Summary: When Ethan told Justin to leave he did, but he also left Brian. They both want each other back and they get each other back but that is where the hard work begins. And can Brian get back the Justin he fell in love with before the bashing and Brian's not so nice treatment of him. Can Justin get Brian to change his ways or learn to live with them?

This story isn't about their time apart but them getting back together and trying to overcome they difficulties in their turbulent relationship so may seem like it moves really fast.

A/N First chapter just gives closure to the scenes before and after our best boys broke up, everything after is alternate universe, well sort of some events may be similar but mostly completely different.

When he left Ethan's, Justin felt relief that he didn't really care. He never loved Ethan most of the time they had sex he imagined it was Brian he was pounding in and out of, quite hard to imagine considering that anyone else he was with he would top, he had only ever bottomed with Brian. But by imagining he was with Brian he ensured he wouldn't end up falling in love with him because after a while the picnics didn't mean anything and after the first time he soon realized that it was only Brian he wanted to do those things with. Justin sighed in resignation because he knew that he wouldn't be doing ANYTHING with Brian from now on.

He entered the left silently and want over to thei- Brian's bed. He hoped Brian was asleep, no such luck. "Come to bed Justin," Justin didn't fail to notice the pride that entered his voice, did he think he had won?

"I can't, I'm not staying." However much he tried he couldn't stop the tremble entering his voice.

"You choose him." It wasn't question.

"No," Justin felt compelled to answer it anyway, "he doesn't want me anymore and even if he did its not him I love."

"Why are you going then? If you want to stay then stay." Brian didn't want to sound desperate but he was however he was damned if he was going to tell Justin that, he was the one that had cheated on him with fucking Ian and broke every damn rule that was his idea while he had followed everyone of them like his frigid mother following the bible.

"I want to, but everyday it gets increasing obvious that its not what you want. If you could turn back time you would have never picked me up if we're being honest and you are always honest so every time you say you won't love me and won't be monogamous, it must have some truth. I never listened because I honestly believed you loved me, and on some level I believe you do but if I'm being honest I almost wished you'd never picked me up either because I love you so damn much but I wanted to hurt you and before everything happened and I'm not just talking bout you and me, before I fucked up my family and made someone want to take my life I wouldn't of dreamed of hurting someone I love. I've changed Brian and I fucking hate what I've become and I know I've got no one to blame but myself because you and all of Liberty Avenue told me what and how it was but I though I could change you. I have to leave now because if I don't I never will. Justin sucked in a breathe gathering his thoughts, "and if, in the far off future I have any chance of feeling even half the things I feel for out then I need to grab it, but I need to try to get back to who I was before you became my world, again no fault but my own. I will never forget you Brian but when Rage is over, tomorrow I will be out of your life forever and you can forget me. I wish it could be different I really do." Then, in silence Justin was packing a bag with enough stuff for a few nights, he'd already called Daphne and she was expecting him probably with a cup of coco and a shoulder for him to cry on.

Brian just sat and watch him pack, while a voice in his head was telling not to let him walk out of his life like this but it wasn't loud enough to tell him that by letting him go it wold save Justin from even more heart ache in the future. Brian himeself wasn't feel all that different to when he almost lost Justin at the prom but elt better because he knew by leaving he wasn't going to get as hurt as he was by staying.

"Your silence say's it all Brian. I'M truly sorry for staying even thoygh you told me to leave and that you didn't want me here."

And with his final words Justin left and the silence in the loft that followed his departure near deafening.

Brian went to the rage party the next night fucking everything in sight including himself.

2 weeks later

2 weeks later found Brian in the baths fucking anything that wasn't blonde, while Justin was moving into a new apartment. He said it was new and an apartment but it was probably older than his mum and Debbie put together and was more like a one room hovel.

3 weeks later

A week after that found Brian ringing up a hustler that had blonde hair and blue eyes but not that sunshine smile never that sunshine smile. Justin willing his phone to ring but knowing it wouldn't, affirmative of his beliefs that he didn't care, at least not enough.

1 month later

A month later found them both in Babylon about to bump into each other after their split, thus started to heal the wouns created in the others separation.