And now it's time for Bum Reviews, with Hecter C. Bum. Tonight's review: Dragonball Evolution.

Oh My God, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life!

There's this kid named Goku, and he has a grandpa named Gohan.

But he dies! Yes!

But before he did, he taught Goku how to make the wind blow. I can make wind blow too!

I just need a can of beans and a monkey. Don't ask what the monkey's for. It's top-Secret!

And there's this girl named Chichi!

Who names their daughter Chichi? It sounds so weird. Was her parents monkeys?

I wished my parents were monkeys! If only they weren't already dead

So anyway, he goes to school, to see ChiChi. But his bike gets run over by Bumblebee!

Why do Transformers have to be such jerks?! Look at Ironhide! He wants to shoot a cute

little puppy dog! If I were a giant transmaforming robot, I wouldn't shoot puppy dogs! I eat them...

So he goes to Chichi's party, leaving his own birthday party his grandpa made for him, and he has a

big fight where he's like *Fighting shouts* and they're like, *Fighting shouts* and they

had swords that go "Ching! Ching! Ching!" and Bumblebee dies!...Hooray!

Then his grandpa was attack by a pretty woman, and then the Darth Sidious shows up and says:

"Give me the Dragonball!" and Gohan's like, "I don't have it!" and Darth Sidious was like, "Then die!" and Gohan was like, "Ok"

So Goku's running and running until he sees his house was crushed by Darth Sidious' hand!

I wish I can crush houses with my hand! So everyone would be like ME!

And his dying grandpa said, "Find Master Roshi." and then Goku's like, "Ok!" and then Gohan's like, "Good! Ugh!"

And then he runs into a girl named Bulma who says, "Give me the Dragonball so I can

become famous!" and he's like, "No," and she's like, "Ok" and he's like, "Let's find dragonballs together!"

So she throws a thing on the ground, and it transforms into a motorcycle!

I didn't know you can carry Transformers around! Who knew you catch Transformers and put them into tiny things?!

Wait, wrong shows.

So they find Master Roshi and he's like, "You must be thieves! Die!" and they're like, "We're not thieves," and he's like, "Ok"

So they continue while Master Roshi makes Goku stronger. But they fall into a hole!

And a guy named Yamcha shows up and says, "Give me all your money!" and they're

like, "No!" "Then stay down there" and then Master Roshi jumps out of the hole!

Why didn't he do that sooner? and he says, "You will help us find the Dragonballs!" and Yamcha's like, "Ok!"

And so they find the dragonma ball in a place filled with lava!

But then they're attacked by powerma ranger monsters!

~Go, Go, Power Rangers!~

And they fight and fight until they won! Hooray!

But then the pretty woman showed up and took the dragonma ball! Shoot!

So they go find Master Roshi's teacher who tells him, "I'll teach you something that

can defeat Piccolo but it could kill you!" and Master Roshi's like "Awesome!"

And Goku makes candles burn while Chichi's like, "Light all the candles and I'll kiss you!" and Goku's like, "Hooray!"

But then there's another Chichi stealing the dragonma balls! Did Chichi have a twin sister? Is her name Chichichichi?

I used to have a twin! Until I realize I didn't.

So they fight until Goku shows up! and he's like, "Which one's the fake one?" and one's like,

"She's the fake one! I'm the real one!" and he's like, "Ok!" *Punching sounds*

But it was the real Chichi he beats up!

Awkward....

And the one who said she was real, but was really the fake one, shoots Goku and runs away and gets away with the Dragonmaballs!

Then they show up and seeing Goku dying! And while he's dying, he's in Twilight! How did he get into another movie!?

And then he sees his dead grandfather who tells him, "You must defeat Piccolo before the eclipse and

the monkey man comes back!" and Goku's like, "ok!"

Movies! Need! More! Monkeys! Why else did Ronald Reagen become president? He starred in movies with monkeys!

So Master Roshi brings him back to life with a sort of superma power!

and they go to fight Piccolo! But then Piccolo takes his hood, and he's the green alien ma-man from Star Trek!

I didn't know this was a sequel to the Star Trek movie! The Star Trek movie came out! Was this really the

first Star Trek movie and then released a sequel one month later? They're making movies fast these days!

So Goku shows up and says, "I'll defeat you Piccolo!" And Piccolo's like, "You can't! You're the monkey man who serves me!"

and then the eclipse shows up while Goku's like, "Wait, what?" and he turns into a monkey man! "AHHH!" and he starts attacking everyone!

What's with all the monekys? This movie should be called Monkeyball Evolution! It would make a lot more sense!

Then Master Roshi shows up to beat Piccolo while everyone's like, "Run! It's the monkey man!"

But he fails!

And then Goku turns back after Master Roshi says "Stop being a monkey man!" and Goku's like, "Ok!" and then Master Roshi dies! Hooray!

And then Goku says, "I'll avenge you, Roshi!" and then he fights Piccolo by going

Kamehamehamehamehamehamehamehamehamehameha! while Bulma fights the pretty lady and they win! Hooray!

And then Goku summons this shining dragon and says, "Bring Master Roshi back to life,"

and the dragon's like, "Ok!" So Master Roshi's back to life and they search for the Dragonmaballs

again! but not before making out with Chichi!

And at the end, Piccolo's still alive! Dun, Dun, Duh!

Wait! Doesn't this mean the Monkey man will come back? and why is Star Trek aliens here?

Do babies come from falling rocks? Boy, I must have been high when I saw this movie.

A movie that you need drugs to see! It's the best thing ever!

This is Hecter C. Bum saying, "Change?! You got Change? Aw, c'mon! Help a guy out will ya?

Change? Can you at least tell me why they're called Dragonmaballs? 'Cause it sounds really

disgusting! Where can I find a pretty lady that can turn into other pretty ladies?"

*Seriously though, DragonBall evolution was meh.*