'It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.'
Closing my fist, I sealed the poor unfortunate man's one ay ticket to death. Looking to the left, I sa two children running the other way, screetching and crying at the top of their lungs, a wave of empathy letting them complete their escape.
'I'm a monster. Why am I here?'
The body now in front of me was mangled, bent in ways it's not supposed to, bones jutting out, face frozen in terror, blood... blood everywhere. 'I'm killing them. I want them, but I kill them.'
"It doesn't make sense!" I yelled, liquid sorrow stinging my eyes. I couldn't understand myself, what I did, why I did it. It was as if I was just a presence in another's body, completely out of control. No matter how much I told it to stop, I kept killing and killing. Taking life, no more chanses.
The voice in my head just kept talking, no matter how much I tld it to stop, the demon kept on, kept on. It never stopped, never quieted. "Kill, kill, kill," wispers told me. 'Sadness goes away.' 'No, no, no, no, no,' whimpers replied. 'I'm sad, I'm scared, just go away.' But they wouldn't stop.
"...Mommy..." That's all I wanted. Just to be accepted, just to be normal. I was killing, deciding judgement time, playing God. I didn't want anything to do with it. The only way out of this life is...
"Death..." The pocketknife that the person had dropped seemed to be calling my name. Slowly, I walked, bent over, grabbed it. The light playing on the blade looked sisiter, speaking of unspeakable deeds, shining where nothing should be seen, blurring the reflection of my face.
Perfect.
I lunged, not taking a second to think. The pits of Hell was where my soul would lay, and that was okay, as long as I could escape. The split-second I had, my mind looked over my 6 years of life so far. Fear, uncertanty, lonelyness, sadness, rage and death were the only things I've ever known, and were the only things I saw during that span of time. It seemed to go on forever, and then...
Nothing. I looked down to see that the sand had stopped me. But of course, it always did that. I dropped the knife, and the sand dropped with it, as well as my small flash of hope.
I trudged home, not bothering to try and get off the specks of blood that had found their way to my face. This was just the way it is, and the way it will stay, and no one as going to help me through it, damned to live as I may be.
Already anticipating everyone's reactions, I didn't bother to look around me as I entered the house belonging to a very dysfunctional family. I already knew Temari and Kankuro would run to their rooms, shrinking away in fear. I already knew the disappointed look my father would throw my way, if he was even there. I already knew how the servants would try to become invisible. I just walked to me room, not bothering to notice anything.
I sat on my bed that was never slept on and thought. 'Just kill, and be happy.' It was talking again... I wish it would leave me alone. I tried to go blank, but the thought wouldn't leave. 'Just kill and be happy, hm?' ...But maybe... maybe it was worth a moment, think about it. ... Maybe it was right, though. Maybe, just maybe, if I stopped caring about the things making me sad, I could be happy. Just kill, and be happy. 'I suppose it wouldn't be so bad...'
A smile found it's way to my face. Then a laugh. Then some more, and they kept coming. I was lying on my side, laughing like a maniac. I blocked my caring, and suddenly everything was okay, and none of the other stuff mattered.
I was playing God, and that was fine with me.