A/N - Yui, this one's for you. For good old times' sake. :)
Like Talking to a Wall
Sai looked around the small clearing. The aftermath of the last night's heavy downpour was still very visible. His gaze flew over a messy pile of stones caused by a landslide. The late morning sun did little to dry the drenched ground.
That was good. It meant it would be easier to find the tracks.
The young shinobi took off his backpack and squatted to pull out a blank scroll. Clean, well-practised moves outlined a dozen mice. That should be enough to cover the area.
„Ninpou: Choujuu Giga."
Little black nozzles peeked from the flat white surface and tasted the humid forest air. The mice were gone in a second. It was as he watched them scuttle away that he heard a faint human sound.
His hand went to the hilt of his tanto in a blink of an eye. Sai's gaze travelled around to check out his surroundings.
The sound repeated, but Sai still couldn't make out where it came from. It got louder. And it sounded female.
Sai stood up, his hand still upon the weapon. He thought he could discern the direction it came from, but not much more. It could have been both two feet and five miles away. Muffled.
Like coming from the earth itself.
His eyes caught movement. Pieces of rubble rolled down the mountain-pile of stones, accompanied by a low cry.
Dark eyes widened slightly as he realized that the sound came from the stones.
It was a caved-in entrance to a cavern, and somebody was on the other side.
„Is there anybody out there?"
The words were discernible once he got close enough.
„Please, please, somebody be out there!"
The voice stopped talking and for a few moments, all Sai could hear if he tried hard enough was weak sniffling.
He remained silent while analyzing the situation. A person, presumably female, was trapped inside the collapsed cave. The fugitive his team was after was a middle-aged male, but that didn't rule out the possibility of Sai having encountered the target. Still, it wasn't all too likely. It might have been an innocent passerby.
He checked out the uneven stone wall. There were some huge rocks in there. Sai couldn't remove them without risking a stone avalanche injuring the woman.
There was nothing he could do about it. And he had a target to follow.
Sai picked up his belongings and rearranged the backpack on his back. He stepped towards the forest when a thought crossed his mind. The one he was lately training himself to consider before every decision of even slightly greater importance.
What would Naruto-kun do?
A small frown appeared.
He wasn't sure, but his new teammate probably wouldn't have walked away.
'But there's nothing I can do about it and there are orders to follow.'
Naruto-kun didn't care about orders. Well, he almost never did. But there were some situations when Naruto-kun's disobedience would in the end turn out to have been the right thing to do. What if this was one of those situations? Some wormy feeling in his stomach insisted that might be the case.
Sai once more glanced back at the rubble.
The mice were doing the job, anyway.
He could spend some time here, although he still didn't know what to do.
Sai walked back to the wreckage and leaned down to hear better. No sound.
„Hello. Is there anyone inside?"
Nothing for a moment. Then a sudden intake of breath.
„Yes, yes, yes! Thank Kami, I'm inside! Please help me!"
There we go.
„Sumimasen, it seems there's nothing I can do to help."
The voice on the other side didn't respond immediately.
„Can't you move the rocks?" the voice was weak and not very convinced itself.
„If I move the rocks, they might all collapse on you."
The voice had no answer to that one.
After a while, it came through the solid barrier. „... Can't you do something? ... Please?"
The voice was sniffling again. Sai wanted to sigh. This was becoming burdensome.
„Sumimasen."
An idea came to him. It wasn't practical, and hardly in the interest of the mission, but he thought Naruto-kun would approve. Maybe even Yamato-taichou.
„Ano, Miss? I can leave and return with some comrades who might help."
He turned to walk away when the squeaky voice cried out loud:
„No! No, no, no! Please, don't leave me! No! I can't take it any more!"
He looked back in surprise. Couldn't she see that her demand was unreasonable? He couldn't be of any use to her here.
„Are you still there...? Hey!... Hey!"
„I'm still here", he said.
The voice was crying audibly now. „Please, don't go! Please stay! I can't be alone in here any more, or I'll die!"
Sai rose an eyebrow. Being left alone was a highly unlikely cause of death. This was a perfect example of how emotions muddled a person's thinking process. Unless she meant it literally.
„Miss? Are you injured?"
The voice sniffled again. „Yes. A rock pinned my right leg, and it's too heavy to move. It hurts like hell, but that's a good thing, right? That it hurts, I mean?"
Sai thought he maybe heard her wrong because the statement was illogical. It was hard to understand some of her words since she was speaking through tears.
„I'm sorry, Miss?"
„Means I'm not paralyzed. Or that it's still attached to me."
The tone of her voice changed. Almost as if she... smiled.
'Emotions.'
„I guess it's a good thing then."
This conversation was becoming difficult to follow.
„Miss, if you're injured, you should be treated quickly. If I leave, I can get the help to you faster."
He had to wait a while for her answer. When she spoke, it sounded like she was trying to calm down.
„... I know. I'm acting a little bit crazy, but I spent the entire night in here, in the dark, and I think I couldn't bear another five minutes. What... What if something happens to you and you never get back? Or if you can't find this place again?"
Not likely. He was good at finding his way around. But he could see her point, although he couldn't understand it. She wasn't acting rationally.
„You're still here?"
„Yes."
„I'm sorry... Just give me another five minutes to get a hold of myself and then you can go."
Too irrational. He doubted she would be able to compose herself. She didn't sound like a shinobi. And he couldn't expect much forbearance from a civilian.
Sai sat down on his folded standard-issued Konoha cloak and pulled down his backpack. He found the scroll and opened the ink compartment.
If he was going to do this, he should do it properly. Naruto-kun would.
„Miss? I'll stay here and send messengers."
She was quiet as he wove his jutsu. Three ink birds soared towards the sky. Once he stopped making noise, she spoke again.
„... Thank you."
„What kind of messengers?"
Sai paused. He should have known the person would start asking questions. Such as shinobi should answer with caution.
„To notify my comrades of our location."
„Yes, I get that. But how can you do it if you're here?"
Sai's eyes narrowed. She sure wanted to know a lot.
„It's a part of my jutsu", he said at last, concluding he didn't reveal too much.
„Jutsu?... That means you're a shinobi!"
„Yes."
„Hahaha, I must've caught a break then!" She was laughing, but it sounded jangled, even to his unaccustomed ears. According to the chapters on facial expressions, laughter could be interpreted in various ways depending on the context. Hysteria was a possible source. It fit the situation at hand the most.
„Shinobi should be able to do something, right?"
„Yes."
„... How long do you think it will take your friends to reach us?"
„Comrades."
There was something about those two words that puzzled him.
„I can't tell. It depends on... when the news reaches them."
„Oh."
The silence didn't last long.
„It's just... My leg's been bleeding for the most of the night, and I can't feel if it stopped... The blood dried, but... Could I bleed to death before they arrive?"
„You talk so much that I think there is no risk."
Right then, some deep inner alarm went off, and Sai had an instinctive feeling that a punch was about to descend on his cheek. It lasted for less than a second but was startlingly intense. Sai looked around, puzzled by his own reaction, only to realize he had been expecting Sakura-san's „Shannaro".
Sai was as amazed as he could be.
Did this reflex mean he was becoming attuned to his teammates' presence? Was it a sign of a bond, as slight as it may be?
Sai suddenly became aware that the girl's silence lasted longer than usual. He wondered whether she would like to hit him like Sakura-san if she were on the other side of the wall.
„Miss...?"
The sound coming from behind the stoneslide was unusual. A string of short grunts soon burst into another fit of laughter. This one, however, seemed different than the previous. Lighter... and less fitting. It left Sai feeling out of depth.
„Well, that's a relief", she finally said, smile still present in her voice. „You're special, aren't you?"
Sai didn't answer.
She was better at this than he was.
„My name is Saki. What's yours?"
„Sai."
It wasn't his name, but it would serve the purpose.
„Sai-kun... Please talk about something."
„I have nothing to say."
Her use of the name disconcerted him. Based on what he read, she shouldn't have used 'kun' so early on in their acquaintance. She skipped a step and left him wondering whether he was supposed to call her Saki-chan. Maybe the nature of the situation allowed for a more familiar suffix, but it still seemed inappropriate to him.
„Anything... What's the weather like?"
„Wet."
„I'm better off, then. In here it's only dark and freezingly cold."
Sai frowned, unsure if her position could really be better than his, but he decided then to stop analyzing every nuance. The discourse was difficult enough as it was.
Cold.
„Sumimasen, I can't do anything about the cold, but I can send you food if you're hungry."
This case was starting to show him exactly why Danzo-sama taught them to walk away from casualties that were none of their concern. Approaching them meant taking responsibility. If Saki-san died now, it would be because Sai didn't do everything in his power to stop it from happening. Taking care of the wounded would be a serious burden on the field.
The soldier in him felt the impatient prod of every passing minute not spent on completing his mission. He tried to bring Naruto-kun's face to mind to ease the urge to leave.
„That would be great! But how?"
„Here."
Sai rummaged through his backpack and pulled out Sakura-san's food pill container. The brown ball pressed between his thumb and forefinger was small enough to pass through a narrow opening between two larger rocks. The crack allowed the voice to travel.
„Is it safe to eat?" Saki-san was dubious.
„It's a shinobi food pill, specially designed for long missions and emergencies."
„Arigatou."
It wasn't long before Saki-san started to cough and spit.
„No offence, but it tastes awful."
Why would he take any?
„Yes, but it will give your body the sustenance it needs."
„You must be a really tough shinobi when you keep eating this stuff."
Saki-san was smiling again. He was always unsure how to reply when she did so. If smiles were so difficult to understand, no wonder he couldn't figure out how to use them properly.
„Please keep talking. I don't mind the subject."
„Why do you want me to talk when there's nothing to communicate?"
She was the one to pause this time.
„... So I wouldn't feel like talking to a wall."
Sai frowned, wondering if she would feel the same in case she could see his face.
„It's like... You're not even there, and I keep imagining this voice because the darkness got me and I went crazy. Do you understand? I need you to talk to show me you're real!"
Her voice was quivering again. It was then that Sai noticed the tears were never far away. Fake smiles.
„... I'm not good at holding conversations."
„That's okay. Just answer my questions."
That would depend on the questions.
„How old are you?"
„Sixteen."
„So you're a year older." Another fake smile.
„Where are you from?"
He was more cautious with this one, but she would see the symbol anyway once they pulled her out.
„Konoha."
„Isn't that in another country?"
„Yes."
„I see... I shouldn't be asking about your mission, right?" Fake smile.
He was pleasantly surprised at her catching up.
„I'm from Kotaki. That's four miles to the west... I was going home from my aunt's place in Kawahiru when the storm caught me. I thought it would be safer to take shelter here than to walk in the rain, but the ceiling caved in before I could do anything about it. ... I thought nobody would find me."
Sai remained silent, not knowing how to answer the girl's voice thick with tears. He tried to imagine what he would do in the same situation and realized how frightening it could have been for a civilian girl.
„... But here you are."
„I am."
„Sai-kun... This might be a strange question, but..."
She grew quieter again. Almost as if... embarrassed?
„What is it?"
„Ano... What do you look like?"
It was a strange question.
„Don't get me wrong!" she hurried. „I'm asking because it's hard for me to picture you, and it really does feel like talking to a bunch of rocks. You don't have to answer..."
„No... I have black hair and black eyes."
He couldn't think of any other important feature to describe.
„That's funny."
„What is?"
„Me and my little brother also have black hair and black eyes. Almost all the people in my village do. Are you sure you're not from Kotaki by any chance?" Her voice took up a smiling tone again, but Sai couldn't find anything amusing about her question.
As far as he knew, he might have as well originated from Kotaki.
„So, do you have any siblings?"
„I had a brother once."
Saki-san asked no more questions. She was better at conversations than he. Maybe she picked up the full import of his last reply.
A minute later Saki-san screamed and bumped against the rocks. Debris dusted his hair.
„Saki-san, what is it?"
He could hear her sobbing and hitting around on the other side. 'She shouldn't be doing that.'
„A rat! This one came all the way near me!"
Sai considered. A single rat wasn't a problem. More of them, however...
„I could hear them scuttling the whole night, but they never got this close! I can't be in here with them! They'll chew my eyes out!... Kami, I can't move, can't chase them away, and you can't help me! I can't be alone with them!"
Saki-san was having a full-fledged panic attack. Nobody taught him how to deal with other people's panic.
Sai reached for his backpack.
„Saki-san, I'll send you a snake."
The silence came abruptly.
„... What?!"
„It will take care of the rats."
„Are you...?! No! I didn't hear you right. What snake?"
„It's not a real snake."
„You'll send me a fake snake?"
„Yes."
„What?!"
„You'll see."
„No, don't!"
Sai took a deep breath. He thought he could feel something. Irritation. This was the first time he was talking to a civilian, and it was tiring.
„Saki-san, the snake is part of my jutsu. It is not real, but it could protect you from the rats."
„How can you make a fake snake?"
„I will draw it."
„And it will, what, come to life?"
„In a way."
She didn't comment further.
„It won't attack you."
„Alright. If you say so." Her voice was weak. He nodded.
The thin black stripe slithered through the small opening between the rocks.
„Oh! Oh, I can hear it. It went behind me."
„I know."
„... I've been acting a little bit crazy again, haven't I?"
„Yes."
Time was running by. Saki-san stopped trying to engage him in longer conversations after a while.
More than half an hour passed before she spoke again. Her voice was weaker than before.
„Sai-kun. I don't think I can handle it much longer."
Sai lifted his gaze from the drawing pad on his knees. He had taken it out some ten minutes earlier.
„They are likely on their way. You won't have to wait much longer."
„Yes, probably. But you don't know what it's like in here. Even with you by my side, it feels like there's a pressure on my chest, and temples... Like the darkness weighs down on me. I can't describe it right, but it's the closest to going insane I ever got... It's like being buried alive, that's it. Like I'm in a tomb, and you're outside, and one of us is talking to a ghost."
Sai became alarmed. She spoke in a new tone. It was calm, but hollow. It really sounded like coming from a corpse.
Saki-san had spent around sixteen hours caught in a dark and cold landslide, most of it being injured and alone. He could see she might be nearing a breaking point.
The parameter his team was covering was quite wide, as they were meant to unite not sooner than later in the evening. He couldn't guess how much longer it would take them to come.
He just didn't know how to help her.
„So, Sai-kun, I'll be asking you one more thing. It might be too much, but it's the only thing I can think of."
„Tell me."
„... Could you hold my hand?"
It was the last thing he expected. „... How...?"
Two thin, blood-smeared fingers peeked from the small opening between the rocks, floundering in the fresh air. Sai stared at them.
„Saki-san, the rocks might collapse and crush your hand."
„I'll take the risk."
„Why? What difference does it make?"
„It makes a world of difference to me!"
He didn't react.
„I know it's weird, but maybe it'll make me stop feeling like I'm suffocating all the time... please."
Reluctantly, Sai hooked two of his fingers with hers. She was as cold as death, but he thought he could feel the difference after a few seconds passed. She relaxed almost instantly.
„Much better", the smile said.
„Can it really be so important to you?" it was his time to sound dubious.
Her voice warmed. „Like holding to life itself."
„What are you doing?"
„Excuse me?"
„You can't be staring into the woods in silence all this time. How are you amusing yourself?"
Some newly-discovered part of Sai braced himself for the reaction to the impending answer.
„I'm drawing."
„You're what now?"
'Here comes the fury.' Amazing. He was almost certain of it.
„I'm drawing."
„Is it part of your jutsu?"
„Not this time."
„… Oh. So it's recreational."
Sai shrugged. It was as good a descriptor as any.
„What are you drawing?"
It was an abstract study in contrast. She didn't respond immediately after he told her so.
„Do you ever draw anything real? Like landscapes or portraits?"
He frowned. The snakes, mice and lions were real. As real as he needed them to be. But the newly-discovered part of him understood what she was aiming at.
„Sometimes. I used to, more, when I was younger."
„… I see."
What was there to see?
„Have you ever drawn the sea?"
„I have."
„…"
There was a strange quality to the ensuing silence. Something almost… calculative?
„… What is the sea like, Sai-kun?"
Sai's frown deepened.
„It is a large expanse of water–"
„Yes, yes, I know that. But… What is its colour?"
The young nin's pale brow smoothed. That was an easy one.
„It depends. On the time of day, and the surrounding environment. Also on the weather conditions, and…"
„I've always wanted to see the sea. Just haven't had the chance. Well, not yet. Sai-kun?"
„Yes?"
„Will you draw me the sea? Please? … And describe it as you draw it?"
He would have refused. It was a waste of time and resources. A whole sheet of paper would go to waste, and he would have to fish the coloured crayons out of his backpack. But…
But the images from memory tickled his artistic fancy. There was something there.
Sai prepared the tools in silence, but hesitated before drawing the first line across the blankness of the page laid upon his knees.
„Saki-san?"
„Hn…?"
„Which seascape would you like me to draw? It varies from coast to coast, quite."
„It doesn't matter. Whichever comes to your mind first."
He opted for the scenery from the Land of Earth.
„Did you start?"
„Yes."
„Talk me through the process, please."
'Burdensome.' He couldn't focus on the image if he had to verbalize each and every line.
„I know it must feel annoying to you, but I could really use some beauty right now – something other than darkness and shadows. I cannot see it, yet, so please help me envision it. Please, Sai-kun?"
Sai sighed.
'Naruto would…'
„I'm outlining the coast."
„Why the coast?"
Oh, great. She had additional questions, too.
„I need something to contrast the texture of the sea with."
„Oh… Alright. What is the texture of the coast, then?"
Sai inhaled again.
„The rocks are hard and sharp at certain points. Mostly smooth surfaces, though… They are of the white colour which is almost never white. I'm using the light grey, but they have rusty brown patches from the rains washing the surrounding dirt across them. Also, there is the whiter tide-line."
„…"
She allowed for a short spell of silence.
„And… the water?"
„In this particular scene, the sea is of bluish green quality. I'm using mostly green, with white undertones. Those depict the whitish stones at the bottom."
„Are those sharp, too?"
He could almost detect a smile in the tone of her question, but why bother himself with deciphering it?
„No. The rocks at the bottom are more like large, rounded pebbles. They would assume all sorts of colours up in the sun, but in the deep, it is safe to render them white."
Saki-san made a small sound of agreement, and left him to his work.
He offered brief comments every now and again. On the shimmering quality of the sunbreak upon the wavelets, and the unstable reflections of the clouds.
He described the elusive darts of yellow that were schools of tiny fish in the shallows, and the prickly lines that made the dark blobs of sea urchins.
It seemed to him that quiet, unbelonging sobs interrupted Saki-san's attentive silence on occasion, but her fingers would just squeeze his tighter, and she wouldn't complain. So that was alright, then.
He was just thickening the shade of the deeper part of the water when the treetops rustled to his right. Sai rose his head, and his eyes soon met with the wide pair belonging to Yamato-taichou. He nodded to the captain, and soon enough to the panting pinkette behind him. It took another minute for the noisy breaking of twigs to announce Naruto's arrival.
„Where is she?" Naruto asked upon landing.
„Sai-kun? What's going on?" caution laced the muffled female voice coming from the heap of stones.
„My comrades have arrived, Saki-san. We'll get you out of there in no time."
He moved to step aside, but the blood-smeared fingers held onto his own, tightly.
„Saki-san, I assure you that together, as a team, we are more than capable to ensure your safe retrieval."
The fingers didn't relent, however.
Luckily, the more experienced Yamato-taichou came to the rescue.
„Miss? Please, describe your position as precisely as you can…" the grown-up man's pleasant, self-assured voice proceeded with the instructions, and Saki-san complied.
The chakra-imbued roots and branches soon invaded the heap of stones, and rearranged the fall, exposing a grime-stained, tear-streaked young female face to the sunlight.
The girl screened her eyes and let out a soft cry. Naruto jumped up to pull her out of the rubble while Yamato's jutsu held up the giant rock pinning her leg. Sakura proceeded to envelop the wounded limb in the healing green light, her soft voice soothing the injured girl. Sai stood aside. His particular talents came to no use at the moment.
He observed the girl. Saki-san. She was of pleasant appearance – even with the dust-whitened dark hair, and dirty skin.
The girl's black eyes were focused solely on the miracle Sakura was performing upon her leg. Caked blood remained, but the oozing cut vanished after a while. Saki-san let out a teary gasp.
„There you go. As good as new!" Sakura proclaimed. "But you might give it some rest before trying it out," the pinkette winked.
„Taicho," she turned towards the Jounin. „Her leg is healed, but she shouldn't use it just yet. It would be best if we carried her to her village."
Yamato grasped his chin in thought. "… Yeah. It'll go like this… Naruto, Sai! You are to take Saki-san back to her village and ask around. It isn't very likely, but somebody might have seen our target. Sakura and I will continue checking the established parameter. We'll meet as previously arranged. Yosh."
The older man provided them with a makeshift wooden stretcher and vanished into the tree-line. Sakura-san followed, after granting Sai an unusually warm smile.
That left him with Naruto and the girl.
„Come on, Sai! Hold on, Saki-san!" the energetic blonde helped the girl settle on the stretcher, and grabbed the handles near her legs. Sai swung his backpack over a shoulder, and hurried to take up the handles near Saki-san's head.
He avoided her gaze, even though he couldn't account for it, and even though he could sense her glancing up at him.
Strange how it was easier to converse with a bodiless voice from beyond a wall than with an actual person. Or maybe not.
He would have shrugged, but it might have jostled the stretcher with its precarious burden.
The two ninja carefully traversed the distance from the stoneslide to Kotaki – Saki-san spent the short trip with eyes squeezed shut, and a bone-white death-grip on the wooden framework.
At some point, Sai wondered why Yamato made him accompany Naruto and the girl to the village when Naruto's clones could have done the job themselves, but then decided it was probably in case Naruto met the target on the way. The blonde required level-headed supervision, he guessed.
The girl mumbled directions to her house through tight-lined mouth, and the trio soon arrived.
Sai politely knocked on the little abode's door, while Naruto helped Saki stand up.
The elderly woman who answered the door made a lot of noisy fuss over the retrieved granddaughter, allowing Sai to stick to the inconspicuous sidelines. While the woman showered the more approachable Naruto with a profusion of thanks, the Root operative fished the sea drawing out of the backpack.
He pressed it into darkhaired younger boy's arms, with a hopefully convincing smile, and a directive: „For your sister."
He was about to turn towards the garden gate when a soft voice called out:
„Sai-kun… Thank you."
Sai nodded at Saki-san, choosing not to return the thanks. Even though he owed some.
This had been a step. Big or small – it didn't matter.
A step. An actual, concrete step.
Naruto might have inspired his decision, but Sai was the one who'd made it.
He made it.
