Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wish I did, but in the words of the late Severus Snape, "Live isn't fair." lol
I sat down beside the newly-christened Lily Potter. It was her wedding day to James Potter, and the best man speech was about to start.
"Hey, Lily, I should probably take your wand from you right about now. Sirius is about to stand up."
"No, Remus, I need to be able to shut him up if he starts…"
"Lily…"
She handed her wand over just as Sirius stood up with a huge grin on his face. James looked at him with a threat clear in his eye, and Sirius smirked in my direction. Everyone in the huge banquet hall fell silent.
"Soronus," Sirius muttered, pointing his wand at his throat. His voice rang out over the hall.
"Well everyone, here we are. Never thought I'd see this day, to be completely honest with you lot. But now for the awaited Best Man speech. The memories we've all shared are spectacular. Remember that day we all met? No? We all met on the train first year. Me, James, and Lily found ourselves in the same compartment. It's where all the magic started for our dear groom up here. It was love at first sight. For James, anyway. For Lily, it was hate at first sight. We were all so extremely lucky that our dear Lily-Flower was a muggleborn, so that she didn't know any curses on the way to Hogwarts that year. I swear, if she had, Jamie here wouldn't have lived past first year!"
I stopped staring at Sirius and glanced at Lily, to see her face was bright red.
"Anyway, I swore to James that I wouldn't harass him too much, so I shouldn't talk about first year. Or second, for that matter. Or third. Or... yeah not fourth either. Fifth? Nope. Sixth... Not the best idea... How about this, I'll tell you guys about their first date."
James started shaking his head quickly, and was trying desperately to get the other man's attention. Sirius didn't notice.
"Yes, James Potter over here had Remus and I follow them around in an invisibility cloak so we could tell him about Lily's reactions to things he said and did. I told him he was mental, and that she was surely catch us, but he insisted. So we, being the good friends that we were, agreed."
Lily shot a glare at me, and I flinched and gave her a sheepish smile.
"So there Remmy and I were, standing about three feet from Prongs and the Lily-Flower, and they start making out."
James buried his face in his hands as the crowd laughed. Lily turned even redder.
"And how did the rest of the date go? I have no idea. Not only did Rem and I leave immediately, our dear Moony had to stop me from gouging my eyes and ears out. And I forbade James from telling us what happened after that. Especially since he didn't get back to the school until eleven that night. We thought it was safest to not find out how the date ended."
Lily laid her head on the table as I started laughing. She shot me another glare and said, "Remus John Lupin, you shut him up right now!"
"No can do, Lils, he summoned the wands." It was a lie, but I had taken an oath to not stop Sirius' speech. James and Sirius had insisted on it.
"And now, here we are. At my brother and sister's wedding, and I couldn't be happier for these two. Wait, that sounded really bad, didn't it. For the record, it isn't incest." Everyone laughed again, and James chuckled weakly. "And now, a toast. Everyone stand up." No one did. "STAND UP!"
"I knew we shouldn't have let him near the firewhiskey," Lily whispered to me. I laughed.
Everyone stood up and raised their goblets. "To James Charlus Potter and Lily Marie Evans Potter. May you… what was it. Remmy, what was that thing Lily said to us once?"
I laughed slightly and shot Lily an apologetic look. "Live long and prosper."
"That's it! To James Charlus Potter and Lily Marie Evans Potter. May you guys live long and prosper! Love you guys!"
Everyone echoed the sentiment and we all drank to the couple.
James turned to his best friend, and punched him playfully on the shoulder.
"Thanks a lot, mate, now I'm sleeping on the couch on my wedding night!"
Everyone within hearing distance laughed.