A/N: Alternate Universe: Elena and Damon grieve over Alaric's death together, the night of 3x20.

This one's for the lonely child
Brokenhearted, running wild
This was written for the one to blame
One who believe they are the cause of chaos and everything

Time stood still in the dead of night. Everything was frozen. Staring longingly at her ceiling, she couldn't help the tears that clouded her vision only to then trickle down her blotchy cheeks. Nor could she handle the lump that resided at the base of her throat, threatening to spill over like an overfilled dam. And last of all, she couldn't find the strength to get up and close the damn window. The universal sign to him, that her door was open. So she lays above the covers numb from the chilling winds that blow over her, hoping, waiting.

She could hear the chime of her bed side clock. Tick. Tock. It was the only sound that reminded her that this life was moving onwards, despite the fact she remained frozen. It was sweeping over her again. This same feeling, one she thought she couldn't possibly feel again. But here it was again. She had loved him like a daughter loved their father. She looked up to him. He helped her, advised her. He was family and she had lost him. She was stricken with guilt. She had brought this onto him, dragging him into her life, begging and pleading for him to remain with her and Jeremy because she was too scared to handle the responsibility of being guardian when she, herself needed guidance too. She wasn't ready. She didn't want to be ready. Yet here she was in this position once again. She had to be the strong one, the one who held it together as they tried resemble the pieces of their lives. To carry on, take charge, as if the notion of the matter wasn't crippling with every breath she took, or that when she spied a familiar object or smelled the faint brush of mint overpowered by its accompanying partner bourbon, that she was tough enough to endure the pain that would shoot through her chest. That she was resilient enough to not fall to her knees. She wasn't. The raw scraped skin on her knees were proof enough.

The house was as empty as it could be. She couldn't even take in the comfort of hearing Jeremy's faint snores. Jeremy had crashed at Matt's house and she had asked Stefan to leave prior to knowing. Regardless of, she hadn't wanted him to stick around. He wasn't what she needed. He didn't understand it.

Everything was absolutely silent. Well despite the damn ticking clock. It was constantly reminding her. Continuously burning at her ears. Tick. Tock. It was taunting her. She could hear its snide comments, its outright cries to a survivor like her. Like the children's song, 'Na-nana-na-nah!' It resounded louder and louder. Worry etched her face as the sounds vibrated around her, piercing through the quiet house.

Tick. Tock.

Grappling a pillow over her head she tried to burrow the noise out.

Tick. Tock.

She couldn't escape it. It only seemed to revel with how it goaded her. Having enough of this game, she reached blindly from underneath the pillow for the damn clock and chucked it across the room. Hearing it shatter as is it hit the wall felt good. Like some sort of pressure had been lifted. Breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling. She was met with silence once more. Slipping the pillow off and staring once again at the ceiling, she couldn't stop it. She didn't want to cry anymore, having shed enough tears earlier, but there was nothing she could do about it now. The onslaught began with a tightening in her chest and a rippling sob that could have been heard from all ends of the house.

She didn't know how long she had cried, how far into the night she was, or how long it had been since a pair of arms had managed to snake themselves around her small frame bringing along the warmth her skin desperately needed. It was him. She could smell his cologne.

"He's gone." she whimpered, as more tears clouded her vision.

"I know." he choked out, as he burrowed his head into her hair, calming himself with her scent. "It's not your fault."

"But it is." she cries out adamantly. "I made him stay. I gave him the ring back. It was my blood in the spell. I did this."

"Stop that. If anyone is to blame, it's Esther, not you. You didn't do this. She did." He turns her around and as his bleary eyes meet her puffy ones a lone tear falls down his cheek, "Do you hear me?"

She nods her head against him, her body beginning to shake, as she lets out another round of tears. She clasps onto his shirt desperately, holding onto him with dear life. He clenches his arms around, tightly holding onto her, returning her unspoken plea.

Tears slip down his face not knowing how day will break without him around. Reminiscing how for a short period time, he remembered what it felt like to have friend, who could see past his walls, and facades, calling him out on his shit. Someone he could talk to.

He couldn't do this.

Recalling memories.

Letting out a choking sob, he held the sobbing girl tighter, praying she wouldn't leave like he did. Because in the end they only had each other.

A/N Don't touch me. I's a huge mess and I don't even know how this was written. It was just a small drabble but it hurt so much. My friend decided to make my feels worse last night, stating that Elena probably did keep her window open, waiting for him but he never showed because Bonnie knocked him out, but then that just added to Elena's guilt, because she felt he blamed her. And I just want to cry more. You can go thank her on tumblr, she's damonsinsanity. tumblr. com

Heheh I hope you enjoyed this, love any sort of feedback. :D