Chapter 1
It was just after three in the afternoon, we had just finished another case. Caught another killer. It sucked, knowing that no matter how many murderers we bring down, there's always more. Too many more. But, as long as we caught them it didn't matter, right? That's what Patrick Jane seemed to think, seeing as he, yet again, pulled one of his stunts, risking my job. But, he had said that he'd always be there for me, that he'd always save me so many times, and whether I liked it or not I trusted him. He asked me to trust him, and against my better judgment, I did. More than I'd care to admit. So, maybe, just maybe, it was a little more than trust. I couldn't have fallen for Patrick Jane, the man who sought out revenge, the man who has never gotten over his wife and daughter? As much as I denied it, it was true. I had fallen. Hard. Definitely against my better judgment. Not that I could do anything about it anymore, no, I was in way too deep.
I walked into my office, longing to rest my legs after chasing the murderer nearly a mile at top speed. Thank you, Patrick Jane. My eyes darted to the floor, catching on something white underneath one of my desk's legs. It was a paper. How the hell could it have gotten there? Someone had to have put it there, and it wasn't me. My mind jumped to Patrick, wait when did I start calling him Patrick, it was, and still should be Jane, but he had no problem saying anything to anyone's face. Yes, confidence was something that he had plenty of, that and ego. And boy did that annoy me, him and his damn ego. I lifted my desk up, moving the paper out from under it with my foot. It was a note. A hand written note.
Dear Theresa, it read. The sudden realization hit me as if someone had just punched me, it was Patrick, no, Jane. The date read a week in the future. What was going on?
I can't stay. We're never going to catch Red John like this. It just won't happen. It is my hope that you will be able to understand. Good bye.
It wasn't even signed. The bastard couldn't even sign the damn letter. He hoped I'd understand? It was all a lie, everything he ever said to me. He said he'd be there for me, but he was leaving. He said he would always save me, but he was the one who caused me to need to be saved. I should have seen right through the lies, but I couldn't. I let my emotions get in the way. And he probably knew the whole time that I loved him. He just played with me, keeping me at arms length, then he told me he'd be there, he'd save me. And now he was leaving, just like that. He didn't even have the guts to say it to my face.
I looked out the window of my office, he was still here, they all were. I had told them that they could take the rest of the day off. I felt the rage in my stomach threaten to boil over, and if that happened, so help me I might just shoot him. I wrenched the door open, letting my anger take control for a short time. I stepped into the bull pen, the letter clenched in my hand. The whole team looked up, startled by my sudden angry appearance. Only Jane didn't look up, he lay on his couch like nothing was wrong. But with Jane, something was always wrong, no matter how much I tried to fool myself otherwise. I walked up to him and thrust the letter on his chest. His blue eyes searched my hurt, angry face.
"You disgust me," I snarled, my voice filled with venom. I whirled around, nearly running out of the office. I barely reached the elevator before the tears in my eyes fell. I was powerless to stop it, they kept coming, streaming down my face. I stepped out into the rain, immediately soaked head to foot. Nothing like rain to go with a broken heart. Yes, that was it, that was what I was feeling. Heartbreak. I could see it now, my heart in a million pieces, too many to piece back together. Again. Why did this keep happening to me? It all started with my mother, when she was hit by that drunk driver. And then it just kept going, on and on and on. Like the snowball effect. And each time it was just worse and worse. But all I could do was work through it because I would never do anything to hurt myself. It was demeaning. My mother wouldn't want that.
I crack of thunder brought me back from my thoughts. I realized I had been standing in the middle of the parking lot for what seemed like forever, just standing there. I reached my car just as a sob racked my side. I sat next to the car, my back leaned against it. Tears streaming down my face, I sat there in the rain. I had thought that maybe, just maybe he would come after me. But he didn't. He didn't care enough. That hurt more than anything I had ever felt before. I would never be enough. Never. I let him play with me, hypnotize me. I was just another subject, nothing more. Like a fool, I gave into him. Like a fool.
A/N: Hey, so... what did you think? Don't be afraid to click that blue button that says review(unless I'm the only one who sees it!)! :$