The guilt was overwhelming him.
3:27 a.m.
The clock flashed the horrible truth at the doctor. His mind was wrought with guilt, and he couldn't escape it. He thought maybe a bit of reading would help get his mind off it all, and started to get out of bed.
"What are you doing?" she asked, so tired Hatori couldn't tell whether or not she was fully conscious.
"I can't sleep, I'm going to get a glass of water." Hatori said, in half truth. He didn't want her to think he'd be gone for anything more than a minute so that she would go straight back to sleep. These days, it was all he could do to look her in the eyes and not be eaten up by that which kept his mind constantly occupied.
They were engaged to be married, he and Kana. The family marked the obvious change in Hatori's demeanor, and knew that for the first time in a long time he seemed to be at peace. It was a welcome change for someone who spent so much time thinking of others. Now, he too had someone near to his heart. The engagement announcement was just as quiet and subdued as Hatori himself. A small dinner amongst their friends, Mayuko, Shigure and Akito, Mine and Ayame. The latter being the key, because they knew that once Ayame heard the news, there would be no need for Hatori to go out of his way to tell anyone else.
Yuki and Kyo each wore matching looks of surprise when Shigure gave them the news, and Tohru blessed Kana with a radiant smile. Hatsuharu and Rin both silently congratulated them. Ritsu and Mitsuru went above and beyond in their congratulatory hysterics, and Kagura hugged Hatori to the point of pain. Kisa and Hiro, as well as Kureno and Arisa sent them cards and flowers. Everyone was happy about the engagement, and they all were very excited to see how Hatori would handle the coming months. Momiji was genuinely happy for Hatori, though seeing someone he considered a father-figure in a life without him seemed to cause him even more loneliness.
Kana quickly sensed that Momiji had been spending decidedly less time at Hatori's. She invited him over for breakfast one morning while Hatori was out on errands for Akito.
"I've noticed you've been coming over less and less. Do you want to talk about it?" Kana asked. Getting straight to the point was something she'd learned from Hatori, and she found it quite effective for the most part.
Momiji looked at her with a serious expression. She noted how much he'd grown lately. Soon he would be rivaling his elder cousins in height as well as looks.
He smiled at her sadly. "Well, it's just.. I see you two together and I know how happy you both are. I.. I feel like I'm intruding. Hatori is not my father, I know that. I know that, but... he's the only person that I've ever really felt watched out for me. Losing him-"
"Losing him? Momiji, you aren't losing him. You are still there, here. He worries over you like he would a child. In fact, when we were talking about moving into a bigger place, he insisted that we have a room for you."
"Wow... well, I guess. I guess it's more like I feel like a third wheel, you know? That and.. well, I'm not sure how to put this but.."
"It's ok, Miji, you can say whatever is on your mind."
"You guys can get kind of loud at night, if you know what I mean." Momiji just blurted it out with a mischevious grin.
With that, Kana turned about as red as the strawberry on Momiji's pancakes. Kana was a fount of innocence, and Hatori about as gentlemanly as they come, so to just put it out in the open like that was a source of great amusement to the ex-rabbit.
"...And we will ensure your room will be on the opposite end of the house." is all Hatori heard when he walked in. The two sitting at the breakfast table were fit to bust with laughter by the time he made it in the kitchen. He quickly decided that whatever it was they were amused about definitely involved him.
"Do I even want to know?" He asked Kana, later that evening.
Kana grinned mischeviously and said nothing. She let her actions speak for her.
The two were a perfect combination. She, outwardly a sweet innocent woman, and he, outwardly quiet and restrained. At night, they left their personas at the foot of the bed and gave in to their most human desires.
Afterwards, their breaths fill the silence in the air. They don't have to say it, they can feel it.
True Love.
Where did I go wrong? I'm not this kind of man, or am I? I love her. I love her. So why? Why did I do this?
It was 4:53 a.m.
He had given up on sleep a long time ago. He got in bed, and just sat. Sat until she woke up.
When she woke up, he looked at her and remembered why. He loved her. He loved her so much he couldn't live with himself. How was this even possible? She leaned over and kissed him. Even with her morningbreath, he relished the touch. He wrapped his arms around her and they laid back down, her head on his chest. He began absentmindedly playing with her hair. She ran her smooth hands up and down his chest, and then lower. It wasn't long before his preoccupations were lost on physical intimacy.
Afterwards, their breaths fill the silence in the air. They don't have to say it, they can feel it.
True Guilt.
Mayuko and Hatori looked at eachother, and that's when they realized they were both weeping. Weeping for the one who changed their lives forever. Weeping for the one who's life they would change forever.
"We need to tell her."