A/N: After all of the Rumors and Hype that have been surrounding Episode 4x04, and after listening to "Mine" on repeat for the past several days, I felt inspired to write this. I'm not used to writing in first person, so sorry if it seems weird. Anyway let me know what you think or if you want me to continue.
Sighing, I juggle my gym bag and my backpack, trying to lose either one, as I fish for my keys out of my pocket. I enter my dorm room quietly, already knowing that my roommate is asleep. It's 2 O' Clock in the morning, and I am coming home late after a long day of classes, homework and a killer cheer practice. The door creaks when I close it, and I wince, hoping that the sound won't wake Angie up. I've noticed since moving here that she gets really cranky when she's tired, and I don't really like it.
Moving over to my side of the room, I place my gym bag and my backpack on the floor by my bed, and collapse on to the blanketed surface, exhausted. I know that I should probably undress, or at least take my bra off since I will probably be sore in the morning, but I'm too tired to move. I close my eyes, and I snuggle into my pillow, but despite my tiredness sleep does not come.
On my nightstand, my phone suddenly lights up, and I slap my forehead, realizing that I didn't even notice that I left it here all day. I don't even have to look at it to know that it's a message from Brittany, but when I do see it the message breaks my heart.
Brittany: I guess that I'll talk to you tomorrow. Ly. :(
My fingers ache to text her back, but I know that it's late and that I should let her get to sleep, that I have to sleep. Slowly, I force myself to set the phone back down next to me on the pillow, and I close my eyes tightly. In my mind I can see her, and I know exactly what she is doing. I can see her lying on her bed the same way, I am, holding her phone tightly in her hand, waiting. Her eyes are closed to, and I know that she is picturing, although what she is imagining me doing I don't know. I can see tears falling down her cheeks and it breaks my heart to know that I put them there.
I never had imagined that it would be this hard. I crave her presence like a drug, and I miss her so badly that it's a real ache. I know that this year apart has been hard on her, and I wish that I could do more, but I feel so helpless knowing that I'm so far away, that I can't wipe those tears away, or hold her. But at least I know that she has friends to help her out… Sam has texted me a couple of times, and it makes me feel better to know that he is looking out for her as long as that is all that he is doing.
But even then I have to wonder if we are doing the right thing, if I'm the right thing for her right now. And while I know that I'm still insecure about losing Brittany to a man, I know that her happiness is my own, and that if Sam would make her happy then I wouldn't stand in her way. But it would break my heart to see it….
That thought makes me angry, and I turn over violently on my bed, shoving my face into my pillow and screaming in frustration, which just leaves me feeling more empty inside, and I feel tears falling down my cheeks. I'm so tired…not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I just want Brittany…
I'm struck with a sudden thought that makes me sit up. I don't have classes tomorrow, because of some Student forum thingy. I reach for my phone and shove it into my jeans, and then I grab my gym bag, and dump it out on the bed, before running over to my dresser, and shoving clothes into the main pocket. I follow that with my bathroom stuff, and last but not least the guitar from my closet that was a gift from my dad after I learned to play it last summer. I manage not to slam the door as I leave my dorm room and walked down the hall. My heart flutters in my chest, as I tell myself that I'm going to give Brittany and I a fighting chance, and I can only accomplish that by seeing her face to face. I'm going to sing her a song, and tell her how much she means to me, and ask if she wants to continue to give us a shot, or if she wants us to just let go. And as much as it pains me to do so I will, because I can't keep hurting her anymore.
I have to be the mature one now, and I have to do the right thing… but I'm not letting her go without a fight.
A/N: For any of who are reading my other story, I'm working on the next chapter. I just got distracted with new episodes, so don't despair I haven't abandon it, and it should be up within the next few days.
Anyway, I hope that you liked this one, and If you want me to continue, let me know. Remember to review, I want to know what you think, or if you have any predictions for what is going to happen in the episode tomorrow.
PS: I also joined Tumblr, so look me up. My user page is under the same name as my user name here (Warriorbard2012). So if you want to ask me questions about my stories or review, you can there as well.