Alternative Solutions

by Nomad1

An anonymous quote causes a stir, the president tries to apologise to his wife, and Sam faces a day of embarrassment.

Alternative Solutions

By Nomad
May 2002

Spoilers:	A few facts from "ITSOTG2"
Disclaimer:	I do not own these characters; I am not Aaron Sorkin. Although, just for today, I'm pretending to be.
Author's Note:	I'm up to my ears in transcripts for various reasons at the moment, and that inspired me to try my hand at writing a little West Wing script myself. Why am I writing this when I should be working on DtVS? Because I suffer from FADS (Fanfic Attention Deficit Syndrome), a surprisingly common affliction that results in a pathological desire to start new fics before I finish the old ones.

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TEASER:

CJ Arrogant jackass! FADE IN INT. WHITE HOUSE CORRIDOR CJ walking. CJ Swollen-headed, pompous, bitter, ill-informed and arrogant jackass! JOSH enters. JOSH Wow. That's... some anger you're working off there, Claudia Jean. CJ I'll say. She thrusts a piece of paper into his hands. He reads it as they walk. JOSH One of our guys said this? CJ They did. JOSH In response to...? CJ The thing about Leo. JOSH The thing about Leo? CJ Yeah. JOSH So this guy Kolberg totally trashes Leo, and one of our guys calls him a... swollen-headed, pompous, bitter, ill-informed jackass? CJ Also arrogant. JOSH And we care about this because...? CJ We don't. JOSH See, that's what I thought. CJ Except that we're the White House. And, officially, we care. JOSH Because it's unprofessional. CJ Yeah. JOSH As opposed to what that guy wrote about Leo? CJ Yeah. JOSH So we're looking for the quotee? CJ Not very hard. JOSH That's what I like to hear. TOBY comes up from behind and joins them. TOBY Where's Sam? JOSH I don't know, Toby, did he slip his leash again? TOBY He's late. CJ It's probably traffic. TOBY There's traffic every day, he wasn't expecting it? CJ He'll be here, Toby. Did you see the quote? TOBY Swollen-headed jackass? JOSH Also pompous, bitter and ill-informed. CJ And arrogant. TOBY Tell the press we're investigating. CJ I plan to, Toby. TOBY Are we? CJ Not very hard. TOBY Sam needs to be here half an hour ago. I have a twenty-seven page proposal. CJ Of marriage? TOBY Twenty-seven pages, CJ! I need it down to three. JOSH Couldn't you just photocopy it really small? CJ Why are you making Sam summarise it? TOBY He needs to learn about the importance of brevity. [Glances at his watch.] Also punctuality. [Shouts] Ginger! TOBY peels off in the direction of communications. JOSH looks at CJ. JOSH One of our guys really said that? CJ Yeah. JOSH [Grinning] Cool. CJ walks away as we follow JOSH into- INT. JOSH'S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS) DONNA follows him in. DONNA Josh, you've got a thing. JOSH [Rummaging at his desk] I have many things, Donna. DONNA A meeting. She hands him a folder, with a sticky note attached. JOSH peers at it. JOSH I have a meeting with 'with'? DONNA You have a meeting with WITS. JOSH That's an 's'? DONNA It's perfectly clear. JOSH Apart from the part where it looks like an 'h'. DONNA To people who can't read. JOSH Donna, who or what are WITS? DONNA Something you're obviously lacking in this morning. JOSH Donna. DONNA Women in Technology and Science. JOSH I have a meeting with Women in Technology and Science? DONNA Yes. JOSH All of them? DONNA Maybe just a sample selection. JOSH What do they want to talk to me about? DONNA It's all in the folder, Josh. JOSH Yes, but that would involve me caring enough to open it. DONNA Josh. JOSH Donna, what do they want? DONNA Money. JOSH From me? DONNA From the government. JOSH To do what? DONNA To encourage more women to go into science and technology careers. JOSH Why does that take money? DONNA Lots of women in America, Josh. JOSH Yes. And none of them are me. Send them to somebody else. DONNA Josh. JOSH Donna, I have important things to do this morning. DONNA This is important. JOSH You're doing the face again. DONNA What face? JOSH That face. DONNA This is my 'this is important' face. JOSH Well, it's not working. DONNA Josh. JOSH Donna, I have... things. To do. This Hawkman thing is still up in the air, I have to deal with that. And frankly, any meeting that involves me and a bunch of women with a mission that I don't want to talk to is not going to end well. DONNA This is true. JOSH Have somebody else take the meeting. DONNA There's nobody else. JOSH I'll talk to Leo. He turns to go. DONNA [Calling after him] Women in technology are our future, Josh! JOSH [Calling back] Your future, Donna, I'm not having a sex change. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN (CONTINUOUS) We see a lot of people looking at JOSH. He blinks at them for a moment. JOSH [To the room] I'm really not. He hurries away. END TEASER. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES

ACT ONE:

FADE IN: INT. LEO'S OFFICE LEO is at his desk. JOSH, CJ and TOBY stand in front of him. LEO [Not looking up from his work] Josh; what's going on with Hawkman? JOSH We're on it. LEO Toby? Where's that proposal? TOBY It's a mess. I'm having Sam summarise it. LEO finally looks up, and frowns. LEO Where is Sam? JOSH He's not here. LEO [Sarcastic] Thanks for that. CJ It's probably traffic. LEO He's worked here how many years now, he didn't expect there to be traffic? CJ just shrugs. LEO Okay. Get to work. TOBY leaves; both JOSH and CJ hang back. JOSH Leo, about this WITS thing- LEO Women in technology? JOSH Yeah. LEO Take the meeting, Josh. He goes back to his papers as JOSH leaves, and then registers that CJ is still there. LEO [Impatiently] CJ, was there something...? CJ [Hesitantly] Leo, about this quote- LEO [Dismissively] I'm on it. CJ I'm just saying, you shouldn't- LEO CJ- CJ -You shouldn't take it too seriously- LEO looks up and frowns at her. LEO CJ, this is the White House. We take everything seriously. CJ It was loyalty, Leo. LEO It was amateur, CJ! We can't have our guys running their mouths off every time somebody writes something we don't like! CJ Okay. LEO Okay. CJ starts to leave; LEO calls after her. LEO CJ. CJ Yeah? LEO Swollen-headed, pompous, ill-informed and arrogant jackass? CJ Yeah. LEO Okay. CJ starts to leave, then hesitates in the doorway. CJ Leo. LEO Yeah? CJ You know he's all those things and more, right? LEO Yeah. He goes back to his work. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN DONNA stands up as JOSH approaches, carrying the folder she gave him. DONNA Did you speak to Leo about the meeting? JOSH Yeah. DONNA What did he say? JOSH He said you should do it. He hands her the folder and walks off. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE CORRIDOR DONNA is walking along with the folder. She sees something off-screen, stops, and frowns. DONNA Sam? SAM is standing with a file folder held up so we can't see his face. SAM [Not lowering it] Hi, Donna. DONNA Uh, Sam? SAM Yeah? DONNA What are you doing? SAM [Innocently] What? DONNA [Gesturing] With the folder. SAM Reading. DONNA Sam, what are you hiding? SAM It's nothing. DONNA Sam. SAM Really. DONNA [Pointedly] Sam... SAM hesitates, then start to lower the folder. We cut to DONNA to see her reaction. DONNA Wow. CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM IN THE RESIDENCE BARTLET is adjusting his tie in front of a mirror. ABBEY wanders in, fiddling with her earrings. BARTLET [Not looking round] Hey. ABBEY [Mildly irritated] Hey yourself. She waits for a moment, but he doesn't turn. ABBEY I'm off to this thing in Maryland today. BARTLET [Still fiddling with his tie] Yeah. ABBEY I'm all dressed up. BARTLET [Preoccupied] Uh-huh. He still doesn't turn. ABBEY I'm actually here in the room with you, Jed. BARTLET [Turning] Huh? ABBEY I have a thing. In Maryland. I'm all dressed up. She spreads her arms to display her outfit. BARTLET And you look nice. He turns back to the mirror. ABBEY Gee, thanks. [After a moment] It wouldn't kill you to take a little interest, you know. BARTLET [Facing her again] Sorry. I have some important things this morning. ABBEY [Frostily] Important? BARTLET [Not picking up the tone] Yeah. ABBEY As opposed to my thing? He pauses, midway through adjusting his jacket. BARTLET You see what I did there? ABBEY Share it with me, why don't you? BARTLET I accidentally cast aspersions on the importance of your thing. ABBEY So you did. BARTLET And obviously, that's not something I want to be doing. ABBEY Don't worry about it. BARTLET [Warily] No? ABBEY No. You know why? BARTLET I suspect I'm about to be told. ABBEY Because you're a very important man. BARTLET Abbey- ABBEY And obviously, you know, your things are gonna be more important than my thing. It stands to reason. BARTLET Abbey- ABBEY [Headed for the door] So I'll just quit bothering you. BARTLET [Starting to get exasperated] For God's sake, Abbey, I just- ABBEY My plane leaves in three hours. Don't bother to see me off. [After a moment] After all, it's not that important. She leaves. BARTLET stares after her for a moment. BARTLET [quietly] Damn. He yanks the knot in his tie undone and starts to do it again. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE OVAL OFFICE LEO walks up to join BARTLET as they head inside. LEO Mr. President. BARTLET Leo. LEO You read the quote. BARTLET Yeah. CUT TO: INT. OVAL OFFICE (CONTINOUS) BARTLET makes for his desk. LEO We're looking for the source. BARTLET Do we have to? LEO It makes us look unprofessional. BARTLET Because we tell the truth? LEO Sir... BARTLET [Waving it away] Whatever. LEO [Frowning] Mr. President? You seem a little... BARTLET [Sharply] A little what, Leo? LEO Frankly, you seem a little pissed this morning. BARTLET I can't imagine why that would be, Leo. LEO Mr. President- BARTLET I had an argument with my wife. LEO What did you do? BARTLET What makes you think I did something? LEO Experience. BARTLET [Giving him a look] I may have inadvertently suggested that my work is more important than anything she does. [LEO winces] Although, technically, that's true. LEO And I'm sure it'll go down well if you point that out to her, Mr. President. BARTLET It's my fault. LEO Yes it is. BARTLET gives him a look. BARTLET I don't take my wife for granted, Leo. LEO Of course not. BARTLET It's just that I'm very busy at the moment. LEO And of course, you're sure to be getting less busy any day now. BARTLET You know, technically I could fire your ass any time I wanted. LEO You think you can run this country without me? BARTLET I'm becoming increasingly willing to try. LEO Yeah. BARTLET sighs and sits down at his desk. BARTLET I have to make my wife realise I really do appreciate her. LEO Yeah. BARTLET [Decisively] You know what I need? A strategy. LEO Or a personality transplant. BARTLET Go away. LEO Yes, sir. Smirking, he leaves the room. CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN Back view of SAM walking. Camera pushes in on BONNIE, sitting alone in the bullpen. She looks up and her eyes widen. Camera slowly pans around to SAM, and reveals that he is sporting a spectacular black eye. BONNIE [Beginning to grin] Been in a fight, Sam? SAM [Quietly and very fast] Hit myself in the face with a door, okay? BONNIE Excuse me? SAM I accidentally hit myself in the face with a door. BONNIE In the face? SAM Yes. BONNIE With a door? SAM Yes. BONNIE You accidentally hit yourself in the face with a door? SAM I did. He hurriedly passes her and heads towards his office. BONNIE calls after him. BONNIE We have these things, we call them door handles- SAM Leave me alone. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS) TOBY is sitting waiting for him. He looks up, and then blinks. TOBY Sam? SAM It was a door. TOBY You were physically assaulted by a door? SAM I hit myself in the face. TOBY You tried to walk through it before it was open? SAM It was a completely random accident that could have happened to anybody. TOBY Only if they were you. SAM Can we, I don't know, go back to work and never ever mention this again? TOBY Well, the phrase 'back to work' would seem to imply that you'd actually done some work already. Which, obviously, is not the case. SAM Toby- TOBY [Nodding at a folder on the desk] I've got a twenty-seven page proposal for you to summarise. SAM Me? TOBY You. SAM I'm not, oh, a few hundred times too qualified? TOBY just looks at him, until he starts to shift uncomfortably. TOBY I'm not sure you can be self-righteous after failing to figure out how to walk through a door. SAM I'll go now. He snatches up the folder and beats a quick retreat. TOBY Watch out for that door on your way out. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE.

ACT TWO:

FADE IN: INT. OVAL OFFICE BARTLET is at his desk. He looks up as CHARLIE comes in. BARTLET Charlie! Did you clear my schedule? CHARLIE Yes, sir, although I'm still not sure why- BARTLET I am a man with a mission, Charlie. CHARLIE Okay. BARTLET My wife is mad at me. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET And it's all my fault. CHARLIE If you say so, Mr. President. BARTLET I need to make this better. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET I need to make my wife feel better... You know what she needs? CHARLIE Respect and understanding? BARTLET Chocolate brownies. CHARLIE Chocolate brownies? BARTLET Yes, Charlie, chocolate brownies. CHARLIE Well, I could go order some for you, sir- BARTLET No, Charlie, real chocolate brownies, made by my own hand. CHARLIE By... your own hand, Mr. President? BARTLET Exactly! Come on, Charlie, let's go make us some brownies! He marches out excitedly, and CHARLIE stares after him for a moment. CHARLIE Okay. He follows the president. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE JOSH is at his desk, talking on the phone. JOSH Yes. Yes. I do understand that. But- Okay. Well, if you'd just let me- No, I don't think- Okay. Yes. Goodbye. [He scowls at the phone for a moment] Thanks for that. He looks up, and jumps as he sees DONNA in the doorway. DONNA [Amused] Using the phone without me? JOSH I did all my own dialling, too. DONNA Was that the Hawkman thing? JOSH Yeah. DONNA I thought you said it was in the bag? JOSH It was. DONNA Until...? [She frowns] The quote? JOSH Yeah. DONNA What's that got to do with anything? JOSH [Sarcastic] Apparently it 'throws doubt on the character of this administration'. DONNA This administration has character? JOSH Not any more, allegedly. DONNA Remind me again why we want this deal, anyway? JOSH Because... because. We've been working on it a long time. DONNA It's amazing your debating skills didn't sway the guy on the other end of that phone. JOSH I know. How was your meeting? DONNA We should give these people money. JOSH We haven't got any. DONNA You're going to spend money on the Hawkman thing. JOSH It's an investment. DONNA And educating women in technology subjects isn't? JOSH Well yeah, but it doesn't bring us any tangible return. DONNA Good will. Votes. The girls'll be grateful. JOSH Yeah, but to WITS, not to us. DONNA I'd've been grateful, if WITS had come to me when I was in college. I could've had a degree in Cybernetics by now. JOSH Along with the Political Science and Government, Sociology and Psychology, Biology, French and Drama? DONNA You remembered all my majors and minors? JOSH I am the Memory Man. DONNA You're really not. JOSH You're mocking my memory? DONNA What memory? JOSH I have a great memory. DONNA And you have a meeting you're supposed to be in. JOSH I remembered that. DONNA It started fifteen minutes ago. JOSH scrambles to his feet and dashes out. DONNA [Calling after him] Give them the money, Josh! CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN (CONTINUOUS) JOSH rushes out. He passes SAM in the corridor, then turns and stops. JOSH Sam? SAM Yeah? JOSH Were you in a fight? SAM No, I, I hit myself in the face with a door. JOSH smirks. JOSH You, yourself? As in without any outside intervention? SAM I gotta- I gotta go do a thing. JOSH [Calling after him] Watch out for those doors! SAM scurries away and we follow JOSH through the corridors. CJ comes up to join him. CJ Joshua. JOSH Claudia Jean. CJ Shouldn't you be meeting on the Hawkman proposal? JOSH I'm on my way. Something, uh, something came up. CJ Did you talk to the women from WITS? JOSH Donna did it. CJ Josh. JOSH [Defensively] She wanted to do it! CJ We should take them seriously. JOSH We do. CJ We're not giving them any money, are we? JOSH We haven't got any. CJ We're spending money on the Hawkman proposal. Which, by the way, we all know is a complete waste of- JOSH Are you gonna be saying that in the briefing? 'Cause I gotta- CJ No, Josh, I will defend your dumb-ass proposal to the hilt, and stand up there to proudly usher in this new era of cooperation. JOSH Or not. CJ Hawkman's holding out? JOSH Apparently they're not happy with our character. CJ Our- [Realising] the quote? JOSH Yeah. CJ They don't like the fact that we stick up for our own? JOSH Apparently not. CJ This is all we need. JOSH Leo's ready to tear the place apart over it. He's taking it personally. CJ He doesn't like it when our guys stick up for him. JOSH Yeah. CJ So I'm going out there to tell the press we're working on a proposal we don't like that might not go through anyway, and tracking down the source of a quote that we're not sorry about? JOSH You could also tell them the White House Deputy Director of Communications has trouble with walking through doors. CJ It's a real red-letter day for the administration, isn't it? JOSH Oh yeah. CJ heads off towards the briefing room and JOSH continues on his way. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE SAM lingers a little sheepishly in the doorway; LEO doesn't look up. SAM Leo? LEO Sam. SAM About the Hawkman thing- LEO It's not going through. SAM It's not? LEO I just spoke to Josh on the phone. We're not getting it back. SAM 'Cause I was gonna say, it wasn't a very good- LEO Yeah. There is a brief pause. LEO is still working and not looking up. SAM Leo, if you find the guy- LEO He'll be dealt with. SAM Leo, he was only defending- LEO We don't do that in this White House, Sam. SAM -Only defending you from Darren Kolberg, who's a- LEO I don't need defending, Sam, I'm a big boy now. SAM Leo, he's a hack! We shouldn't be defending his right to free speech, we ought to be suing him for libel. LEO This is the way we do things, Sam. SAM [Subsiding] Yeah. LEO Do this thing for Toby. SAM The summary? Leo, that's a job for the interns! LEO He wants you to do it. SAM He's punishing me. LEO Go. SAM He's punishing me because I rewrote the D-section for the president's address last Thursday. LEO Sam. Go. SAM lingers awkwardly for a minute. SAM [Blurting out] I walked into a door, okay? He dashes off, and LEO looks up for the first time. He blinks in puzzlement. LEO Okay. He goes back to his work. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE OVAL OFFICE NANCY looks up in bemusement as BARTLET approaches, bearing a plate of chocolate brownies. CHARLIE follows behind with a resigned expression. BARTLET [Waving plate expansively] Ah, Nancy! Smell those! Those are real, home-baked chocolate brownies! NANCY Home-baked, Mr. President? BARTLET Made 'em myself. CHARLIE And I stood by with the fire extinguisher. BARTLET [Wagging a finger sternly] Less of your cheek, young Charlie. Have I not proven my ability to bake beyond all reasonable doubt? CHARLIE Well, you didn't set the kitchen on fire, Mr. President, so I'm counting it a positive experience. BARTLET Just for that, Charlie, you will be barred from sampling the produce. CHARLIE I thought they were for the First Lady, Mr. President? BARTLET They are. But now I'm going to tell her not to give you any. He ducks into the Oval Office. NANCY Uh, Mr. President? The First Lady's gone. BARTLET [Appearing in the doorway.] Gone? NANCY She left early. BARTLET [Loudly] Godammit! CHARLIE Guess the First Lady won't be getting her chocolate brownies after all. BARTLET You're still not having any. [Turns to NANCY] Nancy, get me a camera. NANCY A... camera? BARTLET Yes, Nancy, a camera! Use your initiative. Stop a tourist. Mug a reporter. Buy one, I don't care. But get me a camera. He goes back into the Oval, and NANCY and CHARLIE exchange glances. CHARLIE I'd just humour him if I were you. BARTLET [Yelling from off-screen] I heard that! CHARLIE rolls his eyes and NANCY leaves. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO.

ACT THREE:

FADE IN: INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN SAM is walking along. People smirk at him as he passes. PASSING STAFFER Been in a fight, Sam? SAM No, I, I walked into a door. He sees Ginger grinning at him. SAM It was a door! GINGER That's what they all say. SAM Can't you people leave me to die in peace? He goes into his office. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS) SAM jumps as he sees TOBY. SAM Do you live here now? TOBY The summary, Sam. SAM I'm too qualified! TOBY Then it won't take you very long. SAM This is taking me away from more important work. TOBY Hawkman's not going through, you have no work. SAM I could find something more useful to do. TOBY Like learn how to walk through doors? SAM [Slumping down into his chair] Give me the draft. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE CJ'S OFFICE CJ walks up to CAROL. CJ Carol, what have I got-? DERRICK [Calling out from behind her] CJ! CJ [To CAROL] Reporters, following me, that's what I've got. CAROL gives her a sympathetic shrug. CJ [Turning on her heel] Derrick. DERRICK CJ. CJ What can I do for you this fine and glorious afternoon? DERRICK The quote. CJ [Rolling her eyes] We're investigating it. DERRICK I know you are. CJ Well, then. DERRICK I also know who said it. CJ looks at him for a moment, and then opens the door to her office. CJ In. CUT TO: INT. CJ'S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS) CJ closes the door behind them and turns to face DERRICK. CJ You know who made the quote? DERRICK Yes. CJ Who? DERRICK I'm not telling. CJ Derrick- DERRICK You know something? CJ Apparently you know more than I do. DERRICK Leo McGarry's a good man. CJ [Slowly] Yes he is. DERRICK And Darren Kolberg's a disgrace to the face of journalism. CJ [Half amused] You people have standards now? DERRICK CJ. CJ [Unapologetic] Sorry. DERRICK I'm not publishing the source. [CJ looks at him] Leo McGarry's a good man. CJ Yes. DERRICK And he's not the only guy who ever found himself with a few more bottles of scotch than he really ought to need. They exchange a long and meaningful look. CJ breaks it first. CJ Thank you. DERRICK I don't like Kolberg. I don't want to follow his lead. CJ You're a good guy. DERRICK Just don't let it get around. CJ Yeah. DERRICK I just wanted to let you know. I understand. Maybe some guys wouldn't. CJ And I appreciate it. DERRICK turns to go; CJ calls him back. CJ Derrick. DERRICK Yeah? CJ Hawkman's. It's not going through. DERRICK It's not? CJ No. DERRICK [After a moment] Good. CJ Yeah. DERRICK Okay. CJ The source? DERRICK I'm still not telling. CJ Okay. He leaves. CJ looks thoughtful for a moment, and then smiles. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE LEO is at his desk. JOSH comes in. LEO Josh. JOSH CJ's leaked Hawkman's to the press. LEO [Nodding] Okay. JOSH It was a bad deal anyway. LEO Yeah. JOSH We saved ourselves some money. LEO We did. JOSH [After a moment] I might have a thing. LEO looks up at him expectantly. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE LEO'S OFFICE JOSH emerges and nods at MARGARET. JOSH Hey, Margaret. MARGARET Hey. JOSH leaves, and Margaret just stands there for a moment. Then she approaches Leo's doorway. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS) LEO Margaret. MARGARET Leo, about this source you've been looking for... LEO Yeah? MARGARET I realise that this is quite a sensitive subject area, and- LEO Margaret. MARGARET -You don't like people making statements about- LEO Margaret. He gives her a look. LEO [With a long-suffering expression] What is it, Margaret? MARGARET This quote... LEO Yes. MARGARET It might have been me. LEO slowly looks up to meet her eyes. LEO Excuse me? MARGARET I may have said that. LEO You may have said that Darren Kolberg is a swollen-headed, pompous, bitter, ill-informed and arrogant jackass? MARGARET Yes. LEO To a reporter. MARGARET To several people. They exchange another long look. LEO shuffles papers. LEO Okay. MARGARET Okay? LEO Go. Work. MARGARET Okay. MARGARET nods rapidly and scuttles off. LEO looks after her thoughtfully for a moment. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN DONNA stands up as JOSH approaches. JOSH Hey. DONNA Hey. JOSH I need you to go back in there and give our answer to the people from WITS. DONNA Josh. JOSH Write this down. DONNA Josh, I don't- JOSH Get a piece of paper, Donna. DONNA picks up a notepad and pen and gives him a look. DONNA The least you could do is actually talk to them yourself. JOSH Take this down. DONNA You know, actually give them the benefit of talking to somebody official. Instead of me. Since, obviously, nobody listens to my opinion round here. JOSH The White House has spent some time considering the initiatives you propose- DONNA That was nice of us. JOSH -And after careful consideration- DONNA You've said consideration twice now. JOSH -We've decided to give your program the full funding that you asked for. DONNA Well, that's just- [She stops, and JOSH grins triumphantly at her] You're giving them the funding? JOSH We are. DONNA You said we didn't have the money! JOSH We didn't. DONNA And we do now? JOSH Since Hawkman's fell through. DONNA And you're just... taking the money from that and giving it to WITS? JOSH [Grinning] Yeah. DONNA You can do that? JOSH Leo okayed it. DONNA You suggested it to him? JOSH Yeah. DONNA Why? JOSH smiles at her. JOSH Because we can never have too many witty women. DONNA beams back. A moment later, CJ sticks her head in the door. CJ Guys? Coming out for drinks? JOSH [Standing] What's the occasion? CJ pauses for a moment, then smiles. CJ Today has been... a pretty good day. JOSH [Smiling back] It has, hasn't it? Come on, Donna. They leave. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE SAM and TOBY have their heads close together as they study a document intensely. SAM We can cut sixteen. TOBY It needs sixteen. SAM What about nine? TOBY You'd only have to slip it back in somewhere else. [He rubs his eyes] What are we down to? SAM Five and a half pages. TOBY thumps the desk dramatically. TOBY Two and half to go! SAM We can nail this. TOBY Yes, we can! They pay little attention as CJ, JOSH and DONNA arrive in the doorway. JOSH You guys coming out for drinks? SAM We're not done here. CJ Is it something important? TOBY Not even slightly. [To SAM] Four? SAM [Shaking his head] We need four, it's the bridge into the second section. TOBY Damn. JOSH Suit yourself. CJ We'll be down at the Four Seasons if you want to drop by. SAM Yeah. TOBY Whatever. Neither looks away from the document as the others leave. TOBY What about sixteen? SAM Oh, I could live without sixteen. TOBY [Expansively] Well, cut it out, by God! SAM grabs a pen and scribbles furiously. CUT TO: INT. HOTEL ROOM ABBEY is sitting on the bed. She reads a few pages of a report and then drops it in disgust. There is a knock on the door. ABBEY [Snappish] What? A young AIDE cautiously pokes her head in. AIDE Ma'am? There should be, uh, a fax coming through for you. ABBEY [Frowning] From the organisers? AIDE From the White House. She quickly flees whilst ABBEY looks at the fax machine across the room with a puzzled frown. The fax makes noises and spits out a piece of paper. ABBEY picks it up and stares at it for a moment. Then she starts to laugh. She moves over to the phone and quickly dials. ABBEY [Into phone, still amused] Put me through to my husband. She holds the paper up to look at it, and the camera closes in. We see it's a photograph of a plate of chocolate brownies, with the words "I Wanted to Say I'm Sorry" hand-written underneath. ABBEY [Into phone] Hey, babe. How's it going? She pulls up her knees under her on the bed, and smiles as she listens to the voice on the other end. FADE TO BLACK END