LIGHTHOUSE
To this day I still can't believe that he's mine, that he loves me, that he cares about me, that he actually feels for me what I feel for him. It's surreal, it's amazing, it's rewarding but more than anything else, it's perfect.
I honestly never would have believed that day actually happened if it wasn't for this moment right now, this moment that shows just how much my life has changed in just a decade. And I owe it all to him. I was suicidal, full of guilt, begging for release, deserving death ... until the moment when the doors to the Astronomy tower opened and you walked in telling me just the opposite. The war was over, the Light had won, of course they had, they had you after all. The mood in the Wizarding World was quite contrasting at this time to be honest; people were mourning their losses but celebrating this new age ... all thanks to you. You held me in your arms that night, you told me you loved me, I'm yet to hear more beautiful words, more sincere words. You cradled my face in your two hands and kissed me, sparks ran through me, it was electrifying, pulse raising, heart thudding, it was our first kiss.
I still thank whatever deity there is, whether I believe in it or not is not a question, for I believe in you. You're everything good on this Earth, all the small things because after all it is all these small things that complete the bigger picture. Things like finding that small bit of light in the dark; you were that light for me. Finding your favourite seat in the park, there waiting just for you; you were that seat for me. But more than anything you were my lighthouse, the one that guided me to safety, the one that cared for me. My only hope when I felt all hope was lost.
I hardly ever cry, but that night, when I felt all hope was lost for me, when I was preparing to leave this Earth and I broke down, I believe it was worth it now, to have you here with me in this moment and to know I'll be able to have you ever. That I'll be able to hold you in my arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, feeling your lips on mine, it just makes everything so much more clearer and life much more liveable. And now I live to love, not to survive, and I feel the difference with me every day.
You didn't have to stay, you could have gone on with your life without me. You had so many options, yet you chose me, someone so undeserving for your love yet I was the one who won it. But don't ever doubt my love, it might not be perfect, for we do fight and argue, we do disagree but at the end of the day it's you that I want to be with, it's you I need to be with. My love for you is unquestionable. That moment when you saved me is so perfect to look back on, just in the nick of time, you saved my life and me. And I don't know how I could ever thank you for that.
You're just so perfect, at all times, I can never seem to fault you, even when we fight. I love how you can understand me so well. I love everything about you, the small and the big. I love how when you're annoyed you start rubbing your nose, or stroke your hand through your hair when you're nervous, the way you bite your lip when you're trying to be patient but not really managing it and I just adore the way you seek me in a crowded room, as if to reassure yourself I'm still there. It's like no matter where we are, I can always seem to find you, my eyes are instantly drawn to you, and that's just another thing I love about you.
I need you in my life, forever and always. I can't even begin to fathom my future without you. Our love isn't one big thing, it's a million little things, and it's growing each day. You saved me and I could never forget that, you gave me a new life, a life that i love. I really do love you Harry, so much more than you might ever know, but I plan on showing you every day, every minute and every second for as long as I live, till my final breath, till death do us apart.