AN: All of the characters and places your recognize belong to the wonderful Stepenie Meyer or someone else. The fictional Bellhaven and this story line is mine.

Eddie,

I know you're not expecting this. Hell, I wasn't expecting this. It's been nine years. Nine years since our brotherly devotion/camaraderie/whatthefuckever has gone down the fucking shit hole. I'm not going to lie to you and make you feel better by saying it wasn't your fault. It was…partially. It killed me to see that shit, man, but after nine years I think I realized that you were a fifteen year old that had hormones taller than the statue of liberty and Maria…well, she was Maria.

I knew that she was cheating on me, Bro, but I honestly never thought that it was on my brother who was three years younger than me. And I think that I was an asshole about it. The only thing that was nice about the whole clusterfuck is the fact that you only had to endure one month of me after that mess before I went of to college.

I don't know what happened to you after I left, by the way. I only talked to mom every day, and she never told me about you and I never asked. The only thing I know about you is that the beating I gave you didn't kill you…or leave any permanent physical scaring.

No matter what you did, Ed, you didn't deserve that. I'm so fucking sorry for that. And I'm even more sorry that I'll never be able to tell you this in person like I've been planning to when I got home from this desert.

Iraq is worse than I thought it would be. When I turn around sometimes I'm not sure who's the enemy and who's the friend and I'm beginning to think that everyone's a little bit of everything. I shouldn't be here. I should be at home with my lovely wife and my two kids, and you should be there with them too. You should be that cool uncle that buys them all the toys I don't want you to get them. You should be taking my boy out for baseball games and taking my girl to the fair so that Bella and I can take some time off.

But because of our mistakes, that will never happen the way I intended it.

Honestly, you're only getting this letter if I'm dead. Because otherwise I'd definitely be telling this to your ugly mug.

It was at this moment that Edward had finally realized why his brother would be writing to him from Iraq. It hadn't made sense. Well, the whole thing about it coming from Iraq had made perfect sense, from the time when they were kids Edward had always known that his brother would end up in the army. His brother was that type of guy. The type to be Homecoming King, take the hottest girl to prom, but the best fucking Quarterback, have a white picket fence with a beautiful wife, and make his money by protecting the country he'd always said he'd loved. After that, his brother was going to be an honored veteran of war who told stories to his boy over beers. He was going to be the best dad. He was going to be the better man.

Even though they hadn't spoken to each other like brothers should in nine years, Edward had held some hope that somehow that would have changed. His brother was the type of man to fix things…and Edward had been wanting to fix things for years. For years he'd tried to get up the courage, but like the asshole that he was, he found it too difficult to pick up the phone and call as the numbers changed-always being forwarded on from his mother. Edward knew if it was one person that his brother kept in touch with, it was their mother, and their mother, Esme, always let Edward know if something was going on.

Edward has a sister in law named Isabella, or Bella, who mom wouldn't shut up about. Edward was also an Uncle to two kids, a girl, Carlie, and a boy, Anthony…

Edward hadn't been there for any of it. Sometimes he wondered if this Bella even knew he existed. Knowing his brother as Edward did, and despite their problems Edward knew his brother better than anyone, she didn't. His brother wouldn't have wanted to share that dark stain with anyone. Probably, Edward thought, so that his brother wouldn't have to tell anyone he was related to such an asshole. Edward wouldn't have blamed him.

But none of that 'family discord' mattered to Edward when he read the word 'dead'. Because that wasn't supposed to happen. Even after nine years Edward had held hope that someday his brother would forgive him and that Edward would be able to meet his sister and law and his niece and nephew, and he'd be the cool Uncle that he should be.

When they were younger, that's how they knew things would be. When they were innocent. When they were still alive. Edward had known that through all of this, he and his brother would walk out of it together, alive, and still close. They'd end up someday in their eighties together and joke about that time way back when, when one of them had chosen the wrong girl and it had ended up disastrous.

Well, that wasn't going to happen anymore.

Edward's eyes felt misty and he wiped the tears away before they'd even formed, and continued reading. This time it was with a new fervor. He was going to memorize every last bit of what his brother was giving him. His brother's last words. They were sacred.

That's a fucking shocker, right? I'm not going to spout shit about it being my honor to die for my country because I can tell you now it shouldn't be my time. I'm supposed to be in this world. To see my baby girl get married, hopefully in seventy years, and to see my son rip this world apart like I did. Like you even did. I won't even be able to see my grandchildren…

But, hey, I'm six fet under so it's not as if I'll be beating the walls down in tears. Although…the thought of it right now even has me teary eyed. I'm not lying to you. You're the only person I never lied to, even when I thought I hated you.

I'm not only writing this as an apology, Edward, even if I'm so fucking sorry I never got to tell you goodbye, or to hug you, or to see you graduate college (which shocked the hell out of me by the way). No, I'm writing this letter because I want to give you all that I have ever gotten in the world, and hope that you take care of the three of them.

I'm speaking about my family, Edward. Not just our parents, but my wife…my kids. They're more than my world, Eddie, they're my universe. They're why I get up every day and why I breathe, and why I open my eyes, and why I live. Without them, my life would be more than worthless.

First, there's Bella. And let me tell you, she's so much more gorgeous than Maria ever was. Remember when I spouted some shit like 'never another Maria'? Yeah, that came around to bite me in the ass. The first time I looked at Bella I thought she'd be exactly like Maria, because she was just so gorgeous and she had men falling at her feet. I was so wrong, first off, because she was way more gorgeous than Maria, and second, because she wasn't a bitch. She's got this fucking talent for cooking, even better than Mom at some dishes…don't fucking smirk, Bro, it's true. I like to tell her that I only keep her around for her cooking, but then she smacks me with her spatula, even if she knows I'm kidding.

Then there's Carlie. She's got the heart of her mother, and she definitely get's her looks from me and Dad. Except for she's got your eyes, and I think they look pretty damn nice. I remember Bella wondering where the hell they came from, because even Dad's eyes aren't as green as yours. She's a little thing, but always running around trying to talk to people and acting way to damn mature for her age. I mean, Christ, she was only five when I left and she'd talk to adults like tomorrow was her fiftieth birthday. Bella likes to tell me it has to be me, because she wasn't that way, but I know for a fact that it's a little piece of you. You can laugh at me, but I knew you when you were five, jackass, and you were so much like her.

Tony? He's my little man. He's probably around three years old now, and he's the spitting image of Bella. You can't deny it. He's got the same thick mahogany hair and the beautiful brown eyes. His smile though-that's all yours. He had the panty dropping smirk down pat before he could speak coherently. What kills me the most is that, unlike Carlie and Bella, Tony isn't going to remember me at all. I think about how Dad and I were, how Dad and you were, and I know that all I ever wanted was to give him those happy memories.

I wanted to give all of them those happy memories they deserve.

I can't, but I'm asking you to.

They're my family, Edward, and I love them as much as I love you. If I'm gone that means I'm not there, and I want you to take care of them. Mom and Dad could do it, sure, but it has to be you.

I'm apologizing for what I did, and hoping to heal our wounds, by giving you the chance that I won't have. Take care of them. If you don't want to do it for me, at least do it for yourself. They're some amazing people, my family, and I think they'll love you too.

With all the love I never told you about,

Jasper.

p.s. Don't you dare mock my seriousness in this letter. No, all my feelings did not make me grow a vagina. Grow up.

And despite the fact that a part of Edward was dying, that part he'd devoted to his brother Jasper, Edward laughed, for even in death Jasper knew exactly what Edward was thinking, and exactly how to make him smile.

AN: So, there you go. This, is a prologue. Leave me reviews...should I...should I not.

I'm planning a weekly/biweekly posting, or sooner if I feel like it. I need a beta, so if you're willing, let me know. Thanks for reading.

chic =]