Life on the Refrigerator Door
CHAPTER ONE
Morelli
Taken Bob for a walk. Coffee's on. Should be back soon.
Steph
Steph
Had to run into work at the last minute. All the mugs are dirty, could you wash them? We're out of almost everything. Reckon you could do a grocery run?
Joe
P.S. What's wrong with my first name?
Joe
Sorry. Sometimes I forget you have a first name. I've just called you Morelli for so long. It comes naturally now. If you want the dishes done do them yourself. I'm out of town this weekend on a job. I got some generic nutrition sources for you; see inside for details.
If you need me call me cell. Leave a message and I'll try and get back to you.
S
I missed you this weekend, Cupcake. You have no idea how much I love waking up with you beside me.
Just stepped out for a moment. Bob had to go; if you know what I mean.
How'd your job go? Did you get my messages?
Joe
Steph?
I haven't seen you in over a week? I know you've at least been here, you left your washing in the basket in the laundry. Do you want me to wash it for you? Bob misses you.
Gotta run. Be home late. Eat without me.
Joe
Joe
Just came by to pick up some clean clothes. Borrowing you're grey jacket, you don't mind do you? Job's taking way longer than expected. Hopefully should be done soon though. I ate the left over pizza from the fridge. Bob's bowl is looking empty, where'd his food go?
Steph
Steph
We need to talk when you finally get in. Any thoughts on when that might be?
Exhausted, going to bed
Love you
Joe
Got back early this morning you were already gone. I collapsed on the couch for a nap. My mother has invited us to dinner tonight, are you free?
I've just ducked out to the shops, we're out of coffee.
Steph
Steph
I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean I want you to quit your job. I just meant that it seems to be taking up a lot of your time. I never get to see you anymore! Your boss sees you more than I do, and you know how I feel about you spending so much time with Ranger. He's trouble, Cupcake. Please don't be mad at me. I just want what's best for us.
Love and hugs
Joe
Joe
You think saying you're sorry and sending love and hugs makes everything all better? I'm going to stay at Mare's for a few days. Don't call, I won't answer. Bob's eating the dining room furniture. Maybe you should think about feeding him.
Steph
P.S. I hardly ever see Ranger since I agreed to marry you. He keeps partnering me with his Merry Men.
You can be mighty frustrating at times you know. You're lucky I love you so much or I wouldn't be putting in all this effort. I'm really sorry for the way I dug at you the other night. Please come home. Bob misses you.
Bob can miss me all he wants. I'm taking a surveillance gig tonight won't be home till tomorrow. I left some Chinese for you in the fridge. I'm not angry at you, just frustrated. It shouldn't be an effort, Joe. It should all come naturally. No thought or effort required. Love is love and it takes on a mind of it's own.
What was it you wanted to talk to me about the other night?
Steph
P.S. I left some money on the counter, my share in the phone bill this month. It's overdue you know.
Steph
What's the point in having a cell phone if you never have it on? Where are you? Are you still alive?
Joe
Joe
Babysitting Val's minions tonight. Don't wait up. Sorry about the cell phone, got destroyed in the office fire earlier in the week
Steph
OFFICE FIRE? WTF! Why didn't you tell me about an office fire? Are you okay? Was anyone hurt? Why didn't it come through to emergency? Who am I kidding, it's Manoso. I'm working late tonight anyway.
How about a romantic dinner tomorrow night? Just the two of us? My shout.
Joe
New cell on the counter, already programmed with the important numbers. Don't toast, mutilate, or in anyway harm this one, will you? Make an effort at least?
Morelli
Thanks for the phone, but Ranger already gave me one, I hope you can get your money back. You didn't toss the receipt did you? You know you should never throw the receipt out for at least a month after purchase. My Grandmother taught me that.
Dinner tomorrow night would be loverly. What did you have in mind?
Crashed in the bed. Sorry about the chocolate smeared on your pillow. I was too tired to shower.
Steph
Cupcake
So sorry. Something came up and I can't make it tonight. Raincheck? I'm glad you mentioned it was chocolate. I was a bit worried about it and ended up turning the pillow over just in case. You're so beautiful when you're asleep. I watched you nose twitch last night. What were you dreaming about?
Joe
P.S. Could pick up some bread and milk?
Is it me or is Bob getting fatter by the day. I hope you're feeding him and its not just one of those bellies the kids in Ethiopia get from lack of food.
Was my nose really twitching? That's odd, don't you think? I was dreaming about sniffing flowers. What do you reckon that means?
Love you
Steph
P.S. Could you take a look at the toaster? It's isn't popping. I had to pull it out of the wall socket so it didn't burn my pop tart. Sticking a knife in the toaster isn't a good idea is it?
Cupcake
Please tell me you did not stick any knives in the toaster. I swear sometimes you're asking for injury. I spend half my days worrying about you. I love you too much to see you in Stiva's! Can you imagine you Grandmother if that happened? It'd be worse than usual!
You know, it's not illegal for you to feed Bob. The food's in the cupboard, the bowl's on the floor. How hard could it be?
What are you doing tonight? We still need to talk. Wanna catch a movie and dinner at Pino's after? I left you the list of movies showing, circle one and put it back on the fridge. How long has it been since we spent time together? I'm starting to forget what you look like.
Joe
Sorry, can't make it tonight. Last minute distraction job was scheduled. Maybe tomorrow? I have the day off. You owe $25 on the phone bill this month. I'll pay that if you pay for dinner and the movie. Deal?
Steph
P.S. Grandma's staying for here for a few nights while the house is fumigated. TERMITES! They're the laughing stock of the Burg!
Steph
I'm sure it's not the first case of termites in the Burg. And I'm sure once you blow up another car it'll all be forgotten. I'll hand it to your Grandma though, I've never seen the toilet bowl so white. How does she do it?
I'll be home at five so we can grab something to eat before the movie rather than after. That work in with you plans alright? I can change it if it doesn't.
Joe
Are the two of you ever home? This house is a mess! The dirty clothes basket is over flowing. The Hamster's cage smells. There are empty chip packets littered over the living room floor. There's grime built up so much in the shower that it looks like a public bathroom. And don't get me started on your bedroom! USED CONDOMS GO IN THE BIN NOT ON THE FLOOR! You're lucky I'm here to keep this place in tip top shape.
Grandma
P.S. I baked you a Pineapple upsidedown Cake for when you get back from your movie tonight
Grandma
What's in our bedroom is none of you business. Stephanie is staying at Lula's while we work a few things out. Thank you for feeding Bob and cleaning Rex's house.
Joe
P.S. The cake was delicious.
CHAPTER TWO
Joe
Just stopped by to pick up the rest of my clean clothes. I rolled in a fair bit of garbage today so I borrowed some water for a shower. I hope Grandma's been good. Don't let her out after ten.
You still haven't told me what that talk you wanted to have was about, do you still want it?
S
Joe
Haven't seen you in a while. Where are you? I'm staying here again, Lula's shacked herself up with Tank. NASTY
Steph
Cupcake
How does a DVD and pizza tonight sound? Just us... and Bob I suppose. We'll hire some out and vege on the couch. Yeah? Then we might actually get to have that chat.
Joe
What happened to Grandma? Won't she be home? You know you can't let her out after ten.
Steph
PS I'm in. I need some vege time.
Steph
Just came home to pick up a file I forgot this morning. I definitely did not let Grandma out after ten, I haven't seen her since she baked the cake.
Joe.