Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto T.T

Sasuke's Sister

"Sasuke-kun! I didn't know you had an older sister!" In which Itachi is thoroughly amused, Sakura is horribly mistaken, and Sasuke wonders if introducing his brother and best friend was the brightest idea. ItaSaku /one-shot/ AU

"Sasuke-kun! I didn't know you had an older sister!"

The words, innocently-meant and cheerfully emitted, dropped like heavy rocks in the otherwise silent living room.

Itachi, the older sister, could only manage to look on with an incredulous, if oddly amused, gaze, piercing black eyes falling upon a naïve and smiling pink-haired girl standing in the middle of the room.

Behind Sakura was a frozen Sasuke, open-mouthed in horror at his brother being insulted in such a way.

That wasn't to say that he couldn't see where Sakura was coming from in her assumption—he had never specifically mentioned having an older brother to her, just an older sibling, leaving the gender to be a mystery. And, he found himself reluctantly agreeing with her as he looked at his brother: the traditional yukata, elegantly loose and tastefully designed, that Itachi was accustomed to wearing around their family's ancient compound, combined with the ebony locks of silken hair spilling down to mid-back and the pale skin stretching over high cheekbones did…sort of…make his nii-san look like a…

Sasuke gulped. Well, it made Itachi-nii look like a girl.

A very manly girl, he loyally defended his older brother. A very handsome one. But a girl nevertheless. Effeminate man at the best.

Sasuke honestly wondered if inviting Sakura to his family's annual reunion at the Uchiha compound had been the wisest decision. Having been friends with her for years, ever since their high-school days and into their current first year in college, she'd been highly enthusiastic at the chance to actually meet his relatives. At the time it had seemed like a good idea, seeing as he never could stand the annoying company that was the endless stream of Uchiha cousins, and at least Sakura would be around to save him from boredom. Naruto, of course, had not even been an option. Sasuke may have been desperate to escape the clutches of his diabolical and more-than-slightly unhinged family, but he wasn't stupid enough to invite a renowned prankster to a gathering of rich snobs. That, he snorted, was just a disaster begging to happen.

Though now, he reflected, glancing between his aniki and Sakura nervously, he had to question the intelligence of inviting Sakura. And, more especially, he had to take a while and ponder the madness that had induced him to introduce his beloved aniki and his best friend. Why had he thought it to be a good idea again?

"You're so beautiful!"

Sasuke narrowly avoided groaning in despair. Why was Sakura just digging herself into a deeper hole, and doing it with such sweet naivety at the same time? Undoubtedly he was the one Itachi was going to end up murdering and stealthily disposing of later on.

"S-Sakura—" Sasuke began weakly.

"If you don't mind me saying, of course," Sakura continued on blithely, unseeing of Sasuke's convulsive twitching behind her. She shot Sasuke's sister her best smile, genuinely pleased to have met the girl.

"Of course not," Itachi murmured, a slight smirk twisting his mouth upwards as he continued to stare at Sakura in blatant interest. His voice was low, quiet and cultured tones befitting an heir of the main Uchiha clan.

And it certainly did nothing to detract from Sakura's image of him as being a demure woman.

Sakura shuffled shyly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as Sasuke's sister kept her eyes locked on her. She supposed she was more than self-conscious around such a lovely person, she nervously admitted. Glaring pink hair and a relatively girlish body didn't do wonders for her self-assurance when it came to comparisons with others.

She gave a wistful sigh. She wasn't shallow by any means, preferring internal value to physical perfection, but it was difficult to avoid being attracted to the breath-taking aesthetics that the members of the Uchiha family seemed to be blessed with.

Her mouth shot open suddenly, and she immediately slapped an embarrassed hand over it, causing Itachi to raise a delicate eyebrow at her antics.

She directed a sheepish grin at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't even ask for your name yet." She paused, reaching up to cutely rub at her neck in a mortified gesture. "I'm Sakura, if Sasuke-kun hasn't already told you about me. Haruno Sakura."

Sasuke grew discomfited as he noticed his nii-san's gaze following the movement, with a little too much fascination in his dark orbs, and internally cursed Sakura's inherent ability to endear people to her with her little quirks and honest manner of speaking.

"Itachi." Itachi's monotonous reply seemed to startle Sakura, and she blinked up at him, noting how gracefully tall Sasuke's sister really was.

"Hm?" She squeaked.

Itach's mouth rose in the semblance of a smile, nearly making Sasuke choke on his own spit. Since when did his brother smile so easily? Usually you had to practically wrench it out of him with dire threats of torture and pain of death. "It is my name, Sakura-san."

Sakura couldn't help it, she laughed, completely aware of how rude it was but helpless to stop it. Her parents had named this other-worldly beauty 'weasel'? And it was such a…boyish-sounding name at that!

"Is something amusing?"

Sasuke winced as Sakura's loud laughter continued, hardly mocking but a sound of earnest mirth.

"I-I'm sorry," Sakura gasped out, and Sasuke took a horrified account at how warm Itachi's stare had become as he observed the petite pinkette. "Forgive me, Uchiha-chan—"

Sasuke nearly had a coronary and even Itachi tilted his head downwards, black hair sliding forwards to hide the amusement on his features.

"—your name just caught me off guard," she finished, laughter dying off as her face heated up. She was really horrible at this whole being-polite-thing, she realized in defeat. So far, she'd managed to make a complete fool of herself in front of Sasuke's sister. "I'm sorry for being rude."

"It is fine," Itachi replied, hints of humor puncturing his usually reserved tone, black eyes boring into green ones.

From his brother's face, Sasuke had the faintest notion that Itachi was actually enjoying himself, before casting it off as impossible. Itachi was a stick-in-the-mud whose favorite pastime was to act supremely indifferent to the world around him. No way was he actually enjoying Sakura, of all people. Cheerful, annoying, Sakura, who was a polar opposite in every imaginable way to his older brother. Aside from the fact that she thought he was a girl too.

When Sasuke returned from his thoughts to the world of the living, he heard Itachi mentioning quietly, "Sasuke has spoken often of you to us, Sakura-san."

Itachi, initiating conversation with someone? Once again, Sasuke nearly choked on his own spit, his frantic gasps for air going unnoticed by the other two occupants of the room.

Sakura grinned, turning around briefly to send a look at Sasuke that clearly said: Aww, Sasuke-kun! Despite your ice-cube exterior you do care! Turning back to the prettier Uchiha sibling (in her opinion), she said brightly, "I'm glad! Only," she frowned in a disgruntled way, "Sasuke's never really spoken about his family much."

Sasuke crossed his arms defensively as Itachi cast an infuriatingly knowing glance in his direction. Glaring, he muttered, "And for good reason too." If he hadn't been so stupid as to invite Sakura tonight, this whole situation could have been avoided. Unfortunately, Sakura heard his words.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura scolded lightly, "Stop being a pig!"

Itachi leant against the wall beside him, exceedingly entertained as he observed the vibrant pink-haired girl whirl and smack his foolish little brother on the arm. She was certainly an…interesting person, he could not help but conclude. Most of all in her dense observational skills, he smirked. Being mistaken for a woman was a rather…new experience for him, after all.

"Ouch! Dammit, Sakura, stop!"

Satisfied that Sasuke had been taught a sufficient lesson in manners, Itachi patiently waited for Sakura to relocate her attention onto him, which she did so sheepishly, embarrassed at being caught chastising her friend right in front of his classy sister.

Sakura cleared her throat, hand brushing her pink bangs away from her face. "He's very lucky to have such a lovely older sister, though! I'm very sorry it took us so long to meet."

Sasuke, rubbing his arm from Sakura's vicious attack on it, couldn't quite suppress the snort that emerged at these words, but his humor quickly perished when he looked at his brother.

Itachi, eyes glinting in a way that really unsettled Sasuke, opened his mouth to reply.

At this point, Sasuke wasn't sure who to be more afraid of: Sakura when she found out that his "sister" was actually a "brother", or Itachi for allowing himself to be called as such.

Sasuke bit back another pitiful groan. He just couldn't seem to win.

Desperate, Sasuke cut in, "Itachi? Don't Okaa-san and Otou-san need you in the dining hall?" He mentally pleaded for Itachi to take the hint and go, if only to rescue him from this meeting from hell gone totally wrong. "They'll be upset if we don't show up for dinner soon."

"Hn." He avoided flinching as Itachi gave him an appraising look, before inclining his head at his younger brother's words.

Sakura's face had fallen slightly, but she told herself there would be plenty of time later to get to know Sasuke's sister later. Besides, she looked down at her rumbling stomach, she actually was feeling ravenous. All this anxiety over finally getting to meet her friend's family had certainly given her an appetite. Sakura's expression became a little glazed over as she thought of the delectable dishes that were probably going to be served at dinner—luxurious dishes that upscale families like Sasuke's could most likely afford on a daily basis.

She could feel her mouth watering.

Itachi was already making his way towards the finely-carved doorway that led from the room, his smooth movements pausing only in front of a clearly-preoccupied Sakura (who was pondering the workings of her stomach). Sasuke, relieved for once that his brother was leaving his presence, felt his insides clench in trepidation as he saw Itachi come to a full stop in front of his best friend. He could only pray that Itachi wasn't thoroughly pissed off at the extensive questioning of his gender that he had undergone. Helpless to do anything for Sakura, he massaged the bridge of his nose to prepare for the explosion after…after whatever it was his older brother was planning.

"Sakura-san."

Sakura's green eyes came into focus, and she jumped a little as she realized that Sasuke's sister was standing just a tad too near, her tall form bent so as to look seriously into Sakura's heart-shaped face.

She swallowed, but managed a bewildered smile. "Yes?"

And then she kissed her.

Or, it would be more proper to say that he kissed her, warm lips pressing in a chaste, undemanding caress against hers.

For the long fingers cupping her face, rough and calloused, were decidedly not womanly, and Sakura could feel the hard, flat contours of his body as she was gently pulled closer into his hold, lithe muscles colliding with her softness. Heat from the man in front of her cocooned her senses, shock paralyzing her mind into a jumbled haze.

Yes, this body was male, and so very, very, not female.

Itachi pulled away after only a moment, hands slipping slowly from her bright red face.

"It was a…pleasure to meet you."

A single smirk later, and Itachi had disappeared from the living room.

This left only a hyperventilating Sakura and a horrified Sasuke, the latter of who was trying to plan his getaway.

"Sasuke?"

The blaring absence of the –kun made Sasuke freeze.

"Yes Sakura?"

She slowly turned to face him.

"She is actually a he."

"Yes."

"Your sister is actually a brother."

Sasuke told himself that Uchiha don't gulp, yet he swallowed hard. "I…yes?"

"Your brother just kissed me to prove a point."

Sasuke massaged his face. "That about sums it up."

Sakura suddenly smiled. "Sasuke?"

Back away, he told himself. Just back away slowly. "Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you."

Just something I wrote at the spur of the moment. I didn't go back and edit it, so sorry for any mistakes :P

I really appreciate constructive criticism, helpful hints, or just plain ol' happy comments, so please leave a review!