Yo peeps! Loki writes again…though this is NOT necessarily GOOD…OK, well Uno liked my last 2 fics, and I co-wrote this with her, though I would have liked to do a SERIOUS fic, yes, I HAD one started! I really have no control since this IS her computer…:o) Now for the fic! (Just so you know Uno is her level 100 Charizard on Pokemon red. No kidding! Only one rare candy, none of that cheap multiplying…Ok, NOW for the fic!) Also, this drags a LOT but its hysterical at times, so hang in there…Next time it'll be less of a cliché, ok? Also, we don't own anyone.
Potter: Oh no, those crazy people are back!
Uno: So we are!
Ron: Hey, I don't know you! Are you as crazy as the rest of them?
Uno: Yes, only more so, though I can't HOPE to compete with Bongohead Loki.
Potter: You're not going to SING again, are you?
Police Chief: Actually, we ARE.
Loki: We have come to give Potter support for his battle against Lord Voldemort.
Uno+Loki together: Which he will invariably lose, and come out heavily scarred.
Suddenly, our championship soccer team, the Green Geckoes (HUAH!! HUAH! RAH RAH RAH!!! THE GECKO TEAM!! TARANTARA!! RA RA RA BOOM! Sorry, Loki was an Army brat for 11 years) appears and we sing our anthem. (To the tune of Be our Guest from Disney's Beauty and the Beast)
Team: Be the best, be the best, put your skills up to the test!
Run in circles all around them make them feel like idiots!
If they somehow score against us, then our coaches start to cuss,
Kick the ball up in their faces, make their pimples ooze out puss…
Kick the ball with a whack, give them all a heart attack
And to win this easy match, then our goalie has to catch,
All the balls that come her way, while from the sidelines we all say: (See top to continue never ending song.)
Ron: I'm scared.
(Neville cowers under the bed. Exit team, enter Maybel and sisters.)
Maybel and co., Uno and Loki (to Harry): Go ye hero go to glory though ye die in combat gory, ye shall live in song and story, go to immortality!
Harry: If I'm dead, how am I immortal? I don't think I like this song very much…
(Maybel and co. continue singing, ignoring Harry's complaints.): Go to death and go to slaughter! Die, die and every Cornish daughter, with her tears your grave shall water, go ye hero go and die!
Harry: I DEFINETLY don't like this song. This is frightening. I'm going to go write to Sirius. (Exit Harry.)
Chorus: Go ye hero go and die, go ye hero go and die!
(Enter Chief of Police dressed as Harry.)
Policeman aka Harry: I observe to great distress, all the risks you on me press, and of reference a lack, to my chance of coming back! Still, perhaps it would be wise, not to carp or criticize, for its very evident these attentions are well meant!
Chorus: Yes it's very evident, our attentions are well meant!
Enter Sirius with Harry.
Sirius: What's going on here?!
Maybel: Go and do your best endeavor and before all links we sever, we shall say farewell forever, go to glory and the grave!
Chorus: Go to glory and the grave! For your foe is fierce and ruthless false unmerciful and truthless, young and tender, old and toothless, all in vain their mercy crave!
Sirius: I order you to stop! Now, what's going on here?
Seamus, Dean, Neville: AAH!!! SIRIUS BLACK!!!!
Sirius: Ah, shut up! Stupefy! [the authors realize this is out of character, but it's OUR fic!]
Ron: Permit me. These people are terrorizing Harry! They've been bothering us, for, what is it, three fanfics? (Loki and Uno nod.) See? They've made some Frederick be making advances on Hermione, and they turned Harry into a cow!
Harry: (Nodding vigorously.) Then they shipped me off to Durmstrang and turned our dorm into Ravenclaw…er-girls?
Loki: I TOLD you, Gryffindor girls, and you people are still messed up.
Uno: Loki, drop it. They've had enough of that. Song break!
Harry: Sirius, run. (Slaps himself on his forehead with a paperback book.)
Sirius: Nonsense, Harry. They can't be THAT bad!
Ron: Well, don't say we didn't WARN you…
Loki: Er, lets think! Oh, why not! Never mind the Why and Wherefore!
All: We've done that!
Loki: So we have. Uno?
Uno: The list song! Can we sing that?
Loki: Of course!
Uno+Loki: As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list! I've got a little list! Of society offenders who might well be underground, and who never would be missed, who never would be missed!
Harry to Sirius: Sirius, do you think that it's possible to disarm them of their voices?
Sirius: I wouldn't know.
Harry: Well it made the spider drop me…[the authors find that this is very funny. You will notice in Loki's fic, Revenge of the Slow Pokemon, that the reasons for this analogy are made clear!]
Uno: Well, lets do the A Rollicking Band of Pirates We!
Loki: I'll be the police, Uno, you be the pirates!
Uno: A rollicking band of pirates we, who tired of tossing on the sea, are trying their hands at a burglary, with weapons grim and gory!
Loki: Hush hush! I hear them on the manor poaching, with stealthy steps the pirates are approaching!
Uno: We are not coming for plate or gold, a story General Stanley's told, we seek a penalty fifty-fold for General Stanley's story!
Loki: They seek a penalty!
Uno: Fifty-fold, we seek a penalty
Loki: Fifty-fold! They seek a penalty fifty-fold
Uno+Loki: For General Stanley's story!
Sirius: That WAS scary. (Takes hands off his ears.)
Harry: Oh, Sirius, whatever shall we do!
Uno: Well, actually Harry, since we're the authors, you can't a. Leave. B. Make us shut up. Or, C. Kill us, or hurt us in any way!
Loki: Its WONDERFUL to be an author isn't it? Harry, writing is a joy!
Harry: Not for me. You should see what other writers have done to me! Look, here's something Xanthia Morgan did to me! (Shows round scar on chest.) And she almost cut off my hand!
Sirius: Wait, a moment, I DID like Glynnis…So good things CAN happen…
Harry: I didn't say they couldn't. There are some nice fics where I get to live with you, BUT, they usually involve mushy "I love you" scenes which make us sound both gay and as though we suddenly materialized out of Gone With the Wind.
Uno: THAT MOVIE IS STUPID!! LOKI, STOP!!!
Loki: No, the MOVIE was good, though I don't see where she got the title, and I need to write a fanfic about it and rent the sequel since the ending sucked.
Ron: This is SO pointless.
Harry: I agree. It's time to exit!
Loki: OH NO YOU DON'T!!
Uno: For once I agree with Harry. Let's make it a TO BE CONTINUED…
Loki: FINE!! It's your computer. And I have a BRILLIANT idea of how to torture Harry next…
Sirius: Don't even THINK about it…(Loki sticks her toungue out, red from all the Gatorade she drank at soccer.) DON'T TOUCH MY GODSON! (Lunges at Loki, who dodges, and types…)
TO BE CONTINUED…(drum roll…)
(Uno: Please visit my Petz website! http://www.expage.com/superpetz2000 cya there!)
Well, ya know the disclaimer. Disney owns Be our Guest (though not the lyrics used in this), we own us, Nintendo owns Pokemon, like Charizard, Gilbert and Sullivan own all the songs except Be our Guest, some company and dead lady own Gone With the Wind (their names escape us)also, Uno, Fluzzball, and AnutherDumblonde own Super Petz 2000, PF Magic owns Petz. Boring, wasn't it? We'll continue soon, it won't be as cliché-ish, though it may start that way, the Voldemort v. Harry scene will be written NORMALLY…Loki writing normally? Ha. Well, please read and review, and cya!