My last fic was actually humorous. Aaand I'm done. This is angsty as always. Sorry.
R&R, please! :)
Please, tell me I'm perfect.
Tell me you like my singing.
My acting.
My face.
My hair.
My eyes.
I need to hear it.
I need you to like me.
That's what I live for.
/
"Mommy, Daddy, who do you love more? Trina or me?"
"We love you both very much, you're our girls…"
"But nooo, you should love me more!" Sobs.
"Well, now, isn't this a little bit selfish of you, Tori?"
Your whole body starts shaking. You start crying {with dry eyes…}
-pathetic-
A pair of strong arms picks you up and you feel warm breath on your cheek.
"I love you more."
You smile (grin).
Of course, you're no l. You just need to be loved.
"Don't tell your sister…"
/
"Trina, Daddy told me he loves me more."
A bit brighter than yours pair of brown eyes fill with tears but you pretend you don't notice-
-you don't actually care-
"He said it so you don't cry like the bratty baby you are." You hear her whisper in helpless rage.
A step forward.
A step back.
A step forward.
A step back.
A step forward.
Back pinned to the wall…
"Which doesn't mean he doesn't think it."
It kinda excites you seeing her break.
You're no l.
"You're so fucked up, Tori…"
/
"So," You trail off lazily "who's the prettiest girl at school in your opinion? Honestly."
He smiles and answers obediently "You." Like a good boyfriend.
It's not enough for you.
It shouldn't be that easy for him.
…
You don't even know the guy's name. He's lanky and nerdy and his kisses are sloppy and disgusting, and his whole appearance screams 'loser' [he's not your type at all] but right now it doesn't matter.
He's good enough.
The door squeaks open. You smile against the stranger's lips.
"TORI?!"
You pull away from the boy you're kissing and cast an unabashed look upon your boyfriend who's staying at the doorstep, in shock.
"Danny." You say back, clearly.
He snarls threateningly at the other boy {so what if Mr Nerd is at least five inches taller} who makes off the fastest way possible.
"Why?" Danny whispers-
-hurt=
-broken=
-confused=
"Why did you do this?"
You flash him your perfect smile.
"Who's the prettiest girl at school in your opinion?"
He looks at you bewildered [silly boy…]. You play eye fight for a minute or two then he finally gets it.
"Oh…
Oh…
Oh…
Was I just a fucking game for you, Tori?" He doesn't need an answer, really, so you don't give him one. Instead, you repeat.
"Danny, who's the prettiest girl at school?"
He clenches his fists and hits the wall.
"You know what?! Go to hell, you bitch!" And in a blink of the eye he's gone.
You grin satisfied. He told you what you wanted to know anyway.
/
You're actually excited about this new school. It's a great challenge and god, don't you just love challenges.
You know that your performance's captivated them. But what about the people who couldn't see you?
Everyone should know how perfect you are.
…
"See, told ya they'd like you. You belong here." The dark-skinned boy smiles at you.
You don't even have to try with this one. So you nod as politely as you can and move on.
…
"Excuse me, do you know where Mr Sikowitz's class is?"
"Oh, I know you! You sang 'Make it shine' at the Big Showcase, didn't you?"
So the short jumpy redhead knows you, too. And her big shiny eyes look at you with such… glee?
You hate it so you try to run away. You never liked happy people.
…
"Hey…"
"Hey, hello… Female? Yes?" The tall nerdy guy gazes you incredulously, not managing to perceive the fact that a girl's actually talking to him.
He reminds you of Dominic, the boy you cheated on your ex boyfriend with. Your stomach clenches involuntarily.
-you can't let guiltiness now-
You repeat your question about the acting class's room-
-after all you still have to get to class-
-he stutters (To North for about thirty paces? Like really?)
[it's good his puppet finally tells you where to go]
The awkward dweeb's eyes follow you as you hurry to go off. You find his love of first sight adorkable but you've decided you'll hang with him as least as possible.
You've got to build a good reputation after all.
…
There is finally something that grabs your attention. It's obvious he's attracted to you {which satisfies you but at the same time it doesn't} but ohmigod, he's so hot that even you can't help but stare.
That's your first mistake.
You decide to try the oldest trick in the book. He'd fall for it, everybody does.
The sound of coffee pouring down on his shirt makes something inside of you twist pleasantly.
"Oh my gosh…"
"Ugh… it's cool…" Okay, the laid-back and always calm kind of guy… You like him even more.
"No, I spilled coffee on your… Here." You start rubbing his T-shirt as industriously as possible. Jesus Christ, those abs!
"You might be making it worse.." He smiles at you but he doesn't repulse your hand…
…he likes it when you touch him…
You let your eyes linger on his face way more than the necessary.
That's your second mistake.
The door opens up again but you're too busy contemplating his deep chocolate eyes to notice. Until a sharp voice breaks you off your la-la land.
"Dude! Why are you rubbing my boyfriend?"
You're so amazed, you're at loss of words.
=nobody has ever dared speak to you like that=
"Oh… I just- I spilled coffee on him…" You try your best puppy dog pout but she doesn't look impressed at all.
"Get away from him." She demands.
And because there was no person before [no one!] who's looked you with such malice, you obey.
You break
You deflect
You humiliate yourself
That's your third mistake.
/
You have no freaking idea when does this start but your life suddenly doesn't revolve around your tries to win as much hearts as possible. It revolves around her.
The girl who refuses to admit your greatness.
The girl who acts like she hates your guts.
You find yourself more fascinated with her big green-blue eyes, with her heavy long hair, with her pouty lips way more than with your own.
This has never happened to you.
There is no other person you've ever admired more than yourself.
At first you can't, you don't want to believe that you've allowed such a weakness to yourself. And while you're in denial, your feelings grow stronger
and stronger
and stronger
...
You're not you anymore. You look at your damn face in the mirror and try to convince yourself how pretty you are /but you can't because you're not, she's so much prettier than you… she's the prettiest girl ever/
You've never really experienced love before but if this is love, you'd prefer if it never happened in the first place. It's painful and exhausting. You're exhausted. She torments you so much and your suffering feeds her, it helps her feel alive. When you crumble, she arises.
Doesn't this sound familiar to you?
...
Your family starts worrying. They notice you're not the same anymore. You've lost the will to do whatever you wanted to do before. You're not even mean to your sister. You have no strength to torture her (or anyone else) anymore.
You're just an empty shell, hurled on the deserted beach.
Worthless.
/
You see someone you thought you'd never meet again. And now guilt finally pours over you with all its power. She's taught you how to feel but not how to deal with feelings.
"Aaah!"
"Aaah!" He looks frightened.
"Danny?"
"Hey." He trails off, still confused. "You go to school here?"
"Yeah… You know I left Sherwood."
"Right but I didn't know where… I mean, isn't this school for like really talented kids?"
It wouldn't have hurt you before but now you feel something dull in your chest. All you can do is raise your eyebrows in response (desperately trying to rebuild your façade, at least in front of him). He should be mad at you because of all you've done to him but instead, he stutters a bit {the feeling of before flashes for a second then burns out}.
"I did not mean…"
"No, no, keep talking, you're doing great."
"Sorry." He smiles shyly and you almost think there's hope for you to resuscitate from the ashes and become the old you again.
Then of course, she comes and ruins everything.
"So who's that?" She interrupts your conversation. And you, the new you, hurries to submit the information she needs.
"Ugh… this is Danny."
"Hey." Danny nods slightly.
"Sup." Beck greets back.
"So why are you talking to Tori?" You want to believe you've heard a hint of jealousy in her voice…
…but of course, you didn't.
"He's in my old school." You offer. As you see her unsatisfied expression, you continue talking, more unsure than ever. "He was my boyfriend."
"Girlfriend." Danny adds carefully as he points at you and you see the pain on his face.
"So why did you dump her?" She asks him with spite and every sparklet of faith is gone.
Danny blinks perplexed and looks at you, not believing you're not responding anything to that. You shrink in your place.
"Jade." Beck starts but she interrupts him and steps forward to you.
"Can I guess? Cause I've got a lot of guesses."
Your ex shrugs uncomfortably and his cheeks flush in deep crimson.
"Actually…"
"You don't have to-" You beg him not to increase your humiliation but he speaks after all.
"It was Tori who dumped me." You realize you've squeezed your eyes shut so you open them cautiously. You can't actually believe that the guy whose heart you broke so mercilessly a year ago, just saved you from further ignominy.
…
He's found another girl now. A better one. One of your so-called besties, Cat Valentine. The crazy redhead who watched you with such admiration on your first school day.
Funny how things change. He has a relationship and you're alone, drowning in self-pity and grief. And yeah, he's still as cute as ever, and… Okay yes, you're jealous of her. Of Cat. Why the fucking hell are you jealous?! You were the one who broke his heart. You were the one who hurt the guy who loved you with his all.
And before you can contain yourself, you unscrew with all your force the faucet of the cheese fountain which slushes the kissing couple nearby from head to toes.
"I got cheese in my hair!" Is all Danny succeeds to whimper.
"Why did you do this?" Cat, harmless, timid Cat stares at you with those big brown eyes and you feel the guilt eating you once again.
Man, you've turned into such a softy.
"I… I don't… I don't know… I just…" And then you run back with all the energy you skinny legs have.
…
You shouldn't have done it. All you bring people is misery. So against every rule in your life you go to apologize.
"Danny."
He eyes you suspiciously.
"Hi."
"Where's Cat?" You ask and you sound like you really care.
"Still trying to get the cheese out of her ear." He looks at you meaningfully. Good, he already knows you've softened up and now holds it against you. Just perfect.
"Okay, look, I have no idea why I did that." You start.
"Were you jealous?" Is this hope in his voice?
You open up your mouth to deny it but instead you nod.
"Yeah, guess I was." You suddenly feel so helpless that you slump on the stairs.
You don't look up but you can hear him shuffle and eventually sit next to you.
"What happened to you?" He asks. "How could you change like that?"
You look him in the eye. "She destroyed me." You admit. "She took away every shred of self-esteem I've ever had."
He quirks an eyebrow. "Are you talking about the Goth girl?"
You nod again. "Yeah. She's treating me like crap, Danny, you have no idea how bad I feel."
The guy smiles sadly. "I think I do."
You bow your head.
And you thought you couldn't feel any worse.
The apology finally slips out of your mouth, the one you should have said so much time before.
"I'm sorry."
He blinks with disbelief.
"I mean it, I'm sorry. For everything I did to you. Now I know the feeling when the person you love hurts y-" The words die in your throat and you immediately realize the huge mistake you've made. But it's too late, there's no coming back. He heard you. He knows.
And he doesn't look surprised the slightest.
"Why do we always love people who hurt us?" He murmurs softly, more to himself than to you.
You shrug. "I have no idea."
His sentence finally gets soaked into your foggy mind and you lift your head again. You've never actually noticed how beautiful your ex's eyes are. Unconsciously (or that's what you tell yourself) you lean in and capture his lips with yours.
It doesn't feel right. It's soothing and sweet but not what you want. You want to feel a rougher and more feminine pair, you want to bleed and cry and hear her laughter in your head, to seal it in your brain…
Masochistic freak.
You're Danny and Jade's you.
…
Cat sees you two kissing, runs off crying, avoids you all day and when you finally confront her, she punches you in the face. You're not even mad, you know very well you deserved it. The good part is she doesn't stay angry at you for long and she even drives you to the hospital. That's just Cat – you might break her fragile childish heart and she would still do anything for you.
Why can't you be like that?
All your other friends come to the hospital. They seem genuinely worried about you. Their caring faces make you sick. Only hers doesn't.
But then again she's the only one who doesn't have a caring face.
"I would have killed you if you kissed my boyfriend." She says and smirks darkly at you, and your heart just skips a beat although she's just menaced you.
You feel some odd bravery flowing through your veins and you take advantage of it before it disappears.
"I already have." You hear yourself answer smugly and for a second you think the old Tori is back in all her glory (Sorry, I just took a little break but now I'm here and I'm gonna fucking slap that bitch… that gorgeous bitch…). With the corner of your eye you see Beck grinning like a madman.
Surprise throes her features for a second then something you haven't seen before, something inexplicable flashes dangerously in her beautiful eyes.
Amused at her loss of words, her boyfriend starts laughing and soon everybody else follows his example. You're proud and aghast of yourself at the same time. Okay, if she despised you before, she hates your guts now. What's done is done. You're a goner anyway.
This is the last time you dare to make fun of Jade West.
/
It happens that night. When you agree to help Cat and Jade. When you rock that ridiculous club Karaoke Dokie. When Louise Nordoff rocks that club.
Hiding behind someone else's face has become your second nature.
One of the most important things – Jade dances when you sing. It totally melts your heart. She is having fun… because of you.
She is having more fun than you suppose.
Okay, so you totally own those two ganks Bailey and Sara or whatever, and then Cat runs to you squealing and hugs you so tightly you think you'll choke with your own lungs (you might actually get used to this proximity some day), and then Jade comes and you don't know what you really expect but you open your arms to hug her, and she just gives you an awkward high-five or something. But you are so happy that you are even touching her, that you are making her smile… What does it matter?
The real thing happens some hours after. Sikowitz has finished his crazy but absolutely awesome performance and your gang is getting ready to leave. You don't really want to go home because this means those glib bitches will be free to go and you will have to pretend to look after your annoying sister. But Andre has to go and take care of his grandma, Cat receives a weird text which says her brother's done something and she needs to get home immediately, Robbie's mom has forbidden him to stay out after 12:30 pm, Beck has to get up early and study all Sunday for his Biology test and Jade is plain tired and bored.
So you just put up with the fact that the fun is over and decide to call a cab because Robbie's mom is getting him any minute and Andre, Cat and Jade came with Beck's car so he has to drive them back… and practically there's no free space for you.
Then you hear the sentence that changes your whole night.
You see Jade turning to her boyfriend and saying: "It's okay, babe, go drive Andre and Cat. I'll take a cab with Vega."
You blink inadequately, not believing what you've just heard. So is anyone else, though, they're all looking at Jade like she's grown a third eye.
Beck frowns a bit. "I can drive you." He reassures her. "We can even find a little place for Tori if you're that… worried about her." He swallows, not believing his own words.
"I don't want to hinder-" You start but she quickly interrupts you.
"Yeah, I don't want to, either. So you guys just go, we're gonna be fine."
You look at her in disbelief and she smiles sickeningly sweetly to you.
Cat plumps her red hair and twists a strand around her finger tremulously. "Jadey, you're not gonna hurt Tori, are you?"
Jade rolls her eyes and huffs irritated but when she sees everybody's eyes on her she roars impatiently. "No, you idiots, I'm not gonna hurt her!" You see her fighting the smirk on her face.
Finally, after a long hesitation, Andre, Cat and Beck get in the car and drive away. Just a minute later, Robbie's mom – a vigorous strong woman – comes and almost forcefully makes her son get in and leave.
You and Jade are finally alone. You're excited and confused and your stomach's making weird dancey moves but most of all you're scared. You helped her take those two brats down (and you know Jade loves hurting people just as much as you used to… maybe still do sometimes) but she's unpredictable and if she wants to do something to you, she will, even if you saved her life a million times.
She quirks a studded eyebrow in your direction and grins so oddly (pure evil) the hairs on your arms stand up.
"Aren't you gonna call a cab… Tori?" Your name rolls slowly and somehow sexily off her tongue, and you're not sure what's more surprising – her tone or the fact she says your first name. You feel your cheeks growing hot and your crotch growing even hotter… the last thought makes your throat tighten and the only thing you can do is squeak something incomprehensible in response.
The next thing you feel is her fingers touching your flat bare stomach. Your breath quickens so much that you think you're going to suffocate. You feel the transparent blades of her eyes on your face and against every molecule of common sense you look right in them. Your knees become so weak they begin to tremble. Your mouth gets dry.
Her damn magnificent eyes are watching you challengingly and suddenly you feel yourself leaning in (What the fuck are you doing?!), your brain screams 'Stop right there, you dumb bitch' but your heart outvoices 'Kiss her, what are you waiting for?'. Then her fingers run down and you're almost in seventh heaven and then she suddenly thrusts her hand in your tight pocket and takes your PearPhone out. In the blink of the eye she's at least six feet away, dialing some number and saying: "Yellow Cab? Yes, please. Club 'Karaokie Dokie'. Yes. Thank you very much."
You just watch with frozen expression, not fully perceiving what's going on. Is she trying to tease you or something? Does she even know how you feel about her? Are you dreaming? What the hell is happening?!
"They're coming in 5 minutes." She informs you nonchalantly and throws your phone back at you. You almost trip while trying to catch it but thank God, nothing breaks in the end.
By the time the cab's there, you still haven't fully recovered by everything that's happened. You still feel her breath on your cheek, her fingers on your stomach, the heat of her body colliding with your own. Your brain is clouded by thoughts, millions of thoughts, chaotic, unrelated but still whirling around the same thing.
Jade. Jade. JADE.
"C'mon, get in." She urges you but you just look at her goofily. And really, you try to get in but your fucking legs just wouldn't budge. Jade raises an eyebrow. "Hello, Earth to Vega! You alive?"
You shrug your shoulders.
"What, you don't know if you're alive?"
You squeak something you're not really sure the meaning of. She rolls her eyes.
"Gosh, now it's not the time for your asthma attacks or whatever you're having." And her tone indicates you're not receiving a more special treatment than that.
So you just bow your head like the submissive fool you are and get in the car.
…
The majority of the trip is silent. Jade's looking absent-mindedly through the window and you're looking at her. You've already mesmerized her angelic face – the gleam in her enchanting blue eyes, her little straight nose, the curve of her soft-looking lips – but you'll never really get enough of it. So you look. You look until you have the feeling your eyes will fall out. And until her head abruptly turns to you.
You blink perplexedly and try to look away but she's caught you.
"What are you looking at?" She asks but it isn't nagging, it's actually in a kinda low and… seductive? voice.
"Sorry." You murmur quietly but you're not sorry. You're not sorry at all. You can spend your whole life just watching at her. Even from afar.
She scoffs softly. "If you apologize for all the times I've caught you staring at me, you won't have finished till tomorrow." But again there is no malice, nor mockery in her voice.
You don't know what to say so you don't say anything. And you try to ignore the goosebumps on your spine. In vain.
…
The cab stops at your house. Oddly enough, Jade gave the driver your address. And you didn't object. But now the man turns around and looks at you expectantly and Jade looks at you expectantly as well and asks you with a scarily sweet voice.
"Aren't you gonna pay, Vega?"
You open your mouth to ask how she's getting home but something in her eyes tells you to shut the fuck up. So you do. You take $10 from your purse and wordlessly hand them to the driver.
Only when the cab's gone, you turn to her and say.
"Why didn't you go home?"
She looks at you with darkened eyes and your stomach churns for no particular reason.
"You mean you're not inviting me in?"
That's the least you've expected. Since when does Jade West want to spend time with you? In your house? Then your inner self slaps you as hard as possible. You idiot! She wants to come in! You can't say no! I swear to God if you say no-
"If you want to-
"
"Just open the damn door, Vega." There's impatience in her voice and you just can't be more confused. Why the hell… Oh, forget it. You'll never be able to understand the mystery that is Jade.
Your clumsy fingers finally dig the keys out of your purse and you open the door. And the moment you do it, two girls with ruffled hair and ragged clothes run out of the house, panting and on the verge of crying.
"You! You…" The dark-haired girl points at you, goggling her eyes like a madwoman.
"Never! Again!" The blonde screams from the top of her lungs.
So your sister has managed to drive them insane.
"You'll never take me alive!" You hear Trina yell from within the house.
"We don't want to!" The brunette roars, turning her head back. Her eyes then survey you and then Jade. "Freaks!" She squeals, takes her friend's hand and they stomp away.
Meanwhile Trina has started moaning in pain and you hear an 'omph' and then a dull thump. You look up at Jade.
"You still sure you want to come in?"
"Duh." She shrugs her shoulders. "I have scissors, you know."
You're not sure if she's menacing your life or your sister's and you don't really want to find out. Both of you enter the house without another word.
Trina's sprawled on the floor and is kicking helplessly in the air but she's still drugged enough to be a out of her senses. If alone, you wouldn't have paid attention to her but now that Jade's here, you have to cling to your fake image. So you walk to her and grab her from under her shoulders.
"Get up, Trina." You grumble quietly.
"Toreey…" She drawls out. "Toreey, is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me." You roll your eyes.
"You here to finish me?" Her head is lolling dangerously. "You here to sent me on Killa City?" Wait, is she talking about Kansas City or about you killing her?
Your hands start to itch. If you make me look stupid in front of Jade, I swear-
"I'm just taking you to bed, Trin." You give your best melodramatic sigh and then realize what you've actually called her. Since when are you giving nicknames to your annoying sister? "Aren't you gonna help me?" She's just too heavy for you so you frown at Jade as deeply as you can.
And surprisingly, she doesn't complain. The only thing she does is lift Trina by the calves and you two quietly take her to her room.
…
The moment you two come down from the second floor, your nerves are wrecked and suddenly you explode.
"What is going on?!"
Jade quirks a perfect eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean why are you being nice to me? You wanted to come over, you helped me take my sister to bed. What's your plan?" It's not that you don't want her here but you're seriously starting to worry about your plan.
Her left eyebrow joins the right.
"Are you really bitching cause I'm being nice to you?"
Your strength leaves you. Yeah, Tori, what's your fucking deal? She's being nice to you.
"I-I'm sorry…" Your voice trembles weakly. "I'm just… not used to it."
Jade gives you that predatory, Chershire cat-ish smile that she reserves only for you – when she's about to embitter your life just a bit more. You gulp and involuntarily step back.
Oh my… What if that threat about the scissors really was for you? What if she takes them out and butcher you right here, right now?
But then she licks her lips slowly and temptingly and you don't know what to think, you're simultaneously scared to death and so turned on you think your crotch is set on fire.
"I can be really nice." She purrs, coming closer with each word. And you know you have to run for dear life but you can't move anymore. Your knees are wobbling and there's a bigger possibility for you to slump on the ground. But not run. You can't run anymore. "I just thought you like it…" Her eyes are smoky blue, pupils dilated, her face is flushed and her thumb and index suddenly catch your chin. "…rough." Her teeth nip a bit her lower lips as she pronounces the 'ph'.
That's it. You're done. Your mind, your heart – everything's fallen somewhere in your underwear.
"I-I-I-" Your eyes are reeling – from her eyes to her lips – because with her fingers holding your face you don't really have a field of vision.
She smirks {Stupid little Tori…} and then suddenly her lips clash with yours.
/
You should feel good. The fire between you legs is finally extinguished. Your itch is scratched. The throb is gone.
But you're not good. Actually you haven't felt that bad since a long time ago. The list in your mind gets bigger.
1) You let yourself fall for her.
2) You let her change you - you let her make you vulnerable.
3) You let her awaken the feelings in your heart you've promised yourself you'll never feel.
4) Feelings are for the weak (this is not actually a part of your list but you have to be reminded).
5) You let her make a fool out of you.
6) You let her kiss you.
7) You let her fuck you.
8) You let yourself make love to her.
9) You let yourself feel guilty about it later. Because Beck is your friend, he is innocent and he doesn't deserve any of this.
10) You let her make a fool out of you.
She's not in your bed when you wake up. She's not in the kitchen when you go downstairs. She's not waiting for you when you go to school.
Yes, she is there. In his arms.
And when she sees you, she smiles. Just like the previous night. And she attaches her lips to his.
You really hate Lewis Carroll right now.
…
It gets worse. Much worse. Because now:
1) She knows for sure you have feelings towards her.
2) You know she doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
3) Also you know she's playing with them…
4) …and it's slowly killing you.
You try to get into your thick skull that she isn't yours, she never was – she's just trying (and succeeding) to fuck you up. Even more. It doesn't matter. She just has to snap her fingers – and you'll be at her feet. You'll bear the pain. You'll welcome the pain. Because that means she'll pay attention to you.
And that's all you ever really wanted. Someone to pay attention to you. To praise you. To care.
Soon enough, you find out she doesn't care. She doesn't even look at you. There's no bickering, no menacing, no vile pranks. You don't exist. Beck is her whole world now. Their relationship has never been better.
You're unnecessary.
…
Your face is in tears, mascara running on your cheeks (you think you can taste it too), your nose is soiled with snot, your lips are trembling and your knees have probably dug a hole in the ground – a pathetic sight. You don't care. You don't think you can humiliate yourself more so why should it matter?
"Why?" You sob. "Why did you do this to me?"
She stands still, unmoving, right in front of you. Precisely, you've knelt in her feet.
"Because you're too good." She replies simply. "You're everybody's number one. I always come in second place."
"But you're my number one." You whimper miserably. Your mascara's already dripping on your T-shirt.
She smiles – not smirks or grins – just smiles.
"Now it's your turn to be second, Tori. You have to learn how to lose."
/
Please, tell me you love me.
Tell me you like my singing.
My acting.
My face.
My hair.
My eyes.
I need to hear it.
I need you to choose me over him.
That's what I live for.