I Deserved Better
(What should have gone down in the Denerim Dungeons. R&R please! Thanks for reading!)
His screams seemed to echo through the dank dungeon around us. I felt sick as I relished in the sound, knowing it had been me who caused it. I watched as my blade sliced through his left shoulder and he went down. The rest of my party managed to take down the rest of his men before they all granted me a pause. I shrieked, yanked my blade from his shoulder, and then stared down at the man who had caused me so much pain and anguish. The man that destroyed my family and turned me into the woman I am now. I watched as he cowardly started to shrink away from me, clutching himself as if he were about bleed out before us. I knew I hadn't wounded him bad enough. I let my sword fall from my side, the tip of the blade sliding against the cobblestone floor as I approached him dangerously slow. I listened to the sound of the metal scrapping against the floor, an extended sound as he stared down at the sharp object growing closer and closer to him. He glared up at me, venom on his tongue as he coughed, blood tinting his rotting teeth. A man of sheer madness and vile intent, looking at me with those eyes I'd love to rip from his skull. In that moment, I didn't care if he had a wife, children, anything. All I saw was the man that took my life from me. Destroyed it, salted it, and burned it to the ground.
"I deserved better…" He spat at my feet, his pain evident in his tone but I didn't care. His pain was just beginning. I then bent down to his level, my bright green eyes glistening with unshed tears. I wanted to scream in his face, berate him for all the pain he had caused, the damage he had dealt. But I knew it wouldn't matter, he wouldn't bother to apologize for it. Which to me, was a good thing. If anything resembling an apology escaped from his chapped lips, I'd probably tear his tongue out of his mouth and feed it to him. I was never a very vengeful person, but this was what I had sought from the beginning. Revenge. I swiftly shot out my hand, faster than he had noticed, and gripped his wounded shoulder in a vice grip. His agonized scream filled me with fury as I pulled him up to my face. I could smell the blood and death on him, a scent that suited him. I would make him pay for what he did to my family, to Ser Gilmore and Mother Mallol. He would pay for their pain, and he would pay for mine.
"Alixia-" Alistair attempted to intervene but he was halted by Sten's massive great sword slamming against his armor. Alistair grunted, looking up at the Qunari warrior who slowly looked down at him with sharp, violet eyes. "It is not your place, human. Stand back." He grunted before shoving the future king to the back like an inexperienced boy. I simply looked back at them, my eyes sharp as Sten returned a nod in my direction. He then turned to the rest of our crew and escorted them out of the dungeon. As I held onto Howe's shoulder, he watched in fear as Sten looked down at him before slamming the door shut behind him. He was left alone with me now, and he understood what awaited him.
I dragged his damaged body to the center of the dungeon. I looked toward the rack in front of me, but I decided that it would be too easy. I wanted him to feel the pain my father felt. To feel what it felt like as his life slowly slipped away from him. I pinned him down against the stone floor and listened as his sweat covered face slipped against it. He attempted to seem strong as I walked away from him. I left my back turned to him, I knew he would think he could get an upper hand on me if he tried. I reached for a blade on the table before me and I noticed the dry blood that lingered there. I wondered to myself, 'who did he use this on? An innocent elf? Gilmore? Mallol?' I slowly turned to look down at him, my thumb brushed against the blade before I bent down to his level.
"As your men flooded the gates, my father laid dying on the floor of the larder, do you ever stop to wonder what it felt like for him? What it felt like to watch his entire legacy crumble before him?" I asked viciously, knowing that he wouldn't dare speak to me. At least, if he knew what was good for him. Despite what he thought, he would meet his end, either way. He glared at me, his feet attempting to put distance between us, but it would do him no good. Before long, I reached for his ankle and yanked his fading form to me. He grunted in fear, almost a grunted whimper as he looked up at me. Almost as fast as I pulled him toward me, I plunged the blade down and through his abdomen. His garish screams reverberated off the walls of the dungeon, almost deafening me as I twisted the blade in his body.
Sten stood against the door, his eyes staring at the wall before him as he waited for it to be over. He looked to his right to see Alistair holding the back of his head, almost as if he couldn't handle the sounds. Morrigan stood to the side, her arms folded across her chest as she watched the door intently, almost like she wanted to be in there watching. "Maker, shouldn't we stop her? Do you not understand that this could damage her farther?" Alistair snapped finally, his hazel gaze tearing into the Qunari. Sten slowly turned his gaze to Alistair, his eyes almost bored with him. "Then you've obviously never had something to really fight for." Sten said rather harshly before returning his gaze to the wall before him, no longer wishing to engage in conversation with him.
His blood was smeared across my cheeks as he arched his back. I yanked the blade from his stomach for a fourth time before I tossed it to the ground away from us with a clatter. Then, I slid from him and leaned against the wall behind me. I watched him as he held his bleeding stomach. I watched his blood seem to pour free from him like a fountain. Crimson life force spread across the stone floor like it had in my family's larder. Like it had beneath my father as I watched him writhe in agony. My gaze seemed transfixed on the pool of blood before Howe's wheezing caught my attention. I looked up from it to see a sickening smirk slowly form across his lips. His breathing was laboring, his limbs were shutting down, but he was still finding the time to smirk at me. One last psychological stir before he was torn from this plane of existence.
"You think you've won now, Warden, hm? You've avenged your family now and as I lay here dying at your hand, you think you've bested me…But you're wrong." He gagged, his palm sliding in his own blood as his body hit the stone floor. I slowly let my gaze lock on his eyes as he glared up at me, that smirk still resting on his paling face. "Every moment you live from now on, you will remember this day. You will remember the fury, the hatred, and the lust…Remember how it felt to cause me such pain. You've…become me…Little Alixia…You are no better than I." He said with a raspy chuckle. "Pity for you. For I still get the last laugh." He choked before his head slammed against the stone floor and he was silent. The air left his lungs and he ceased to move. I glared down at his body, my breath shaking as tears slowly slip from my eyes. He was right. I had become just like him, dealing out the punishment I sought for him. I become no different. My blood soaked hands reached up to hold my head, the thoughts swirling inside making me ache as I let out a sob. My chest tightened and my shoulders quaked as I allowed the magnitude of what I had just done take hold of me. I shrieked, tears spilling onto my cheeks as I curled into myself. I didn't notice the door of the dungeon open as Sten stepped into the room, his large boots slamming against the cobblestone floor. Only when he took a hold of my arm did I take notice to his presence. His large hand seemed to lift me directly to my feet before staring down at me with those intense eyes. The tears ceased to fall, but stained my pale face as I trembled before him. I had lost my resolve, my leadership put to the test. Then, he reached out and grabbed a hold of my shoulder, nodding his head firmly.
"Lead onward, Kadan. We are finished here." He said simply, yet I understood it between the lines. I wiped my eyes dry, my green gaze falling to the corpse of the man who had caused months of nightmares, pain, and anger. I had half a mind to spit on him, but I was better than that. I moved away, Sten at my back as we filtered out of the dungeon. I then paused and glanced at Morrigan and Alistair as they stood to the side of me. Alistair moved toward me, eager to aid his lover. I lifted a hand to him and it caused him to halt in his position. I could almost see a sense of hurt in his eyes as I slowly let my hand fall.
"Move out." Then I moved on, walking past him rather coldly as Sten fell in step behind me without a word uttered. I wasn't going to vent my feelings in a dungeon corridor. I wasn't going to vent my feelings at all. It was done, and it was time to move on. We had a Blight to end.