On the surface, it would be hard to think of two people less likely to be friends than Superman and Batman. The Metropolis Marvel is known for being cheerful, optimistic, open and friendly while the Dark Knight is renowned for being broody, dark, secretive and hostile. Superman is quite possibly the most famous and recognizable man on the planet, while Batman is largely regarded as an urban legend. Despite these differences, the two have forged an enduring friendship.
When they first met, both heroes privately vowed to stay in touch with one another, not for reasons of friendship but of wariness. Superman saw in Batman someone haunted by his demons, living on the ragged edge of sanity- and became determined to watch him in case he went over that edge. He could only imagine the havoc a psychotic Batman could wreak. For his part, Batman saw Superman as a nearly unstoppable alien force, whose power was constrained not by the law but by his own code- and vowed to watch him in case he needed to be stopped. Both masked their suspicions in friendliness, and professions of mutual respect.
Surprisingly, neither suspected the other of duplicity. Clark believed that Batman would never waste time pretending to be friendly, and the Dark Knight didn't believe Superman to be capable of that level of acting. It helped, of course, that both men believed they could detect lies perfectly. So it was that whenever Clark was in Gotham, he and Bruce would go for dinner. Conversely whenever Batman had a case in Metropolis, the two would have coffee on a rooftop. They collaborated on many cases, with an astounding success, which prompted many in the Super-Community to label them as The World's Finest. They formed a winning combination of power, intelligence, lateral thinking, and a vast array of contacts.
Over time, however, their relationship changed. It became natural for Clark to vent his frustration with Lois ("I'm the Other Man in our relationship! It's unbelievable!") to Bruce, or for Batman to grumble about the way he was forced to behave as Bruce Wayne ("Sometimes I feel like punching MYSELF square in the face"). Clark always made it a point to visit Gotham at least once during January, the month of Thomas and Martha's deaths, and to give what comfort the dark vigilante could accept. Batman grudgingly gave tips on dealing with women, gleaned from years of careful observation of the Playboy Set. Gradually, their friendship became less and less of an act, and more something both men came to depend upon. Of course, neither recognized this- until Thanksgiving of one year.
"…so what do you say?" Clark said. He was using the handset of his phone and as he spoke, he tidied up his small apartment.
"I'm sorry" Bruce said- and it WAS Bruce speaking, not Batman. The tone was light and airy, and completely devoid of intelligence. Clark inferred from this that his friend was in public "I must have a bad connection. Could you repeat that, Clark?"
"I said that my family is having a big Thanksgiving dinner at the farm this year, and I wanted to know if you'd like to come. Ma's already cooking extra for Lois, so there'll be plenty to go around" Clark said, picking up an old pizza box from the floor. He sniffed it, made a face, and incinerated it with his heat vision.
"I see. Clark, you DO realize I'm a multi-billionaire who lives with a world-class chef, right? Not a guy in a two room apartment looking forward to a Turkey TV Dinner?"
"Yeah, but…" Now Clark paused, unsure why he was even asking. He knew Batman would probably have a better meal at his manor than anything Ma Kent could produce. Nor was he likely to be lonely- quite apart from the many members of the BatClan who would no doubt be in attendance, Batman wasn't the type to ever be lonely. "I…guess I just thought you might want to, I don't know, try a real old-fashioned family dinner."
"…" At the other end of the line, Bruce Wayne was silent. He was seated at his private table in Gotham's exclusive Sky Lounge, waiting for the evenings bimbo to make her appearance. Clark's call seemingly came out of nowhere, and his first impulse was to reject the invitation. He would politely (but firmly) tell the boyscout that he had other plans.
Except…he DIDN'T really have other plans. With Dick away at college now, and Barbara with her father, it would just be him and Alfred in the manor for thanksgiving. Once, that wouldn't have bothered him in the slightest, but in the last few years he'd gotten used to having company for the holidays. Annoying though he could sometimes be, Batman had to acknowledge that for the most part the Man Of Steel was tolerable company. More than that, he couldn't actually remember Thanksgiving with his parents- and he wondered what it was like. "You know what Clark? I think I'll take you up on that."
"…What?" Clark paused in the act of bending over to retrieve an errant sock, positive that he'd misheard.
"I said I'll be there. Can you meet us at the airport in Kansas City?" Bruce said as his date (a bottle blonde with too much perfume and not enough clothing) walked into the room. As he tried to remember her name (Greta? Gretchen? All the airheads started to look alike) he waved her over.
"Uh…yeah…yeah that-that'll do fine" The most powerful man in the world stammered. "Two o'clock. Uh, will Alfred be coming?"
"Well, I can't leave him all alone. I'll see you then. Bye." He hung up, and turned to his date "So, Greta, right?"
Clark hung up, his eyes fixed on the far wall. What had he just done?
"..And that's the story, Alfred. I hope it's not a problem." Batman said, tightening his cape in preparation for the night's patrol. He didn't expect any significant troubles- all the major Rogues were locked away in Arkham at the moment, and lesser criminals seemed to be taking a break. He liked it when there was a lull in Gotham, it made him feel like he could actually win his war on crime.
"Not at all, Master Bruce. " Alfred's tone revealed nothing but pleased surprise, and Batman smirked a little. No matter what his butler thought, NO ONE knew everything about Batman. "I will admit it's a tad unexpected for you to go to dinner with a friend, but I am nevertheless pleased that you actually have one."
Now the Dark Knight frowned. "He's not a friend Alfred, he's a danger. If Superman ever goes rogue, the entire world would be in grave danger. It's easier for me to keep tabs on him under a façade of friendship, so that is what I do. My reasons are logical and purely professional. I don't have time for friends outside our family"
"I see sir" Alfred said, raising an eyebrow "Then I assume you have some reason to keep especially close watch on him this Tanksgiving? Undoubtably, he intends to enact some nefarious plot for global domination. One involving turkey, gravy, and an herb-garlic stuffing, I've no doubt."
Batman turned to glare at his oldest friend. "I'll be back late. Don't wait up."
"Certainly not, sir. Oh and sir?"
"Yes, Alfred?" The Caped Crusader turned to look back at his butler. He was surprised to see a fearsome glare on the older man's face.
"Master Kent has spoken to me at length of his parents. Not only is he extremely fond and protective of them, but I understand them to be good and decent people. You will behave in an appropriate and friendly manner while we are there, without resorting to the Fop persona,. If you do not, I daresay you will discover that you are not to big to be put over my knee. Is this understood, Master Bruce?"
Suddenly Batman understood how the criminals felt when he interrogated them. "Crystal, Alfred"
"Very good, sir." The Englishman's voice was once again cool and friendly, and he resumed dusting the Batcomputer.
A/N
I know I should get to work on Suburban Fun and Games, but this idea seemed too good to pass up. Next time: Bruce on the Farm! The Friendly Folk of the Heartland! Lois is banned from the Kitchen!