A Teary Morning
"Mask of Clown"
Summary: Here, a blind Break ponders his withering body and guarded public persona, and Liam catches him weeping when he thinks he's alone.
Writer's Note: Spoilers for Retrace 43, but it will make more sense if you're up to at least Retrace 49.
Alone in his room one morning, Break endeavored to take off his nightshirt and change into his usual daytime clothes. With his joints getting creakier, he had been finding it more and more difficult to attach his suspenders in the back, so he had tried to just keep them clipped to his trousers all the time. But this morning, they had come loose, and he had to try to reattach them without being able to see anything.
I wish someone were here that I could ask for help, someone who I wouldn't mind seeing me this way…half naked and feeble…unable to do the simplest things without a struggle.
Certainly, it wasn't long ago that Break had defeated Oz handily in a sword fight. He could make up for his lack of sight with other senses. But sometimes – especially in the morning and late at night – he wished someone else could be there to assist him.
It's not that I really need help physically, it's just that I…wish I could trust someone…with intimate things…
He slipped on his trousers and affixed the suspenders to them, feeling for the correct place to affix the clips.
…I'm afraid if I lower my guard someone will…no, I learned long ago to steel myself against such hurts…sometimes I just wish I didn't have to have a mask on in public all the time…
A tear dripped down his cheek. He wiped it off with his sleeve, but the tears kept coming.
The door to his room was ajar, and Liam poked his head inside to see if Break was awake. He was about to say something, then was stunned speechless at the sight of Break standing there, weeping.
He's kinda cute when he cries, thought Liam.
"Are you alright, Xerxes?" asked Liam, walking toward Break and putting a hand on his shoulder.
Break gasped and looked up toward the sound of Liam's voice, his eyes empty of sight but full of nervous sadness.
"Liam!" Break said, startled. "I…I…thought I was alone."
Liam locked him a warm embrace, and Break slowly relaxed into his arms.
"You'll never be alone," Liam told him. "I'll always be here for you. Friend."
[I wrote a kind of sequel to this called "Touch My Face".]