Spock was concerned.
Not that he would admit it, of course. No, he was too Vulcan for that. But he was bonded to a human, and Captain Kirk was behaving almost...stoically of late. Even their bond was quiet.
Therefore, Spock was concerned.
The missions of late had been stressful, as the Klingon Empire had reacted negatively to the incursion of Kronos during the Khan Incident. The Klingons held Kirk personally responsible for the death of their patrol, and the resulting skirmishes bordered on all-out battles.
It was, to borrow a phrase, a nightmare.
With every conflict the death toll multiplied, and Spock was concerned that Jim held himself accountable for every casualty. His bondmate had become more and more reserved each day, his easy laughter and carefree touches fading into absent-minded scowls and heavy sighs. Their bond was muted, smothered by the emotions Jim kept repressed.
"I'm the captain, Spock," he would say when asked. "I can bend, at best, but never break. I have to be in control – I'm responsible for so many lives. I bend, but don't break, and somehow, I get through."
"Captain...Jim. You cannot be everything in every moment. It is only human for you to experience weaknesses; it is normal – it is acceptable."
"But it isn't, Spock. I think it's even written in the Captain's Oath somewhere: Keep your shirt tucked in; Go down with the ship; Never leave anyone behind; Never give up, never surrender."
No argument Spock made in reply ever eased the tension in his captain. Something had to be done; emotional repression was not the same as emotional control, and Spock knew from personal experience that repressed emotions sought release – and the longer it took them to find it, the more violent the outlet once it was discovered.
What Jim needed, he decided, was a safe way to escape his troubling emotions and responsibility to be in control – and Spock had an idea about how to facilitate it.
That night in their quarters, Spock wrapped his arms around his captain as Jim sat at his desk, bent over a PADD, reading.
"Spock..." Jim protested weakly, not truly interested in the report, but unwilling to give up his role as 'captain' for even time with Spock. He was no match for the tender ministrations of his lover, however, and quickly surrendered to the coolness of Spock's mouth as it traveled down his neck and to his shoulder. Jim turned in Spock's arms, PADD left abandoned on the desk behind him. With a sigh, he let his head fall to the side, giving Spock room to suck a sweet bruise into his skin and lave the spot with his tongue.
Spock's tongue was rougher than a human's, and the sensation of it combined with the Vulcan's lower body temperature made Jim shiver with every rasp of the muscle over his clavicle. He moaned, sliding his fingers into Spock's hair, clinging to his lover as his legs began to tremble.
The mindless tugging of Jim's fingers and the soft, helpless gasps he made enflamed Spock, but he beat back the waves of lust – this, tonight, was for Jim.
Spock nipped hard at the juncture of Jim's neck and shoulder, making his captain gasp and spasm once. Lifting Jim into his arms, he carried his mate to their bed, laying the other man gently on the mattress. Jim's eyes were glazed with pleasure, but his muscles were still tense with unconscious anxiety. Moving slowly, Spock drew the clothes from his captain's body, trailing soft touches and gentle kisses along the exposed flesh as he went.
The process was delicate, tender, and when Jim tried to reach for Spock and reciprocate, the Vulcan seized his wrists firmly and pinned them above his head with one hand. With the other, he pulled a soft strip of cloth from beneath the pillows where he'd hidden it earlier and wound it around Jim's wrists, tying them firmly, but gently, to the headboard. His captain raised blonde eyebrows at him, a small, slightly uncomfortable half-smile quirking his lips.
Spock kissed those lips softly, slowly exploring that hot mouth with his tongue, massaging Jim's taught body with his long fingers until he felt the captain begin to relax. When Spock pulled back, the look in those blue eyes was still wary, but accepting. Spock licked his way down Jim's body, holding tightly to the man's thighs as he blew a cool breath over his captain's cock.
Jim groaned, his eyes closing.
They flew open again as another band of soft fabric wrapped snugly around his left ankle. He tugged reflexively, but the strip was firmly secured somewhere under the bed.
Jim was panting, eyes wide, anxiety tripping along his skin like water over stones in a brook. Spock caressed him sweetly, pressing his fingers into the tense muscles, feathering kisses over the warm skin. When he paused in his ministrations to secure Jim's other ankle, the anxiety flared into bright fear. Jim resisted, but even the strength of is toned, muscled legs could resist the steady pressure of the Vulcan's pull, and soon enough, Jim was secured, spread open for Spock and helpless.
The Vulcan stared into his bondmate's eyes as he rose to kiss Jim, sending gentle waves of reassurance through the muted bond. The captain's fear was good, necessary, even, but could not be allowed to dissolve into panic.
Jim calmed, his terror cooled, but not quelled.
Satisfied, Spock lay himself along Jim's body, pressing into his heat and allowing his fingers to trail down to Jim's erection. Fear had calmed – but not killed – his ardor, and the firm strokes of Spock's hand brought it back to life. Jim groaned deeply.
Spock shifted so he could take Jim in both hands, firmly massaging his dick with smooth, loving strokes, rolling it between his palms and sliding his fingers up and down the warm flesh. When the captain began to shift his hips, straining slightly against the restraints, Spock slid further down his lover's body. He breathed softly over Jim's hardness, smoothing his hand's down Jim's thighs as he took the swollen member in his mouth.
Jim gasped, then groaned as though his heart were being torn out, pulling at his bonds helplessly. Spock bobbed slowly, drawing out each motion, sucking hard when he reached the root of Jim's cock and pulling off the head with a soft pop. Jim's moans grew louder with every repetition, hips gyrating as he struggled to thrust into the slick cavern of Spock's mouth.
Suddenly Jim went rigid, breath hitching in his lungs, fingers and toes curling. Spock pulled off of him, seizing him by the base of the cock and halting Jim's impending orgasm. Jim shuddered, groaning in frustration as his body slowly relaxed.
"Spock!" he cried, thoroughly unhappy about the interruption. The Vulcan merely fixed stern brown eyes on him, and he fell silent once more.
Spock returned to massaging Jim's slightly-wilted dick back to full hardness, watching for his captain's eyes to drift closed before flirting his touches lower.
Jim's sphincter was pulsing, throbbing in time with the gentle ministrations on his cock. Spock trailed his fingers over the pucker, rubbing it softly, massaging it, dipping his littlest finger ever-so-slightly inside.
Jim jumped once at the intrusion, fear spiking through him once more.
"Spock..." Jim warned hesitantly. Spock knew that Jim wanted the lube they kept in the bedside table, but instead of getting it, the Vulcan silenced his captain again with a glare. Jim began to struggle in earnest, but Spock pinned his hips down with one hand and slid a single finger – dry – into his lover.
Jim cried out, wriggling madly, but Spock pressed on, moving the finger around, in and out, working the tight muscle.
When he added another finger, Jim whimpered.
Spock was slow and gentle, not wanting to truly harm his bondmate. Through his fingers he sent waves of lust into Jim; through the fog of their bond, he drew forth all the negative emotions his captain had been hiding away.
Jim wailed as Spock twisted his fingers, pressing them against his lover's prostate, wringing as much sensation out of the human as he possibly could, twining those feelings with the dark emotions, feeding the need for release that sprang from both sources. Swallowing Jim's dick again, Spock mouthed him slowly, driving his captain steadily higher, until he was begging in sharp pants and gulping breaths.
With a final, sharp twist of his fingers and a forceful suck as he pulled off of Jim, Spock tipped his bondmate over the edge, rubbing his thumb into Jim's perineum to enhance his climax.
Come for me, Jim, he whispered into their bond. Break for me.
Jim didn't simply break; he shattered, the force of his orgasm giving him the strength to snap one of the restraints as his body jerked wildly. The bond blew open, the fog of emotion giving way to clear rays of light as all the things Jim had kept buried were set free. He nearly screamed from the intensity of it – and then he burst into wracking sobs.
Spock withdrew from him gently, releasing the remaining bonds and pulling Jim into his arms. The human curled up against his cooler body, burrowing his face into the cool skin of Spock's neck as he cried. The Vulcan resisted the urge to console his bondmate, instead simply comforting him, encouraging the outpouring of emotion even as he let his love for Jim flood into the restored bond.
Jim's muscles spasmed every few minutes with aftershocks from his intense climax, the shuddering caused by his sobs only increasing the frequency of the pleasurable tremors. The effect was overwhelming, and he clung even more tightly to Spock.
When Jim finally calmed, the sobs reduced to occasional hiccups and the tremors gone, he pulled his face from Spock's shoulder and looked up into the chocolate eyes of his lover.
"God I love you," he muttered. "Thank you."
"You are welcome, Jim," came the tender reply, accompanied by a torrent of love lighting up their bond and a gentle kiss cooling the flushed skin of his forehead.
For the first time since Pike had informed him of his demotion, Jim felt at peace.
Thanks for reading! I'm looking for some good fanart of Jim specifically to put with this piece...preferably of him tied up! Let me know if you're willing to contribute.
PS, this is my first time writing sex, let alone slash. Let me know if it works, and if I should add another chapter from Jim's POV?