Title:A life decision
Author:lex.t
Rating:PG
Summary: Arizona and Cristina talk about having children After season 7
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: uhm this is my first fan fiction and english is not my first language, plus there is no beta reader. Consider yourselves warned.
Arizona desperately searched for an empty on-call room, preferably one which would be searched out for sex. She just needed sleep, two hours of undisturbed sleep. With Sofia at home and Callie still recovering, her own seclude full and nightmares she had not had a decent night of sleep in weeks. So right now even small, hard, on-call room bed sounded like heaven. She had told Karev to page her in an emergency only. Arizona knew he could handle things on his own. Finally finding an on-call room which fitted her search parameter. She kicked off her shoes and was out by the time her head hit the bed.
A cross the hospital Cristina played her own version of hide and seek. Basically, she had been avoiding Owen since he threw her out. She was not an avoider by nature that was Meredith MO but she was not ready for an another round of you are caring my hopes and dreams. So Cristina was finding all the place in the hospital where nobody else was. With Meredith having her own set of problems and a kid, Alex being a snitch, April the new Chief resident and Teddy hating her guts on top of the whole Owen pregnant debacle she really needed a great place to hide. Which was why she jumped into one on-call room without checking first when Owen came around a corner. Quickly shutting the door along with locking it she jumped onto a bed. Unfortunately the bed was not empty and moved beneath her.
" What the heck? " : exclaimed Arizona. " Arg " : screamed Cristina having nearly a heart attack when the bed moved. " Cristina? " : asked Arizona. Her still sleeping brain was trying desperately to make sense of why somebody was on top of her. " Ugh. Didn't see you. " Cristina scrabble off her and sat on the edge of the bed. " Mh. Okay? " Arizona was not so sure if it was okay but she was just waking up so she let it slide. Also if Arizona was honest Cristina looked even worse then she felt.
Cristina was still sitting on the bed, staring at the wall on the other side, when she blurted out: "You didn't want kids!"
Arizona gaped at her. Sitting up, suddenly, she was wide awake. Wondering, what was going on. Cristina was always direct yet this was out of nowhere.
" You love get kids. You can play with them. They love you. And you out of all people didn't want kids."
" Cristina, are you okay? " Arizona tenderly asked. She did not think this conversation was about her.
" I don't want kids. I don't like kids. I can't deal with them. You remember when I was on your service. That was me trying hard to be in the same room
as kids. I am not a mother and I don't want to be one. Being a godmother is as far as I go. You know, teach the kids fun stuff like surgery. But I give
them back when there is trouble and I don't feel bad about it.
But Owen does not get it. He does not understand that I am not a Mother and never will be. That doesn't make me a bad woman." Cristina felt silent and continued starring ahead.
By now Arizona was not even sure if this was a conversation or if Cristina just needed to let off steam. She only knew with everything that had happened in the Hospital recently, that she was properly one of the few people Cristina could talk to at all. Also Arizona was pretty sure Cristina just confirmed the rumors of her pregnancy. Apparently Cristina didn't plan on keeping the baby and had a fall out with Owen about it. She didn't often see eye to eye with Cristina. Plus she had been mad about the stunt Cristina pull on her service. They were complete different personalities at least on the outside. But Callie brought them together and they sort of shared an apartment for a few months. She was Sophia's godmother for crying out aloud. No, Cristina was not warm and fuzzy or perky as she would have put it. However she was loyal, honest, rude but honest, and goal-oriented even if it meant playing dirty. Those were all qualities Arizona respected. Additionally she thought she herself had them despite the fact that their methods where different. Cristina was somebody important to her family. Furthermore Arizona was a fixer.
" No, I didn't want children like ever. I never played with dolls pretending to be a family. I didn't discuss names of my future children in school.
I changed for Calliope then again it literally took a gun to my head for that.
I love Sofia. I feel like her mom. Never mind that her conceiving and the whole Mark as a third parent is not what I want. I am happy even through
her birth was a nightmare. But only you can decided if you want that life altering change. You are the only one who can know if in ten years from now
you are still happy with the choice you made.
I think you would be a great mother, not a bake sale mom but your kid would love you and would be proud to have you as her mother.
Nevertheless this is your choice in the end. I am not saying you shouldn't listen to all the opinion of people close to you or that you shouldn't value
them.
But in the end it is your choice.
It doesn't mean you are a bad woman or that you don't love Owen enough. It simply means what you already said you are not a mother and you do
not want to be one. And nobody should judge you for not fitting in the perfect picture or being different then society wants you to be."
They sat in silence. Each lost in their own thoughts. There was no touching even if Arizona thought about it. But with Cristina being Cristina, she did not want her hands bitten off. Finally to break the silence, Arizona said:
- " You will be an awesome godmother."
- " Thanks "
- " But no talking to Sofia about surgeries until she is 14. Also no pushing her to be a surgeon."
- " No way Roller-girl my godchild is going to cut. I already planed on buying her Operation and Anatomy Jane will be the only doll she will ever get.
Those are my rules as a godmother."
Arizona laughed and got up. She had a surgery in 15 minutes. As she stepped out into the hallway she heard another emotion filled thanks. Quietly she closed the door, hoping that Cristina would be okay.