Crazy hypertime fanfiction
– late at night, surrounded by friends and sugar I set my self a challenge:write a hypertime comedy fic about Soul Eater in one go. There is no plot, no point,and no good jokes but here it is.
Kid groaned and rolled over snuggling into Black Star's chest, and the fluffy warm blankets covering them….yes they are in bed together.? "Eeeeeaaaarggggg!" Kid screamed, leaped out of the bed and began beating Black Star with a handy pillow. An excited Patty burst into the room along with Liz and promptly tackled him. Black Star just rolled over and continued snoring. In the kitchen downstairs Tsubaki smirked and then replaced her calm façade. Kid lay on the floorboards groaning while Patty pinned his legs and Liz chattered at him. And yes, Black Star was still happily oblivious. Kid tried to comprehend what the younger girl was telling him. " What about the rain? Who stripped who? Risk of cold?Oh hey, I am still wearing pants!" Gasping he froze considering his situation, the solution the girls were providing, and the fact that he felt off balance. Patty and Liz, seeing him begin to reach for his hair, leaped away from him in horror and dashed out of the room. Kid felt his hair. His parting was uneven. Pedestrians outside stopped to stare at the house as his scream shook the very foundations and then went on their way as the windows started shattering. Back in the bedroom still sleeping, Black Star hurled a pillow at Kid, knocking him unconscious and brining peace back to the world.
Patty and Liz glanced between each other and the concoction on the table in front of them before staring up at Tsubaki in horror. She just grinned down at them. It seemed she wanted them to eat whatever it was. Ever impulsive Patty grabbed up a spoon, and with a silent goodbye to her sister she began to consume. "Hey, it's kinda good! Well done Tsubaki!" Liz laughed in relief and gladly tucked in, forgetting that her sister had a stomach of steel. Since she didn't she promptly turned a strange green color and was forced to leave immediately for the bathroom or better yet the hospital.
Kid twitched and sat up straight. Where the hell was he again? Oh right. There had been an unfortunate incident earlier, involving a pillow. Black star stood over him grinning. He held out his hand and gingerly Kid took it, rising so they stood face to face. There was a silence. The pair stood staring into each other's eyes. Kid remembering screamed when he remembered his hair and rushed out. Black Star remained very still with an odd look on his face.
Kid leaped over a freaked out Maka (who he noticed had a very passionate Soul glued to her lips-when had they?...oh wait, he had knocked them into each other. Ah well.) and charged into the bathroom followed by a trail of dust. Whipping out scissors and a comb from literally nowhere he proceeded to undo the horror that had happened to his symmetrical hair. Except for those damn white stripes! What cruel god would give such a perfect person such a hideous imperfection? He ignored the shrieking coming form the hallway and a fuming Maka stomping by and worked some minor magic.
The entire group of housmates gathered around the large table as Tsubaki grinned at them. A pink Maka wouldn't make eye contact with the bruised Soul sitting acrossed from her, and a well styled Kid glared at the table, brushing pieces of hair this way and that. Black Star and Patty sat motionless, locked in an arm wrestle to the death. Liz was the only person absent but no one thought to question why….in retrospect it may have saved them some agony. A cheerful Tsubaki in a cute little apron began dishing out the breakfast she had volunteered to make. She was not known to cook and the group was excited to try her food. Anything Tsubaki made was surly created with precision and care! But faces began to darken as the meal was put before them. Both Kid and Patty became far too distracted by the "food". Maka gasped. Soul shuddered. "Omelet!" Tsubaki announced. "That's not an omelet." Kid muttered. Patty just cheered and proceeded to eat. "Crap, I have a thing" Soul announced, leaping up. Out of compassion, he grabbed Maka's hand as she was far to freaked out to look away from the dish. The pair disappeared leaving Kid and Black Star. And whatever it was sitting in front of them. Black Star's face grew pale as Tsubaki looked at him expectantly. She had never cooked for him before. Thank any god that was listening! She switched her gaze to Kid. Like a trapped animal, he felt panic rise and knew there was no getting away. Patty burped and left the table. Staring at each other, they both raised a small forkful. A bite, and the world collapsed. Tsubaki gave a low chuckle "ah I love cooking." She wandered off.
"Should we wake them?" "Nah. Remember this morning?" "I DO!" "Shut up Soul.""Where's Liz?" "Oh! She called from the hospital. Something about a stomach pump."
A groggy Kid tried to follow the voices. But he kept getting interrupted by a squeaking sound. And he was just so comfy! Sighing, he forced open his eyes. Oh the colors! Reds and blues and greens. And little stars danced just for him. "Why's he looking at us like that?" "Well we did abandon him." "Oh Black Star just moved!" Kid felt the floor shift. As Black Star rose, Kid's head slipped into his lap. They stared into each other's eyes, one from above and the other below. Kid's face lit up. "pretty" he mumbled, stroking Black Star's face. A sharp cold wind blew across the group standing over him. It was only made worse when Black Star's response was a giggle; followed by caressing of Kid's hair. Soul began to slowly back away, Maka clung to Patty's arm in terror. "They're drugged! The food's done some weird stuff to them!"
Kid began to take in the world around him. His gaze focused on Maka. She screamed as he lept from his position on the floor and charged at her. In an instant Soul was between them with a hand on Kid's chest. The dark haired boy considered this for a moment, then with the marker meant for Maka, began to doodle whiskers (uneaven whiskers!) on Soul's face. Black Star fell backward in a pile of hysterical giggles and Liz chose to faint to escape the craziness that had taken over her world. Soul had frozen so when Kid had finished he moved around and began to doodle on the similarly stunned Maka. He then skipped down the hallway trailing his marker along the wall behind him, Black Star chasing after him.
The plan was this: Find Kid and Black Star, stop them from causing trouble, and try and get them home to let the effects of breakfast wear off. "Easier said than done, apparently" Maka thought as she charged around yet another corner. They didn't seem to be anywhere in the town. She skidded to a halt in the town square where Soul was already waiting. Maka leaned against the wall next to him to catch her breath. He glanced over at her. "No luck?" "Nope." The situation was comfortable without any sign of the earlier mishap. "Well, what now?" Soul asked. But there was no time for a reply because two insane blurs dashed across the square cacklingand spray painting everything in sight . The two nutty blurs looked exactly like Kid and Black Star. Maka and Soul leapt into action. Soul transformed. Snatching the scythe up ,Maka launched an attack at the road in front of the two running boys. The explosion knocked them clean off their feet and out of consciousness in one quick and clean swipe that Maka couldn't help but be proud of. "Nice one!" Soul chuckled. After Soul switched back they both threw a boy over their shoulders and proceeded back to the house. " So…how are we supposed to keep Tsubaki out of the kitchen from now on?" "Maybe tell her the truth? That she can't cook to save a life? That infact not cooking would save a life?" "Umm have you ever seen Tsubaki upset? Trust me, the truth is not an option." "Whatever, Soul. Let's focus on curing these idiots first." Suddenly Maka grew very still. Soul glanced at her with concern now. Then he noticed the hand. Black Star(still asleep), draped over Maka's shoulder, had a very firm grasp on her butt. As one Soul and Maka sent him flying off into the distance. But it was fine because they were headed that way anyway. It was just going to be a much more painfull arrival for Black Star.
"They look so cuuuttttee!" Patty squealed, talking about the poisoned guys slumped on the couch. Kid groaned "Patty, your voice….make it stop!" She pouted and stormed off.A few seconds later a very solid ice-pack met kid's face thanks to her. "Well that oughta help!" and she stormed off again. Black Star (happy to have yet another chance to sleep today) snored like an angry chainsaw massacre. The fact that Patty's voice was irritating but the snoring wasn't is impossible to understand. Kid shrieked. "I'm bleeding!" just as Tsubaki wandered into the room. "Ohoh, that's just a prank ice-pack, don't worry." And she wandered away. Kid thought about what had just happened (Tsubaki play a prank? Involving blood?) and decided it seemed perfectly normal. Especially since the dude snoring away next to him had just sprouted horns. AGGGGGGGGG!
As Kid flailed and screamed about horns, Patty and a very pale Liz sat on his arms and stuffed various medication down his throat. Soul, standing nearby observed. "Yeah, that should make him feel much better." "Soul, help me!" shouted Maka, doing the exact same thing to Black Star. Soul just sighed and watched. He gave a very girlish shriek when he realized Tsubaki was standing right next to him…having a smoke? Dressed in a long cape and bowler hat, she was giggling at the scene before her with a cigarette dangling from her lips. She glanced at him and wanderd off. ' Did anyone SEE that? Right there. Tsubaki was…what the hell is going on?" Maka just shouted at him " If your not going to help than shut up Soul! Hmm. This isn't working. Is Kid any better?" Patty responded "No, but he looks a little greener than before. Maybe it's like and old radio. It just takes one good wack to set things right!" And she demonstrated by slamming her hand into Kid's back. This caused nothing but more screaming. It just kinda went on like that for the rest of the day. Manwhile, Tsubaki hung upside down from the refters of an attic somewhere catching up on her beauty sleep. As night fell, Kid and Black Star sat on the couch covered in bruises sobbing their eyes out in pain. The house was quite ( except for the sound of soft voices coming from Maka's room) everyone was more or less sane again (at this point Tsubaki is so crazy she's just off the charts) and all was well in the world. Untill and angry mob showed up at the door, slightly annoyed because the entire town had been painted with stuff like "Black Star" rules and "Symetry is Beauty". Unfortunatly Kid and Black Star didn't actually remember doing that stuff.