Disclaimer: I own the character of Grace; all other characters are owned my DPB and Paramount.

Summary: After Kate's death, Tony feels so alone, but when Gibbs shows up with some mysterious documents, it puts Tony into a spin. What was Kate hiding from the rest of her team? And why would she risk everything for the sake of her secret?

"With Grace"

Chapter One

Tony reached into the fridge for another beer, just one more, he thought, maybe one more would drown his sorrows, maybe make it all seem clearer.

It was a week since Kate died. A week since he lost her. He was confused, he never knew he felt this way about her, until it was too late. Maybe it's like that old saying, "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

Tony headed back to the darkened lounge room, beer in hand, and was just about to sit down when he heard a knock at the door.

Tony dragged himself over to the door, looking through the peephole, Great, someone else to check up on me, he thought with a sigh.

With beer in hand, Tony unlatched the heavy wooden door and swung it open, "I don't need your sympathies Gibbs, I'm fine."

"You look like crap, DiNozzo."

Tony raised an eyebrow, "Gee, thanks a bunch boss."

"I'm not here to offer sympathies DiNozzo. You gonna let me in?" Tony hesitated for a split second before shuffling aside to let Gibbs in. The older man entered, looking at Tony's apartment, up and down. He eyed off the photos on the mantle place, photos of Tony's family members, he guessed. "Nice place," Gibbs offered, while Tony headed to the dark lounge room and plonked down on the sofa with his beer.

"What do you want boss?" he asked, before taking another swig of his beer.

Gibbs walked up to Tony, flicking on the light switch on the wall. Tony grunted and shaded his eyes, "Did you have to do that? I was enjoying the darkness."

Tony squinted before lifting the beer bottle towards his mouth. Gibbs took it off him and placed it on the coffee table.

"You've had enough."

Tony groggily shook his head, "Don't you tell me when I've had enough. You can't control everyone's lives, ya know boss?"

"How are you holding up DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

Tony grunted, "What are you, my shrink? I've had enough of those."

Gibbs nodded, "Yeah, we all have, but now I'm asking you."

Tony sighed. The truth was, he wasn't great. There was this feeling inside of him, a squeezing, like someone had a vice-grip on his heart, squeezing every ounce of energy out of it. But the alcohol helped with that. What it couldn't help with was that feeling of loneliness Tony had in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that nothing will be right again.

Tony shrugged, "I'll be okay, boss." Gibbs nodded; he knew it would take a long time for everything to be okay again, but Tony's friends were there for him. He just needed reminding of that.

Gibbs perched himself on the armrest of a chair, before reaching into his pocket and drawing out a piece of paper.

Gibbs cleared his throat, "Tony, before Kate died, she gave me this, she wanted you to have it." He held a white envelope in his hands, before handing it to Tony.

Tony looked at Gibbs, "What is it?"

Gibbs didn't answer, instead he got up off the chair and turned to exit the room, "I'll leave you alone to read it. Now, where do you keep the coffee?" Tony pointed towards the kitchen cupboards as Gibbs went off to find a caffeine hit.

Tony sat down in his chair, turning the envelope over. It had a single word on it, Tony, written in Kate's neat handwriting. He couldn't open it, the memories flooded in, her smile, the sound of her laughter. Oh God he missed her.

Tony carefully opened the envelope, making sure not to damage its contents. There was a letter inside, beautiful paper rimmed with flowers and butterflies. Tony smiled, That's so like Kate… he thought, as he directed his eyes towards the top of the paper. It was dated a few weeks before she died, when Tony himself nearly died from pneumonic plague. He directed his eyes towards the top of the page…

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Tony,

I wanted you to have this if anything ever happened to me, so I guess that's why you're reading this, hey? I gave it to Gibbs because I knew it would be safe with him…

There are so many things that I wish I could say to you, but I'm confused. The way I feel about you, I've never felt about anyone else. Sure you can be a real bastard sometimes, but I can't help it. I love you Tony. I don't know if you love me, but I want you to know that I'll always stand by you, no matter what.

Just promise me something Tony? That you will stick by Gibbs and the team, and lay off McGee a bit will you? He's trying his best. Make sure you take care of Gibbs; he's not as tough as he makes out to be. Listen to Ducky's stories; he's a wise man. And Abby, look after her, and make sure she lays off the Caff-Pow a bit!

Oh Tony. I wish we could be more than friends, but you know our job won't allow it. And Tony, take care of yourself.

I love you, always, Caitlin Todd

xxoo

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Tony folded the letter up, his vision blurred as he put it back in the envelope. Oh Kate, he thought, I love you to; I have for a long, long time…

Gibbs appeared at the doorway, he was concerned for the younger man. Gibbs reached into his pocket, pulling out a tissue. He handed it to Tony, who accepted it.

"Tony, there's something else. I talked to Kate's lawyers, they wanted you to know something…"

Tony looked at Gibbs, he looked sad, not at all like the Gibbs he knew. Sure, the man was grumpy, but not sad. Gibbs handed Tony another folded document, which Tony read. Gibbs watched his reaction.

Tony's mouth dropped open.

"How could this be possible? Kate would have told me about something like. She would have…" Tony closed his eyes at the memory of her, the vice-like feeling on his heart gripped even harder, like someone was squeezing it with all the power they could manage.

Gibbs half-smiled, "She didn't tell you everything Tony. Maybe this was something she needed to do on her own." He looked at the younger man. Gibbs never knew how Tony felt about Kate, even though he had his suspicions.

Tony stood up, wiping his damp eyes on his shirtsleeve, "Now what boss? The paperwork's all in, but…" Tony trailed off, turning away from Gibbs; he didn't want his boss to see him crying.

"You'll have to talk to Kate's lawyers about that, but what I can say, as she put your name on those documents. She cared about you Tony, a lot. More than she could ever say."

Tony glanced over the document, his eyes focussing on one word.

"Grace."

A/N: So what do you think? What's Kate's secret? And who's Grace? R&R!