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Title: You Don't Know
Author: M*star
Summery: This is a Lily/James songfic that pretty much shows James' feeling towards Lily. It goes along with OotP.
AN~ When I heard this song, I thought it was absolutely PERFECT. I did have to change 1 word in it, but other than that, it's PERFECT. It's called You Don't, And it's by Sara Evans. Italics denote thought. It takes place in their 7th year. This is also a 1-shoter.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, OK?!
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"Potter, will you leave me alone?!" Lily half shouted, half begged James. "I will if you go out with me," he replied smoothly. Lily let out an exasperated sigh and said, losing her patience, "NO. Once again-NO. NON. The opposite of yes. Got that?" (AN~ Non's French for no.)
James thought for a second, then answered, "What if I didn't?" Lily closed her eyes, counted to 10, then stormed off. Sirius snorted and said, "That 1's got anger management problems."
James ignored him. I just wish she knew how I feel. Then an idea struck him. James kept a journal. He wrote everything from the Marauder's latest schemes to poems expressing his love for Lily. It had a magic lock on it, but if he "accidentally" left it unlocked and in a place where Lily would find it, she might read it. I mean, if she thinks I'm lying about how I feel for her, she'll have to believe me after she reads my journal. Come on, she wouldn't think I'd lie in my own journal, would she?
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You don't know what you do, when you look at me that way.
You don't know how my heart breaks everytime you say my name.
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That night James left his journal lying on the common room table. He waited under his invisibility cloak, so he could intervene if the wrong person found.
Soon enough, Lily and her 2 friends Anna and Katie walked in and sat on the couch in front of the table where James had left his journal.
"Hey, what book is this?" he heard Katie say as she picked it up. She flipped it open then after a moment, a mischievous grin spread across her face. "Hey Lils, look at this." She passed the journal to Lily, who opened it up. She frowned and replied, "We can't read this, it's Potter's."
Anna looked at the journal, then said, "Why not? You've always thought James has been lying about his 'love' for you. Why don't you see if it's true? It's his own fault for leaving it in the common room." Lily thought for a moment, then took the journal and ran up the stairs to the girls' dorm, followed quickly by Anna and Katie.
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You don't see all the tears that cry in the dark.
You don't hear how I pray that you're safe, when we're apart.
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Lily laid down on her bed and opened up the journal. She turned to the 1st entry and started to read.
9/2/1979
I'm in my 6th year now. This is like my 3rd or 4th journal too. Lily yelled at me again. What is it gonna take for me to get her to like me. I can't help the fact that I'm in love with her. It's more than that. My passion for her courses through my body, making me feel weak in the knees. I need her. I'll probably end up saying this atleast a thousand times as I did in my other journals: I love her. It hurts me so much when she yells at me. I just don't let it show. She says I'm an arrogant, pig-headed, show-off, jerk. I'm not really like that. It's just that when I see her, I seem to turn into a completely different person. I'm just trying to impress her, to get her attention, ya know. 1 of the reasons I pick on Snape (aka Snivellus) all the time is because he calls her a mudblood all the time. I can't stand it.
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Everytime you smile you don't know, how you steal a piece of my soul…
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The entry ended and Lily closed the journal. Wow. was all she could think. When he says that he loves me, he isn't lying. Wow. Maybe I should give him a chance…
"Well Lils?" a voice said, jarring her out of her thoughts. "Does he really love you?" Anna asked. Lily passed her the journal and told her to read the 1st entry.
"Wow," Katie said, after reading over Anna's shoulder. "This guy's crazy over you," Anna agreed.
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You don't know how it feels to be the 1 who loves the most!
How hard it is not to beg you to stay then watch you go!
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James was sitting on the couch, when Lily walked into the common room… with his journal. "Oh," he said lightly. "That's mine." Lily nodded and handed it to him."
"Um," she started. "I uh, accidentally read it." She sat down on the couch as James nodded and replied, "What part?" "The 1st entry." "Good."
This surprised Lily. "Why is that 'good'?" she asked.
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Oh you say it's all in my head, but to me it seems so real.
No you don't know how it feels. I think you do, but you don't.
Hey!
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"Because now you know how I really feel about you," James answered, looking into Lily's bright green eyes. Lily blushed and turned away, seeing the truth in his hazel eyes: He loved her. Very much.
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Oh, and everytime you smile you don't know how you still a piece of my soul!
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She then said suddenly, "You should've realized that showing-off doesn't make me like a person. Quite the contrary." James nodded and said simply, "I know."
Lily continued saying, "If you'd tone down the egotisticness, show-offyness, and the picking on people I might actually go out with you." James looked up and said, "I'll try."
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You don't know how it feels to be the 1 who loves the most!
How hard it is not to beg you to stay then watch you go!
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"Did you really mean what you said in that journal?" Lily asked unexpectedly.
James looked into her eyes and replied, "What I put in there didn't even scratch the surface. What I feel for you goes even deeper." Lily was starting to feel uncomfortable. No one had ever said anything like that to her before.
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Oh you say it's all in my head, but to me it seems so real.
No you don't know how it feels. I think you do, but you don't…
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Suddenly James leaned forward, brushing his lips against Lily's. Oh my… was the thought that wafted across Lily's mind. James put his arms around her and deepened the kiss. Lily had to admit it was a good kiss. He's a good kisser… Lily thought, not even realizing what she was thinking.
James started to pull away, but Lily flung her arms around his neck. "Don't stop," she whispered. James happily obliged.
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No you don't know how it feels, I think you do… but you don't.
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