Five boys (or men, whatever you wanna call 'em) wake up to find themselves stuck on a mysterious island. The boys are Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games), Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Jesse de Silva (The Mediator), Jace Wayland (The Mortal Instruments) and Morgead Blackthorn (NightWorld).

This story's sole purpose is to be funny. We can't promise it'll have a plot, nor can we promise it'll make sense, and we certainly can't promise the characters won't be OOC.

The Red Dot Society is not liable for any brain cells that may die after reading this story.

Enjoy!

(Oh, and obviously, the characters aren't ours.)

(And there may be spoilers if you haven't read some of the series, or some of the books in some of the series.)

1. Aprons and Washboard Abs

Peeta Mellark started coughing as soon as he woke up. He found he was lying face down in sand. Sand? Why was he in sand? To his left, he heard someone groan. He turned his head to see a shirtless figure, half buried with sand and seaweed.

"Ugh," The figure groaned again, and it moved, trying to sit up. "So much for being Seaweed brain," he mumbled, throwing away a piece of seaweed that was on his head. Then he looked up suddenly, as if realizing for the first time the environment around him. "Wait..." He looked at Peeta. "Who are you?"

Jace Wayland opened his eyes and was met with bright sunlight. He groaned and lifted up his hand to block his eyes. Where was he? He sat up slowly and saw that everything around him was white.

"What happened to me?" He wondered out loud.

"You don't know?" A voice spoke beside him, Jace turned to see Morgead Blackthorn. Morgead was drawing tic tac toe squares in the sand, his tangled hair falling over his face. "You snore like a chainsaw," Morgead snorted at Jace.

Jace scowled, "I don't snore. And even if I did sound like a chainsaw, I'd be a sexy chainsaw."

Meanwhile, on the other end of the beach...

Peeta looked at the black-haired boy next to him.

"I'm Peeta. Who are you? And why are you shirtless?"

"I'm shirtless?" The boy gasped, looking down at himself in surprise.

"Yes, you are." Peeta said as he watched the boy scramble for the seaweed he'd just thrown to cover himself up again, but only semi succeeding. A few seconds later, he'd given up on trying to cover himself.

"I'm Percy," he said, still embarrassed, "Percy Jackson."

"Nice to meet you, Percy." Peeta said, looking around. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Percy shook his head, "I have no idea. One minute I was swimming in the lake and suddenly I woke up here."

"Well, why don't we take a look around? See if we can find something that will help us." Peeta suggested.

Percy nodded, "Sure, but first do you have any spare shirts with you by any chance?"

"Actually," Peeta announced, "I do!"

To Percy's utter disbelief, the blonde boy reached under his - what was that, an apron? - and pulled out a black t-shirt. "So...what, you just carry that around with you?" Percy asked.

"Hey, you want the shirt or not?"

"I do, I do!" Percy grabbed the shirt and hastily put it on, relieved when the fabric covered his bare flesh. That flesh was meant for Annabeth's eyes only. Percy looked up to see Peeta squinting in the distance. "What is it?"

"I see...two people...Playing...tic tac toe?"

"I win," said Jace smugly, putting a line through the three crosses. Morgead groaned, hitting his fist on the sand in frustration.

"What's that stick that you're using?" He pointed at the instrument Jace was using to draw on the sand.

"Oh, this?" Jace lifted the instrument up, "It's a stele," he said casually, drawing another set of tic tac toe squares in the sand.

"Are you sure that's not a tic-tac-toe cheating machine or something?" Morgead asked suspiciously. Just as Jace was about to answer, he was interrupted by someone else...

"Nombre de Dios," the voice said. The two of them looked up and saw a tall man standing over them. "What are you two doing?" He asked, looking at the tic tac toe squares.

"If you must know, we're playing a game called tic tac toe." Jace answered, "and it was so kind of you to ask us our names, Mister..."

"De Silva. Jesse de Silva."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Jace said, feigning innocence. "Jesse McCartney?"

"De Silva."

"De Quincey?"

Jesse rolled his eyes. As he did so, he caught sight of two people coming his way. Two tall boys; one wearing a black t-shirt and shorts with ruffled black hair much like that of the boy who was previously losing the game of 'tic tac toe'. The other boy had wavy blonde hair, and he was wearing...an apron?

"Dios, since when did men start wearing aprons?" Jesse wondered aloud.

Jace snickered, then caught himself. "Hey, you still haven't asked us our names. I'm Jace." He then gestured toward Morgead, "And this is...uh..."

Morgead flicked a grain of sand accurately up Jace's nose and told Jesse his name.

When Percy and Peeta reached the three other boys, their eyes were drawn to Jesse's stomach. They both oohed and said in unison, "Washboard abs..."

Jesse looked confused, "Excuse me? Washboard?" He looked around. "There is no washboard on this isolated island."

Morgead, who was holding his laughter in for so long, finally burst out hysterically.

Jace, on the other hand, was cleaning sand off his face. "They mean you have strong abdominal muscles," he said in a bored tone, ruffling his hair to shake the sand out, obviously pissed at being flicked with sand on the nose. "Like washboards." He threw a sideway glance at those two.

Peeta and Percy were staring at Jesse like they'd just seen a ghost. (Haha...get it?) Percy was pulling at his shirt self-consciously.

"Nom de Dios," Jesse muttered to himself, "I'm trapped on an island with a bunch of loco..."

Peeta was the first to come out of his ab-induced daze. He glanced down to see that Percy's hand was under his shirt. Peeta slapped Percy's arm lightly, "What the hell are you doing?"

The other boy looked sheepish, "I want washboard abs..."

"I'd give you mine if it were physically possible," said Jace, covertly gathering sand behind his back to throw into Morgead's face. "It's becoming a nuisance anyway, the way girls are always drooling over them."

After exactly thirty seconds of awkward silence, broken by Morgead's angry growl when Jace shoved sand in his face, Jesse asked for introductions and so introductions were made. Explanations of where they came from followed.

"As much as I have enjoyed this conversation and the sand fights," Jace smiled at Morgead's sandy face, "I would like to know why we're all here."

The five boys all looked at each other, hoping that one of them would know what was going on.

"Well," Peeta finally spoke up, "I was in my bakery in District 12 when―"

"Dude, you have a bakery?" Percy interrupted, "That's why you smell like bread!"

"And wearing a very manly apron." Jace added.

"Will you just let him finish his story?" Jesse said, looking at Percy and Jace.

"Fine," they both mumbled.

Peeta sent Jesse a thank-you look, "As I was saying..."

"Wait, one more thing," Jace interrupted. "Could you just...take off the apron? It's very distracting."

The four other boys groaned, and Peeta took off the apron to shut Jace up. Jace smiled, happy. "Okay. You may continue."

Peeta shook his head. "I was in my bakery, baking cheese buns-"

"Ooh," said his audience. Peeta ignored them.

"I think I fell asleep while waiting for them to be ready, and I woke up here... Wherever 'here' is." Peeta looked around, noted that the island was massive in size. The beach stretched on forever. Behind him, he saw dense vegetation. Trees that looked a lot like the ones from the Quarter Quell arena. A shiver went down his spine and he-

"What are you doing?" It was Morgead's skeptical voice, aimed at Percy who was sniffing Peeta's apron.

Percy didn't seem to hear him. Instead, he buried his nose deeper into Peeta's apron. "Mmm, I like bread..."

The other boys shook their heads, "What?" Percy asked, "As if you wouldn't do the same."

"Well, we aren't-" Morgead was cut off by Percy shoving Peeta's apron in his face.

Morgead was immediately attracted to the smell of freshly baked cheese buns. He took a long sniff and let out a longing sigh. "This smells sooooo good."

Jace snatched the apron from Morgead's hands, "Oh come on, it's my turn to tell the story now. Here, Jesse," he handed the apron to Jesse, "Keep it away from them."

Jesse nodded and put it in his pocket. "Now that I have your attention," Jace began dramatically, "I would like to tell you my story―"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." It was Peeta's turn to interrupt Jace. He turned to Jesse. "Did you just put my apron in your pocket? How is that even possible unless you have giant pockets?"

Jesse shrugged, "I have...cowboy pockets..."

Jace tried to hold in his laughter, but he couldn't. The way Jesse said 'cowboy pockets' in that Spanish accent of his was just too funny.

"Listen...to...my...story...you idiots." He gasped in between laughter.

"Well, I was hanging out in the Institute, bored out of my mind, when suddenly, I heard this very familiar song coming out of one of the rooms."

"Which song?" Percy interrupted again.

"Could you not cut us off for once, Percy?" Morgead sighed.

Percy shook his head, "You guys are so boring. We need details, people. Details!"

Jace gritted his teeth, "If you must know, it was 'Mi Morena' by Josh Groban."

"Who?" Jesse asked. All four of them stared at him in disbelief.

"You..." Morgead began slowly, "You don't know Josh Groban?"

Jesse shook his head, "I'm more concerned with what the Institute is. Some kind of mental hospital?"

Peeta's eyes were wide. Instead of admitting he was wondering the same thing, he said, "Josh Groban is the most amazing, inspiring, amazingly inspiring singer there ever was and ever will be! He sings in English, Italian, French and Spanish! You should like Spanish!"

"Where is an iPod when you need one!" Percy yelled, frustrated that this Spanish man knew nothing of the greatest artist alive.

"And so, my love, from my window I can see..." Morgead started singing. Jace followed suit soon after. Then Percy and Peeta. By the time the song was finished, Jesse had manly Spanish tears in his eyes.

"That was…beautiful..."

They sang 'Mi Morena' a few more times until the sun was setting.

"Mi querida, I'll wait for you," Jesse sang happily while the others swayed along.

"I can't believe it!" Percy exclaimed. "We've known each other for like, what, four, five hours? But it feels as if we've known each other for a lifetime."

The others looked at him curiously. "What is he going on about?" Jace asked Peeta.

"I think 'Mi Morena' made him very sentimental," Peeta answered.

"It is a beautiful song," Jesse said, his eyes closed. "I'd like to sing it to Susannah."

"Who?" Morgead asked.

"Susannah, my girlfriend. I was trying to study - to become a doctor, you know - but I was daydreaming of her when I suddenly found myself on this island."

"Susannah," Jace rolled the name around on his tongue. "She hot?"

Jesse glared at him, "Don't be vulgar."

"Vulgar?" Jace repeated, "Who uses the word vulgar these days?"

"Susannah?" Morgead said, "as in, 'Oh, Susannah, don't you cry for me'?"

"Oh, I know that song!" Percy exclaimed happily, " Oh Susannah, don't you cry for me, 'cause I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee..." He started singing to the tune while Jesse rolled his eyes.

"Can I have my apron back now?" Peeta asked nervously, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt, "I feel...incomplete without it."

Percy opened his mouth to start to argue, just as a frilly pink apron fell from the sky and landed on his head.

"By the Angel!" Jace exclaimed, getting to his feet. He turned his face to the setting sun. "How 'bout some food, Big Guy?"

"Who," Jesse began, "are you talking to?"

Jace turned around, "The Big Guy upstairs. Peeta asked for his apron and he got it. I want food."

"Whoa," said Peeta, "that pink apron is not mine. I want the one in Jesse's cowboy pockets."

Jesse took Peeta's white, MANLY apron from his pocket and threw it in Peeta's direction. Before the baker could catch it, though, Percy had jumped in front of him and grabbed the apron. Laughing like a mad man, he ran to the edge of the jungle, apron in hand.

A few minutes later he came back, looking deflated.

"It doesn't smell like cheese buns anymore."

Morgead raised an eyebrow. He turned to the setting sun, "I want my soulmate here." He said, waiting expectantly. Jace was fingering the laces of the pink apron, which had "I LOVE MOMMY" in big, sparkly letters printed in front.

"What does it smell like then?" Jesse asked Percy.

"It smells like...sunshine and sweat," Percy said, disappointed.

"Sunshine and sweat?" Peeta echoed, "What's in your cowboy pocket? And who's your soulmate?" He turned to Morgead.

"I don't know," said Jesse, answering Peeta's first question. "I never thought to investigate my cowboy pockets."

Peeta thought about this, then nodded. He turned his head expectantly to Morgead. "Who's your soulmate?"

"Her name's Jez. I was riding my motor bike to her house. Then I was here." A thought occurred to Morgead then, and a look of horror bloomed across his face. "Did I crash? Am I dead?" His voice rose. "Is this hell?"

Jace, leaning back on both elbows, flicked some more sand in the other boy's direction, "Shut your trap. We're waiting on the Big Guy to give us food and your soulmate."

Percy made a noise.

Four heads turned to look at him, "What?"

"You guys think there's just one 'Big Guy'? Let me show you how it's done," Percy strode over to the ocean and bent down. He murmured something that sounded suspiciously like, "Hey, Dad. Can you send up some fish or oysters or somethin'?"

Jesse cocked his head, "Is he...talking to the sea?"

"Dad?" said Percy. His voice getting a little louder. "Oh, da-a-ad..."

Morgead flung himself into the sand, hands covering his face. "This is definitely hell."

This chapter was written by: StarLover Cat, filmyfurry and wolfienur.

We hope you enjoyed that. xD Next chapter will be here soon. Sooner, if we get reviews. Reviews are like cookies. Makes us hyper. :)

All the books that the characters are from are amazing. Read them, if you haven't already!