A/N: This is kind of like a prologue, so the rest of the chapters will take place a while after this one.

…

Dear Diary

…

This isn't a diary. Diaries are for girls, which I am not.

This is a JOURNAL. Just something I'll use to jot my thoughts down in from time to time. It's NOT, I repeat, NOT a diary. This is a journal.

Alright, now that we've made that distinction clear, I'd also like to clarify that this wasn't even my idea. Sam- my girlfriend- suggested it.

Well, actually I lost a bet. I've got to do this for a year now.

Anyways…

Today kind of sucked, to be honest. I had to say goodbye to one of the best friends I've ever had. Not to mention, it made my girlfriend unhappy, which resulted in a really dumb bet that… well, you know.

Carly, who I've known for something like 10 years, left for college today. She doesn't have the funds to go anywhere really grand, but Carls is pretty smart. She got about half her tuition paid for so she got to go to one of her top picks, which, unfortunately for the rest of us, is in Florida. She says she's gonna go into broadcasting, but, knowing Carly, she'll have a different ambition in a few months.

It was really hard to see her go. Sam and I went to the airport with her and Sam kept blinking really fast and her eyes were glassed over, which is a really bad thing- for me, at least. An emotional Sam is a bomb waiting to go off.

Anyway, I helped her with most of her luggage, and we kept her company while she waited to check it in. We couldn't go past security and as we stood there not wanting to say goodbye, Carly completely lost it. She burst into tears and hugged us so tight I felt certain my ribs were splintering. This caused Sam to lose control as well, so I was stuck between two crying females- a guy's worst nightmare. It isn't like I wasn't totally bummed out that Carly had to go, I just focused on being happy for her instead of pitying myself. So there I was, trying to diffuse the rampant emotions of Sam and Carly, who didn't often cry in front of me, let alone in public.

I said something like, "Come on ladies, how about one more of T-Bo's smoothies?"

That only made things worse. In a matter of minutes, I was standing next to two crying, inconsolable girls, completely confused as to what I could do. After blushing under the not-so-inconspicuous glances from curious onlookers, I grabbed Sam's arm and did the only thing I could think of; I kissed her.

She was furious, of course.

"Freddie, how can you kiss me when… when Carly's LEAVING?" she cried.

I looked up, silently asking God to just kill me now, before this continues. This, however, did not happen.

Carly hugged me rather suddenly and said, "You're right, Freddie; I've got to get going. You guys have each other and you'll be happy together and…" she sniffed, "This isn't forever. I'll see you guys in a few months."

I didn't remember saying any of those things, but I nodded and squeezed her slight frame before pulling back. Sam was standing there glaring at me, and I thought to myself, UH OH.

Sam reserved her anger for about five minutes while we said our last goodbyes to Carly and left the Seattle airport. Then she began her assault.

"How could you let me lose control in front of all those people?" she screeched. "I looked so… SOFT! God, I looked so frickin' soft… I'm a marshmallow!" she concluded despairingly.

I sighed.

She scowled.

"Sam, it's not gonna kill you to have a couple of people stare." I reasoned. "We've been good friends with Carly for a long time and it's okay to be a little… soft."

Her expression remained murderous.

"Hey, I tried, okay? You wouldn't pay any attention to me. It isn't my fault!" I protested.

Sam looked slightly less angry and, oddly, kind of disappointed.

"I can't believe you weren't upset. She was our BEST FRIEND, Freddie, and you just stood there", she mumbled.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed again.

"I'm just better at controlling my emotions, I guess. And I don't cry."

I glanced at her expression and recalled a few instances where my face might have been described as "tearful".

"Well, not unless something really BAD has happened. Carly's going off to college, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I mean, it sucks that we aren't all together, but we'll see her soon."

Now Sam had an evil glint in her eyes and a mischievous smile on her face.

"I bet I can get those tear ducts a-flowing."

I groaned.

"I thought we weren't doing bets any more."

"That was for Carly's sake."

"Fine. Terms?"

"If you're eyes leak before 8:00 tonight, I win and you have to… journal your FEELINGS for a year. If not… I don't know… what do you want?"

I shrugged.

"I dunno. A kiss?"

She nodded.

"If you manage to not cry, I will kiss you like you've never been kissed before."

She stuck out her hand, and the deal was made.

Throughout the day, she tried her best to make me cry, making me watch sad movies and chop onions. Finally, around 7:45, it looked like she'd given up. I suppose it's my fault for letting my guard down.

I was sprawled out on the couch, reading, and Sam strolled over next to me. She was shifting back and forth on her feet and I finally looked back at her.

"Can I help you?" I asked irritably.

And then Sam sprayed me with Mace.

I started yelling obscenities and my tear ducts worked furiously to clean the horrible stuff out of my eyes so I could see again.

"HA! I won!" Sam yelled triumphantly.

I tried to glare at her, but my eyes were stinging so bad, I couldn't.

Still, I suppose it wasn't all bad.

Sam gave me a bright pink notebook with the word "DIARY" on the front on girly writing. I told her I'd use one of my own choosing, as that wasn't part of the bet.

She then reminded me that my eyes leaked, but I did not exactly cry, so I was entitled to one unforgettable kiss. And it was definitely was unforgettable. It was more of a make out session than a kiss, but damn, it was amazing. It confounds me how someone like Sam would ever go out with me. I am a very plain guy with boring brown hair and brown eyes, not particularly tall or muscular in any way. Complately unremarkable.

Sam, on the other hand, is the most beautiful creature to walk the earth. Her hair is like a snowy gold, rather light in color, but also rich and precious. It falls in long, thick curls that are softer than down. Her body- Oh God. It's amazing. She's got curves in all the right places and she fits just right against me. But I haven't even gotten to her eyes. They are the most extraordinary shade of blue. It reminds me of the ocean, not the deep teal of the open water, but the foamy grey-blue of the waves crashing down. Her eyes are both sky and sea, and I never get tired of looking at them. This may sound sappy, but they say the eyes are a window to the soul, and with Sam I can understand that. By looking into her eyes, I can always gauge her feelings, what she really wants and needs from me. I think it's made me a better boyfriend.

Those damn blue eyes, the woman in them, that's the only thing I know I would fight for. Sam is the love of my life. I never want to say goodbye to her, and I will fight like hell to make sure I never have to.