WARNING: Excessive violence is ahead. This is basically a stark change from What Keeps Us Alive, but a more familiar area for myself. *sheepish grin* I am known for making heads roll… *literally* speaking of course. But it is a very dark fic, so heed my warning if you want to keep your stomach in tact. Don't believe me go read my fic called Wanders. I don't want to say I told you so…

DEDICATION: To chibi-angel, for taking the time to edit my other fic and just for being *so* nice. Read her stuff, guys. It's top quality!

Italics, [thoughts]

//Italics//, [flashbacks]

*~*, [past events, denoted otherwise]

Man'yoshu

Prologue: Hatsumode

They thought that she was fast asleep

But she was dead with sorrow.

They have kept her ever since

Deep within the lake,

On a bed of flag-leaves,

Watching till she wake.

William Allingham

247th Year of the Tokugawa

January 1, 1850, Asakusa Jinja Gardens

The unmistakable air of tension surround the small family, yet again in the new year. Kamiya Inori knew in the pit of her stomach that neither her or her husband were going to survive to even see the start of the new year with their precious daughter. She glanced down at the small bundle she carried in her arms. If only things could have been so different for us, Kaoru. I f only I could have been the mother you so rightfully deserve. She felt Shiro tighten his grip around her waist, bringing both her and Kaoru closer. He too, she realized. He too realized that this might be the last time the would ever see their daughter.

"Okaasan?"

Inori nearly jumped when she heard Kaoru speak. The tiny girl wrapped her arms around her mother's neck tighter, burying her head in the crook of her neck. Inori let out a shaky sigh.

"Go back to sleep, Kaoru-chan," Shiro spoke sternly. The child yawned and then her eyes widened. She knows. Kami, onegai— I don't want my daughter taking on the burden that I've been carrying for all these years. All I did was run away and look what it's done, my husband has lost his family and fortune---his reputation as great fighter to protect me. My daughter can't grow up in a stable household. I---I can't---

"I can't run anymore, anata."

Inori placed Kaoru down and looked into her husband's wide eyes. She gave him a small smile and gently pushed the still awakening Kaoru towards Shiro.

"Inori, onegai. You don't know what you're talking about. We'll make it out of here once the crowds clear. We'll be fine."

She shook her head, pulling a blue ribbon out of the small pocket of her kimono. She grabbed a fist-full of her long hair, using the ribbon to tie it into a ponytail. She motioned for Shiro to hand her the long clothed item that they had been carrying along with the ofudas as offerings.

"Inori…"

"Give it to me, Shiro. I'm tired of running away. I'm tired of my family having to suffer. I must pay my dues for all the things I've done in this life. It's a new year, 'tis time to start a fresh."

A snort could be heard from behind her. "It took you thirteen damn years to realize that running isn't the answer, Inori. Kind of pathetic, don't ya think?"

She growled, taking position in her fighting stance. She let out a small sigh of relief when she heard the soft footsteps of Shiro and Kaoru running to safety. Good. He won't harm you then.

"You really think that you could harm me, woman?"

Her hand gripped the clothed object tightly, letting the cover fall to the ground to reveal a sheath holding two long katanas. She closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down. She would be an use to her family if she had let the weariness of the past couple weeks get to her. A fresh mind, a clear heart is what I need to end this ridiculous chase. I will end this by all means, even if it involves my life.

Inori opened her eyes, a small smirk crossing her lips. She pulled

"Let see if you are as good as you say you are, Baku."

The shadowed man chuckled. "And let us see if your daughter's really worth the sacrifice."

Mistake number one, Baku. Never doubt a mother's will in concerns with her own child. My sacrifice will not be in vain.

I hope.

*~*

Present Time

255th Year of the Tokugawa

January 1, 1858, Hatsumôde

It had been cold that night. I remember watching from the comfort of my mother's arms all the families that had gathered at the shrine that day, preparing for their personal New Year's offerings. From rich to poor, everyone looked happy because they were with someone. Men with their wives, brothers and sisters, children and parents, they could depend on someone for that day. My family, however had much greater things to worry about.

My mother was the last survivor of Minamoto family, a powerhouse that had been involved in Japanese politics for years until the midst of new leadership to when they were forced to work as underground assassins. Then ten years ago, the government had found out a plot to assassinate one of the Ministers and took advantage of the break within the family, placing the my own mother, with her unbelievable skills, at the head of the plot.

My family ran for all eight years of my life up until that day. Although my father was only a minor samurai, he kept up with my mother. It was amazing how much my parent endured to keep me safe, all the self-sacrifices they both made just to make sure I would never take the wrong path when it came time to choose.

What drives me are my memories.

The blood and carnage are still unbearable to this day. My mother's last expression before being driven into a tree by a nihonto and father's head atop a wooden stick, the ground drenched with fresh blood.

My memories are what nearly drove me insane.

**

The coolness of the raindrops caused him to jump, his violet eyes looking up into the sky. His hand reached down to his sakabato, gripping it tightly as he continued down the dark alleyways of Tokyo.

There is change coming in the pace of the Revolution.

A great force is about to enter.

**

All right folks, this one's loaded with all shorts of history and fun names but I'll get to that later. This is obviously going to be a Kaoru + Kenshin paring in an unconventional sort of way. There are going to be a lot of obstacles, romantically and basically anything else I decided to throw into the mix. It should be loads of fun, for me at least. I know the ages are altered a teensy-weenie bit, but Kenshin or rather the Battousai's gonna stay a little closer to his age in terms of fighting in the revolution. *scratches head* That didn't make any sense at all. What I meant to say is that I'm going to cause the revolution a little earlier and people are just going to be older.

Fuuma: Tongue-tied again?

What is with you and appearing in fics that you don't belong? Go away!

Fuuma: I'll do as I please.

SAITOU! *watches as Fuuma runs away with a girlie scream*

*grumbles* Serves him right… Anyway!

Tomoe is going to be in this story as well as a very young Enishi for obvious reason. I just like Enishi *so* much… ^__^. I'm also going to have Misao and Aoshi join the story because well, I adore the too. But I have room for only one couple and it's a toss up between Saitou and Tokio or Sano and Megumi. I'll eventually decide when the time is needed, but do keep in mind that my decision can be altered with feedback. *cough, cough*

Historical Information

Man'yoshu- "Collection of Ten Thousand Leaves", the oldest existing collection of Japanese poetry. I thought it was a cool tightly and very appropriate for the story. It'll get mentioned.

Hatsumode- "First visit", starts after 12 AM on New Year's Day and for a few days afterward Japanese will visit a Shinto shrine or Buddhist temple to pray for what they desire in the coming year.

Tokugawa- Otherwise known as the Edo period, 1603-1867. The years of the Revolution among other things. This was when Japan attempts to be unified and is closed to outsiders. A robust populist urban culture develops in Edo [Tokyo]; most samurai stories are from this period. See I knew my history book was useful for something, who knew it'd be for fanfiction.

Asakusa Jinja- A shrine dedicated to the memory of the three men who were involved in the establishment of the temple Sensoji.

The Minamoto Family- One of the four greatest families of Japanese history, also known as the Genji. An offshoot of the imperial family, the Minamoto were defeated by the Taira family in 1160. Years later, they defeated the Taira family at the Battle of Dannoura.

Other Names

Baku- "Dream Eater". Not really a dangerous creature, but I'm going for the Vampire Princess Miyu effect where it's evil. He's going to stick around for awhile… Larva's so kawaii! ^_^

Inori- "Prayer". I've always thought Kaoru's mom to be more of a subdued and quiet woman wit hall the inner turmoil stuff going on, but also very skilled at whatever she is. I don't really picture her as an ass-kicking ninja, but she can kick ass when needed to. I also see her very protective of the family unit.

Shiro- "Castle". No religious pun intended. *rolls eyes*. I was watching the first episodes of the Revenge Arc again. Kaoru's dad's going to have to be very strong, even though I, well killed him. ^_^;;

Sakabato- Reverse blade sword… Duh.