I cried shaking as it rained down on me. The blanket wrapped around my chilled body was not comforting as I looked over at the police lights flickering in the darkness. Cops stood by as they looked around near the mangled wreckage that contained my fiancé Cole. Firefighters cut into the car metal to get to him.

"Sara?" Grissom called, as he appeared holding an umbrella. He looked like he had just woken up. His dark eyes showed concern as he touched my covered arm. "Sara, I came to take you home."

I shook my head staring at the activity around the car.

"You need to come now." He said

"Not until…they get…him out." I said

Grissom looked over at the car then at me. He moved putting an arm around my back.

"Honey, come with me."

I looked at him with large eyes. He pulled me forwards to his car. I got in still watching ahead as he came in shutting the door. We both sat in silence then he spoke.

"Sara, I talked to Brass and he said that Cole died instantly." He said, looking at me. "He's gone."

I looked at him as he reached over to grasp my shaking hand.

"I'm sorry."

"You're wrong. They are getting him out and he will go to the hospital. He'll be okay!"

"No, he won't." Grissom said

I glared at him before getting out in the rain dropping the blanket on the ground running over in time to see them lowering Cole on a stretcher. Grissom ran over grabbing my arms trying to pull me away.

"No, leave me alone!" I said, getting free running over stopping as I reached the stretcher.

I felt a sob come from me as I looked at the grisly sight before me. Blood covered his body making me feel sick. I slowly took his limp hand raising it to my lips.

"Cole, it's me. Please….wake up!"

Brass walked over sadly watching the scene near Grissom.

"Cole!" I shouted, shaking him.

Grissom caught me as I started to fall sobbing hysterically as Brass motioned them to put the blanket over the body. Grissom picked me up taking me to his car again. He drove to his place carrying me to his front door. Once inside he lowered me on the couch looking at my wet clothes as I shook looking down.

"I'll get you some clothes." He said

He went leaving me. I looked at the diamond ring on my hand. Closing my eyes I felt my heart throb. Grissom came out with some folded clothes and a large towel. He gently stood me up taking me to his bathroom.

"Sara, do you want me to help you?" He asked

I slowly nodded looking down. He looked at me reaching for my shirt. I raised my arms as he lifted the shirt off my body. He put the towel around my shoulders. I felt my pants being taken off. Without thinking I let him take them off leaving me in my underwear. He rubbed my towel covered body trying to soak up as much water as he could. He had me sit on the toilet seat as he started some hot water in the bathtub. Kneeling down he took my socks off rubbing warmth into my feet. After that he left to give me some privacy. I slid into the tub closing my eyes feeling the bubbles surround me.

Grissom made coffee then he prepared something to eat. I heard a knock later as I opened my eyes.

"Sara, are you okay?" He asked

I didn't answer as I sat up looking at the disappearing bubbles.

"Sara?" He called, knocking gently.

I heard the door open and he sat on the toilet seat looking at me with concern.

"I was worried." He said

I moved my hand over the water.

"I made you something to eat."

I looked at him with red swollen eyes. He saw the torment in them. He got a dry towel helping me out of the tub then left me to dress. I came out in a pair of his sweat pants and shirt walking slowly over to where the kitchen was. He had a grilled cheese on a plate for me on his island.

"Have a seat." He said

I slowly sat on a stool picking at the sandwich as he poured me a drink. He sat down beside me putting the glass next to the plate.

"I have the spare bed turned down for you."

He watched me take a tiny bite then stand up.

"I'd like to lay down." I said, quietly.

"Okay." He said, leading me to the spare room. "I think you'll be warm enough."

I looked at the bed as he looked at me.

"If you need me I will be next door."

I nodded watching him leave. I sat on the bed hearing him walk around in the next room.

Grissom moved in bed hearing crying coming from the other room. He got up walking to the bedroom I was in. I was curled on my side crying among the tangled sheets on the bed. Grissom turned on the lamp on the bedside table sitting down touching my back.

He rubbed my back feeling me shake. He sighed turning off the light sliding in behind me. His arms went around me.

"It's all right." He said

I moved burying my face into his chest.

"I am so sorry." He said

Hours later he woke seeing it was one. He looked at me lying beside him breathing slowly on my stomach. He reached over moving my hair from my face.

The doorbell went off and he got up closing the door. Rubbing his head he opened the door seeing Catherine standing outside looking upset.

"Hey." He said

"I brought you dounuts." She said, holding up a bag.

"Great, come in." He said, moving letting her enter. She came in looking around as he walked into the kitchen starting coffee.

"So where is Sara?" She asked, putting the bag down on the island.

"Sleeping in the spare room." He said, turning on the coffee maker.

"Brass told me how bad it was."

Grissom nodded sighing.

"It was really bad. I have never seen her so crushed."

Catherine handed him a glazed dounuts out of the bag.

"I know she really cared for him." She said

"Brass is upset to. He lost a good cop." Grissom said

Catherine nodded chewing.

"I hope they catch the other driver soon."

"Brass is hunting them down right now." Grissom said "All we know is that it was a blue car."

He poured her some coffee in a cup.

"Gil, this is one time you can help her. You lost Sophia due to an accident a year ago."

Grissom nodded still feeling a twinge when her name was spoken out loud.

"You can help her now."

They both jumped as I screamed in bed. Catherine ran in first seeing me sitting up screaming. Grissom got on the bed pulling me to him.

"Ssh, it's okay." He said

I shook breathing in and out hard. Catherine sat on the other side touching my back.

"You're safe." Grissom said

"Cole…..where is he?!" I asked

"Sara." Catherine said

I looked at her as Grissom moved back.

"You and Cole had an accident while going home. You came out with a few scratches, but Cole…..was hurt and he died."

I stared at her then at Grissom.

"Sara, do you understand?" He asked

"We were…..talking about….the shift. He said…something funny. We went through a…..green light and….then I heard a loud bang."

I looked down as Grissom moved my hair back.

"We….decided to….get married over the weekend."

Catherine looked at Grissom sadly as he looked at her.

"Why don't I get you some coffee?" Catherine said, getting up.

"Give us a minute." Grissom said

She nodded before leaving.

Grissom silently watched me hold my head with my hand.

"Sara, look at me."

I raised my head looking at him.

"I will have to go into the office. I want you to stay here and rest."

"I should go home." I said "I want to see him."

"No, I don't want you to do that just now."

I watched him stand leaning over pushing me down gently. He covered me touching my cheek then he walked out closing the door. Catherine stood by the door looking at him.

"She'll sleep soon." He said

"Want me to stay?"

"No, I need to go in then I will come back and be with her." He said

"Why don't you stay? I can take care of things."

"I need to talk to Brass." He said

"Okay."

Grissom and Catherine left and I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I got up dressing in my dry clothes taking a cab to the lab. Doc. Robbins was writing at his desk when I walked in looking pale and drawn. He looked at me as I looked around the room.

"Sara, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see Cole."

He stood walking over.

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"I just want to see him." I asked

He watched me a moment before walking to one to the freezer doors opening it he pulled out a table with a body bag. I walked over as he watched me from the other side. Swallowing I reached over unzipping the bag opening it to see Cole all cleaned up and severely bruised with a large gash on his head.

"He didn't suffer." The doctor said

I nodded looking at Cole. Robbins walked away to his desk grabbing his phone. I reached down touching Cole's cold cheek.

Grissom walked in seeing Robbins motioning at me. He sighed walking over to where I stood.

"Sara, I told you to rest." He said, standing where Robbins stood.

"I had to come and see him." I said

"This is not good for you." He said

I looked down at Cole as Grissom looked at him then at me.

"Let's go." He said

"No!" I said

"Sara, you need to leave now!"

"I want to be here!" I said

He came around grabbing my arm pulling me away.

"No….please let me stay!"

Grissom said nothing as he pulled me out of the room. He let me go standing in front of the doors. I tried to get past him, but he stood firm. I backed up feeling tears go down my cheeks.

"I need to be with him!"

"Sara, you have just had a major trauma. We don't need to cause you more pain."

I looked at the door then at him. He watched me come closer putting my head against his shoulder. He put his arms around me.

The funeral was planned by his family a week later. I stood near the priest only half listening as I looked at the oak casket with a big bouquet of red roses over it. Grissom glanced at me standing beside him then he looked at the priest.

At the end his mother walked over hugging me then she walked away. I looked at the casket then I felt Grissom's hand.

"Sara, it's time to leave."

I slowly nodded letting him lead me away. The small gathering at Cole's and my apartment was not comforting to me. I escaped not able to stand the hugs anymore. Grissom came into my bedroom seeing me sitting on the large bed.

"Everyone is asking where you are." He said, as he closed the door.

"I can't go back out there." I said

He sighed walking over sitting beside me.

"You must be tired." He said

"It's just hard to be hugged and told how wonderful he was. I knew he was wonderful."

"He was a good man." He said

I nodded looking around the room.

"I can still feel him in here."

"I felt like that with Sophia." He said

I looked at him as he looked around.

"You miss her."

"I do, but I have decided to move on. I did love her, but I can't let myself shut down."

I got up walking around the bed looking out the window. Grissom walked over standing beside me.

"The day it happened was one of the worst days of my life. I struggled for weeks to get back on track. When I came home after work I would look around seeing things that reminded me of her."

I touched his hand and he looked at me. Without thinking I came closer kissing him on the lips. He didn't move as I moved my hands to his hair and cheek slowly moving my lips against his. He put his hands onto my waist tilting his head. Our breathing changed as the kiss intensified.

Grissom moved back breathing hard.

"Sara…..you're…vulnerable."

I reached down unbuttoning his shirt.

"We…need to….stop." He said, stopping me.

I stared into his eyes.

"You….don't…want to?"

"I….do, but…this…is wrong."

I stepped back looking down. He watched me walk to the bathroom shutting the door. He sighed buttoning his shirt then he walked over to the bathroom door.

"Sara, please come out."

"Leave me alone!" I said

He sighed putting his head against the door. I sat down on the side of the bathtub looking at myself in the mirror. Grissom walked out seeing Catherine talking to Nick in the corner. He signaled her over.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked

"Will you go in and talk to Sara?"

"Okay, where is she?"

"Bathroom."

Catherine touched his arm before going into the bedroom. She knocked then opened the door slowly seeing me still sitting.

"Hey." She said "Mind if I join you?"

"No." I said

She sat on the toilet seat.

"It's to crowded out there."

"Did Grissom ask you to come in here?"

"He asked me to check in on you."

I nodded looking down.

"So how's everything going?"

"I don't know."

"That's normal." She said

"I….kissed Grissom."

She looked at me in surprise.

"How was it?"

"Bad, he rejected me."

"That's Grissom, always the gentleman." She said "Sara, I want to tell you something."

"What?"

"Grissom, is in love with you."

I looked at her wide eyed.

"He is?"

"Very, but you need to understand that you are vulnerable and being the man that he is. Grissom does not want to ruin this by taking advantage of you."

"He…never said."

"Believe me no one knew except me. Give it some time. He will make his move, but it needs to be when he feels its right."

"You think he will?"

"I know he will."

"Okay." I said