By Guardian Angel (eyes_only1@yahoo.com)
Setting: This takes place during and after Prodigy, taking a closer look into what is happening between Logan and Max.
Rating: PG-13, possibly R, for language…uses the f-word.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters (though I would not at all object to getting my hands on Logan! ;-), so please don't sue…I'm just a poor little girl, trying to satisfy my craving for Dark Angel until the new episode, still 10 days away…
BTW, if you're in the mood for a soundtrack to accompany this song, I was listening to "Everything" and "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse, and "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters while writing this…it seems oddly appropriate!
*****
Max crept into the deserted control room, sneaking closer to the window so that she could see what was going on down below, with the hostages. She could see Logan down below, talking with…Lydecker?
Trust Logan to make nice with my worst enemy…what the hell is he doing here, anyway?
Just then, she saw the leader of the terrorists stalk up to Logan, looking like he was about to fly apart in a rage. Uh-oh… Max pressed her ear against the glass, hoping to be able to hear what the man was saying to her friend, but he was talking too softly. Except…
"Take him away."
Two men stepped forward and took control of Logan's wheelchair, rolling him away.
SHIT. Not Logan…I CAN'T lose Logan!
She slipped out of the room, silently following the men up to the roof. In order to remain undetected she had to stay fairly far behind the men; by the time she reached the roof they already had Logan in front of the edge. Terrified at the thought of losing her friend, Max acted more on instinct than anything else, grabbing a cable that someone had left lying about and hooking it to the side of the wall. She watched as the men hefted Logan onto the edge, wincing inwardly at the dangle of his useless legs, and as they tossed him over she dove after him, arm outstretched.
Please oh please oh please let this work…come on Logan, grab hold…don't let me be too late!
The words were a silent chant in her head, as the brief seconds seemed to stretch out into hours…and then she was close enough for him to grab her hand, her running start giving her enough momentum to catch up with him, despite her lesser weight. She felt his hand, solid in her own, as he clung to her wrist.
Oh thank you thank you…dear lord that was close!
Still shaken by the near miss, Max somehow managed to work herself around so that she was in front of Logan, and he could wrap his arms around her waist. The feel of him, warm and solid against her back, was enough to jolt her mind back into working order and she forced herself to concentrate. They weren't out of this mess yet, though things were definitely looking a lot better than they had a few seconds ago.
Let's see…I wonder how long we have before they get smart and cut the rope…How the hell do we get off this carnival of fun?
Just then the rope jerked taut, stopping their headlong fall. The momentum started to swing them inwards, towards the building, and to Max's relief she saw that they were about even with a hotel room window. She allowed the rope to keep swinging them towards the window, at the last minute using her boot to break the glass so that the two of them were not cut to shreds on the sharp edges. Just as her foot connected with the window she felt the rope give way as the men above blasted it apart with their guns, and she and Logan went flying into the room, landing on the bed with a loud oomph, the breath knocked out of them both.
As she caught her breath and the world became stable again, she realized that she was lying almost completely on top of Logan, his left arm trapped beneath her body. Glass shards covered them both.
She felt Logan stir beneath her, reaching up to fix his glasses. She turned to him, and asked, "you all right?"
Amusingly enough, he had the same thought, and his still-slightly-breathless "you ok?" tumbled over her own words.
Seeing that he was alive and kickin', Max's concern and fear morphed into anger as she sat up and faced him, still leaning partially on him. "What are you doing here?"
"I was gonna ask you the same question, I went through a lot of trouble to get you released." He propped himself up on his elbows so he could see her better. He was willing to bet that she had no clue that with the way she was leaning towards him, he had a very nice cleavage view. He valiantly tried to keep his gaze on her face and avoid temptation…God she's gorgeous!
Too upset to be grateful, Max smacked him (albeit lightly) on the chest, asking, "What were you thinking, exchanging yourself for us?!"
"You should be thanking me!" He looked slightly perturbed that she was refusing to follow his reasoning. In fact, instead of looking grateful, she just looked slightly stunned and incredulous at his words.
"Thanking you?!?"
Rushing to defend himself, he exclaimed, "You'd still be trapped in that room with those morons if it wasn't for me," as she continued on with, "You'd have been thrown off the roof if it wasn't for me!" Once again, their words tumbled over each other in their haste to make themselves heard.
Frustrated, Max muttered, "forget it," and Logan echoed her sentiments, saying, "never mind…"
Deciding she'd better get out of there before she did something crazy…Like beat Logan senseless for making me worry like that…or kiss him…Kiss him? What the hell am I thinking…Max started to climb off the bed…
…only to be utterly surprised as Logan grabbed hold of the cable, still fastened around her waist, and jerked her on top of him again. She landed over him on all fours, her mouth mere millimeters from his, and his piercing blue eyes locked onto hers.
Her thoughts scattered, the only thing remaining in her head the startled and unwelcome thought, Oh my god…he's going to kiss me…
Meanwhile, Logan was mentally berating himself. What the HELL are you doing? If she starts to think that you fantasize about that luscious mouth of hers way more than you should, she'll be out the door in a second. IDIOT. You KNOW she doesn't want to know that you can't get her out of your head. Besides, why would a goddess like her be attracted to a useless man like you, stuck in a wheelchair? You know the only reason she hangs around is because you're useful to her…her meal ticket, as she never forgets to remind you!
Shutting the bitter thoughts out of his mind, he forced himself to NOT close the microscopic distance between their lips, and instead to say, "I was just trying to save the kid." Only of course she seemed to have the exact same thought, and for the third time in the last two minutes their words overlapped. If it weren't so damn frustrating, this situation would be funny, he told himself.
Sitting up again, she started to jerkily untie the cable from around her waist. He lifted his hands, as if to help her, but then thinking better of it he dropped them again, simply taking hold of the cable once she was free of it, and pulling it away. She climbed off the bed, taking a moment at the door to straighten her clothing, and to shoot him an unreadable look, before slinking out the door.
Logan flopped back onto the bed, mentally repeating every swear word he could think of at least five times, and calling himself ten kinds of idiot. It didn't help.
********
(Later that night)
Max let herself into the darkened apartment, knowing that Logan would probably be too involved in his computer stuff to bother answering the doorbell, even if she had bothered to ring it. As she walked down the hall the place was silent, the only sign of life was the light coming from his study. As she reached his "hideout," Max paused in the doorway. He was seated at the computer; so intent on the screen he hadn't noticed her approach.
Why does that not surprise me, she thought to herself. When he's lost in computer-land, you could drop a bomb right behind him and he'd never notice. Out loud, she said, "Hey."
He looked up, and seeing her in the doorway, gave her a happy grin as he not-so-subtly perused her body, and said, "Hey yourself!"
Did he just do what I thought he did? So, he is human after all…I never would have guessed, I thought he just regarded me as his legs!
To cover her discomfort at her line of thought, she glanced down at his computer screen. He followed her gaze, commenting, "Ordering myself a new wheelchair. Looking for one with the jet thrusters." Max couldn't help but notice that he accompanied this comment with little hand motions and the cutest expression, much like a little boy in a toy store.
Growing more somber, Max decided she'd better get this over with before she lost her cool completely. Trying to act like nothing was wrong (and hoping desperately that she succeeded), she said, "Thanks for bailing the gals out of there today, myself included." There, that wasn't so bad, now was it? Apologies and thank-yous were not her strong point.
"Right back at ya, taking a header off that building was above and beyond the call."
"Just looking out for my meal ticket. How many guys can cook and save the world?"
Logan tried to hide his disappointment at her statement, hoping she wouldn't notice how much he hated being referred to as her "meal ticket."
"So, that was Lydecker."
"Yup, my own private antichrist. Up close and personal." Unable to contain her restlessness at the turn the conversation had taken, she turned away, stalking about the room for a few seconds before turning back to face Logan.
"Shorter than I imagined. Do we have any idea why he was there?"
"Same as me, looking for answers. He said all of us, his gifted children, were flawed."
"Seizures?" Logan referred to the seizures that he knew she suffered from every once in awhile when the tryptophan levels in her body were low.
"I got the sense he was talking about something even worse…I saved his life."
"And here I thought I was special."
"He was about to take a bullet in the head, all I had to do was stand there, do nothing, and I could cross Donald Lydecker off my list of things to worry about."
Trying to inject some humor into the situation, Logan commented, "You didn't exploit tactical advantage over your enemy?" He raised his eyebrows. "He'd be so disappointed if he knew."
"How sick is that?! But for some reason I couldn't let it happen. I have no idea why."
"Life good, murder bad?"
She shot that idea down with a slight shake of her head. "I'm not that high-minded…Lydecker's the one guy who knows what's going on in this freak show body of mine, whether or not this bar code has an expiration date, and I guess I couldn't let him die with that secret."
"Whatever you have to tell yourself. The fact is, you saved a man's life today." Two men, actually…but if I start to dwell on that…
"A bad man."
"It's still a good thing."
Max looked doubtful. "I'm not so sure…" Shaking aside her doubts, she walked towards him again, placing her hand on his computer desk and leaning on it. "But you know what really bums my ass out? I had a chance to swipe some towels from the hotel and I totally spaced it."
Logan tried to concentrate on what she was saying, and not on the way her shirt was now riding even higher above her navel than it had been. "Next time."
"Yeah, next time." She smiled at him. "So, what are your plans for tonight? More of the History Channel?" She grinned impudently at him, never tiring of teasing him about his favorite choice in television. You'd think with as rich as the man is, he could afford a better selection in T.V!
"Ya know, there's a really good expose on the Second World War on tonight. Wanna join me? I'll cook!" He grinned back at her, knowing he'd never live his love of history down.
"Hmm…as tempting as that sounds…how about not? I'll take you up on that offer of food, though! I'm starving!"
"All right, come on, you can help." He stifled his disappointment; he knew history was not her forte and hadn't really expected her to join him anyway.
"K!" Max followed him into the kitchen, hopping up to take a seat on one of the counters while he wheeled himself over to the fridge to take a look.
"What do you feel like? We've got chicken, beef, and…" He rummaged through the back of the fridge, shifting cans and jars out of the way. "And…looks like that's it."
"Hmm…I don't care, as long as it's not vegetarian. Kendra's gone on this veggie kick; she refuses to allow anything animal into the apartment. It's damn annoying!"
Logan smiled and pulled out the beef. "Now let's see, what can I fix with this?" He continued rummaging around, collecting ingredients on his lap as he found something that struck his fancy. "Ok, we're set. How does steak with whiskey peppercorn sauce and mashed potatoes sound?"
"Devine! Watcha want me to do?"
"Why don't you peel the potatoes and start them cooking while I work on the steak."
Max slid off the counter and took the potatoes from him, going over to the sink to begin work.
They worked in a companionable atmosphere, chatting idly and trading jokes as they prepared the meal and then sat down to eat. Max dug eagerly into her food, the smell of everything cooking had made her even hungrier. She sighed appreciatively as she took the first bite. "This is fabulous…Logan, you are a god among men!"
He smiled. "I'm glad you approve. This is one of my favorite recipes."
After dinner Max cleared the table, then began doing the dishes. She knew it was difficult for Logan to reach the sink from his wheelchair.
"Max, you don't have to do that, just leave it. Bling will take care of it tomorrow."
"Nu-uh, you cooked, I can clean. I've heard somewhere that it's an old pre-pulse tradition. Don't worry, I can fight off a group of heavily armed men no sweat, I don't think some dirty dishes and soap will kill me! Go watch your T.V. or something, and let me work." She gestured him out of the room.
After completing the dishes, she put everything away, then walked into the living room where Logan sat, watching the T.V. She plopped down into the chair next to his wheelchair, stared fixedly at the screen for a few seconds before commenting, "Fascinating." He chuckled as she leaped up from the chair to prowl restlessly around the room.
"Something wrong Max?"
"I don't know…I need to get out, use up some energy."
He sighed inwardly…what did you expect, moron, that she'd be content to sit around watching T.V. all night with a cripple? "Ok, well, I'll see-"
She interrupted him, taking him by surprise. "Want to go for a walk?"
He couldn't stop the smile that crossed his face. "Sure, that sounds good. Lead the way, oh fearless warrior." He followed her out the door, pausing to lock it behind them and pocket the keys.
Descending to the ground floor, they stepped out into the night, walking in silence for a while, each lost in his/her own thoughts.
Eventually Max tired of the silence, and glanced over at Logan's thoughtful face. He looks kinda sad, I wonder why? "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Well…no, never mind, it's not really important."
"C'mon Logan, you can't say that…now you've got me curious! What's got you so down?"
He was silent for a few moments, then he sighed, resigned to the fact that she wouldn't stop bugging him until he told her.
"It's just that, well…you confuse me Max." Seeing her baffled expression, he realized he was going to have to elaborate. "It's like, one minute I think I'm actually getting somewhere with you, that you might actually consider me as somewhat of a friend. And then suddenly everything changes, you close down, and once again it's like I've been reduced once again to your informant, your 'meal ticket' as you so often call me. It's getting damn frustrating, I never know if I'm going to overstep my bounds with something I do or say."
Max stopped walking, turning to face him. Her eyes were sober as she studied him for a moment. "Is that really what you think? That I only regard you as my meal ticket?" She found herself oddly upset at his words, feeling the need to defend herself, and at the same time, sooth Logan.
He nodded. "What the hell else am I supposed to think at times? Some days you waltz into my apartment unannounced, all friendly and cheerful, chattering up a storm about whatever happened to you that day. And then there are the times when I won't hear from you for days. I usually end up making up some sort of excuse to page you, so that I can see you. And you're all business, swinging in long enough to find out what info I have for you, then you're out the door again, with hardly a 'hey how you doing.' So you tell me Max, what am I supposed to think?"
She was silent for a few moments, turning away and pacing a few steps before turning back to face him.
Shit, I knew I shouldn't have mentioned anything. Way to go Cale, you've just managed to alienate your best friend…even if she doesn't think of you as her best friend…Fuck. It'll be my own damn fault if she walks out the door and never comes back.
Max opened her mouth, as if to say something, then closed it, sighing in frustration. She turned away again, looking off into the night as she gathered her thoughts. Her back to him, she finally worked up the courage to say what was on her mind. "Maybe the reason I act so weird at times is because I'm just as confused as you are about how to act." She sighed, running her hand agitatedly through her hair, and turned to face him again. "I have friends, of course I do, but none of them, absolutely none of them, know what I really am. The one time I tried to tell Original Cindy and Kendra what I was, right after the tryptophan incident, they both stopped me before I could finish, thinking I was joking. Do you have any idea how scary it was, realizing that if I died right then, not a single person would be able to accurately claim that they knew the real me. Yet that was how I was raised, that was how I had to live, in secret.
"And then I met you. Brilliant, charismatic, and not to mention sexy as all hell…and then there was the added bonus that you, too, were living a secret life, giving us something in common. You were trying to make things better, on a much bigger scale than I was. I always envied you that. Here I was, a genetically enhanced fighting machine, basically wasting my "gift," while a normal man was accomplishing more good than I was. That stung. That first night, after walking in on you during one of your broadcasts, I couldn't get you out of my head. And it wasn't just your fabulous eyes I couldn't forget. You appealed to the humanitarian side I've tried to keep hidden. Suddenly I found myself fighting the urge to randomly drop by, just 'cause, so I could see you every day.
"I was always taught to avoid emotional entanglements, they always lead to trouble and liabilities. If I care about someone, that person can be used against me, and it could end up with that person dead, because of me. It's a sobering fact to live with, you know? And yet no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop myself from caring about you, probably a hell of a lot more than I should."
The flood of words finally stopped, leaving her standing there, chest heaving and face flushed from her emotions. Her eyes were infinitely sad, tearing into him. He wanted to cuddle her, tell her that it would all be ok, that he would never leave her, that he loved her…but he knew it would be too soon. So instead, before she had a chance to calm down and lock her emotions away again, he smiled softly at her and held out his hand. Her expression was slightly confused as she took his outstretched hand, as if not sure of what he wanted. He linked their fingers, simply holding her hand for a few moments, before finally giving it a last gentle squeeze and letting go. Her confusion gave way to a soft smile.
"So, there's this great series starting next week on the History Channel, all about life pre-pulse, and all the technologies they had. Really, it sounds fascinating, you should come watch it with me!" The two friends laughed as they walked off into the night.