Things Harry Potter Characters Wouldn't Think of Saying
Chapter 1
a/n: I know it's been done lots of times, but this one's different… I promise!
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Harry: Hey Ron, you know what, I think I'm starting to like Malfoy.
Ron: What? You mean you like him too? This is so great! Did you notice how cute he looks when he smirks?
Harry: Uh, Ron, that's not what I meant. I meant I'm starting to think Malfoy's not so bad after all… Hey, are you turning gay or something?
Ron (blushing): Um, never mind… I didn't say anything.
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Hermione: Hey Lavender, let's skip school and go to Hogsmeade… I need to buy new make-up… And besides, it's a great way to go guy spotting…
Lavender: Hermione, are you crazy? Skip school? No way! And what's with all the make-up anyway? And why are you so obsessed with guys?
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Dumbledore: Harry, why on earth are you here in my office again? I am sick and tired of you always barging in and just spitting your life story out in my face! Get out of here before I make Fawkes eat you!
Harry (crying): I hate you! I'm going to Professor Snape! (runs out of Dumbledore's office and accidentally trips and falls)
Dumbledore: Hahahaha! You clumsy oaf!
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Harry: Ron! Wanna watch a Quidditch game with me? The Chudley
Cannons are playing!
Ron: The Chudley Cannons? No way! They suck!
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Snape: Malfoy, will you stop looking at the Gryffindors!
Malfoy: Is there anything wrong with looking Prof.?
Snape: No, but I just want an excuse for me to take points off from Slytherin. 50 points form Slytherin because Mr. Malfoy here can't keep his eyes away from the Gryffindors! And 50 points to Gryffindor because I just feel like it!
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Crabbe: Hey Goyle, what's the square root of 7569?
Goyle: Easy. 87. But what's 18973 x 12474?
Crabbe(after .05 seconds): 236669202! That's so easy.
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Draco: Dad, are you really a Death Eater?
Lucius: No, son, I'm actually the Easter Bunny!
*a/n: I know it doesn't make any sense, but "eater" is kinda close to "Easter", so it's the first thing that came into my mind.*
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Hagrid: Class, today, we will be taking care of… TWIGS! That's right, harmless, quiet, twigs. Now gather as much twigs as you can, and Ill be calling you after 5 minutes.
Draco: I don't want to work with twigs! I want to work with hippogriffs! Where did that cute little Buckbeak go anyway? I miss him!
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Harry(outside Gryffindor tower): Oh damn! I forgot the password! Does anyone know?
Ron: I forgot it too.
(Neville comes)
Neville: Me! I know the password! I also know the password for the next week, then the week after that…
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Ron: Fred, George, can I have some of those Canary Creams? I need to get my revenge against Malfoy.
George: Canary Creams? What Canary Creams?
Ron: You know, the ones you made for your pranks?
Fred: We've given up pranks, little brother. We are following the footsteps of our idol, our very own brother, Percy.
George: So if you don't mind, Ron, we have to study for our N.E.W.T's.
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*a/n: okay, I know it's not very good, I don't even know if I'll continue, but if I can think of some more, I'll add it, if not, well, I won't (duh). But anyways, r/r! thanks! [=ms.potter=] J*