GL & Otalia are not mine, while I may wish they were (dreamy smile), sadly they are not. This has not been Beta'd and I'm British, so please make allowances.
Hidden promise
The small box lay beside her pillow, its rich red paper hinting at the depth of meaning contained within. Olivia stared at it for what must have been the one hundredth time re-considering her decision and her choice - was it too soon?
It had seemed such a good idea, she had felt inspired by their last passionate meeting, that kiss and the dark diamond incrusted night sky that had accompanied her back to the beacon, her heart aflame with possibility. But now it was here, beautifully wrapped and awaiting delivery and she was racked with self doubt. It was Natalia's birthday tomorrow, something she tended to underplay, much as Olivia did. They were both mothers and their children's birthdays had long ago taken precedence over their own, allowing them to shower another with the sincere and undemanding parental attention, they had felt lacking in their own childhoods, whilst pondering how quickly their kids seemed to be growing up.
She had considered allowing Natalia to seemingly dismiss her birthday, as she had the year before, when Rafe had been missing and then in prison. But here and now the overwhelming need to grasp this opportunity, to show her best friend just how deeply she felt about her, was just too great to ignore. Was it too soon though, to make such a grandiose expression of her intentions?
Her mobile phone rang, breaking through her inner musings and picking it up, she glanced at the caller display 'unknown caller'? Accepting the call she answered. "Olivia Spencer."
"Olivia?" a hesitant voice replied.
"Yes?" she affirmed, uncertain why anyone one would doubt that she was who she had said she was.
"Hi, I didn't know if you'd answer." The now recognisably male voice responded.
Olivia found the voice somewhat familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Who is this?"
"Rafe; I wanted to.... about last week….I wanted to apologi...apologise."
Hearing the strain and obvious embarrassment in his voice, Olivia softened. This must be way hard for him. She knew it would be for her. "Thank you, Rafe." She responded sincerely.
"I kinda... let loose at you, didn't I?"
"Kinda! Don't worry your not the first. I get it, I do, disappointment can sometimes mean we let the monster loose."
Rafe laughed shyly before adding. "Look, I know I have no right to ask but ...."
"When can you start?" Olivia responded, eager to prevent him from having to ask.
"What?"
"Which job are you going to take?" She clarified.
"I wasn't... I didn't think you'd still want to offer me a job... after...." the young man stumbled over his words, obviously surprised by Olivia's question.
"Isn't that why you called?"
"Well no... I mean, don't get me wrong, if you're still, yah know offering.....I mean I need a job, right... but that isn't why I was calling you." He trailed off.
"Oh..." Olivia mumbled suddenly very nervous.
"Olivia, you know it's like ma's birthday tomorrow...."
"Yeh....?" like she could forget.
"I was wondering if.... well I'd like to do something for ma. I was thinking a small barbeque (foods on me) and I was calling to... well invite you and Emma; as Ma never stops reminding me, you're kinda the closest thing to family, we have."
Rafe's invitation had been a revelation. It was obvious that his mother had taken steps to prepare Rafe, as she'd said she would, by instilling Emma and her in his mind as representing family and that filled her with hope. But Rafe had also apologised for his earlier behaviour. She hadn't been expecting that.
Somehow she'd always seen more of herself in Rafe than she cared to admit. She'd understood him almost from their first meeting. His desire to be accepted, to belong somewhere in the world, his anger, his outbursts, they had all been honest, her kind of honest; but it was his determination not to let others see the fear that he often felt, that had chimed with her. But hearing him apologise, something she hardly ever did, except to those that mattered or watching him with Emma, those were the very few times she really saw Natalia's influence exude from the troubled young man. This side of him, pleased her, because she knew how it would please Natalia.
Olivia had always believed that being male Rafe would be their greatest stumbling block; that telling him about them, would be the hardest thing they did. Ava and Emma didn't cause her nearly as much concern and she often wondered why. She fully expected to see shock and amusement from her eldest, she had her own scars now and her own history of broken dreams; she was relying on Ava's maturity and she knew it. Plus, she'd probably revel in the notoriety, when they went public. Now Emma, that would be a little trickier simply because she was so very much younger, choosing the right words to use and how much to explain; but she'd written 'my two mommies' and Olivia planned to use that mercilessly at every opportunity.
Bur Rafe, he represented every male ego she'd ever dashed or pampered and then deflated. He wasn't a boy anymore. Heck, he'd almost been a parent in his own right. He may be his father's son, but she didn't yet see the maturity that had given Gus so much strength and self confidence. Did he have what it would take to accept a new image of his mother, to live through the gossip and the snide comments, without ending up in prison again? She honestly didn't know and Olivia hated not knowing what was going to happen, when the thing she didn't know could affect their relationship in such a big way.
His invitation had opened possibilities, she couldn't deny that. But she'd been so wrong footed by the request that she'd omitted to ask a very important question; who else had he invited?
The farmhouse beckoned her, calling to her, as she drove, promising her the happiness that she thought she could never have, it was like an internal siren calling to her soul. She wondered at how this small brick built homestead had come to mean so much to her. It wasn't what she or anyone else that she'd ever known before Natalia, would have believed represented Olivia Spencer's ideal dream home. It wasn't high quality, extravagant, exclusive or chic; it didn't represent fine living, having made it in the world or proof that she was someone successful. If anything it played down her position as a major business woman, never mind her personal wealth; 'Who would have guessed?' But in her heart of hearts it represented the promise of a new beginning, its open hearth offering deep and welcoming warmth, the very thing that she imagined a true family home should have, but never thought she would find or deserve.
Emma's sketch of the farmhouse, was now framed and hanging opposite her desk. She often glanced at it with longing, before remembering that this was her objective, her mission, her dream and she was damn well going to make it happen, and this time without breaking or hurting anyone, this was going to be different. She had realised mostly thanks to Natalia that what she really wanted had to be earned, it couldn't be bought or stolen, it was a gift given by others. Winning this prize would be about true honesty, consideration and commitment, three things she hadn't never really been that good at.
An excited Emma wriggled with excitement in the back seat, as they pulled into the driveway, an all too familiar car catching her eye – Frank! 'Just great!' Glancing to her right she saw Rafe standing by the barbeque, the epitome off every man she'd ever known. What was it about cooking outdoors that made every male member of the human race believe it was his natural domain. But what puzzled her was why Frank wasn't there too and then she saw a figure emerge from the farmhouse – 'Yep' – Frank.
With far less eagerness than her child Olivia got out of the car and made her way towards Rafe. To her surprise Frank had walked passed Rafe, with a nod of acknowledgement and was now heading towards her. Misgivings swelled within Olivia, as he strode towards her. Steeling herself to remain polite and civil, she nodded a hello. Only to receive an uncomfortable nod in return, as Frank simply walked passed her! Her eyes followed him, until she realised that he was leaving. The sight of Frank getting into his car and closing the door, caused wonderful mixed feelings of disbelief and relief – 'maybe, for once things are starting to go my way.'
Turning back to the farmhouse, at the sound of Emma voice. Olivia watched as Rafe picked up her daughter in a friendly greeting hug, before depositing her at his side and affectionately messing with her hair. 'this could just maybe work.'
Approaching the young man, she couldn't help but ask, "Frank not staying?"
"Nah… said this was a family thing." Rafe responded, hardly meeting her eyes.
She stared at him, eager to know just what Frank had meant by that, but more importantly what Rafe thought it meant. But she couldn't risk starting the conversation that such a question would lead to. Natalia had to be the one to talk to him. Nothing that had been said the other night, had led her to believe that her dark haired beauty was ready to speak to Rafe just yet. She'd said it was about Rafe being ready, but Olivia was no fool, there was more to it than that.
Realising that Rafe was now surreptitiously staring at her, Olivia broke into a polite smile. "It was really nice of you to invite us. Emma's been excited all day, haven't you Jellybean?"
"Are you making Buzz Burgers?" Emma piped up. Whilst standing well back from the now smoking barbeque, she was still able to stand slightly on her toes and see onto it.
"Yep, well I'm gonna have a go. Frank dropped of the stuff. So I guess we'll see, I'm not Buzz – no one is." Rafe responded, his self doubt evident.
"You'll do fine." Olivia encouraged, before she realised what she was doing. "So where's your mother?"
"Inside…. chopping Onions." Rafe grinned.
Olivia laughed, sharing a conspiratorial smile. "Figures." Glancing at Emma, she nodded towards Rafe – "You… Okay here?"
Emma's enthusiastic nod allowed her to head towards the farmhouse and an opportunity that may not present itself again tonight. Slipping her hand into her jacket pocket, she fingered the small box hesitantly, wondering if she should just give Natalia the present or say something first. Sighing and casting aside her dislike of personal declarations, she set her shoulders back before heading towards the kitchen and the woman she would do anything to make happy.
The sudden darkness of the farm house caused her to push her sunglasses onto the top of her head, as she gazed at the warm living room, recalling a hundred special moments and a dozen missed opportunities that she would never forget. Halting in the doorway of the kitchen, she felt her heart skip – what was it about this woman, how could simply seeing her cause such a physical reaction or make her soul float. "Hi" she muttered quietly.
"Olivia…. Isn't this just perfect?" A bubbly pair of cinnamon eyes asked. "I can't believe he came up with this on his own."
"Yeh kinda threw me too." She smirked.
"I couldn't have asked for a better birthday surprise – all of my family here with me. I think he's finally getting to that good place." She offered hopefully.
"Talking of birthday surprises, I have a little something for you." Olivia announced, slowly extracting the small box and presenting it to Natalia. "I hope you like it."
"You shouldn't have." Natalia said slowly reaching for the box and beaming like a six year old, her dimples bursting forth to catch Olivia's breath.
Momentarily clasping Natalia's hand as it covered the box, Olivia's teal green eyes locked onto the deep barossa eyes of the woman she loved and pouring all the sincerity she felt into her gaze, she quietly added, "Yes I should…. and God willing, I always will."
"Olivia…" Natalia whispered her breath catching, as she drowned in the sea mist gaze, that often swept her away.
Glancing down at the box and their joined hands, her point hopefully made, Olivia released Natalia's hand allowing her to take her present.
"So pretty." Natalia commented, gazing at the simply wrapped box. "Should I wait and open it with the kids?"
A small jolt of panic caused Olivia to almost jump in response. "No… it's well, it's a personal present." She explained, suddenly awash with nerves.
"Oh!" Natalia responded throwing Olivia a somewhat coy smile, as she slowly unwrapped and opened the box, to reveal a white gold ring; two joined hands resting upon what looked like three bands.
Olivia searched her face, watching for a hint of recognition, or disappointment as the younger woman gently fingered the ring. Her nerves were busy doing back flips, as she waited for something, but then those questioning burnt sienna eyes lifted and she saw it – joy and disbelief wrapped in one question.
"It's a friendship ring and…. something more." Olivia informed her.
"So beautiful." Natalia breathed.
As the younger woman ran her forefinger over the two hands, joined in an obvious symbol of friendship, Olivia reached forward and removed the ring from its box, eager to show her beloved the secret that lay beneath those hands. "I wanted to give you something that would always remind you that before anything else you are my friend and that from this day onwards you will forever be the keeper of my heart." She added, as she hinged the ring, drawing apart the two outer bands and their attached hands to reveal the inner band and the small diamond heart that had been hidden beneath the symbol of friendship.
Gazing up into her Natalia's eyes Olivia didn't have to search as love poured over her, their espresso black depths shining, with the early warning of joyous tears.
Natalia gasped, "I don't know what to say?" she mumbled, reaching out to caress Olivia's cheek. "This side of you, it…. It, just well… you make me go weak at the knees…. I kinda unravel….. mushy huh?" She whispered through now weeping eyes, before glancing back at the ring and placing it without hesitation onto her only recently bare ring finger.
Olivia was completely taken aback, it hadn't even occurred to her to wonder which finger Natalia would choose to wear her ring on. Unable to stop herself from reaching out to take her lovers hand and gaze at the now snugly fitting ring, her heart pounding so loudly she almost missed Natalia's quietly spoken vow.
"Forever."