how puppies are. He just needs to be potty trained as all."

"What he needs is a good dose of punishment." Itachi fired back, his eyes narrowed into slits as he promised death ten thousand fold on his blonde worker and that infernal puppy of his. Sure, at first he was all for having the puppy in the cafe. The customers ate it up, it was adorable, and well... how could you say no to those big, black, eyes? All initial feelings of 'oos' and 'awws' were flushed down the toilet though when he eyed his favorite dress now scattered pieces of fabric...

"He ate my dress!"

If Naruto wasn't terrified right now, fearing both his life and his puppy's, he would have made a very snide comment on Itachi admitting he owned a dress. Oh no. He was smart enough to know when there was a time to give lip, and when there was a time to be a timid mouse and hope the angry cat gets bored with you and leaves you alone. Sadly, this angry cat was going to get compensation for all the designer dresses he lost one way or another...

"I'm sorry, Itachi! Don't eat Beebo! I heard dogs were bad for your indigestion and I know how much you value your figure – by the way it looks very nice today—"

"Thank you. New skinny jeans." Itachi added in, rather proud that this was the tenth compliment on his figure today. Though it did nothing to quench the burning anger in the pool of his stomach. If Itachi wasn't the man he was, he'd probably be on his knees right now gripping on the shattered remains of his dress, crying.

But Itachi has balls, so he cries on the inside...

"-Right! Very sexy." Naruto nodded, hoping by the smirk on Itachi's face that he and Beebo would be home free. Yeaaah... no such thing.

"You know all your shameless flattery isn't going to save you from your punishment, correct?"

The blonde hung his head with a sigh, "Yeah..." he replied sadly.

Beebo happily barked. Man these people were funny...

+Akatsuki Cosplay Cafe: Punishment and Laughter+

"You look..."

"Don't say it or I swear I'm going to rip your balls off, Teme!"

Sasuke sighed and flicked Naruto on the back of the head. "I was going to say you look nice. But now I'm thinking about taking it back."

"Ow! First of all, you didn't have to flick me!" Naruto shot a glare towards his boyfriend, who blew it off with a scoff like his pain didn't matter. What a prick! "And second of all how the hell can you think I look nice when I'm barely wearing anything at all—Hey! Don't pull the string!"

The 'string' Naruto was referring to was the string on the robe he had managed to slip on when Itachi didn't have his predator hawk eyes on him. And by 'wearing nothing at all' Naruto meant that as punishment he was forced to wear very thin underwear that left little the imagination, along with nipple clamps – because Hidan had suggested those. He was barely dealing with the odd sensation of constant pressure always attached to his nipples, and more than once he had found himself moaning when Sasuke came to be a bastard and tug at the chain connecting the two nipple clamps together. Naruto was a trooper though! And this was all so he could keep Beebo away from the monster called Tobi.

"Oops," Sasuke replied rather innocently, tugging at Naruto's sleeve until the robe fell silently onto the floor. A lewd grin covered his face as his eyes racked over his lover's perfectly sculpted body. Sun kissed skin. A nice set of abs. And that skimpy little underwear Itachi had forced him in... 'I've gotta remember to ask Itachi to let me borrow that...'

For yourself or for Naruto, Sasuke?

"Bastard!" Naruto screamed, desperately trying to get the robe that had fallen onto the ground. But to do that he had to bend down. Which meant Sasuke got the perfect view of that nice, little ass he loved so much. And once he got a perfect view of said ass, Sasuke couldn't control himself. "Gah! S-Sasuke! What the hell d-do you think you—Oh Godd..."

The raven smirked like the little devil he was and rubbed his clothed erection against Naruto's ass one more time. It slid back and forth between the blonde's ass cheeks, giving off the perfect amount of friction that led to Sasuke groaning softly. They surely couldn't have sex here and now, since sooner or later one of the Cosplay members would arrive unannounced, point out something profane, take pictures, and then ask them embarrassing questions like: "Can you do that again but in a different angle?"

"You don't know how badly I want to be inside you right now..." Sasuke gently nipped on the back of Naruto's neck, a few blonde pieces of hair tickling his nose. He kissed lower, down to his shoulder blades, before attacking the front part of Naruto's neck, sucking on the pulsing vein like a vampire. The blonde eagerly pushed back, needing the friction and the connection as much as Sasuke. For a moment, Naruto temporarily forgot how embarrassed he was having to wear such skimpy undergarments. All that mattered was hot amazing Sasuke made him, grinding against him, hands touching everywhere and mouth leaving invisible burns all over his body...

Naruto mewled loudly when Sasuke's hand finally found its way towards his groin and slipped past the thin barrier separating skin from skin contact. That naughty little hand tortured the blonde by stroking him from the base, dragging it up the weeping rod, until it reached the head and gave it a slight squeeze. He repeated the process, sometimes going slow just to hear Naruto beg for him to rub faster, and then other times he complied, only to slow down once again when he felt Naruto get closer to his much needed climax.

Their moans mingled in the air, making an almost sweet melody to anyone who was lucky enough to walk by on their... escapades. Both teens were feeling completion slowly overtaking them. Stomachs tightened and movements became more erratic as Naruto and Sasuke tried to reach that blissful pinnacle...

They were so close too...

Until Beebo came to ruin the fun.

"Hidan! I told you to catch that mongrel!"

"I'm sorry, Weasel-san! That puppy is way too fast to be normal. I'm pretty sure Blondie must have picked this one out by the Devil himself—Oh, well then. That's hot."

Here's a little recap of what happened: Itachi appointed Hidan as official dog watcher until Tobi came up with the perfect recipe to back the dog in (of course Naruto had no idea about this... and it would stay that way). Hidan would do anything to please his raven, so he said yes naturally. And at first he was doing a splendid job. Until Beebo used the one move that could just about anyone to bend to your whim and mistake you for the angel you truly weren't...

The puppy dog eyes.

"So cute..." he muttered, getting entranced by those deep pools of black.

"Arf!" Yes! You read that right. Beebo just arfed.

"Aww, aren't you so cute! This must be a gift in disguise from Jashin." Sure it is, Hidan...

"Arf, arf!" Translation: Feed me, slave!

"You hungry, boy?" can Hidan speak dog?

After that Hidan had left little Beebo by itself so he could go get it some food. Needless to say once Hidan had returned, Beebo had taken the time to reek a little... playful havoc so to speak. Unfortunately, that included taking Itachi's beloved notebook with the intentions of ripping it up to shreds.

End of recap.

"Naruto! Take this beast out of my cafe right—Well, this is a compromising sight." it seemed like everyone had to stop in the middle of their rants to make a comment on Naruto and Sasuke's situation, eh? On instinct, Itachi whipped out his cellphone and snapped a few, quick, shots before putting the cell away with a smirk. 'Front page of our new Summer catalog.' Way to plan ahead, Itachi!

"Ugh..." Naruto groaned, splattering his essence into Sasuke's hand. Yes, that's right, Naruto just came out of surprise.

"He even came, too! Damn it, I should have set this to video instead," Hidan whined, temporarily forgetting about the demon Beebo.

"Don't worry, there's a hidden security camera that probably got all the action." Itachi patted his boyfriend's shoulder with a wicked smile on his face. It seemed like he too had forgotten about Beebo.

"You're sick," Sasuke said bluntly, shaking his head as he went for a towel to wipe his hand off. Sure, it was hellishly hot to see his boyfriend come so abruptly, but he didn't dare make a comment on it. Because Naruto had a sense of pride that could easily ignite a flame to his anger if you attacked it. So, being sensible, he found it was easier to stay as far away from the blonde until he came down from his high.

"Haven't you people ever heard of knocking?" Naruto shouted, yanking on his robe in the process. "I mean, seriously, you guys have no shame! And stop taking pictures of me, Hidan!"

"Aww, you're no fun." Hidan pouted, though he sneaked in one more pic before putting his cell away.

"It's not like we wanted to walk in on you two." Itachi let him know. He didn't put away his cell phone, though, and snapped some more pictures until he was content with the amount. 'These are going on the website,' his inner demon chuckled. "By the way, who said you could wear that robe? I specifically told you that you were wearing that thong and nipple clamps all day and in no way can try to hide them." The devil raven narrowed his eyes towards the blonde and pointed towards the robe. "Off. Now."

Naruto mumbled something rather ugly under his breath as he stripped the last bit of his pride to stand almost bare to the world.

Sasuke came back with a towel in hand and a glass of Orange Juice for Naruto – the boy really did love his OJ – just in time to see Naruto being forced to take off his robe.

Smirking, Sasuke handed the glass over and said, "See? This would have never happened if you didn't bring the beast here."

"Arf, arf, arf!" Translation: Shut the fuck up, bitch!

The blonde sighed and cast a sad glance Beebo's way. Beebo was happily wagging his tail, black eyes dancing with well... puppy-like joy!

"You still wanna keep him?" can you hear the amusement radiating in Sasuke's voice?

There were a few moments of profound silence, until Naruto bent down to eye level with Beebo. A silent understanding passed between those two that no one else could ever comprehend, nor wanted to for that matter. And then... Naruto did the unpredictable.

He scooped up Beebo in his arms and flashed a cheeky smile towards his boyfriend and fellow Cosplay members.

"Yeah... I think I do."

Itachi face-palmed.

Ta da! Beebo is now a happy member of the Cosplay family and will always be there to create chaos ;D. Lmfao, this idea seriously just popped into my mind one day out of the blue. So I worked with it and well, this is what you get o.o. I hope you enjoyed my weird sense of humor ;D.

Drop a review and I'll show you some love with cookies and plushies and smutt... -coughs- o.o Moving right along then! If you have a request, do not hesitate to ask ;).

I love you all! Till next time :D.