Tortured Soul
By: Celestial Angel
Disclaimers: I don't own Digimon, never have, never will. That belongs to Toei, Saban and Fox Kids. The only things I own in this story are the plot, the concept of the Guardians and the character of Fate. All right? Good.
Author's Note: Yes, I know that I haven't finished Rose yet, but believe me, I am working on it, just not today. After I saw Saturday's episode, The Genesis of Evil, I just had to write this. It was sooooooo sad. It had me crying right up til the very end when that stupid announcer came in with his stupid question. It was sooo sad that I had to watch it again and I cried then too! Basically, I loved the episode and just had to write a fanfic for it. Oh yes, and sorry about the awful ending of Immortality, but I decided to tie it into a future fanfic. You'll see what I'm talking about in the Obelisk series which will come out after Rose is done. K? Now, to the story. Oh, and if I do have any readers left, thank you for your great patience, Trust me, it will be worth it ( at least, I hope so). Oh yes, nothing, NOTHING at all happened between the two characters in this story! All right? Good.
*~*~*
He stood on the bridge and ever so cautiously, leaned against the flimsy metal railing that bordered the edges of the concrete and metal structure, which was oddly out of place near the empty beach. An evening wind stirred up ad caused his short, ebony-colored hair, to ruffle around his tear stained face. He blinked away the angry, bitter tears that came to his navy-blue eyes, denying their existence, yet all the while, wanting them to exist. He blinked them away and watched them fall into the waters of the digital ocean whose waves lapped peacefully against the nearby beach. He stood alone on the bridge, high above the ocean, watching the sun sink down and slowly disappear beneath the distant horizon, warming the world until the very last moment. He now stood there in silence, watching the golden orb slowly vanish, sounding the finale of the day, the day which was to be his last.
Of course, it's not that he'd ever really lived, well, I knew that he didn't think so. As he stands there, a solitary soul, I hear his tortured thoughts, all of them.
Ever since his companion died, he hasn't been the same. He's become…distant, almost isolated from the world around him. He was such a kind soul, so loving and caring, but of course, he has his dark side. After all, he's only human, and all humans make mistakes. Yes. He's only human. He's not some emotionless computer that we can all just maltreat, he's a living breathing human being who has hopes, dreams, and most of all, a soul.
He feels, though, that no one understands that except for him, but I agree with him fully. I wish that I could tell him so, but, he doesn't even know I exist, well, not yet anyway. I understand what he is going through, because, I share, not only his thoughts, but part of his soul.
He feels angry, both at the world, and at himself. He's angry at the world for burdening him with not only his own destiny, but also, his brother's. He feels that he must live up to his brother's life, even though it was that short. He feels that he must be someone whom he is not, and in my opinion, that is not right under any circumstances.
He's angry at the world for thinking he's perfect when he's not. All that pressure,all that stress, the "must be perfect" drill repeating over and over in his head. He can't…no, mustn't make a mistake, or else, he will be punished.
It's not fair to him, or anyone for that matter. No one should have to go through life without being able to make a single mistake. After all, it's human nature to err. He couldn't take it anymore. That's why he came here, to escape.
" Goodbye, Ken."
The dying words of his friend still echo in both our minds, reminding us of the heart-rending deaths of both his brother and Wormon.
He misses them both so much, that there are no words in the entire human language to describe just how much he truly misses them. He never wanted them to die, he never would have, but he feels that in someway, he could have saved his brother and he knows that he could have saved Wormon. It's that knowledge that tortures his soul day and night. He wants them to come back, but he knows they never will and that sends him into another bout of grief.
He feels that the absolute only way that his tortured soul could ever be at peace, was for him to join his brother and Wormon for all eternity
When I heard this, my gut clenched sickeningly. "No!" I thought, " He can't do this! He mustn't!"
How I wished that I could tell his everything I knew, everything I felt, everything I thought, but my wishes were in vain. Fate clamped my mouth shut and I could not say a thing. Even now, as I watch him step over the fragile railing onto a thin ledge preparing to jump into the open arms of death, I could do nothing for I was still a prisoner of Fate.
I hung my head and began to weep silently, the ethereal tears vanishing into nothingness as they fell.
Fate had dealt us both a cruel blow, but I couldn't help but feel, that mine had been crueler, far crueler. I had failed him miserably. I was supposed to protect his precious, yet all too fleeting existence, but there he was, ready to die and I was powerless to do anything to save him. He would never get to see his beautiful future! If only he hadn't chosen this path! If only! If only!
The sun had long since vanished below the thin line of the horizon, only to be replaced by the radiant moon which cast the world with a silvery glow.
I lunged forward and struggled against the invisible, unbreakable bonds that held me, trying with all my strength to cry out, but both efforts were in vain. I was still a captive Fate and would continue to be until it was decided that I should be freed.
I saw him look down at his hands and I heard him think, " This is the only way I can atone for my sins. It's the only way."
No! I wanted to scream. It's not the only way! Please! Stop!
My frantic cries were never uttered, however, as I soon found myself speechless and paralyzed by horror.
I saw him spread his arms open in imitation of wings and shut his eyes against the incredible sight of the fall. The only role that I could play right now, was a hideous one. All through this time I could do nothing else but act as a spectator. I saw the wind rise up one last time causing his hair to ruffle one last time. With one graceful motion, he dove off of the bridge and fell with gaining speed towards the treacherous waves.
"No!" I screamed as I dove forward, trying in vain to follow him, but still being restrained by the bonds. "No!" I screamed again, " Fate! Please! PLEASE let me go! Please! I beg of you! Please let me save him! Please!"
I thrust forward again, growing more desperate as I saw him draw nearer to the fatal waves. I sensed no fear from him even as this fatal plunge drew to a close, but that didn't ease my anxiety one bit. I continued to struggle, hoping against hope that Fate would heed my cries. I felt myself growing weaker and I knew that my strength would fail me soon, rendering me unable to aid him, even if I was freed. Maybe, maybe that was what Fate wanted.
No! I couldn't think that! Like the sun, doing it's job until the last second of the end, so must I continue fighting to protect him. Using the last of my strength, I thrust forward one last time, hoping that I might break free. I felt the bonds strain against me, and in my heart, I truly felt that they wouldn't break, but I perservered anyway.
To my great relief and gratitude, with that last, strong lurch, I felt the bonds break with a refreshing snap and I was free to save him.
My large feathered wings sprung into existence at the call and I dove forward towards him, all the while spouting thanks to whoever had freed me. I was weak, I had little, if no energy left, but I would do everything in my power to save him. If it be to sacrifice my life, then so be it. I would NOT let him down.
The freezing night air blasted my face, forcing me to close my eyes, but I knew that I could never lose sight of him. We shared a soul, so it would be next to impossible. The purplish waves of the sea churned sickeningly beneath me, and it was all I could do not to lose control and spiral downwards into the treacherous waves. My course was a dangerous one, but it was the only one available. Diving downwards in a headlong plunge, I raced towards his limp form, praying that I wouldn't be too late.
Time passed ever so slowly in the moments. For me, every moment stretched into eternity; I really thought that I wouldn't make in time, but I knew, that if I didn't try, I would definitely fail him. I wouldn't take that risk. I continued my downwards fall.
In reality, it took me only two minutes to reach him, but it felt like two hours. When I reached him, I stretched my arms out and caught him, but the sheer velocity of his fall sent us both plowing into the churning waters.
I felt myself lose conciousness for about a moment; I knew this because one moment I was hitting the surface and the next minute, we were about a mile below the surface.
I felt him go limp in my arms and my concern rose greatly. I knew that he hadn't died from the fall because I had caught him in time before the jaws of death clamped shut over him, but now, we were both in danger.
My lungs burned with fire, but the instinct to not breathe, was stronger than any sense of self-preservation. I felt him slipping from my grasp, and to my great horror, he plunged a few feet and I dove back down to get him. Valuable moments passed, but I knew that I mustn't panic for his sake.
I fought against the overwhelming urge to just give up, to forfeit both our lives, but the very fact that I was able to attempt to save him was enough to drive me on. He was unconcious now and both of us were soaked thoroughly. My clothes clung to me, impeding my progress, but I continued. Somehow between kicking like mad and trying to hang on to him, I managed to get both of us back to the surface.
When we broke the surface, I sucked in air, grateful to even be able to breathe again, that I almost forgot that he had to breathe as well. I lifted him above the waves, willing him to start breathing again. At first he didn't, and concern and fear grew. I begged him to start breathing again, I relied upon our link heavily, so heavily, that I thought the strain alone might kill us both. I continued my pleas, hoping, that somehow he might hear me. Please! I begged him, Please! Breathe!
I shook him gently, hoping to bring him back to conciousness, all the while trying to keep both of us afloat. After a few minutes, he went into a violent coughing fit in a desperate attempt to expell the foreign substance from his lungs. Surely enough, he did and drew in several rasping breaths of the vital air.
It was at this time, that I realized that it would do neither of us good if he recovered here in the middle of the ocean only to go under again. My eyes scanned for something, anything that could keep us afloat, but there was nothing here. It looked as though I would have to try for the shore.
I turned back to him and saw him open his eyes slightly, the navy orbs clouded, yet still bright and full of the spark of life. I smiled back at him, even though I knew that he could not see me. To him, I was still invisible, all he felt was my presence. It was one of those things that people could pass off as an active imagination, but I knew that he was indeed aware of a presence, even if it was not mine.
My wings were wet, impeding my swimming, but I decided to us them to my advantage and began to use them to cleave the water as well as my arms. I could feel his thoughts resurface and the first thing that came to his mind was, how am I still alive? When no answer came, he decided to try swimming towards the shore. His weakened strokes did little, but I was comforted that he was trying to survive.
A few minutes later and we reached the shore. As soon as we stepped out of the surf, I instantly regretted it because the winds blew coldly in sharp, icy gusts which chilled both of us to the bone. It would be no good if he froze now and he was too tired to even try to gather some wood for a fire. He staggered weakly out of the frothing, churning waves and collapsed weakly onto the white sands. I too was exhausted and collapsed onto the semi-warm sand which still retained some of the sun's heat. We both lay there for a few minutes taking in some warmth, though little it was. The freezing wind still chilled us to the bone though, drawing all warmth from our soaking, shivering frames.
I stood up and slowly made my way towards him. I was his guardian. It was my duty to protect him. My wings were still wet, but the would still act as an insulator, preserving his body heat until morning came. I drew upon the link again and asked him to sit up. He complied unknowingly to the request. I sat across from him. I knew that he sensed my presence because his eyes searched the space around him for some sign of life. On this desolate beach, however, there was none. Not even a night bird broke the continuity of the ebony sky above us. Not even a single star was out tonight. The only things were the moon, he and me.
I lightly touched hi forehead with my hand. I knew that that would allow him to sense my presence, but still not to see me. As I enfolded him in my wings, the feathers whispered softly a gentle lullaby.
"Who are you?" He asked the empty air, though I was sure that the question was intended for me.
I leant my forehead against his and whispered, " One who cares."
" How can you care about me after what I've done."
" I understand," was my reply.
" What?"
" Everyone makes mistakes."
" Yo..you understand how I feel!" He spoke in hushed whispers, barely able to contain his surprise.
" Yes, I do. I understand you completely because we are one and the same."
He was silent for a short time, but eventually asked, " What should I do?" Crystaline tears began to fall from his eyes again, but I would not allow sorrow during such a profound moment. I brushed them away with a phantom touch.
" Tene semper spem" I said.
I felt the surprise spark in his mind. He looked around in surprise. " Always keep hope? How can I? I can't help but feel that all hope is lost for me."
I tightened my wings around him and carressed his dripping wet hair gently with my touch of a ghost.
" Shh. Hope is not lost. It is never lost. I learnt that very same lesson myself."
He did not reply and I made no move to prompt him. We sat in silence on the sandy beach, waiting for the light of dawn.
About two hours later the first light came. Dawn came strangely calmly as a slight grayish thing. It wasn't exactly the spectacular fanfare he had expected, yet, I felt that in his heart, he felt as though he had never seen a more beautiful thing than this cloudy, plain dawn of a new day.
By this time,of course, my wings were dry and now, I knew that it was time for me to leave. Now that the warmth of day was returning, there was no need for me to stay. I withdrew my wings and, as one person, we stood up.
" I must leave," I said simply.
He didn't protest. I knew he understood as best as he could. " Will I ever see you again?" was his answer.
I sighed. " I don't know. Maybe. But, I can promise you this, even if you can not see me, I will always be right by your side. I will never leave you as long as I exist."
He gave me a long, sad smile as he turned to walk away.
The wind rose up again and sent some of my loose wing feathers skittering across the sand. One of the longest one, now fully visible landed at his feet. He stopped and stared at it in what could only be described as disbelief before picking it up. He ran his fingers along the feather as though testing whether or not it was real. When he was satisfied that it was real, he stuck it into his pocket before walking towards the nearest portal and vanishing back into his world.
I now stood on the beach, alone, but joy pervaded my…no, our soul. We both had our lives back. We were both free now. No longer and never again will we be a tortured soul.
A/N: So, what'd you think? Was it good, awful, strange? Lemme know. I'd appreciate it. Oh, also, I'm probably going to vanish for long periods of time as time goes on. I'm sorry I've left you hanging with Rose. Just to stop that as much as possible, starting around December 18,2000, I'm going to put up "spoilers" for the next parts of any stories currently running. They'll be posted at the following address:
http://www.angelfire.com/pokemon/aquaria/storyprevmenu.html
All right? That won't be up till Dec. 18 though, but it's the best I can do. Thanks for your patience, it's greatly appreciated-Celestial Angel.