Chapter 1

It had been four years since I had seen any of them, or talked to them. I never even answered when my best friends called. I left, and I did not talk or face them. I hurt them, and I did not want to hurt them anymore than I already had. I changed my e-mail and moved to a different state, a different country. I moved to Australia. Of course I would read the e-mails they sent, but I never replied.

Then one caught my eye, and I could not help but reread it. It said:

Adina,

It's Nikki and Whitney,

Please read this. It's about Johnathan. He was in a terrible accident. He may not make it, and he is asking that you call or come and see him. Please, he's only seventeen and he might die. You were like his sister and then you left him. He didn't trust anyone after that; he thought that it would happen every time. Please, for him, not us, but him.

Love,

Your Best Friends

Johnathan, his little brother, was in an accident and dying. He asked for me? But why? I did nothing but bring heartache and sorrow to him, why would he want to see me? I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go, because when I left it would just make it worse for all of them, but if I didn't go then I would never be able to see John again and he might die and think that I hated him.

I had to go, if I didn't then what would I stand for? They would see me as someone who didn't care if any of them lived or died. But I did, so I had to go. I left two days after receiving the e-mail. When I landed in L.A. it was seven a.m. I left the airport, and immediately bright light blinded me. I should have been prepared for this. Being the ex-girlfriend of a celebrity and all. I walked past the reporters and ignored their questions.

I had a car waiting for me and I drove to the hospital. When I got to the front door more reporters tried to get answers from me, but I ignored them. When I walked to the front desk, the nurse looked at me and smiled. "Room 1507, miss."

"Thank you." I went to the main elevators and took deep breaths, trying to remember the reason I came here. I came to show John that I stilled cared whether he lived or died, and to let them all know I still loved them, even him. The ding of the elevator alerted me that it was here, and when the doors opened I hid my face. He was on the elevator leaving. I didn't want to see him, or him to see me before I saw John.

I walked on the elevator and hit the button, and as the doors were closing he looked at me and I looked away. "Adina?" I hit the button and the doors were closed. Hopefully, he thought he was imagining things and left. When I got the fifth floor I didn't see him anywhere, which probably meant he thought he was imagining it. I walked around the corner and stopped before room 1506, his room was next door. I took a few deep breaths,

"If you think that's going to do anything, then you must be crazy." I turned and say Whitney and Nikki. "Hey."

"Hey guys!" I hugged them.

"You actually came!" Whitney said. I nodded.

"I wanted him to know that I still care about him. How is he?" They looked at one another and Nikki said,

"They're only giving him a few more days." My smile faded, and I realized what she said.

"I'm so stupid, I'm just now coming back just days before he's supposed to die."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Whitney said. "You left because you thought you had do, because you thought it was best. He does not hate you, but he lost trust in everyone after that though."

"Whit, not helping." Nikki said.

"Sorry." I sat in the chair in the waiting area, and held my face in my hands. They sat next to me, "Do you want to go and see him?" I wiped the tears away and nodded. We walked down the hallway to his room and I stopped at the door. His parents, Lily, Kevin, Jamie, Josh, and Stacy. "Hey guys, um…someone wants to see John." They all looked towards me.

"Adina?" his mom, Nicole, asked.

"Hi." She stood up and hugged me, not the greeting I expected, but I liked it. I stepped inside the room and saw John in the hospital bed. When he saw me he smiled.

"Adina!" he exclaimed. I walked to his bed and sat in the chair next to it.

"Hey John."

"I can't believe you really came."

"Well, I wanted you to know that I didn't forget you. How could I?" He laughed.

"How's Australia?"

"Warm. My family told me to tell you hello." He laughed.

"Is Brigid still…?" I laughed,

"Yes, and Tara, Anna, and Sedna are the same too." He laughed,

"I miss them. I wish they wouldn't have moved. But, I bet you liked it when you went back?"

"Well you have to remember that we are Americans, but we moved there when I was little. So I'm not a real Aussie. But yes, I loved it." His smile faded. "But I still love it here. I miss it here."

"Are you staying? Or going back?" Lily asked.

"I'm going home in a few days." Their smiles faded, and it became silent. I was happy that he wasn't there; it would make it harder for me to actually say anything.

"Have you seen him yet?" Stacy asked. I looked at her, "I'll take it as a no."

"No, I did, but I think he thinks he was imagining it, because I was getting on the elevator as he was getting off." I said.

"He loves you, he never stopped thinking about you." Kevin said, and Josh elbowed him.

"Well, I think I'm going to get something to eat. I'll be back in a bit."

"Promise?" John asked.

"Promise."

"Adina, adding to what Kevin said, Cam really does love you; it crushed him when you left." Nikki said. I didn't respond, what could I say? "Hello?"

"What?"

"Say something." Whitney encouraged.

"What do you want me to say? That I still love him and I want to stay and be together again?" They didn't respond, and we sat in silence. "Well, I do love him, and I do want to be together, but I can't…"

"Why?" Nikki asked. "The press doesn't even know that you broke up; they think that you went to Australia to help your family. That's it; they have no idea. You could easily be together again."

"But why? To have the same thing happen and break his heart again? I can't do it to him again." I stood up and threw my non-touched food away. I walked through the lobby and outside. I walked right into the someone. They helped me up and I realized who it was. Before he or I could say a word I started to walk down the sidewalk.

"Adina," he said. I didn't stop I walked down a hill and to a gazebo. He followed me to the gazebo and stood behind me. I leaned against the railing, and tried to think of what to say. He leaned against the wood railing next to me and looked at me. "Will you at least tell me what went wrong?"

"I'm here for John, not to get back together. Okay?" I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. I wished I could just give in and be his girl again, but if I did it would end up like it did last time. "Cam."

"Adina, look me in the eye and tell me you hate and you don't love me. Then I'll believe you and let you go." I couldn't do it, I could never say I hated him or I didn't love him, because I had been telling myself that for four years, and I knew that I was lying. I did love him. But I didn't want to hurt him or me again, so I had to do what he said.

I looked him in his beautiful chocolate colored eyes, "Cam, I hate you, and I…" I couldn't say it; I couldn't say I didn't love him.

"You what?"

"I…"

"You can't say it, you can't say you don't love me." He was right; I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't love him for four years, but I couldn't. I looked away from him and said,

"I do not love you."

"Look me in the eyes and say it." I bit my lip and looked him in the eyes, and said,

"Cam, I…I do…" he cut me off by kissing me. I didn't fight it, I had longed for this, and now I got what I wanted, but I didn't want this. I didn't want this to happen, but I was letting it. "Cam, stop."

"You can't convince me that you don't love me. I know that you do, and I still love you. You hurt all of us…" I shoved him away, I knew this was going to happen, he would throw it all in my face. I walked up the sidewalk, but he followed me. "Adina, you can't take it back. You cannot take back the pain and hurt you caused. You're the reason that John is here." I stopped and looked at him.

"How is it MY fault he's in here?" He laughed,

"You were like a sister to him, he looked up to you, and you left because you were scared. He didn't trust anyone, not even mom and dad. He tried to kill himself because of YOU!" I opened my mouth to say something but didn't. I turned and walked towards the parking lot. But I stopped I couldn't break the promise I made to John. I watched Cam walk into the hospital and I walked in.

I waited for him to go into the elevator before I hit the button. When I got to the fifth floor I stopped before going into the room. I heard Cam say, "I'm so sorry John, but Adina said she had to go. She told me to tell you she's sorry but it was a family thing." What! He was trying to make John think I left. What a jerk! I walked into the room and crossed my arms across my chest.

"So, I left huh?" I asked. Cam turned to look at me. "Do not be fooled John, I never left. But, Cam is a self-absorbed, back-stabbing, jerk!"

"Oh really?" Cam was standing in front of me. "Why is Adina?"

"You would lie to your brother, telling him I left to go back to Australia knowing he only has a few days left, just because we got in a fight. A good brother would not do that."

"So what are you saying?"

"I already told you."

"You couldn't even say it."

"Say what?" Nikki asked.

"Fine, you want me to?" I asked.

"Say it."

I looked at him in his eyes and said, "Cam, I do not love you." His eyes grew wide, and everyone grew silent.

"What?"

"You told me to say, and I did." His eyes became glassy, but he would never cry in front of all of them. He looked at me, and I realized I actually said it. I wiped the tears away before they could fall. "I'm sorry John, I have to go." I said and left.

I walked down the hallway and tried to keep the tears that were burning my eyes from falling. "Adina stop." Cam called after me.

"Cam just let me go. I said it, I said what you wanted me to." He grabbed my arm before I could get on the elevator.

"If you leave, don't come back. But you can stay and we can be together again." I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Don't come back." I walked into the elevator and held in the tears. When I got into my car, I cried my eyes out.

I was driven to my hotel and I went directly to my room. I cried all night, until I heard a knock at the door. I wiped my eyes and looked out the door. It was Nikki, Whitney, Lily, Jamie, and Stacy. "What do you guys want?" I asked as tears welled in my eyes.

"Adina, he didn't mean that." Nikki said and hugged me.

"Yes he did."

"Adina he loves you, and we know you love him." Lily said.

"He'd dying on the inside." Stacy added.

"He doesn't love me, he doesn't need me, and I don't need him or love him. So you can tell him that. I don't care; let him know that. I'm leaving tomorrow."