~Just a Touch~
When all the lights go out
I am left here alone
No-one there beside me
Left alone with my thoughts
I dont really know how I turned out this way.
Twisting and turning
Unable to escape
I'm a prisoner I'm a slave
I'm the executioner at my hanging
I guess it all started when they died.
My blood is on my hands
I try to put it on you
The innocent now the guilty
The murderer now goes free
My friends.
You look at me
So trusting
Do you see the lies behind the smile
The death behind the life
Everyone says it wasn't my fault, that nothing I could've done would have changed the outcome.
I just can't help but wonder....what if they're wrong?
Are you the lie
Am I the lie
Can I face the truth
Is it too much to bear
I was too weak. Perhaps, if I had been stronger, things would have been different. Someone might still be alive.
I might be dead in their place.
To replace the sacrifice
Find another
To relieve the guilt
Find forgiveness
I don't think I'd mind that. I think I'd find some consolation, to know that I had died to save them. Just one of them. But then they'd end up like me. And I don't want that. No-one should have to go through this.
I stand on the edge
Shall I fall
Hold my hand
Or jump with me
This is my burden. No-one else can carry it. Nor shall I let them. I will carry it alone. That's how it should be. How it's always been.
Alone.
You do not see the path
To me it is clear
Thus I know
I have none to trust
They try to get close to me, try to say they understand. But they do not understand. They cannot. At first I thought they could. If we tried hard enough. But I was wrong.
Shadows lengthen
I hide my face
Not in shame
But to join the night
Sometimes I miss them. Miss the freedom they have. They can smile. They can laugh. They can hold each other. They can hope for a future.
I cannot.
See the world
Through darkened eyes
Find new light
But not for myself
This is my sacrifice. So they can smile. So they can laugh. So they can hold each other. So they can hope for a future.
I have paid the price and I do not regret it. My friends gave up life for mine. I give up my liberties for theirs. It is a small price to pay. I am still alive. Perhaps beauty is hard to find.
Or hard to accept.
Reach for me
Hope for me
Sing for me
Live for me
Life is too short to have regrets. I understand that. And yet, I still regret the past. Perhaps with this sacrifice of mine, I will learn not to regret the past any longer. For I do not regret my life, now. I have given them life, happiness, freedom.
See my prison
It is my own doing
Do not try to free me
You do not deserve this fate
But sometimes, I ache. I hurt. I yearn. For that which I cannot have. That which I know they would give me, yet I cannot accept. For then the burden would be shared.
It tears me in two.
Want is insignificant
Need begins to pale
You are all that remains
I endure for you
The compulsion.
Feel my breath
Know my words
Spill my blood
Show me I yet live
For just a touch.
You wash my hands
You bring me from the edge
You destroy my prison
And why do you do this
You touch me.