The Best Years of Our Lives
...Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant...A fairground's painted swings...These foolish things remind me of you…
Danny looked up sharply.
"Reuven can you stop that?"
"Stop what?" I asked, raising my head from the table where it had rested, mesmerized at Danny's idle hair twirling.
"The humming, stop the humming. It's distracting," he replied, his eyes narrowed.
"I hadn't even realized I was doing it," I said as I felt a bit of heat rise to my cheeks, "I'm sorry."
"I was trying to read," he added.
"I know." I glanced at him quizzically, looking into Danny's deep blue eyes, waiting as he watched me. It seemed he was debating whether or not to say something. Slowly he opened his mouth, "What was the song?" he asked tentatively, pursing his lips a bit and looking up shyly. I smiled, sometimes Danny could be so transparent.
"It's called These Foolish Things," I informed him.
"Mmmm," Danny mumbled, non-committally, obviously unwilling to show he didn't know what that song was.
"You know, by Frank Sinatra," I added, aware that Danny didn't know what that meant.
He glanced to the side and said, "I've been so busy with reading Freud and studying the Talmud, I barely know anything that's been going on." I rolled my eyes, and color rose to Danny's cheeks.
"Hey, you know what? You should come to the movies with me," I announced.
"Why?" He replied, obviously confused at my suggestion.
"It would be a good chance to learn more about the world outside the Hasidic community. What are you going to do when you leave Hasidism, you'll have no knowledge of the world. You need to prepare yourself," I replied enthusiastically, trying my best to convince him to come with me.
"Fine..." he replied hesitantly, weighing his loyalty to his father against his need to experiment, knowing his father wouldn't approve of secular film. We arranged to meet on Sunday, in front of the library.
We met in the morning and started the walk towards the cinema under the sweltering sun. I glanced at Danny's serious face outlined in the sunlight and smiled. He acted as if he didn't notice but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up.
After I bought tickets for the two of us, we found seats in the crowded theater. We must've been quite the sight, an Orthodox and Hasidic boy, going to the movies together.
"So, what is this film about?" Danny whispered in my ear as we sat in the theater, waiting for the picture to come on. He glanced about, seemingly taking it all in. I doubt he'd seen a theater before.
"Oh, the Best Years of Our Lives? I replied, "It's about people who have to cope with a new life, after returning home from war." The big screen in front of us started flickering and the theater quieted instantly.
The movie played on as we watched heartbreaking scenes, one after another. I looked at Danny's face, mesmerized as a father came back home, and a joyful reunion was halted when his family noticed his missing hands. Even though I was upset, I couldn't help but smile at how Danny was so captured by the movie. I watched as the corners of his mouth turned down and heard him sigh. He sat back in his seat and leaned over to me, "Is that how it's going to be when I leave Hasidism?" I gave him a questioning look.
"What do you mean?" I replied.
"After I leave Hasidism, will everyone look at me like an outsider? Will I not fit in anymore? Not with my family, and not the world?"
I felt something touch my hand. Startled, I turned my head and saw Danny putting his hand into mine. I lifted my head back nervously to look at Danny again.
"I don't think it'll be like that Danny," I assured him, and gave his hand a squeeze. Somehow I expected him to remove his hand, but he kept it there for the rest of the movie, so I left mine as well.
We continued to watch the movie until the screen blacked out. There was a blanket of silence over the cinema. It took me a second but I gathered up my courage and whispered, "Danny why did you keep holding my hand?"
Danny looked back with a twinkle in his eyes and silently replied, "Isn't that what people do while watching movies?" He smiled broadly as he pulled his hand away, leaving me mildly confused.
As we walked out of the theater Danny said to me, "Thank you Reuven, that was very fun." I nodded, as if to say "any time" but I didn't feel like talking, until I heard Danny humming...Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant...A fairground's painted swings...These foolish things remind me of you...
"How do you remember that?" I asked, "You've never heard the song." Danny laughed, "How do I remember anything Reuven? Are you honestly surprised?" I shook my head. No, I wasn't.