Hello peple I decided to change some of the wording in a few chapters but its not affecting anything and yeah...oh yes this is Botan's POV

DISCLAIMERS: I DON'T OWN YUYU HAKUSHO!

I walked into the bustling hall way. Carefully avoiding ogres and huge piles of paper that seemed to move by themself. When half way toward Koenma's office I felt a sudden chill run down my spine that caused me to an all out sprint toward Koenma's office. From some miraculous reason, I manage to avoid the ogres and get to Koenma's office, and bust open the door.

Breathing shallowly I looked at a teenage Koenma. He wore a sad, depressing, and even guilty look on his face. I slowly struggled to find my voice, even if it could be found, I doubt I could even hear myself think, neverless talk over the dangrously beating in my chest.

" Is something wrong Koenma." My broken voice could bearly be heard as I asked my question. Completely forgetting formalities, I just need to know what on earth caused that chill, the sudden fear that had surface for no apparent reason.

Koenma looked down, his chestnut brown bangs hidding his amber eyes, casting a shadow over his face. But I could still see the sadness and the guilt in his eyes, it was slowly eating him away.

" Botan...they're gone...they..." Koenma trailed off when he saw me look down, tears threatening to fall down my own closed eyes.
I knew something was wrong that very moment I felt the cold sensation, but I wouldn't allow myself to believe it...never.

My knees got weak, and I collapsed to the floor. My tears fell rapidly as I shook my head in complete disbelief and dispair. "N-no! They can't die! No!" I shooked my head even more, and cried into my hands. Then the next thing I knew I was surrounded by the comforting darkness.

When I woke up, Koenma told me that I was unconscious for nearly a week. I fainted from the news, and that got him even more upset and worried about me, because he saw me as a little sister more than an employee. And like a overly protective brother, he wanted answers. Every moment he spend with me, he would plague my with questions, and with every question asked I refuse to answer. I would shut my mouth, clutch my comforter, and shaking my head or I would just look down and stay silent.

I thought maybe I should answer at least one question to ease his worry, he has been very supported, even if all he would do sometimes is ask questions. Sometimes he would be very sweet when he would come in with a bouquet of flowers, and tell me stories that he once told me when I was just alittle girl at Reikai. Fairy tales about beautiful princesses, her prince charming, demons, fairys, oh the list could just go on. Thoses stories gave me comfort during my vulnerable momments in life. Sometimes I would could even manage a small smile as I watch him rave on and on about the stories.

Koenma came as always and started his normal routine. He would smile and say his normal greeting, ask how I was and if I wanted anything. I was expecting the normal stream of questions today and sat there waiting for them to be asked. But today was quite different, he confronted me with my own despire.

" Botan, you know I love you like a little sister right? " He pause and waited for me to nod my head in agreement. " And as you know, I would love to help you with anything all you need is to ask me. But it pains me to hear from Ayame that you'er been crying yourself to sleep since incident. "

He pause again as if waiting for me to answer before going on. " I know that you were extremly close to them, I was too, but I just want you to know that this is affecting your job, and more importantly your health. If I could I would bring them back to life I would, but I can't. I've tryed, lord knows I've tryed but I can't. Botan I know that your still mourning but if you keep this up I know they won't stay still in their grave because of your mourning."

I sighed and looked down, I opened my mouth and answered, much to his surprise. "Koenma-sama you know I love you like the older brother I never had but...I just couldn't come to you...not yet. I was very close to them, I loved them so much...and I was so close to them..." I sturggled to keep talking, trying to keep my sobs undercontrol.

" I just can't get over the fact that their dead! I loved every one on them so much and now there gone...not to mention Kurama. I had just sorted out my feelings for him and now he's gone! I didn't even get a chance to tell him that I l-love him. " I gasped a breath and wanted to cry even more now.

Koenma looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, he held on to me, trying to calm me down. " Well I don't suppose telling you they just got reincarnated is going to make you feel any better huh? "

" Thats wonderful to hear Koenma-sama..." I looked down and whispered bitterly.

" Hmm, I was thinking that at this point, if you want Botan, you could resign you postion as Deity fo Death for now and live a normal human life to help you get past your grieving. " I looked shocked at Koenma for a second.

" What? Koenma-sama you can't! I know I neglected my duties but I swear I'll start to go back to work tomorrow. " I nearly screamed out, I just lost so much of my love ones, now I'm going to lose my job as well.

" Botan your not listening to me. All I'm saying is go down to Nigenkai and live a normal life and your postion as Deity of Death is going to be there waiting for you. " Koenma chuckled out.

" So if I said yes, then when I'm done living my life am I able to get my job back? " I inquired softly.

I looked hopefully at a smiling Koenma, " Yes, you may have your job back. After your done with your human life. "

I smiled sweetly. " Okay, I think I want to be reincarnated again Koenma-sama. But can I ask you a favor? " Koenma nodded. " Can I keep my memories when I'm reincarnated? I want to still grieve your deaths, and remember my first love."

Koenma smiled faded " I'll see what I can do. "

End of Chapter 1